Chapter 14
Skylar
It would have been easier to move to another country; Mack didn’t give up easily. After ignoring his calls for nearly two weeks, he showed up at my door. It was a good thing my father was at work, because I’m pretty sure he would have killed him in the driveway. I refused to let him in the house. He would push my buttons until I felt sorry for him and time had taught me that it wasn’t what I wanted anymore.
“Come on, Sky. I’ve given you time. You can’t just avoid my calls and expect me to get over you. I miss you.”
I pointed right at him. “You miss the idea of having me for yourself, but you don’t know anything about being a good boyfriend. We’re supposed to be friends. We need to trust each other. I don’t feel either of those things apply to you anymore.”
He leaned against the post on the porch. “So, I’m just supposed to walk away and act like you meant nothing to me?”
I shrugged. “If that’s what you have to do.”
He pointed to the porch floor. “If I leave this house, I’m not coming back for you. I’m done playing this game where I chase you.”
“If you think threatening me is going to make me reconsider, I wonder if you ever knew me at all.” I let out a laugh, which seemed to piss him off.
“I’m sorry I wasted my time on you, Skylar. You’ll never find someone like me.” He started to walk to his car.
I stepped off the porch. “You’re right about that. I’m sure my next boyfriend will love and respect me, which are two things you suck at.”
He opened his car door, shook his head and muttered, “Fuck this,” as he climbed into the vehicle.
I sat down on the rocker, next to the front door and pulled my knees up to my chest. Despite the emotions I was feeling, I couldn’t help but notice a bit of relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off of me.
Since my mother was due home in the evening, my dad had arranged for us to go out to dinner. I looked forward to spending more time with each of them, considering they were the only things holding me together. No matter how many things I tried to do to occupy my time, my mind always reverted back to Ford. Two weeks had passed since I last saw him, but it still felt like it was yesterday.
I traced my fingers over my lips and thought about the way that he’d kissed me. I could still smell his deodorant and remember how his hair smelled the first night we were together. Even the smell of someone smoking reminded me of Ford.
Seeing my mother was just what I needed. She pulled me into her arms and I didn’t want her to let go. “I missed you so much.”
She pushed me away so that she could get a good look at me. “How’s my girl? Are you feeling any better? Dad says that you are meeting with the local college to see if you can enroll for this semester that’s getting ready to start. It will be nice to have you home with us.”
I smiled, thinking of them being there for me. “Yeah, they said it shouldn’t be a problem. Of course, my credits will transfer and I can take general courses until I figure out if I want to stick with my current major.”
She put her arm around me as we walked. “It seems like you have everything taken care of. I was worried when I had to stay in Japan for an extra week. Thankfully, I’ll be home for the next two without having to travel. We can catch up and go shopping if you’d like.”
‘’Are you kidding? I’d never pass up a chance to go shopping.”
“That’s my girl!”
Dinner was more like a celebration, instead of a pity party. It wasn’t like I was dwelling on the fact that I’d never see Ford again. Sure I thought about it all of the time, but knew it was important for me to move forward with my life. I’d be a fool to dwell on something or someone I had no control of.
For the next few days my mother kept me busy. We went shopping and visited my brother and his family. It felt like a holiday instead of just being a normal day of the week. My dad even re-painted my room in a soothing blue that my mom felt was more adult than the purple color it had been for years.
I managed to sign up late for several of the classes that I’d been enrolled in at my other school. The calls from Mack finally stopped, but the silence was just as bad. Sometimes I would stare at my phone, anxiously waiting for it to ring.
Except it never did.
The only calls I got were from my friends, especially Lacey. After apologizing for letting Mack stay with them at the beach, she’d been trying as hard as she could to make it up to me. Over the past few months she’d been seeing this guy that I’d never met. She said he was a lifeguard when she met him a few years back, but now he was working at some detail shop for custom cars. On occasion, he would take her to fancy car shows and she even had her picture taken with a few famous people at those events. Lacey was beautiful and classy. She wanted things and did whatever she had to do to get them.
When her boyfriend was in town, she spent every second with him, and even drove back to the beach to see him on the weekends. I was glad she was happy, but longed to have what she did. I wanted to answer the phone with a smile on my face, because I knew the person I loved was on the other line. I wanted to smile when I saw my boyfriend pulling up to take me out. Being alone was terrible and I was tired of pretending that I was going to be fine. I needed to move on with my life. Being young was a gift and I needed to feel like myself again, before the “week from Hell” happened.
When I told Lacey about my new predicament, she insisted I should go out with her and her new beau. She swore he wouldn’t mind. So I got dolled up and we met him in the city, about halfway between where they both lived. Lacey ran up and threw her arms around the guy like he’d just come off of tour overseas. They kissed and got caught up in each other, forgetting that I was standing there, looking like the third wheel that I didn’t want to be.
Finally Lacey turned around and pulled her man by the hand over to where I was standing. “Sky, this is my boyfriend, Shayne. Shayne, this is my best friend, Sky.”
