Mr. Control

by Maya Hughes

  “This looks like a good spot,” I said, finding a space with two rocks that would give us each shelter for our fight. “Let’s get to work making some snowballs,” I said, crouching down, the fresh snow crunching under my feet. I loved the way snow made everything look like a clean slate. Fresh and new even though underneath you knew it was the same old garbage.

  We worked together making our arsenal of snowballs. Derek even chipped in, packing them methodically and adding all of them to Esme’s pile. Kids ran by with sleds and inflatables, headed to the small hill nearby. All in all, it was a picture-perfect afternoon. The sun shined high in the sky, giving off a little warmth, but my ears were freezing, my nose had to be the brightest shade of red, and my hands were numb. A few other kids had joined us, excited for a snowball fight. By the time we had our ammo ready, I could barely flex my fingers.

  “Why did you come out here with gloves like those?” Derek asked, finishing up the last snowball. I shrugged. It wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I glanced down at his gloveless hands and raised my eyebrow at him. He flexed his fingers with ease and they didn’t look the least bit red like mine. Was he a cyborg? I wouldn’t put it past Rhys to have the first cyborg bodyguard.

  “I didn’t really have time to go clothes shopping yet. I didn’t have time for snowball fights before. I wasn’t prepared.”

  “Let me see your hands,” he said. I held them out, taking my gloves off so he could inspect them. Derek cursed under his breath. “Are you trying to get frostbite? Thayer will kill me if anything happens to you,” he grumbled under his breath, shaking his head.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I’m going to get you some real gloves, not these bullshit fake leather things. I’ll be right back. Don’t you two move, okay?”

  “We won’t move, scouts honor,” I said, holding up my two fingers. “We’ll start our fight without you, though,” I teased.

  “Fine, just don’t leave this area,” he said, glancing around, before jogging off. Derek was a good guy. Annoying at times, but I knew why he was the way he was. I’m sure being security for someone like Rhys wasn’t easy. The threats against a billionaire must be unpredictable, to say the least. I wasn’t going to bust his balls, or make his job harder for him.

  “Ready, kiddo?” I asked Esme, crouching down behind my rock.

  “Ready!” Esme exclaimed, scrambling behind hers with the other kids.

  “You guys ready?” I said to the kids and some parents who’d joined us.

  “Snowball fight commencing in three-two-one. Go!” I shouted and there was a hail of snowballs whizzing by. Snow flying everywhere, a cold spray of it hit my face as snowballs exploded around me. Esme’s bright pink hat popped up from behind the rock every few throws. She even managed to get a direct hit right in my face. Good arm, kid. Laughter rang out from every corner of the park, kids face planted and there was complete chaos until the snowball supply dwindled down to nothing.

  “Esme, do you surrender?” I shouted from behind my rock, one final snowball clutched in my hand. There was no response, only the laughter of the other kids. She’s already leaving me behind to hang with her friends. “Esme, do you surrender?” I repeated, rounding her rock, but she wasn’t there. My stomach plummeted and every sound around me washed away as the blood pounded in my ears. I whipped my head around, calling her name. Then, before I even realized it, I was screaming her name. My voice cracked as I yelled out for her, spinning in circles, my hands on my head trying to think clearly. Where was she? Why would she leave? What if something had happened to her? Please let her be okay. Please.

  Other parents started to glance around too. The parents and kids from our game called her name. Her pink hat sat on the ground, only feet away from where we’d made our snowballs. I snatched it up off the ground, clutching it to my chest. Oh God, where was she? The overwhelming urge to vomit climbed up my throat. I screamed her name again.

  I ran toward the people sledding, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her. She was still here. She stood under a tree. Relief washed over me, but dread replaced it as I saw the man crouched in front of her. I’d been so focused on her, my mind hadn’t even registered that there was someone else with her at first. He stood and his hand held onto her jacket, tugging her away. Away from me.

