"Leave Stevenson to me," Xavier said after some time. "Perhaps I can keep him at bay. Then you'll have the winter to fix your things. Maybe together, come spring, the zombie issue will be cured for good."
"And until then?" Hans asked.
"You will save Thad. Any other problems will be dealt with—through our help—afterwards."
"And the heart?" Hans asked. "You know where to find one?"
"Not quite, but, we know where you can get one and you won't be caught."
Lucinda slid a map of a cemetery across the table, her gaze serious. Grave robbing. Of course. Hans had already studied this map all afternoon, hoping he could find the most recent body to experiment on. Now he already knew where to go.
"For once," he said. "I'm ahead of the game. Let me lead this time."
Chapter Nine
"So how is this going to work?" Joan asked. She shucked a load of dirt over her shoulders. "We find a heart from someone who has recently died, and then... we give it to Thad?"
"I wish it were that simple," Hans said. He stood a foot away from Joan, digging in the same area. Therese was three graves away from them, digging up yet another one.
These three were the most recently buried, according to Hans and Lucinda's calculations based on soil temperative and colour. Hans didn't want to think about what would happen if all three didn't work. They had only six more hours to work.
"So what do you do?" Therese asked, only slightly out of breath. Carrying loads of laundry to the families in the neighbourhood had apparently prepared her well.
"Even if we found the perfect heart to match Thad's, we can't simply swap it out. The body would reject it. But the body doesn't reject machine parts. It sees it as something that can evolve along with it. So we have to make the heart half mechanical and half fleshy."
"And that will work?"
"I think so. That's what we've been doing with the body so far. Half machine, half flesh. And they still work. Even for something as important as a heart, I believe it will work. Far better than if it was a pure mechanical heart alone." Hans shucked another pile of dirt.
A hollow noise sounded against Hans's shovel as he struck the casket. He let out a relieved breath. No more awkward conversation about whether or not it would work. What Ifs were too big to consider right now. Especially since he'd just witnessed a man who had staved off infection for five years, when most people didn't last five days, What Ifs seemed wholly irrelevant.
"I've got something," Hans said.
Another hollow sound occurred. "Me, too!" Joan called.
"And me," Therese said. "Got the casket in sight."
"Good," Hans said. "So we will all unearth our findings together."
Hans dug around the casket using the shovel until he couldn't do it anymore. Then he used his hands to cup the dirt and push it back. When he lifted off the front, he tried not to stare at the corpse's face too much. The man was older, maybe forty. Died of natural causes; at least, there were no evident wounds or sores on him. Hans undid his shirt and brushed off the dirt to reveal the pale white skin over his rib cage. Hans withdrew a knife that Xavier had loaned him for this exact purpose. The blade was hooked, so as soon as Hans punctured the flesh, he could snap the ribcage open as well. As he opened up his chest, the stench of decay overwhelmed him.
"Oh, no," he groaned.
"Not good?" Therese stood above him. Dirt marked her face and her dress.
"I don't think so." Hans cracked the ribs back further so he could find the heart. A dark red organ, smaller than he expected, stared back at him. Before he could slice into it, a worm crawled out of a ventricle. He jumped back, striking the dirt walls that surrounded him.
"Mine did the same," Therese said. "No good."
Hans huffed. Two for two. "What about Joan?"
"I require a doctor," Joan said. "And maybe a priest."
"What the...?"
Therese reached down and helped Hans out of the grave and they both rushed to Joan's side. She was as pale as a sheet and in the corner of the grave. The body in her casket had been split in two, from chin to waist, her insides on the outside.
"What on earth happened?" Therese asked.
"I don't know—but get me outta here."
Therese reached a hand down and helped Joan out of the grave, then pressed her face into her chest as she comforted her. Hans glanced at the tombstone. The woman's name on the records for the cemetery was Rebeckah Thompson. He saw now that she had been born a Lacko. "This is Thad's family. His sister. There was no way this is a coincidence."
"How so?"
