by Barbara Goss
Edgar Sr. spoke up. “The house is like new—how is it the barn is so old?”
“Another family lived on this land long ago, before I came here and bought it,” Hugh said. “I preferred the lot on the west side, since it had a creek running through it for my sheep. The barn was here when I bought the land. A few old-timers claim there was a house on the other side of the barn, it burned down and the family moved away.”
“If you need meat, we could slaughter you a lamb,” Ned offered.
“That’s very kind of you,” Ethel said. “But the root cellar is pretty well stocked. I think we’ll be all right, at least for as long as we’ll be here.”
“Where’s Edgar now?” Hugh asked.
“With Simon Hinckley, the undertaker. Your minister kindly helped us with that. He’ll be viewed all day tomorrow.”
They talked for an hour with the Randolphs, Edgar’s sister, Natalie, didn’t say too much—she just kept crying into her handkerchief. Ned wished he knew her better so he could embrace her and try to make her feel better. She was a pretty woman of about twenty-eight or so. Edgar Sr. was a huge man, with a belly to match. They were all down-home friendly, just like Edgar.
Hugh and Ned told the family fond stories of their relationship with Edgar, which the family seemed to enjoy hearing.
Finally, Hugh and Ned stood. “Will we see you at church tomorrow?” Hugh asked.
“If we can find it, we’ll be there,” Esther said.
“We’ll stop by and show you the way. How’s that?” Hugh asked.
“That would be wonderful,” Edgar Sr. said.
“Don’t forget: if you need anything, just ask,” Hugh reminded them.
“There is one thing you could do for us,” Ethel said. “If you’re serious about helping, that is.”
“Anything,” Ned said.
“Natalie needs to go into town to wire her husband that she’s arrived safely. He’s a doctor with surgeries and sick people to tend to so he couldn’t make the trip. I’m afraid we wouldn’t know where the wire office was located.”
“I’d be happy to take you, Natalie,” Ned said, standing. “Would you like to go now?”
She nodded. “Yes, thank you.” It was the most she’d said since they’d arrived.
“I rode my horse here. I’ll ride it home and come back with our buggy. It won’t take me long at all.”
“The buggy we rented is all hitched; you can take that,” Edgar Sr. said.
“All right. Let’s go then,” he said to Natalie. To her parents, he said, “I’ll have her back in no time.”
It was a quiet ride into town, but for Natalie sniffing into her handkerchief. She and Edgar must have been close. Ned didn’t know what to say, but he was thankful for the diversion to take his mind off his own problems.
He stopped the buggy in front of the newspaper office, where the telegraph office was located at the front of the building. He escorted Natalie in. The telegraph area was empty. There was a sign hanging on the window saying, “Out to Lunch.”
“Sorry, Natalie. We’ll have to wait. Would you prefer to wait in here or out in the buggy?”
“The buggy,” she said.
Ned escorted her back to the buggy. Now the silence became more awkward.
“Were you and Edgar close?” he asked her.
“Very close. He was two years older than I and…” she dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.” He was always there for me.” Her voice broke as she spoke.
Ned took a risk and reached for her hand to hold in his. “I’m so sorry. I loved Edgar, too. The one thing we can be thankful for is that we know he’s in heaven. He was a God-fearing man.” Ned gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go.
“I can’t say I know how you feel because I was only ten when my parents died, and I was too young to recall much, but I was more confused than grieving.”
Natalie nodded. “Thank you for bringing me here and waiting with me.”
“I’m proud to do something for Edgar’s sister. I wish I could do more.”
“You’re very kind. Are you married? Is there a wife at home, waiting for you?” she asked.
“No, not yet. I’ve had a few close calls, though.”
“I’m sorry. Marriage is such a wonderful institution. I love being married, but I do wish Jonathan were home more. He’s a prominent doctor in Independence. We have an eight- month-old baby boy named…” she sniffed into her handkerchief, “…named Edgar. My brother was supposed to visit us next month for his christening.”