  I took off running, my hair whipping around my face as my hat fell to the ground. I stepped on it, not caring for one second. Everything moved in slow motion as my feet connected with the ground, sliding in the snow. Please be okay. Please be okay. I prayed as my legs pumped harder than I’d ever run before in my life. My heart thundered in my chest as I got closer to them.

  The man had a hold of Esme’s coat, and she tried to pull herself away from him. I launched myself at him, ripping his hand off her coat and knocking him to the ground. My breath came out in heavy pants, a cloud of my breath forming in front of my face with each word.

  “Get the fuck away from her,” I screeched. I grabbed Esme and stood in front of her, ready to rip this guy’s balls off. “Don’t you dare touch her. Who are you? What were you doing with her?”

  “I wasn’t taking her anywhere. I was just trying to talk to her,” the guy said, getting up off the ground, brushing the snow off his black puffy coat. He had on a black hat and tan boots. I whipped my phone out of my pocket to take a picture. My hands shook so hard that it fell into the snow. I tried to commit every bit of detail about him to memory to relay to Derek and the cops. This stuff came up on the news from time to time, but I’d never thought something like this would happen here. Esme’s hands gripped my coat, her tiny fingers trembling. I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or from fear. I hoped it was the cold. But knowing this guy terrified her made me want to rip his throat out.

  “You don’t talk to her. You don’t know her. Don’t ever talk to her,” I shouted. A flash of gray whizzed past me and Derek was there. I relaxed a bit, turning to hold Esme in my arms. Derek had his hands around the guy’s collar. His feet left the ground as Derek slammed him up against the closest tree.

  “Get her out of here,” he growled at me. My breath came out in stuttering puffs as I allowed myself to breathe again. Derek would handle this. I turned and scooped Esme up in my arms, adrenaline helping me carry her all the way back to the apartment. I didn’t stop until I got back inside, setting her down in the foyer. I tucked her hair back behind her ears, noticing the twin tracks of tears drying on her skin. It made me want to go back down there and help Derek with whatever he decided to do to the guy.

  “Hey, Esme. You’re okay now. You’re safe,” I said, getting down on my knees and hugging her to me, rocking her back and forth.

  “What happened, kiddo?” I asked softly, leaning back to let her speak. But she clamped her lips shut. “It’s okay, if you don’t want to talk. How about I make you a bubble bath and some hot chocolate?” I offered, trying to catch her eyes. She looked up at me and nodded her head. I got her out of her snowsuit and ran her a bath. As I went to hang up her snow stuff, Derek burst into the apartment, making me jump.

  “Is she okay?”

  “She’s in the bath. Who was that guy?”

  “He was no one. Everything is fine now. He’s been taken care of,” Derek said, handing me back my phone. I didn’t want to ask questions. Whatever happened to the guy, he had it coming. But something told me he wasn’t no one.

  “Do the police want to speak to Esme or me?” Derek shook his head. “No police. It’s done.” A shiver ran down my spine, but I wasn’t going to argue. He left, but not before letting me know that security had been stepped up in the building, and not to leave the penthouse. He didn’t have to tell me twice.

  After Esme’s warm bath, I tucked her into bed and went to make her hot chocolate. The elevator doors slid open and Rhys stormed into the foyer, his eyes laser focused on me. I stepped back, hitting my head against the kitchen cabinets. Rage. He seethed. Anger radiating off him, and it was all aimed straight at me. My stomach churned an
d I dropped my eyes. My hand wrapped around the mug holding Esme’s hot chocolate, burning as drops of hot liquid splashed up and over the top. Rhys’s heavy breathing cut through the subdued atmosphere of the apartment.

  “Where is she?” he growled.

  “In..In her room. I was making this for her,” I said, holding out the mug, the pain in my hand long since forgotten. He rushed down the hall and into her room. I stood there frozen, I didn’t know where to go. The look he’d given me, it was like he’d reached into my chest and squeezed my heart with his bare hands. I added a couple ice cubes to her mug and crept down the hall, stopping in the doorway. Rhys had Esme in his arms, cradling her, rocking her back and forth, and speaking in hushed tones. She saw me standing there and held out her hand to me.

