by Barbara Goss
He and Hugh did some work out in the shed and the barn, since most of the snow that had fallen while he was gone had melted. It was too early to do much yet, since it was still winter and they were bound to get more snow. Their winter duties were light, but they’d be back to long hours come spring. Christmas had come and gone, but he hadn’t been able to get into the spirit that year.
After he’d cleaned up, he decided to visit Travis. He’d seen him only briefly at the wake and hadn’t had a chance to talk with him. Ned saddled his horse and rode out to Travis’s place.
He found Travis, Robert, and Evaline sitting at the breakfast table. They greeted him and invited him to sit down and have coffee with them.
“Are you hungry, Travis?” Evaline asked. “I can get you some breakfast.”
“No, I’ve eaten already, but I’d sure love a cup of coffee.”
“If you’ll excuse me,” Robert said, “I need to write a few letters. Nice to see you, Ned.” He left the room. Ned thought Robert knew that Ellen’s name would come up in the conversation and he didn’t want to be involved.
Evaline poured him a cup of coffee and passed him the cream and sugar. “How did you find England?” she asked him.
“I didn’t care for it,” he said before gingerly sipping his hot coffee. “And I didn’t care for Ellen either, after seeing how she treated the servants.” He couldn’t tell her about the intimate advances—that wouldn’t be right. He’d thought Evaline might frown and scold him for what he’d said about Ellen, but instead, she smiled and exchanged a knowing look with Travis.
“What?” Ned asked. He wanted to know why they were giving each other looks.
“Ned,” Travis said, “Evaline predicted you’d have that very reaction to Ellen.”
Looking at Evaline, Ned asked sternly, “Why didn’t you tell me? I had to cross the ocean to find that out?”
“Ned, calm down,” Travis warned against the tone Ned had taken toward his wife. “We both decided it best you find out for yourself. Think about it: you were so head over heels you’d never have believed us.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry for the attitude, Evaline,” he said, squeezing her hand.
She patted the hand on her own. “It’s all right. I know it was a letdown for you.”
“That doesn’t begin to describe what I went through in England. All the way home, all I could think about was Maria and how I couldn’t wait to tell her I didn’t love Ellen after all. Then my uncle informed me Maria was being courted by Wade.”
“We were both surprised,” Travis said, “and under the impression she cared for you, and that was the reason she urged you to travel to England and discover what your real feelings were.”
Ned looked at Travis. “I also think you should know your friend, Peter Balcomb, made inappropriate advances toward Maria and I had to pick him up and toss him to get him away from her.”
“What?” Travis asked. “When was this?”
“Before I left for England. I hadn’t seen Maria in a few days,” Ned explained, “and when I went over to see her, Vera told me she was on a buggy ride with Balcomb. No sooner had I digested that, then we heard a loud scream for help. I ran outside and he was accosting Maria in his buggy. I threw him out by the collar and he wasn’t happy. Why, the scum had the nerve to threaten me. He said, ‘I’ll get you for this.’” Ned’s hand formed into fists just talking about it.
“So, he hasn’t changed one bit,” Travis said. “I’m cutting off all contact with him. I don’t want a friend who’d do that to any woman. I wouldn’t worry about his threat—he was probably just covering for his embarrassment.”
“I’m not worried. I have too many other things to fret about,” Ned admitted.
“What’s wrong?” Evaline asked. “Is there some way we can help?”
Ned sighed. “I don’t think so. I’m sick over Edgar’s passing. I’ll miss him. Then there’s Maria. I realized while I was in England that it was Maria all along for me. I couldn’t wait to come home and ask to court her properly. I lay in bed so many nights on the ship, wondering if she’d be glad to see me when I returned, and how long I’d have to court her before I could ask her to marry me, and then to come home to this.”
“We’re sorry, Ned,” Travis said. “Have you spoken to her at all since you’ve been home?”
“No. The only time I’ve seen her, she’s been with Wade. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Wade, and I’m glad she’s picked someone decent, at least, but I just wish…” Ned finished his coffee and set it down. “I wish I could find a way to talk to her without Wade.”
“I could arrange that,” Evaline said.
Travis shook his head. “Sweetheart, do you think that’s wise?”
“I do. They just need a good talk, is all. Obviously, something happened between the time Ned left to the time he returned. I don’t see Maria as a fickle person—they need to talk.”
“Well,” Travis said, “leave me out of it.”
“I’ll invite her to tea tomorrow, about two in the afternoon. My father is going to Victoria for the day to visit his friend, Geoffrey Grandville. Can you stop by and pretend you’re looking for Travis?”
Ned nodded. “Then what?”
“Then I’ll go looking for Travis, and you and Maria can talk. I’ll be sure to stay away a good half an hour.”
“I like it,” Ned said.
All the way home, Ned practiced what he’d ask Maria and what he’d say to her.