“He’ll be there in spirit,” Ned said. “I know he will.”
“I just wish Jonathan had been able to come with me,” she said. “He’s my strength and without him, I feel so vulnerable, so weak and emotional. When he puts his arm around me, I feel so secure.”
Ned didn’t know what to say to that. Thankfully, the telegrapher walked into the building and removed the sign at that moment and Ned escorted Natalie inside again.
She sent her husband a wire, paid for it, and then she turned to him, and he led her back to the buggy.
When they reached Edgar’s place he stopped the buggy and helped her down from it.
“I wish there were a way to thank you for helping me,” she said.
Ned looked at her and got an idea. It was a mischievous idea, and he smiled at her.
“Actually, there is one small favor you could do for me,” he said, still grinning. “I just returned from England today and the girl I’m fond of had promised to wait for me, but she didn’t. My uncle informed me someone else is courting her. Since we’re leading you to church tomorrow, might we arrange to sit together? Maybe if she sees me with someone, she’ll…I don’t know. Maybe she’ll feel a bit jealous, kind of like what I’m feeling now.”
“It would be my pleasure. We were probably going to end up sitting with you and your uncle anyway, since we don’t know anyone else,” Natalie said. “I’ll even hide my left hand so she won’t see my rings.”
Ned put out his hand to shake, but instead, she gave him a light hug. “Thank you so much, not only for taking me to town, but also for being my brother’s friend.” She turned and went into the house.
Ned rode home, feeling somewhat better. He wondered what Maria would think when she saw him with an attractive woman in church.
Chapter Twelve
Vera opened the church door for Maria. “Are you meeting Wade here this morning?”
“I’m not sure. He said if he wasn’t in the foyer to go on ahead and he’d find us,” Maria answered.
“Well, then, we’ll sit near the back so he’ll see us.” Vera led Maria to a seat in the last row in the main aisle. “He should see us easily here.”
“Do you like him any better, Mother?” Maria whispered.
Vera patted her hand. “He’s all right. I just had my hopes on someone else for you. I’m somewhat disappointed, but I’ll get over it. I like Wade, I suppose. He’s a nice young man.
Maria returned her mother’s smile. Her hopes had been pinned on someone else as well. Wade was kind, considerate, and a perfect gentleman, but he wasn’t Ned. She missed Ned, but wished him every happiness.
She glanced up at the newcomers as they walked down the aisle, and her heart began to thump wildly at the sight of Ned. She didn’t recognize anyone else except Hugh, Vera and Ned. The woman Ned was with must be Ellen. She smiled up at him and he smiled back. They look so happy, she sighed and suddenly felt like crying.
Her mother patted her hand. “I’m so sorry, Maria.”
Maria blinked rapidly to stay her tears. “As long as he’s happy.”
Just before the first hymn, Wade slid in beside her and they exchanged smiles.
After the sermon, the minister announced the death of Edgar Randolph and Wade gasped. She turned to him and asked, “Did you know him?”
Wade nodded with a solemn look.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
The minister announced the funeral would b
e the following day, and that those who wished to pay their respects could stop at the Randolph home all that day.
Wade turned to her and whispered, “I won’t be able to take you for that buggy ride today. I have to pay my respects.”
“I understand. It’s fine,” Maria answered.
“Do you want to accompany me? I’d have to go alone because my folks are in Topeka.”
“I really don’t like wakes, but I’ll go with you, if you’d like,” she said. “I didn’t know the man, so it won’t be as bad as if it were someone I’d loved. Wakes always bring back the memories of my father’s passing.”
As church let out and the congregation stood around talking, she got a good look at Ned’s new wife. She looked older than Maria had pictured but extremely pretty. She watched her put her arm through Ned’s as they walked from the church. She sighed. Well, she still had Wade, but he didn’t make her heart beat faster, nor did his touch make her tingle. Each night, she prayed God would let her feel the same for Wade that she had for Ned.