Something about this guy was so familiar, but I couldn’t place where I would have met him before. He smiled, but didn’t say anything.
“Have we met before?”
When he spoke, his southern drawl caught me off guard. “I reckon it’s possible. I’ve met a lot of people workin’ at the beach.”
His voice reminded me of Ford’s immediately, but this guy looked nothing like him. He had messy blonde hair and light blue eyes. Even though he wasn’t a lifeguard anymore, his skin was dark and sun-kissed. “Yeah, maybe I’ve seen you around.”
I tried not to stare, except for the rest of the night I found myself wondering why this guy seemed so familiar to me. When Lacey stepped away to use the ladies room, he approached me. “I got this cousin I think you might want to meet, if you’re interested.”
I smiled and felt weird that he was trying to set me up instead of Lacey. She hadn’t mentioned him having a cousin and I surely didn’t want to be set up with someone that wasn’t my type. “Thanks. I’m not into guys anymore.”
“That’s a real shame, because I’m pretty certain that you two would really hit it off.”
“Like I said before, I’m not into guys.”
I have no idea why I told him that, but he didn’t ask me another question for the rest of the night. It made me feel uncomfortable, so I kept to myself. As we were driving home, Lacey gave me a hard time about it. “What is your problem? Why would you tell him you were a lesbian?”
“I didn’t. I just said I wasn’t into guys.”
“Same difference.”
“Whatever! I’m not meeting some stranger. Don’t you think I’ve had enough bad luck with guys?”
She started laughing. “Actually, I think that once you slept with a strange guy you met on the road, all rules are off.”
“Screw you!” I laughed with her, realizing what she was saying made sense. “Just because it happened once, doesn’t mean it will ever happen again.”
“You know what I think?”
I hated when she asked me that.
“I don’t want to know.”
“I think that you’re still hung up on that Chevy guy.”
“Ford.” As if I hadn’t told her about him a zillion times.
“Who cares what his name is? You still want to see him again. Admit it!” Sometimes, I wondered why I told her anything. She obviously knew how to pluck my nerves.
“So what if I do? It’s not like I’ll ever see him again. He has a girlfriend, remember?”
“That didn’t matter to you before.”
I rolled down the window to get some air. “It did matter. He said they weren’t together. She saw me leave with him twice. I obviously didn’t affect them getting back in bed together.”
“You’re telling me that if you saw him again, you wouldn’t want to get back in his bed? I know you better than that, girlfriend, and I can tell you are still hung up on him. You moved back home and practically gave up a top-notch education. You can tell the whole world that it was because of Mack, but I know the real truth. I know that those couple days you spent with that Ford guy left you lost and confused. You haven’t been the same and you know it.”
She messed with the radio and turned a song up before I could answer. The problem with being friends for so long gave her the right to tell me how she felt, whenever she found it necessary.
I leaned over and turned down the song. “You’re right. I can’t stop thinking about him. What am I supposed to do? I’ve tried everything.”
“Go out with Shayne’s cousin. He may not be as hot, or as good in bed, but he’s the distraction that you need. There’s other fish in the sea, Sky. You’re the worst rebounder ever!”
“I know!” I shook my head. “Fine! I’ll go out on one double date with you, but if this guy turns out to be some creep, I’m going to kick your ass the whole way home.”
She started laughing. “Deal!”
Ford
I’d had a shitty couple of weeks, dealing with my mother being in rehab and my father fawning over his decision to let her back in his life. With my uncle and cousin stopping by frequently, life had gotten too chaotic to even consider looking up Sky. I was sure I could find her on the internet, or even poke around on her campus, but with nothing to offer her; I knew she was better off. Maybe her thinking that I was with Ashley was the best thing for her.
Of course, Ashley wasn’t backing off, at all. She called me constantly and often ended up at my place, sometimes so drunk that I couldn’t let her drive home. I’d just gotten to the point where I didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. My life was a mess and I couldn’t see a way to make things better.
With my father all messed up in the head, it was up to me to keep the business going. I hated seeing my cousin pulling up in his fancy car with that stereo system, while I drove my truck around and lived off of barely anything.
When he offered to set me up, I told him no, six times. I didn’t want to be around some girl and have to act like I was a gentleman. The last time I wanted to be with a girl, she left me more messed up than before we ever met.
But he insisted.
Finally, after a week of him asking, I agreed.
He picked me up on a Friday night. The weather was cool that night and I grabbed my jacket in case I needed it. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
“Cuz, you are so gettin’ laid tonight.”
I shook my head and scrunched up my face. “I ain’t interested in fuckin’ this girl. I only agreed to this because you wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Pussy is pussy, dude.”
“Says the guy that has a girlfriend.”
We both began to laugh. “So, Lace is pickin’ up her friend and they are meetin’ us halfway, since it’s an hour drive. I told her we’d meet them at that pub we used to go to. Do you remember?”