Chapter Thirteen
On the ride over to the Grayson ranch, Ned still wondered how he might begin his conversation with Maria. Should he come right out and demand she tell him why she broke her promise to wait for him? Or should he pretend it didn’t matter one bit? If he did, it would certainly help save face if she told him she was in love with Wade. What puzzled him the most was that Maria just wasn’t the lying type. Maybe Wade was hard to resist or…oh, he didn’t know. He had no idea how he might begin the conversation with her. His stomach felt like wild butterflies were fluttering around in it just thinking about it. This meeting would give him his answer and he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it.
He tied his horse, went up to the front door, and knocked.
“Ned!” Evaline exclaimed. “What a surprise.”
“I…um…came to see Travis. Is he around?”
“Come on in.” She held the door open wide for him to enter. “He’s outside somewhere. I think I know where he is, if you’ll take a seat in the sitting room, I’ll run out and bring him in.”
Ned swallowed hard. “Thank you, Evaline.”
She threw on a cape, nodded toward the sitting room, and hustled out the door.
Ned stood in the kitchen, almost afraid to go into the sitting room. He supposed he’d better get started or Travis and Evaline will have returned before he had the chance to talk to her. He walked slowly through the dining room, and he was able to see into the sitting room through the archway, where Maria sat on the sofa gazing out of the window. There was a tea tray on the coffee table so he supposed she and Evaline had tea before he came. Had Evaline warned her he was coming? He took the final few steps into the sitting room. Maria turned toward him, gasped, and jumped up as if to run away. But rather than run, she simply stood there, staring at him.
The sight of her warmed his heart. He’d almost forgotten how beautiful she was, with her long, dark hair and big blue eyes. She was wearing a blue dress that made her eyes look even bluer.
“Hello, Maria,” he greeted her almost in a whisper. He was still unsure of how she might receive him.
She was still gaping at him, speechless.
“I’m sorry—would you like me to wait for Travis in the kitchen?”
“No,” she said. “Maybe I should leave. I’ve already been here a while.” She started to walk toward the dining room.
“Don’t go!” Ned practically shouted. He, then, wondered where those words had come from.
She turned slowly and said
, “Why?”
“I think we need a talk to smooth out the reason behind why we seem to be so awkward with one another. We were friends before. Why, can’t we be polite to each other now?”
She took a few steps back into the room. “You really have no idea?”
“I sincerely don’t know why.” When she sat at the far end of the sofa he said, “You promised to wait for me. What happened?”
“Wait? For a married man?” she asked.
“Who’s married? Didn’t you get my letter?”
“I did get your letter. It’s what made me stop waiting.”
“Why? I’m sorry if I didn’t make the letter romantic enough, but under the circumstances, our relationship was still too new,” he said. “I did say that I thought of you often.”
“That’s odd,” she said as if she thought he was lying. “That’s not what my letter said at all.”
“I don’t understand. Why did you say married man?” he asked. “Something is very wrong here.”
Maria sat down on the far side of the sofa, pulled her reticule from her arm, and pulled it open. She dug around in it before pulling out a crumpled ball of paper. “I carry this with me to remind myself of why I have to forget you.”
“Forget me? Why?” he asked.
She handed him the wadded up ball of paper.
He opened it carefully and gasped when he saw the handwriting. “I didn’t write this!”
“Then who did?” Maria asked.
Ned didn’t answer—he was too busy reading what Ellen had written; he had no doubt she had been the one to write it. When he finished reading, he laid the letter down on the coffee table. “Ellen wrote this,” he said, “I’m sure of it.”
He pulled a paper from his pocket.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“It’s the letter I wrote to you on the ship on the way home from England. I couldn’t mail it at sea, but I felt the need to express my feelings on paper. I thought that if things went well, I’d be able to give it to you personally.” He didn’t hand her the letter, but opened it and held it at a distance. “I don’t want you to read it. Just check what my handwriting looks like.”
“Why can’t I read it? It’s addressed to me.”
“Things have changed,” he said.
“Ellen wrote the letter that broke my heart?” she asked, looking confused.
He nodded. “I’m sure of it; I’d put nothing past her. I put a letter addressed to you, my uncle, and one for Travis in the box for the servant to mail. Ellen must have seen it, taken the letter meant for you, and written you one herself. She was so desperate to keep me that after a while, she even agreed to come back to Kansas.”
“Why did you refuse her?”
“After seeing Ellen in her own surroundings, I realized not only were we from different worlds, but our souls didn’t match, either. Because she’s Evaline’s sister, I refuse to say more. Suffice it to say; I finally saw things clearly. You were right in urging me to go to England to see for myself.”
“So I’ll never get to see that letter you wrote?” she asked.
Ned folded the letter carefully and put it back in his pocket.
“Why do you carry it around with you?” she asked.
“Because each time I pass the postal office in town I’m tempted to mail it. I have dual feelings about things. I’m not happy that Wade’s courting you. Part of me thought if I mailed the letter you’d feel guilty for not waiting for me. I thought you’d changed your mind about waiting for me. There’s a part of me that just wanted to get over it, and I thought if you read the letter while in love with Wade, I’d look like a lovesick calf, so I put off mailing it.”
“I thought you were married, and Wade made me feel good about myself again. We’ve never even kissed, but he’s been wonderful, taking me on buggy rides and to the eating-house. How was I to know the letter was a lie?” she asked.
