Mr. Control

by Maya Hughes

  I’d let Killian turn me against someone I should have protected. The board elections threw me off and I didn’t see how little that mattered. How little the money mattered when my little girl’s fate hung in the balance. I expected the next blow to come. The next challenge, but the board election dates came and went without a word from Killian. No bombshell revelation. No eleventh-hour surprises. The boards all voted to reelect me. My birthday came and went. Everything I’d ever wanted was laid out in front of me. The full inheritance, over a billion dollars, at my fingertips, and it all paled when I ran my hand over the empty bed beside me. Cold and smooth instead of a warm, rumpled mess that sometimes elbowed me in the head during the night.

  Every time Esme asked for Mel, it was another slice to my heart. I’d driven her away. How could I make this right? My last-ditch-effort video message seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. I needed her. We needed her. And I didn’t want to do this on my own anymore, and I didn’t want to be with anyone else but Mel.

  Now that I could breathe again, it was time to finally settle everything with my parents’ estate and start the plans I’d had in mind for a long time. The big plans that would finally give me my own freedom, but none of that mattered anymore. My anger at my parents was still there, simmering, but paled in comparison to what I’d lost now. I had left the lawyer’s office late that evening, heading to near-midnight dinner with the legal team. Esme hung out with Derek, who turned out to be a much more competent babysitter than I’d imagined. Seeing him decked out with a tiara and his nails painted hot pink was enough to make me think his assignment might need permanent reshuffling. It wasn’t like we’d need a security detail for much longer.

  I needed a drink, so why not have one on the lawyer’s dime? It wasn’t like I had anything to go back to in the apartment. Esme would be asleep by the time I got back. I rode over with one of the senior partners. Addison was a cut-throat ballbuster, which was why I’d hired her in the first place. Men often underestimated her because she was beautiful, but I hadn’t. I’d seen her chew people up and spit them out on more than one occasion.

  As we stepped out of the car, I stepped into a giant icy puddle right outside the door. The frigid water seeped into my shoes. Addison stepped out and I put my hand along her back to guide her away from the water. I’m sure her shoes cost a hell of a lot more than mine. A laughing group of women came toward me, dressed for going out. Addison smiled and thanked me, tugging her coat around her tighter. The group was only a few feet from us now. There were legs for days, but the only legs that mattered were the ones that belonged to Mel, walking toward me. I stopped like the sidewalk had turned to ice and frozen my feet there.

  Mel stopped and the group around her paused to see what had grabbed her attention. My eyes were riveted to her. Soaking her in. It had been so long since I’d seen her in person. I had tried to pry her address out of Derek. I knew he’d dropped off her things. But he was enragingly tight-lipped. She looked beautiful. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face, the ends tucked into her coat collar. I wanted to run my fingers through her curls and pull them free from the coat and let them run wild like they always did. Addison and the girls with Mel looked back and forth between us.

  “I’ll see you inside, Rhys,” Addison said, tapping on my arm before heading into the restaurant.

  “Mel, you okay?” one of her friends asked, looking from her to me. Mel nodded, she glanced to her friend.

  “I…I’m fine. Go ahead and I’ll catch up, okay?” Small puffs of her breath formed in front of her face. As the group left, glancing back at us the whole way, I took a couple of steps toward her. I approached her slowly, with caution, as though I was afraid she would scamper off if I moved too quickly.

  “Hi,” she said, running her fingers over her mouth before glancing up at me.

  “Hi,” I said, every word I imagined I’d have to say to her in person, gone. I was like a blank slate and everything I’d thought about over the past month died in my throat.

  “How are you?” we both said at the same time. My hands itched to touch her, but I shoved them deep into my pockets. I had my answer when she didn’t respond to me. I had my chance. I’d had a taste of the sweetest life I could have imagined and now it was gone. Standing so close to her now almost hurt, a keen piercing stabbed me through the heart that I couldn’t touch her.