  “Thank you, Mel,” she said, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. The knot that formed in my stomach loosened an inch as her words rolled over me. It was a temporary setback. What happened today hadn’t knocked down the progress we’d made so far. I sat in silence, perched on the end of her bed as Esme finished her hot chocolate and recounted our snowball adventure in the park to Rhys. Like the other part of the day hadn’t happened. Like it was forgotten. I hoped it was. I hoped it wouldn’t give her nightmares like the ones that plagued me. Rhys was all smiles for her, but every glance at me turned my stomach. Esme yawned and snuggled down in bed.

  We tucked her in and walked out into the hall. The second Rhys closed her bedroom door, he was on me. He grabbed my arm in a punishing grip and stalked down the hall with me, flinging me into his office.

  “Did you tell him to meet you there? What was your plan?” he roared, slamming his fist into the wall. I jumped, my heart thundering in my chest. I had never seen this side of him before. I’d never been afraid of him before, not like this. He thought I had something to do with the guy in the park today. He thought I’d tried to have her kidnapped.

  “I didn’t have anything to do with what happened today. I…I was just trying to help Esme have some fun. I didn’t know something like this would happen! She was out of my sight for a few minutes in a park filled with people. I’d have never thought someone would try to take her. If I had, of course I never would have gone,” I said, my voice quivering.

  “Why did you send Derek away?” he asked, his arms crossed over his chest, scrutinizing me, dissecting me. It turned my stomach. This wasn’t like before. He’d never looked at me like that before.

  Tears welled in my eyes. I knew it was too good to be true. Someone like him wasn’t going to trust someone like me. I’m surprised I’d lasted this long. He backed away from me, fire still raging in his stare, and I lowered my arms. I willed the tears back in my eyes, closing them in a long blink.

  15

  RHYS

  It took everything in me not to punch a hole through the wall. He’d approached Esme. Talked to her. Probably scared her half to death. I had never seen him in person. But the pictures of him and my dearly departed wife, kissing and rolling around in bed together, were seared into my brain. As much as his fucking face had been burned into my memory, I still was not prepared for him to show up out of the blue. And I damn sure wasn’t prepared for him to be anywhere near Esme.

  Derek took a picture of the guy. His bloody nose and bleeding cut on his forehead weren’t enough to make him unrecognizable, I knew it was him, the man who’d taken so much from me and could take so much more.

  Mel stared back at me, her eyes wide and her lips trembling. Was she a lot more devious than I thought? How did she know Allan? What was her connection to him and how long had she been planning this? From the start? I didn’t know, but I needed to find out. His presence upended the thin thread of control I had over anything happening in my life right now.

  “Answer me,” I shouted and she jumped. I hated that I made her feel this way, but I needed to be sure. I needed to know she wasn’t a threat. As much as I wanted her, I’d never put her ahead of Esme. I’d die before I let anything happen to my little girl.

  “I didn’t. I didn’t,” she said, taking a big gulp of air. “My hands were cold. Derek was being nice and offered to get me gloves. That’s all.” I was usually a good judge of character. I’d had to be over the years, especially with what happened with Beth.

  I also learned that people loved to fill in a silence. They couldn’t stand to have it fill the air. I observed her. Tried to ferret out any deception on her part because that would be all I needed to have her put in a hole so deep, she’d dream of seeing sunlight again. But nothing about her screamed that she’d been involved. Derek told me the scene he came upon when he got back to the park. How she had Esme behind her, protecting her. I wanted that to be true. I wanted that to be the whole story. But I’d been burned before. Was my infatuation clouding my judgement?

  “Who was he?” I asked, trying again, attempting to calm my voice.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know who that was. I’d never seen him before in my life. I didn’t have anything to do with what happened this afternoon. I was so scared. The most scared I’ve ever been in my life,” she said, emphatically.