Ned saw tears forming in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Ned,” she said, fumbling in her reticule for a handkerchief, but Ned was faster, and handed her a clean, white one from his breast pocket.
Ned moved closer to her and put his arm around her. “You know I can’t abide a woman crying. Please don’t.”
“I messed everything up. I really wanted…” Her voice broke and she resumed her sobbing.
“You wanted what?” he asked gently.
“Us.”
Ned’s heart raced. “Then we agree on something.”
“We do?” she asked, wiping her eyes.
“I want us more than anything,” he said. “I had to travel all the way to England to discover the fact, though.”
He pulled her into his arms. She clung to him and he embraced her tighter. “If I kiss you, will you scold me again?”
Maria shook her head.
Ned gently pushed her away from him enough to find her lips. They were salty, yet so sweet. They ended up kissing for a full three minutes before they both needed to come up for air.
Ned pulled her onto his lap and rocked her slowly. “I want us more than anything, Maria. May I court you properly?”
Maria suddenly pulled away. “Oh, no! What will I tell Wade? He’s been such a gentleman. I want you to court me, but I don’t know how to let him down.”
“I’ve known Wade for years. Would you like me to talk to him?” Ned asked, stroking her face gently.
Maria moved off his lap but sat closely beside him. “No, this is something I have to do. I’ll do it today.”
“Please do, because I can’t wait another day without seeing you, holding you, and kissing you.”
“Once again, we agree on something, Ned,” she said. “By the way, was today a setup?”
“Yes. Evaline’s idea,” he said.
“I wondered why she didn’t come back from looking for Travis. I was watching him talking to her by the barn when you came into the sitting room.”
“So, you didn’t tell Travis and Evaline that I’d married Ellen?”
“No, the letter said not to.”
“That’s right. It did. And you were honorable enough not to tell even though you were hurting. That tells me so much about you, Maria.”
“I was a mess for a few days after receiving the letter, but then decided that when you really care for someone, you want them to be happy, even if it’s not with you.”
“I think we may end up together, but I learned a good lesson about reckless proposals. I think we should go slowly, although I’m so happy to be back with you, that I’m tempted to do something reckless again, and I’m trying to restrain myself,” he said with a chuckle.
“Can I read the letter?” she asked.
Ned’s hand rubbed the pocket that held the letter. “I’ll give it to you to read when you’re alone, if that’s all right. I’ve revealed a lot in this letter and…well, it might be better if I weren’t around to see your reaction, is all.”
“I agree,” she said, holding out her hand.
Almost reluctantly, Ned pulled out the letter and put it in her hand.
“Can I call on you tomorrow? Maybe we could have dinner or something?”
“I’d love to. Wade is supposed to come over tonight to take me on a buggy ride, but I’ll tell him we need to talk and I’ll explain everything to him. I promise.”
“Well,” Ned said, “since Mr. and Mrs. Grayson didn’t return, I supposed we’ll have to take it upon ourselves to leave without saying goodbye to them.”
They walked toward the kitchen door. When they reached it, Maria turned to him and he pulled her close. “I’m so happy we’ve cleared things up,” he said.
He kissed her goodbye and they left the house hand in hand, parting only to mount their horses. When they reached the end of the lane, Ned pulled his horse as close to hers as he could and leaned over and kissed her again. “Until tomorrow,” he said.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Evaline and Travis smiling in the doorway of the barn.
As soo
n as Maria reached home, she went into her bedroom and ripped open the envelope addressed to her. She unfolded the paper and read:
Dear Maria,
I’m on my way home. Ellen’s father is with me. You were right about everything. I just needed to see Ellen in her own environment to realize she wasn’t the one for me. Since her father and sister are my friends, that’s all I’ll say about it. I’ve had a lucky escape and have learned to look more carefully before I leap. In fact, I’ve learned quite a few things. One of them is that you sometimes can’t see the luster of gold until you shine a light on it.
You were there for me all the time, dear lady, and I was too blind to see it. I plan to ask if I may court you when I return. This time, I’m doing it right. I was reckless before, as it was my very first romance, and I was a bit naïve. Okay, a lot naïve.
I think about you all the time, even before I discovered Ellen wasn’t for me. Your blue eyes haunted me, even on my voyage to England. As soon as I stepped off the ship, I wished I were back home.
My only hope and prayer is that I’m not too late in realizing the real gem had been right under my eyes, all this time. You are the sweetest, most down-to-earth, and intelligent woman I’ve ever met. I feel comfortable with you and enjoy your company. I can’t wait to get home so I can show you how I feel because I can’t find the words I need. Showing is much better than telling, isn’t it?
We’re about two days from landing in Philadelphia, and we have a long train ride ahead of us. I hope to see you in a few weeks.
Affectionately yours,
Ned.
Maria held the letter to her heart. She was already in love with him. She knew he’d be more cautious this time. She also knew he loved her, too, she could just sense it.
She lay back on her bed with the letter pressed to her chest.
Maria led Wade to the front porch swing. Once they were comfortable, Wade asked, “You wanted to speak to me? It will most likely be too dark to take a ride tonight, then.”
