Jacob's Return

by Annette Blair

  Ruben trailed behind her. “Well gee, Es,” he said, a pleading note in his voice. How can I be both a mule’s and horse’s behind? What kind of animal am I, exactly?”

  “Ya,” Jacob said, “big and dumb.”

  “The kind that slithers along the ground on its belly,” Esther said.

  Ruben laughed and backed her up against the closed barn door.

  “I don’t think they heard us when we drove in,” Rachel said. “And they can’t see us now. We should say something.”

  “Judging from the kiss Ruben’s giving Esther right now, I think you’re right. Should I jump from the carriage to protect her virtue?”

  “Jacob Sauder, don’t you dare.”

  “I think one of them might suffocate.”

  Esther pushed Ruben away with surprising strength. “You stink, Ruben Miller!”

  Ruben chuckled when he regained his balance. “Your fault, Esther Zook Lapp soon-to-be-Miller. When we’re married, you can help me take a bath every night.”

  “Jacob, Es’ll die when she realizes we heard that.”

  “I think they’re too busy kissing again to hear us if we leave.”

  “No, wait.” Rachel scrambled from the carriage and ran over to her sister.

  It looked to him as if it took some doing for Rachel to get their attention. Then Esther, red faced, looked over at the carriage. Jacob waved. Ruben, smiling widely, waved back. Esther handed Rachel little Daniel, then swatted Ruben’s arm.

  Rachel came back to the carriage and handed Daniel over to Jacob, then she went around to the other side to climb in. “Give him to me,” she said. When he did, she nodded. “We can go now.”

  Jacob watched Ruben and Esther go into the house, Ruben’s hand on her arm, Es’s head lowered, probably in embarrassment. Then he turned and looked at Rachel.

  “I said, we can go now, Jacob.”

  Beautiful. So beautiful, his Rachel, with a baby in her arms, it almost hurt watching her. He started Caliope going and cleared his throat. “We’re taking Daniel? Es didn’t mind?”

  “They’re going to talk.”

  Jacob couldn’t help his bark of laughter.

  Rachel hit his arm. “They’re coming for supper in a couple of hours. By then Daniel will be hungry.”

  “And Es and Ruben will have to get married.”

  Rachel’s face got all pink and warm looking.

  Like us, I wish, Jacob thought. It might have happened to him and Rachel years ago, having to get married, if he had not been so determined to protect her. How he wished he had not been so noble. So much sadness could have been avoided. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s pray they’ll be the kind of happy we could be. Let’s pray too, we can be happy with what we have.”

  Rachel nodded. “I’m going to give Simon every chance to change. I’ll be a good wife to him again when I move into the kinderhaus.”

  “When will you?”

  “When I’m certain he’s the Simon I thought I married.”

  “I think he already is the same Simon you married, Rache.”

  “I pray not,” Rachel said in a whisper. “The Simon I married was cruel. I want the one I thought I married. But I’m not even certain he exists.” She turned and checked Emma and Aaron. “They’re asleep.”

  “Carriage rides always do that to them.”

  “I’m glad I’ll still be taking care of them. I almost cried for thinking Es would be raising them.”

  When they got home, Rachel and the children waited for Jacob to put Caliope in her stall. While they did, Rachel noticed something on the floor and stepped closer. The black paw prints going in circles, then in all directions, made her giggle. Mama tabby and her kittens had gotten into something. “Jacob. Look at this,” she said when he approached.

  “What the...?” Jacob tracked them directly to the Gutenberg, Rachel right behind him.

  “Oh no! What a mess. Bad kitties!” Rachel said, shooing the last one away.

  The tin-lined ink barrel lay on the floor, thick, gloppy ink spilling out of it. Aaron bent right down and slapped his hand into the black muck. Fast on her brother’s heels, Emma did the same.

  “Ach. You two!” Jacob said pulling them up in unison one under each arm, legs kicking. “Let’s get them inside and settled then I’ll come back and clean this up.”

  The way he carried them did not keep Aaron from placing a black, hand print on his Pa-pop’s good Sunday shirt, and Rachel was entertained by Jacob’s astonishment when it happened.