  33

  MEL

  We stood there in awkward silence. That hurt. Our silences were always filled with so much more. Anger, sexual energy so powerful it nearly knocked me off my feet, happiness, but it had never been awkward before. After living in the apartment for over a month and always turning down their invitations to go out, closing myself off to everyone, I’d finally said yes. My roommates were so excited they all got me ready for the evening. Makeup, hair, the works. I tried not to think of the night of the gala and how one was an exciting next step in a relationship brewing between Rhys and me, and this was an exercise in not becoming a shut-in, trying to forget everything Rhys and I had shared before.

  I glanced through the restaurant window at the woman he’d helped out of the car. She was stunning. Her sandy blonde hair done up in a beautiful chignon. Her navy coat showed off her perfect legs and figure. She looked like she walked off the cover of Powerful Woman magazine. She sat at a table surrounded by men and she moved with ease. Rhys’s equal, someone who knew how to navigate his world. That’s exactly what she looked like. I wanted to curl in on myself as I wrapped my arms around my waist. I only had myself to blame.

  He’d sent me messages since the video. Tried to contact me and I’d shut him down. I had to imagine women were knocking down his door every day. It wouldn’t have taken long for him to find someone else. Someone better. I hoped she was good for Esme. Did she do the voices Esme liked when she sat on the edge of Esme’s bed and read her books? Did he trust her more than he ever trusted me?

  A tear escaped the corner of my eye and I batted it away. So stupid. You can’t give up on something and then be sad when someone else snatches it up. Embarrassment heated my face.

  “Sorry, I’d better let you get back to your date,” I said, going around him. His fingers wrapped around my elbow, catching me as I tried to get out of there with a bit of my dignity intact. I glanced over my shoulder, biting my lip to keep it from quivering. That’s the last thing I needed, to break down in front of him.

  “Mel.” He whispered my name as he had so many times before. When he tucked my hair behind my ear, wrapped his arms around me at night or ran his fingers down my spine, his chin nestled against my neck. It raised goosebumps on my skin that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures. He tugged me closer to him, so close I could feel the heat of his breath on the side of my face. And I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut. “I can barely get myself dressed in the morning now that you’re gone. If you think I’d want another woman, you’ve lost your mind. I only want you, Mel,” he said, guiding my face to his. I was caught in his gaze, unable to turn away. The feelings I’d tried so hard to push down, to forget, to leave behind, washed over me and warmed me from the inside out.

  The rest was a blur. Our lips intertwined out on the sidewalk, his hands in my hair, tugging on it, just the right edge of painful. I gasped and he delved in deeper, our tongues dancing the way our bodies longed. He flung the door to the SUV open and we fell into it.

  “Home,” he called out before his lips were back on my skin. Peppering my neck with kisses and nips. I glanced up, relieved Derek wasn’t staring back at me. The divider slid up and we were alone.

  His hands ran along my legs the entire ride to the apartment. Memories from the gala that I’d tried to forget, but couldn’t bear parting with raced through my mind. As excited as I was to see him and as much as I couldn’t wait for him to make everything up to me, I wanted to see Esme.

  The elevator doors opened and I didn’t even waste time taking off my coat. Derek stood from his spot on the couch. Rhys waved him off and I rushe
d into her room. The dim glow of her nightlight bathed the entire room in pink. There she was. My little girl. I clasped my hand over my mouth to keep my sob from waking her. I gingerly walked into the room and sat on the floor beside her bed. Her little hand poked out of the blanket and off the side of the bed. I wrapped my hands around it and rubbed it between my hands. A drawing tucked under her body. I slid it out and the tears welled back up in my eyes. It was the three of us. Me, Esme and Rhys. Hearts and sunshine filled the paper. I pressed the picture to my chest. She hadn’t forgotten.

  She opened her eyes and smiled. “Mel, you’re back,” she said, her eyes droopy.