“Yeah. I remember carryin’ your ass out of there.”
We joked for the rest of the thirty-minute ride. I wasn’t nervous about meeting this girl, considering that I never had to see her again, if I didn’t want to. It was pathetic, but before I even laid eyes on her, I was comparing her to the first time I met Sky. Her blonde hair was whipping around in the wind and those bright eyes turned me on, instantly.
When we got to the pub, the girls weren’t there, so we went in and got a table. We’d ordered a round of drinks for ourselves and were sitting down when they came in. My back was facing the door they entered from, so Shayne spotted them first. I took a sip of beer and waited to meet this mystery girl that he was dying to set me up with. When Shayne and his girlfriend went to sit down, I turned and got the shock of my life.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and she couldn’t take her eyes off of me either.
Shayne cleared his throat. “Ford, this is…”
“Sky.” Her name just came out of my mouth while my eyes didn’t even blink. She looked stunning. “What are you doin’ here?” I turned to glance at my cousin, who was smiling from ear to ear.
“Lacey is my best friend.”
“Shayne is my cousin.”
The staring continued.
“Did you say your name was Ford? The Ford?” Lacey walked over and shook Sky. “Oh my God, this is crazy.” She looked at Shayne. “Did you know?”
He shrugged. “I had a feelin’.”
Lacey kissed him and they sat down together.
I reached over and grabbed Sky’s hand. “Come with me.”
She didn’t say a word, but let me lead her outside of the bar. My cousin said something as we walked away, but I didn’t stop to listen. Once outside, we turned to face each other. “I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you, darlin’.”
She smacked me so hard across my face that I think I saw stars. “Don’t you call me darlin’! I thought you liked me, but you left me at the beach to go hook up with your ex. You’re nothing but a two timing asshole!”
She started to walk away, so I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She slammed into my chest. “You’re wrong!” I kept her close to me, even though she was fighting. “I left because my cousin showed up and needed my help. He found my mother livin’ in a crack house. I left so we could go and fetch her to take her ass to rehab.”
Sky just stared at me. “I saw Ashley the next day. I know you hooked up. Do you know how gross that is?”
I let go of her, but she didn’t walk away. Instead, she stood there waiting for me to explain. “You wouldn’t understand the situation with my mom. She left us when we were kids so she could live on the streets and do drugs. My whole family got ripped apart because of her. I didn’t want to find her, or to help her. Shayne forced my hand and by the time I got back to my place, I just wanted to drown myself in alcohol. I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you bein’ in that motel. Ashley took advantage of me when I was weak. I didn’t sleep with her because I wanted her. I slept with her because I wanted her to be you.”
She put her hands across her chest. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
I threw my hands in the air. “I don’t know, Sky.”
“She said that I didn’t owe you anything for my car because I paid you with my body. Did you say that?”
I reached for her hand, but she pulled away. “When we were together, did I ever act like I wasn’t into you? The things that we did, I don’t do that with other women. Ashley lied to you, because she knew it would send you packin’. She thought she’d have a chance if you were out of the picture.”
“We weren’t even a couple!” She argued.
“But we could have been.”
“You made it clear that wasn’t an option!” Sky looked away and I could see in her eyes that she was upset. “When we met I was running away with a broken heart, but when you left me in that Motel room, I was devastated. I’ve thought about what I wanted to say to you for so long. Now that I’m here with you, I can’t even find the words.”
“So, that’s it?”
She started to walk away. “I gu
ess so.”
“Well, it ain’t over for me.” I grabbed her into my arms, spinning her around and pressing my lips against hers. I didn’t know whether she was going to slap me again or not, but I just had to feel those lips one more time.
Chapter 15
Skylar
If having a panic attack meant it was hard to breathe and my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest then that was what was happening to me. For days and even weeks I had thought about this beautiful man standing in front of me. I thought I’d never see him again.
As much as I felt like there were things that needed to be cleared up, I couldn’t fight the passion of him kissing me. My knees became weak and nothing else in the world seemed to matter. It had to be the fact that I missed him, because this kiss was even better than all of the others that we’d shared before. Even when he pulled away, he didn’t move his lips all the way off of mine. I could feel them moving as he spoke. “You drove all this way to go on a blind date?”
I pulled away a little further and smiled. “I moved back home. My parent’s house is only an hour from the beach. It’s about an hour from you.”
I could tell that my moving closer confused him. “Ford, I didn’t come and see you because I thought you were back with your girlfriend, and frankly, I thought that you used me.”
“Only two people know what happened between us and that’s me and you, Sky. Have you thought about me the way that I’ve thought about you? Do you go to bed hopin’ to dream about me and wake up with me still on your mind, because that’s how it is for me.” He backed away from me and scratched his head. “My life is so fucked up. It’s worse than when you first met me, but one thing has made me able to smile each day.”
He reached for my hand and I didn’t pull it away. “What is it?”
Repair Me Page 13