  As if that was not enough, half way to the house, Daniel began to cry. “You know what,” Rachel said over his screams as they stepped into the kitchen.”

  “What?” Jacob asked, smiling, despite Daniel’s screams, his wiggling monkeys, and his ruined shirt.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know what to do with Daniel when he cries. This is the first time I ever took care of him by myself.”

  “You’re not alone,” Jacob said plopping the twins near the sink. “You have me to help.”

  “And me,” Simon said wiping his hands on a towel as he stepped inside from the summer kitchen stairs.

  Rachel unwrapped her crying nephew. “Simon, you didn’t stay for the Elders’ meeting?”

  “We decided to meet next week, instead.”

  Upon seeing his brother, Jacob remembered his anger over the marriage announcement. “Why did you try to announce my marriage to Esther, when I told you not to. And with her there?”

  “To nudge a nervous bridegroom. I was trying to help.”

  Jacob scowled. “You would not have helped if Esther and I were not meant to marry, which we are not.”

  “Well, your friend made a laughing stock of himself, and me too, with his foolish announcement.”

  “I think they will be happy,” Jacob said.

  “Jacob,” Rachel said. “How do I make Daniel stop crying?”

  “Let me.” Simon took Daniel from her and put him against his shoulder. The baby quieted instantly. “I seem to have a way with nephews, don’t I, Aaron.”

  “Unkabear,” Aaron said, raising black hands to Simon.

  “What did he get into?”

  “The barn cats knocked over the ink barrel and ink poured all over the floor,” Rachel said.

  “The barn cats did?” Simon began to laugh.

  “I did not think it was funny,” Jacob said.

  “I did not think you would.” Simon laughed the more.

  * * * *

  Bishop Zook grudgingly accepted Ruben for Esther’s husband — rather quickly, actually — when he came home early after the Elder’s meeting was postponed.

  Like all prospective bridegrooms, Ruben moved into his father-in-law’s house right away so he could begin working the farm and help with wedding preparations.

  With Ruben and Esther both widowed, less elaborate arrangements were made for their wedding, so the day approached quickly.

  The night before, Ruben came to see Jacob. “He makes me work hard that man,” Ruben grumbled. “When the farm chores are done we scrub floors, move furniture, polish silverware and even crack walnuts to get ready for this big event. Two weddings I have had, and never so hard have I worked.”

  “Every man wants a son-in-law who is a hard worker,” Jacob said. “With your reputation, you’re lucky the Bishop didn’t throw you out the day you announced your wedding before you even proposed.”

  Ruben grinned. “Esther wouldn’t let him.”

  Jacob chuckled.

  “I love Esther and Daniel; I will work hard for them.”

  “I know. No more fear?”

  “Some. But Esther is strong and well after Daniel’s birth.”

  “What are you doing here the night before your wedding, anyway, running out on chores, like the old days?”

  “Ach,” Ruben quipped. “No more of that for me. I have come for the turkeys we will roast for the celebration. Levi said he would put them aside for us. Esther wants me to kill them, so they ca
n be cleaned, dressed, then roasted overnight. I think a bridegroom’s worst job is cutting off the fowl heads for the bridal dinner. Who ever thought up such a foolish tradition, do you think?”

  “Some bride’s father, I expect. But, Ruben, just think what you’ll be doing tomorrow night.” Jacob elbowed his friend in good fun.

  Ruben grinned again, then he got serious. “You are not angry at me for what I did?”

  “I’m grateful to you. My reasons for asking her to marry me were good ones — to help her and my babies, and Rachel too — but not good enough to make a life on.”

  “Esther knew that too. We all did. I want this marriage to last the rest of my life, Jacob. It frightens me how much I want that.”

  “It will. And the rest of your life begins now. Let’s go quiet those noisy birds.”

  * * * *

  Rachel’s father waited beside Simon and the other ministers in the center of Eli and Mary Mast’s best room as the congregation sang the chant based on the passage, “Behold, the bridegroom cometh.”