  “I’m back,” I said, the tears brimming in my eyes as I smoothed down the hair on her head. “I made pictures for you,” she said, her eyes closed and before long she was back to sleep. I didn’t even know if she would remember I was there in the morning. I hoped she would because I didn’t plan on going anywhere again.

  I don’t know how long I sat there, but it was long enough that my legs were asleep when Rhys put his hand on my shoulder.

  “She drew for you every day,” he said, pointing to her dresser drawer that overflowed with drawings. I wanted them.

  “And I wrote to her every day,” I said, turning back to him. “Can I take them with me to my apartment?”

  “Come with me.” He held his hand out. I didn’t want to leave Esme and I wanted to get her drawings, but I knew we had so much to talk about.

  “I’ve never been anything more than what I can do for people. I’ve never had someone be there for me, just for me. I…I didn’t want to let myself believe in it, Mel. I didn’t want to believe because I knew it would kill me if you walked away one day. It would be like I was pushed off a cliff and hitting the rocks, if you ever told me what we had wasn’t real,” he said, crouched down in front of me, holding my hands.

  I knew that feeling. Freefalling was scary when you were used to things working a certain way. When you craved the predictability. I’d never had that luxury. Rhys was a different story.

  “I’m glad you told me. I…I know what it’s like when you feel like you’re freefalling and nothing’s going to stop you from crashing back down to earth.”

  “But I know now and I don’t care. I know what it’s like living without you and even if it’s for one more minute, I want that with you.” He kissed our joined hands. His warm lips pressed against the back of my hand. I wanted to run my fingers along his lips. He stood abruptly, leaning against the desk.

  “There’s more,” he said, his hands gripped tightly onto the desk.

  “Okay,” I said, leaning forward. I needed to know it all and he finally trusted me enough to tell me.

  “None of it is mine. The apartment, the cars. It all belongs to the foundations I chair. Given as a perk of the position,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Everything else, except for a small amount to live off is going to be given to the places I think it will make the most difference. My parents’ rules no longer apply. My parents thought I didn’t have a charitable bone in my body and that they needed to beat it into me. I just didn’t believe in their form of charity. I’ve got Esme, I’ve got you, and I’ve got enough for us to be comfortable without a target on my back, but I wanted to let you know what you were getting into with me,” he said, looking unsure. Like I gave a shit about the money. Sure, it was nice, but no one needed as much money as he had.

  “I don’t care about the money, Rhys. I’ve got you and I’ve got Esme and that’s all that matters to me,” I said, tears filling my eyes. I hated being so freaking weepy. “I’m taking college classes now. Finally, getting around to it after getting my GED,” I said, dropping my head. I hated how it made me feel to say it. I should be proud of it. I shouldn’t get that twisty gut feeling fessing up to the fact that I hadn’t graduated from high school. His fingers caressed my chin. I missed his touch and smell. I breathed him in, and relaxed into him. He tilted my head up until I met his eyes.

  “I’m so proud of you. I don’t care if you go to college or not, but if it makes you happy. If it’s what you want, we’re behind you one hundred percent, and Esme and I look forward to embarrassing the hell out of you when you walk across that graduation stage,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

  “I’m glad we got to talk. I’m glad you explained it to me. I don’t want to forget Esme’s pictures. I want to hang them up when I get home.”

  “Mel, maybe I haven’t been clear, but you’re home now. This is your home. With us,” he said before pressing his lips to mine. His soft lips hard against mine, coaxing the swirling pool of desire back to the surface. I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading my fingers through his hair, letting the silky smoothness run over them.

  “Take me to bed,” I whispered against his lips. He growled and I chuckled against his lips until he dipped and cradled me in his arms.

  “Put me down, you’re going to drop me,” I said, laughing and pushing on his chest.

  “Never again,” he said, gazing into my eyes. Tears gathered in his eyes and he blinked them back. “Never,” he said, so fiercely that my heart stuttered and the tears were back. All I could do was nod. I believed him.