Wade was different than Ned in so many ways, and yet so much like him in others. He hadn’t kissed her yet, except for on her hand. So far, their affection for each other had only been expressed through the holding and squeezing of hands. Wade was a bit shorter than Ned, with reddish-brown hair, and eyes as gray as the sky before a storm. He wasn’t as fit as Ned because he had a desk job at the hotel. It didn’t do much to build muscle, and his hands were as soft and smooth as hers. Wade came from a rather large family. What she liked best about him was his easy-going personality; nothing seemed to bother him. He actually served as a calming influence on Maria who’d been nervous and jittery as of late, mostly about Ned’s return to Hays with his new bride.
There were about twenty buggies and ten horses parked in front of the Randolph place when Wade and Maria arrived. A dismal thought struck Maria as they walked to the front door—would Ned and Ellen be there?
The sitting room was crowded and overflowed into the dining room where Maria and Wade stood, waiting for their turn to pay their respects.
When they finally moved into the sitting room, she spotted Ned and Ellen seated near the casket. He had his arm around her, rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm as she wept. He bent close to her, saying soothing things to her. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she thought it odd that Ellen should be crying. How could she have possibly known the deceased?
As the woman Ned was comforting raised her handkerchief to her eyes, Ellen noted the overly large diamond ring on her finger. It had to be extremely expensive. Wherever would Ned get that kind of money?
Wade introduced her to Edgar’s parents and they expressed their sympathies. Maria averted her eyes from the casket. She couldn’t look because she knew that if she did, she’d see her father in there instead of Edgar.
Edgar’s mother walked Wade and Maria over to Ned and Ellen and Maria felt a hot flush flow through her body. How awkward this was.
Mrs. Randolph introduced Edgar’s daughter, Natalie, just as Ned removed his arm from around her.
Natalie! It wasn’t Ellen? Ned hadn’t bought her those rings? If Ned were married, where was Ellen? Mrs. Randolph was explaining about Natalie’s husband’s absence, but Maria’s mind was still searching for answers. She hadn’t made eye contact with Ned at all—she just couldn’t.
“You’ve probably both met Ned, haven’t you?”
Wade shook Ned’s hand. “We grew up together. Nice to see you, Ned.”
Maria was glad she hadn’t told Wade how close the friendship between herself and Ned had been or it would have been awkward for him as well.
Mrs. Randolph pulled Natalie to her feet. “Natalie, dear, there are some people over here I want you to meet. Excuse us, please.”
If Maria thought it was awkward before, it just got immeasurably worse.
Wade waved to someone across the room and said to Maria, “I’ll be right back. Wait for me here.”
Before Wade could even turn to leave, Ned remarked loudly, “She isn’t very good at waiting, Wade. You’d better take her with you.”
Maria felt suddenly dizzy at his remark. She finally looked at Ned, knowing her face was probably pale and wore a look of disbelief on it, but then Wade pulled her away. “Then I’ll take her with me,” he said.
Maria was relieved that Wade had a hold of her waist because she suddenly felt faint. He bent down and whispered, “What was all that about?”
“I’ll tell you later,” she whispered back.
He led her to a group of men about his age, one of which was Peter Balcomb. She pulled back when she saw him. “I need some fresh air, Wade. I’ll wait for you outside.”
On her way out, she spotted Travis and Evaline in the crowd, but all she wanted was to get outside and breathe in some fresh air.
Ned and Hugh went to the Randolphs’ place right after church. They were the first to arrive. Hugh sat on one side of the casket with Edgar’s parents and Ned sat on the other side with Natalie.
Their housekeeper, Helena, had made a whole stack of little sandwiches that she’d packed into a box for the men to take to the family.
“Do you suppose your friend saw us together this morning in church?” she asked.
“I’m sure of it. Her face turned as white as the satin in Edgar’s coffin,” he said.
“Glad I could help. I hope you eventually win her, Ned,” she said.