  Holding hands, Ruben and Esther walked in together. Rachel and Jacob, as Ruben and Esther’s attendants, walked behind them, also holding hands. The four of them sat on two benches in the center, Ruben and Jacob, facing Esther and her, and Ruben couldn’t seem to stop grinning.

  Her father had once considered Ruben the laziest, good-for-nothing in the district, but Rachel didn’t think anyone could have worked harder than Ruben had to prove to his soon-to-be father-in-law that he would be a good husband to Esther. Rachel knew, because her father told her — out of Ruben’s hearing — that he put Ruben through such paces the likes of which four men could hardly do in a day. And Ruben did it all.

  Because of that, her father thought this would be the making of Ruben and a good life for Esther.

  Rachel wiped away a tear when her father placed his hand over Esther’s and Ruben’s clasped ones. “Do you stand in the confidence that this, our sister, is ordained to be your wedded wife?” her father asked.

  Ruben looked Esther over, tilted his head, as if trying to decide, and nodded. “Yes.”

  Rachel closed her eyes when her father asked Esther the same question and tried not to remember how she felt when she answered it at her own wedding. She wished she could recall believing Simon was ordained to be her husband. But with painful clarity, she remembered nearly crying out in panic.

  Unfortunately, she’d held her tongue.

  Alarm over that which could not be changed threatening to strangle her, Rachel opened her eyes … and found herself looking into Jacob’s anguished face.

  Heartsore, she turned her gaze and her attention toward her sister.

  “Do you also promise your wedded husband, before the Lord and his church, you will nevermore depart from him, but will care for and cherish him....”

  Never depart from him. Another hit.

  Rachel could no longer run from her transgression. She had broken vows made before God. She could not look at Jacob; she could not keep from it.

  His expression was bruised with deep regret.

  She looked away, his pain overwhelming her, and with great will, Rachel took a calming breath and smiled for her sister as their father pronounced Esther and Ruben husband and wife.

  Many, including her Pop, had bright eyes, but Rachel could not allow tears, even of joy, because those banked from sorrow would intrude.

  When everyone stood to leave, Rachel took another deep breath and looked about for Fannie who sat with all three children. When she spotted her friend, she was able to smile.

  Fannie’s own smile was wry. Her arms were too full to stand. Emma sat beside her, holding little Daniel’s hand as she probably had through the long service. Aaron sat on the floor in front of her, his arms wrapped around Fan’s legs, and his cheek resting against her knees.

  Jacob saw them and chuckled. “Fannie is a good friend.”

  “She is. I should go and rescue her.”

  But when she made to move in that direction, Jacob took her arm and led her to a table where he poured her a lemonade.

  “Rache,” he whispered, as she drank. “To cherish and care for, are not vows broken by you. You departed from him because you were thrown away. These sins you think you own, you do not. They are mine. And they are Simon’s. Every one of them.”

  “You would take on my sins, Jacob?”

  “It is not a matter of taking any more than I deserve. But if you will not heed me in this, then at least remember what we’ve been taught. ‘He who knows everything, also forgives.’” He turned away and took a glass of lemonade to Fannie, trading the drink for Daniel who began to set up a ruckus. And Rachel knew Jacob Sauder was a good man no matter what he had done.

  The guests, including Simon and her Pop, headed for the wedding breakfast at Pop’s farm a half-mile away. Her job, and Jacob’s, as attendants, would be to get Ruben and Esther to the wedding dinner.

  Esther heard Daniel and made her smiling way through the waning crowd. “How many brides have to nurse their babies before their wedding celebration?” she asked taking Daniel from Jacob to follow Mary Mast upstairs where she could nurse him. But Emma did not want be parted from Daniel.

  “Let her come with me. I won’t be long,” Esther said. “He eats fast, my Daniel Jacob.”

  Ruben frowned and sat. “I wanted to go with them, but I couldn’t with Mary there.”

  Jacob chuckled. “You’ll have them all to yourself tonight.”