"Whoever gave us Thad as bait knew that we'd have to go out searching for a heart, right? He'd been staked. So the only relative he had around was also ransacked? And she's his sister, who apparently died recently? That's too much of a coincidence."
Joan furrowed her brow. She ran her hand along the dirt around the grave itself. "I thought it had been dug up rather soon when I started. I figured it was just a very new grave."
"This is Stevenson. He's anticipating my move and he's making sure I don't succeed, but instead look like an insane, wretched—"
"Shhh." Therese pressed a finger to Hans's mouth. It tasted like dirt. He shook his head.
"I can't do this. I can't think about this right now. If we don't find a heart, Thad's going to die."
"Not die. You can make him a mechanical heart. Even if he can't fall in love, he'll at least be around."
"What life is there if not for love?"
Therese sighed. Even she couldn't make that argument. All three of them slumped in the dirt, their next move now a blank before them. Hans had no timepiece on him, but he knew that another hour, maybe two, had passed. Their time was running out. By four in the morning, Thad would cease to be. Hans would still be kicked out for the school. And maybe the flowers wouldn't even bloom.
"I know what I have to do," Hans said.
"What?" Therese's eyes were bright.
"My heart. I'll give him half of mine."
Therese and Joan gasped. They clasped one another's hands. "Are you sure? Is that even possible? With you coming out alive in the end?"
Hans shrugged. "Maybe it is. Maybe it's not. But I'll also know what it's like. I'll have died, too, and I can attest that it will be possible."
"Are you ready to put all of your findings on yourself like that?" Joan asked.
"If I can't, then I shouldn't benefit from the prestige."
Joan and Therese didn't say anything for a long, long time. As the moon shifted in the sky, Therese grabbed his hand in her free one.
"If you're sure, then I think Lucinda will do the surgery. She's the only one I'd trust with this."
Hans nodded. "I'm starting to think I can only count on one hand the people I can trust."
"As long as I'm one of them and Joan is, too, then you don't need much else," Therese said. "But we have to go now. Come on, hurry."
Chapter Ten
"It means dying," Lucinda stated. "On the table. For a minute or so as I transfer your heart out and attach the mechanical parts. Then there's no telling what will happen with Thad."
"I know," Hans said again. The words felt heavy in his mouth. He always knew everything. Even the moral philosophy he was forced to teach started to wear its way into his brain. He'd always know the risks, but he also knew the right thing to do.
Lucinda narrowed her eyes at him. When she wore the magnifiers like she was at that moment, her pupils seemed far away. He was on the same table the patient had been on earlier that night. An hour ago, while Lucinda and Xavier prepared Hans, Joan and Therese retrieved Thad from the house, cleaned him in the small tub they had in the back of the pub normally used for potatoes, and then cleaned Hans as well. Water still clung to the back of Hans's neck. He was naked under his gown, much like Thad was on an adjacent table. No one was in the waiting room but himself, Lucinda, and Thad.
There were only two hours left on the clock. Lucinda said the operation would
take at least an hour. They were counting seconds like gems.
"I know," Hans repeated. "I'm willing to do this. Dying doesn't scare me."
Lucinda laughed. "All right. Spoken like a true doctor."
"What do you mean?"
"Doctors can't be afraid of death or else they'd never do any work whatsoever. If I was afraid of death, I could never see blood because I'd think that too much blood loss would lead to death, and I would become paralyzed. I can't think of death when I operate, or my patients will lose that spark of life."
Hans nodded. He always thought the fear of death motivated him. He worked so people didn't have to face the nothingness; he worked so he didn't have to see zombies, again and again, wandering outside in the outer lands, moaning and reminding him that one day, he could die. But maybe Lucinda was right. Maybe not fearing death was what made him a good doctor, and from here on in, he could do good work.
"So what do you think of, then? When you operate?"
"I think of the person's name." Lucinda smiled.
"And after this," Hans asked, "what will happen to me?"