“Since she’s being courted by a friend of mine, I rather doubt that. Wade doesn’t work in sheep dung, or have to do dirty farm work—he’s a hotel clerk, and a much better catch for her.”
“Are you praying?” she asked. “I couldn’t get Jonathan to notice me at all. He worked with pretty nurses all day, and I was only a nursing aide. I prayed so hard that he’d finally notice me and one day, I dropped a whole stack of patient records. I thought it was the most horrible thing to have happen. All of those files were mixed together on the floor, and it would have taken me weeks to straighten them all out. While I was kneeling and trying to scoop them up, he bent down to assist me. He saw my tears of frustration and offered to help me sort them out. We picked up all the records and he led me to his office where we worked for three hours on those records. Then he asked me to dinner. My prayers had been answered.”
“I haven’t yet prayed because I’ve been so angry. She said she’d wait for me, and she didn’t,” Ned said.
“Talk to her, Ned. Maybe she had a good reason.”
“Maybe I should, I suppose.”
“Once, when Edgar was in school, he had a crush on my best friend, Becky,” Natalie said. “He was mad for her, but she wouldn’t give him the time of day.” She started to cry into her handkerchief. In between sobs she said, “I don’t think he ever got over Becky.”
Ned felt so helpless. He Instinctively put his arm around her and rubbed her arm. “His heart isn’t aching anymore. He’s at peace, now. Please, don’t cry. I feel so helpless because I don’t know how to help you.”
“You just have,” she sniffed. “You made me feel secure with your arm around me, like Jonathan does. God bless you, Ned.”
He wiped one of her tears from her cheek. “I feel like you could be my own sister because Edgar and I were that close. He was my closest friend, except for Travis, that is.”
“He’d be pleased,” she said.
Ned looked up to see Wade and Maria standing in front of them. Edgar’s mother was introducing them to Natalie. His game had ended—Maria would know Natalie wasn’t with him or that they were romantically involved.
Maria looked pale and she refused to meet his eyes, which he could understand. She was ashamed that she’d broken her promise to him.
He didn’t feel hurt or heartbroken—he felt angry, and he itched for a way to express it. When Wade asked her to wait for him, he couldn’t resist making the snide remark, which made him feel vindicated.
In bed that night, Ned thought about the events of the day, and even though
he felt angry with Maria, his fickle heart still shifted in his chest when he thought about her walking up to where he was sitting at the wake. He realized he’d had two reasons for saying she wasn’t good at waiting, although it was somewhat rude. First, was to let out his anger, and the second, to finally see her blue eyes look at him.
Maybe Natalie was right. He supposed it was time for him to communicate his feelings and let her express hers. They needed to get their feelings out into the open if they planned to live in the same town. They’d be running into each other from time to time, so it made sense to settle things.
He almost regretted having gone to England, yet if he hadn’t, he’d probably have carried a torch for the she-devil for the rest of his life. Going there and seeing her in her own surroundings had helped him get over any feelings he’d ever had for her. Maria had been right to urge him to go and settle things, but why hadn’t she waited? He couldn’t get his head around it. Maria just wasn’t the fickle type—or had he been wrong about her as well?
The one kiss they’d shared hadn’t set him on fire but had felt comfortable. His body had reacted to Maria in a whole different way. It was his heart that she affected most, rather than just the other part of him, and he knew that was the way it should be. Passion only lasted so long. He remembered their minister had once said in a sermon that the wild passion between a couple only lasts so long, and a couple had better have something more between them than that. He’d forgotten those words until now.
How might he go about setting up a time and place to talk to Maria? He tossed and turned in bed thinking up one scenario after another, but dismissed them all. After what he’d said to Wade at the Randolph’s, she’d no doubt not even answer the door if he were to visit. Writing her a letter wouldn’t work; she’d probably mark it ‘return to sender.’ As he thought of other ways to get Maria to talk, he slowly drifted off to sleep.