  He laid me in bed like he was afraid I’d disappear. “I love you, Mel,” he said as he slid inside me. I gasped, forgetting how good it felt, how good he felt, as I dug my fingers into his muscled back.

  “I love you, too,” I said on a moan as he slammed into me, thrusting, as I hitched my legs up on his back, our bodies coming together in exquisite bliss I’d never experienced with anyone before and would have with him every day.

  This was forever. We were forever.

  Epilogue

  I fidgeted with my dress for the hundredth time since we landed. The car ride over seemed to take just as long as the plane ride. It felt weird to be back on this street again. Rhys convinced me to come. He had looked up their information, although their address was one I’d never forget.

  Opening the door to the car, I smelled the flowers from the nearby flowerbed in the air. The garden was bigger than I remembered, sitting out there in the early spring mornings planting bulbs and seeds with Shannon. What if they didn’t want to see me? What if they’d forgotten about me?

  My hands trembled as I pressed the doorbell. I glanced back at Rhys and Esme and gave them something as close to a smile as I could muster. The urge to bite my fingernails made me clasp my hands in front of me. My nails were practically nonexistent after how much I’d gnawed them on the way over. The door swung open and I spun back around, coming face to face with Shannon. Her eyes were wide and she clasped both her hands over her mouth.

  “Ben!” she called out. “Melanie,” she whispered. I nodded, my throat too tight to speak. Tears prickled the back of my eyes and tears spilled out onto my cheeks. Shannon stepped out and wrapped her arms around me so tightly I could barely breathe. I brought my arms up and around hers. She smelled exactly the same. The smell brought back every happy memory from my time in this home, and I broke down. Walking back into this house was like I’d returned from an odyssey around the world filled with desperation, heartache, and finally settled into a love that filled me fuller than I had ever imagined possible. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t still that pain of not seeing them. I couldn’t hold back my ragged sobs as I buried my head in her neck. Her arms shook around me as she cried too, her tears wetting my cheek.

  “Shannon?” Ben called out from behind her. I glanced up and saw him wiping his hands on a towel. “Mel,” he said, rushing toward us before wrapping his arms around both of us and lifting us off the ground. The years had been kind to both of them. I swore they didn’t look a day older than when I’d seen them last. Mom and I both laughed, wiping our cheeks as he put us back down. Mom, it felt so right.

  “Come in, come in,” she said, playfully pushing Ben back inside and waving us in. I glanced back at Rhys and Esme. I was smiling so widely my cheeks hurt. Rhys reached out and slid his hand into mine a
s we walked into the house. He caressed my wrist with his finger, calming me. I didn’t want this moment to end, it was the perfect moment. I was home, with all my favorite people in one place. Everything in the house was the same. The furniture, the paint, the pillows on the couch. They were all as I remembered. When I tried to transport myself back here those times growing up with Colleen, I’d clamp my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth, as drunken high idiots stumbled around my house, or someone locked me out of the house. Sitting on the curb until the street lights came on, waiting for someone to let me in. Sometimes I thought I’d dreamt the whole thing, but now running my hands along the table by the front door, sliding my fingers across the warm wood, it was all real. Everything I’d experienced here. The love, the comfort and the safety. And now I’d made that for myself with the man I loved. I squeezed Rhys’s hand and he squeezed mine back.

  We passed through the hall, following Mom when Esme tugged on my hand.

  “That looks like you,” she said, pointing at the pictures on the wall. Framed pictures of my time with them covered the light blue wall. It was still the exact shade of blue I always remembered. Christmas morning, Sunday pancakes, baking, me on the swings, us shooing Ben out of the room when we had our karaoke Fridays. It was all here, up on display. Interspersed among the pictures of me were photos of other kids. There had to be at least ten other kids here. It made me tear up again to know that they hadn’t forgotten about me and they’d been able to open their home up to so many other children over the years. Kids who got to experience everything I had with them. I hoped they’d been able to touch each of them as they had me. They’d cared about me just as much as I had for them and they were even more amazing than I’d known before. Mom came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.