"If it works, you will be half-human and half-machine. You won't live forever, but I've never seen an infected person with half machine parts. And you'll probably live longer. Same with Thad."
"That's good." He cast a glance at Thad on the table next to him. His curly hair expanded, fluffier now that it had been washed. He still saw specs of sand over his ears and down on his neck. Hans wondered if Thad would taste like the ocean.
The sound of running water startled him. Lucinda cleaned her arms up to the elbow, then dried them off. The metal casting that Hans had made for the heart earlier in the night was on the table next to her equipment. He'd already given her a dozen lessons on how to implant them. There was nothing left to say.
"Can I see Therese one last time?" Hans asked. "And Joan?"
Lucinda sighed.
"It's not because I don't think you'll do a good job. I just... want to see them."
"I understand. I just can't open the door after I've washed up. X!" she cried out rather loudly. After a moment, Xavier appeared. Therese and Joan pushed in soon afterwards. They kissed Hans's head and mouth and held his hand.
"If this doesn't work..." Therese started, but Hans stopped her.
"I'll plant flowers for you instead," Joan finished for her.
Hans could only nod.
"Is this it?" Lucinda asked. "Because we have to start soon."
"Just one more request," Hans said. "Does anyone have music? I want to hear that song I like."
Lucinda sighed again, but she gestured towards a shelving unit by the bar counter. Therese took out the gramophone and set the needle.
"You two can't stay," Lucinda said when the song was over. "As much as I want you to."
Therese and Joan nodded. They waved at him once and then shut the door.
"They'll have a drink with Xavier," Lucinda said. She pulled her materials to her side. The clatter was so loud it almost drowned out the tune of the next song on the gramophone. "Then when you wake up, you can have a drink, too."
Hans glanced to the body. He wondered if the limbo state of being dead-but-not-dead was like the outer lands, or if it was more like music. Without a body and without conscious thoughts, he could be a tune that rattled on again and again.
Lucinda held up a glass that she'd dissolved a chemical mixture inside. "Until you see them again, you'll have a drink with me. Swallow up and count to ten. You won't feel or remember a thing."
Hans did as he was told. The bitter liquid hit the back of his throat. His eyelids dropped. He started to count and reached thirteen before everything was black.
Chapter Eleven
When Hans woke, his chest felt as if it had been torn in two. He saw the image of Rebeckah Lacko inside her casket, her heart ripped from her chest along with her ribcage, split like the Red Sea. Hans wanted to throw up, but all he could do was gag. He tried to sit up, but his chest hurt too much.
"Now, now. Slow down. Take it easier."
Xavier's voice: deep, but petulant. A strong hand clapped his back. Hans heard the jangling of keys, then silence. When Xavier smacked him again, Hans realized the jangling sound had come from himself.
"My heart..."
"Is right here," Xavier said. He touched the top of the bandage on Hans's body just below his neck and trailed down to the centre of his chest. Xavier didn't push too hard with his finger, as if he could sense how painful everything was. He picked up another drink from the countertop and handed it to Hans.
"Don't tell Lucinda I'm giving this to you without her. But you need it. You deserve it."
"Everything went well, then?" Hans asked.
"Oh yeah. You're solid, as you can tell. Right? Everything works a-okay?"
Hans shrugged. Everything hurt. He wondered if he'd ever get to feel anything else other than pain. He took a long drink from his glass. The alcohol made his skin feel tingly, like the very first sensation of being in love.
In love. He remembered what that felt like. He also remembered the blankness he'd been given when he died. It was like night-time, looking up in the stars overhead, or looking into the bottom of an ocean as waves cracked against the water. Ragged, overwhelming. Death was never-ending. But it wasn't mean or out to get him. It was just there.
And he wasn't there anymore. Each aspect of the back room at the bar became clearer and clearer in front of him. There was no blood. Everything was bone dry. Even his own chest seemed as if it had nothing inside of it but the organs and the machine parts.
"I am alive, right?" Hans asked. "And If I'm alive, that means he is, too?"