  “Well, that seems a long way off. I don’t understand it. Esther has always been here in the valley. We went to school together. She married Daniel. I married … often. And now, years later, here we are married to each other. And suddenly I have this feeling I cannot bear to let her out of my sight. How did I live without her before now, I’d like to know. I tell you, Jacob, it scares me silly, this feeling I have never known before. As if my whole life, I have waited for Esther.”

  “I understand ...” Rachel’s voice cracked. “You are very lucky to have each other.”

  Ruben took her hand. “I walked some dark miles, Mudpie. I felt as if my life had ended but I had not left the earth yet — to my frequent regret. Now, I have everything. Remember, none of us knows what the future will bring. You need to have faith.” He leaned forward and looked at Jacob. “You too.”

  Jacob cleared his throat and nodded half-heartedly.

  When Mary Mast came downstairs, Ruben eagerly rose. “Let’s go get my bride.”

  He got to the bedroom first, where Mary said Esther was feeding Daniel.

  Emma cried, “Boob!” when she saw him, and launched herself into his arms. When she crinkled her nose, Ruben chuckled and kissed it. Then he stepped further into the room, and stopped, as if the sight stunned him.

  Esther, in her heart-shaped white prayer kapp, and her white bridal apron over a deep cornflower blue dress, sat rocking Daniel as he nursed. She was radiant, her smile bringing out a natural, breathtaking beauty as she gazed at Ruben with love in her eyes.

  “Mein Gott,” Ruben said. “Look at this family I have been given.” He turned back to Rachel and Jacob, tears in his eyes. “I know I do not deserve them, but, Lord, I am so grateful to have them.”

  Rachel stepped into the room and took Emma. “We’ll bring the carriage around to the front and wait for you.”

  As they left, Ruben had removed his hat and was bending on one knee before Esther and his new son.

  * * * *

  Fannie took Daniel and Emma, and Simon took Aaron, once they were all back at Zook’s house. Then Ruben and Esther, she and Jacob, went upstairs to a spare bedroom to wait for the signal calling them down.

  She and Jacob left the room almost immediately to wait at the top of the stairs so Ruben and Esther would have a few minutes alone.

  After a wedding, every couple waited alone for the first time in an upstairs bedroom for when they would descend together for their wedding dinner. Though not for very long, fifteen minutes at most, many a lasti
ng memory was created then.

  Pink cheeks and hushed whispers often accompanied a woman’s smile when she spoke of her time in the ‘upstairs room’ on her wedding day. Rachel remembered hers well.

  Simon said her purple dress was prideful and she should push her indecent curls under her kapp so as not to shame him.

  Yes, a first. But no first married kiss, no tentative touch, no fingertip to the cheek … not even a kind word. Instead, she’d had her first glimpse of the man she married, not the one feigned during courtship. And his manner had not wavered from that day … until the day after her hearing over her newspaper.

  Did Simon care so much about what others thought, that if they approved of her so openly, then he would too?

  Only one thing Rachel knew for certain, her husband had never offered to take a sin of hers to bear as his own. Nor would he. She sighed and chided herself for her selfish thoughts on such a happy day, and turned her attention to the celebration.

  When she did, Jacob was beside her, at the top of the enclosed stairway, waiting patiently for her to look at him.

  “If we were in that room, I would do this,” he whispered, placing his lips against hers in the softest, most tender kiss she had ever experienced.

  When Esther and Ruben came to stand behind her and Jacob, Esther’s cheeks were rosy, and Ruben’s smile wide, but no more than hers must be, Rachel thought, just as her father opened the door at the bottom of the stairs to call them down.

  At their places, Ruben and Esther exclaimed over the beautiful plates, bowls, and dishes on their table, all filled with fancy desserts and treats. A wine flask held cider, matching goblets beside it. The food was to be eaten during the wedding celebration, the dishes their wedding gifts.

  The Schnutzler carved the turkey for the Eck, the corner table where the bridal party sat, and saw them well served.

  “Do you know,” Ruben said. “We are eating five turkeys, twelve ducks, twenty chickens, forty loaves of bread, two bushels of potatoes and two of celery. Not to mention pies and cakes.”

  Jacob chuckled. “And how do you know this, Ruben?”

  “I was up until two this morning preparing it!”