  I stared at her, soaking her in. I don’t know how long it was, but she held my gaze. Unwavering. I saw the shine of tears in her eyes. It wasn’t guilt I saw there but fear, fear for Esme and what happened today. I ran my hands through my hair. I had to believe she hadn’t done this. I couldn’t stand it if she were involved.

  Taking her out of the equation still left me with Allan. From the talk he had with Derek, he was clean now. Congratu-fucking-lations, Allan. It would have been nice if he’d been clean when he started his affair with my late wife. Beth’s childhood sweetheart. Had I known what would happen, how she’d rip my life apart, I’d have never married her, but then I wouldn’t have Esme. Every shitty thing that happened in my life up until the moment Esme was laid in my arms wasn’t something I could entirely regret.

  Allan was a problem, though. I’d thought was dead by now. An overdose or something else, but he was here now. He knew all my wife’s secrets, ones I thought died with her, and ones that could destroy everything. Derek scared him off for now, but he’d be back. I had no doubt in my mind, he’d be back. I didn’t know what to do and that uncertainty shook me to my core.

  “Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry,” I said, squeezing the back of my neck. My muscles bunched so tight, I felt like I’d snap something at any moment. She staggered back against the wall. And the tears that had welled up in her eyes finally spilled over. Her shoulders shook as she clasped her hands over her mouth. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have gone near her, but I couldn’t help it. I’d contributed to her sorrow. I was part of the reason she broke down like this.

  I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight against me as she cried into my shoulder. She gripped the back of my shirt, fisting it in her hands. Her tears soaked through my shirt and onto my chest. The wetness tickled my skin.

  I could kick myself for losing my temper and scaring her. I let the fear of Esme being harmed or worse, taken, over power my emotions to the point that I couldn’t think or see straight. I lost my shit, and being the asshole that I am, I took it out on Mel.

  That being said, I didn’t think her breakdown was entirely because of me.

  I understood the heart-pounding, and panic that weave themselves together into a blanket that threatens to choke you when your child disappears. I felt the same way I had that moment when Derek told me Esme was gone. The day I met Mel.

  After a few minutes, Mel’s shoulders stopped shaking and she wiped her face with her hands. I grabbed a few tissues for her and she mumbled a ‘thanks’ before letting out the almightiest of nose blows that left my ears ringing.

  I cracked a smile and went over to my bar and grabbed two glasses. I uncorked the crystal decanter and poured a finger of whiskey for us both. Melanie finished wiping the tears from her face and glanced up as I dangled the tumbler in front of her. She took it from me using both hand
s and downed it in one gulp, coughing and thumping her chest. I threw mine back and enjoyed the slow burn that spread through my chest, spreading out to my fingers.

  “Thanks,” she said, giving me a small smile. I nodded and took the glass from her. I hated the way she was looking at me, that I could still see the lingering signs of fear and hurt in her eyes. I hated that she saw that side of me. That I can’t be that knight in shining armor the rest of the world sees me as. But the way she looks at me, tells me she sees the real me.

  “I figured it was the least I could do,” I said. If she didn’t quit after this, I’d be really fucking lucky. I accuse her of trying to kidnap Esme and she has a breakdown in my arms. “Thanks for looking after her today, Mel. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her,” I said.

  Her head whipped up and she gawked at me. I glanced behind me trying to figure out why she looked at me like I had two heads. “What?”

  “That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Mel,” she said, a small smile playing on her lips.

  “Is it?” I didn’t feel like that was true. I always called her Mel in my head when I thought about her. I moaned Mel when my restraint was at its breaking point and I had to take myself in my hand and dream about being with her, about touching her soft curves, as I stroked myself, lost in the vision of her. Her name had been on my lips more times than I wanted to think about. She invaded my thoughts to the point that I wondered if I would ever be able to think about anyone else.

  16

  MEL

  His apology and peace offering cleared the air between us. I didn’t know what it was like, entrusting your kid to someone else’s care, but I imagined it came with a whole lot of worry about whether they were good enough, responsible enough, honest enough.

  “I hadn’t realized,” he said, gesturing to one of the chairs. The cool leather squeaking as I slid into the seat.