"Yes, yes, and he's waiting for you."
"What time is it?"
"Six in the morning. Almost dawn in a little while. They even say it will snow today," Xavier said. "Your girls are sleeping with Lucinda in the upstairs room. Just me, you, and Thad. And I can disappear, you know, when you meet him."
Hans nodded. The alcohol hit his bloodstream and made him feel woozy on top of tingly. Which meant that he had a bloodstream. Which meant that his body still worked. He could remember what love was like, and he cared about Thad, so maybe there was hope for him, too.
With Xavier's help, Hans stepped down from the table. He clung onto his arm as he walked towards the front of the pub. Hans was still hanging off of Xavier when he saw the back of Thad's head.
Thad sat at one of the round tables in front of the pub, facing out towards the street. Between the two buildings ahead of the pub and through the soundproof booths was the zigzag pattern barricade. Beyond that, the undead explored the green hills. If Hans strained his ears, he could hear the zombies mewling and getting trapped on the wire or shot by the watch guards.
When Hans rounded the corner of the bar, Thad glanced up. His eyes flickered across Xavier's face with some recognition, then to Hans's. He stared at him for what seemed to be an interminable amount of time. Hans was struck by how deep brown and full of life Thad's eyes were. They nailed Hans in place. And for a moment, Hans thought Therese was wrong. All too wrong. You could fall in love with a look. Because he did right at that moment, over and over again.
He only hoped Thad felt the same way.
When Thad finally turned back to his meal, he examined his food as if he was no longer hungry. He raised the sandwich to his mouth and chewed as he continued to watch the windows.
"I will leave you two alone," Xavier said.
"But what about...?"
"Doctor Stevenson?" Xavier smiled wide. "He had a visit from me last night. We had a drink, talked some stuff out. And let's say, he'll wake up on a new boat. Going to a new world. With maybe a few unexpected guests. Really, the less you all know, the better."
Hans nodded. "Thank you."
"Not at all." Xavier tipped an invisible hat with a broad smile on his face. He exited through the back door, possibly back to the bar to continue drinking. Hans knew there was more to the story with St
evenson and the school, but he wasn't concerned with that right now. He turned back to Thad and approached the table next to him. Thad's sullen expression seemed even more so up close, but Hans didn't let that stop him.
"Hello," he greeted.
Thad grunted. Rough, sounded like air, as if he still wasn't quite sure what to do with his voice.
"How are you doing today?" Hans asked.
Nothing. Hans worried his lip. When Thad raised his gaze to meet his again, Hans's heart skipped a beat—and the gears lodged. He had to smack his chest for it to start again. Pain bloomed underneath his chest, but it wasn't as bad as it had been only moments earlier. Either Hans was adjusting to the pain, or his body was adapting to the machines inside of it. Either way, the machines caught up. His desire and affection still flourished, even if he was half-mechanical. Even if he had once been dead.
Thad watched Hans actions closely but still didn't say anything. When Hans's heart sunk, he knew it wasn't a mechanical failure. Alas, he knew this option was a possibility. Doomed to walk the earth with only half a heart, the mechanics of his own short-circuiting. At least, he figured, I won't be eaten by the undead. I am no good to anyone now.
"Well, Thaddeus, my name is Hans. You may have some questions for me, but if not, then I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. Xavier and Lucinda can answer any technical questions you have, since they performed the bulk of the labour. You're free to go back to wherever you want. Like the ocean. You should be free from infection now, so you can play in the water however long you want."
With another weak smile, Hans rose from his seat. Each motion felt like sifting through sand. Before Hans could turn the corner of the kitchen, Thad called out to him.
"They tell me you gave me your heart."
"I did. Well, half my heart."
"Why?
Hans opened his mouth, about to say there were no other suitable ones, when he decided to tell the truth—for the first time since his lecture in front of Bethany University, consequences be damned. "I did because I thought you were beautiful."
Thirteen Hours Page 5
