When the Music Stopped

by Matthews, Beryl

  ‘I have never found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with until I met Sara.’

  ‘I hope it works out for you.’ He looked at his son and chuckled. ‘We will enjoy being grandparents to the twins.’

  ‘Alex! You’re back.’ Sara greeted him fondly. ‘Thank heavens that terrible war is over and you are safe. Welcome home.’

  ‘Thank you, my dear. I am very glad to be back and to see you looking so well.’ He took her hands in his and bent to kiss her cheek. ‘How have things been for you?’

  ‘Very well and even better now I’ve seen you. We’ll also have the children home for good now the war is over. Isn’t it wonderful? There have been such celebrations. Have you seen the professor yet? He is so excited and has been making sure the piano is ready for when Lester returns.’

  ‘I’m going to see Joshua tomorrow.’ He sat back and waited while the trolley was brought in.

  Adams beamed at him. ‘Welcome home, sir.’

  ‘Thank you, I’m glad to be here.’ He glanced at the trolley and smiled. ‘Is that Cook’s famous fruit cake?’

  ‘Yes, sir, she knows you like it.’

  ‘I do, indeed, but how did she know I was coming?’

  ‘She’s had it made since the end of the war was declared, ready for your visit.’

  ‘Please thank her and let her know I appreciate her thoughtfulness.’

  ‘I’ll do that, sir.’ Adams turned to Sara. ‘Is there anything else you require, madam?’

  ‘Not at the moment, thank you.’

  Once the butler had left she said, ‘I’ve had letters from the children and Lester said he expected to be home soon, but couldn’t say when. Lillia won’t be returning until all the wounded have been repatriated.’

  ‘They will do that as soon as they can.’

  ‘I’m sure they will, and once they are both here I will have the unpleasant task of telling them about their birth, and what has happened to the man they thought was their father. I don’t look forward to that, but it will be a relief to me when they know the whole story. I pray it doesn’t spoil their homecoming.’

  ‘We could also give them some good news – at least, I hope they would consider it in that way. From the many letters we have sent each other, you must be aware by now of my feelings for you. I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, but could not say anything because you were a married woman. I offered you friendship, and thought I had to be content with that, but now you are free and the war is over there is the future to consider.’ He stood up. ‘I love you very much, Sara, and would be honoured if you would consent to be my wife.’

  ‘Oh, Alex, I do love you.’ She grasped his hands and he pulled her out of the chair. ‘But are you sure this is what you want? You know my past.’

  ‘That was a long time ago and you have two delightful children. They are a blessing, my dear, and not something to regret or be ashamed of. They have been your life, but they are not children now, and quite capable of making their own decision. It is time you considered your own happiness. Do you need time to think about my proposal?’

  ‘No, I don’t need to think about it. You are quite right and it is time I thought about my own future. I would be proud to be your wife.’

  He breathed a sigh of relief and took her into his arms. When their longed-for embrace ended, he said, ‘Thank you, my dear, you have made me very happy.’

  ‘That makes two of us.’ She smiled up at him with joy in her face. This was more than she could ever have hoped for. After years in that dreadful sham of a marriage she had been given a chance of love and happiness at last. ‘What a shame we haven’t got any champagne.’

  ‘Ah, but we have. I left a bag in the hall with two bottles in it, just in case you did accept me. One is for us and the other for your staff. They will undoubtedly want to stay with you, so do you think they will accept me?’

  ‘They adore you nearly as much as I do,’ she laughed, pushing him out of the door. ‘Get the champagne while I ask Adams to bring everyone here.’

  Sara had been right; they all appeared to be happy by the news, and Cook’s face lit up with excitement as she offered to take care of the catering and make the wedding cake.

  ‘That will be appreciated,’ Alex told her. ‘We haven’t had time to make any plans yet, and nothing can be decided until the twins are home.’

  ‘Of course,’ they all agreed, the happy mood dulling for a moment as they all thought about the awful news awaiting them when they did return.

  Adams handed round the drinks and they were all smiles again as they congratulated them and wished them well.

  Once they were alone again, Alex removed a small box from his pocket, took out the ring and slipped it on her finger. ‘Ah, good, it fits. It was my grandmother’s and she left it to me a long time ago for my future bride when I found one. It has been worth the wait, and I hope you like it. If not we can find something else later.’

  ‘It’s beautiful,’ she gasped, gazing at the diamond and sapphire ring. ‘I will be proud to wear it.’

  ‘I am sure my grandmother would be pleased with my choice. The next thing we must do is find a suitable house. Do you want to stay in London, or move further out?’

  ‘I hadn’t thought about it, but don’t you want to live here? This house has come down through the Kirkby family for generations.’

  ‘We can live here, of course, if that is what you want, but I thought you might like a fresh start. You could give this to the children.’

  ‘What a splendid idea. They are old enough now to have a place of their own.’

  Alex chuckled. ‘I don’t suppose you know, but James is determined to marry Lillia, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Ruth and Lester had the same idea. If that is so, then they are going to need somewhere to live, and this house is large enough for all of them.’

  ‘My goodness.’ Sara sat down suddenly. ‘So much is happening; my head is in a whirl, and you are quite right, they will need this house. I don’t mind where we live as long as it’s within easy reach of London, because the children will have to stay here to continue their studies.’

  ‘Leave it with me. I will find several houses and we can look at them together before making a choice.’

  They talked for hours, making plans for the future, but could not finalise anything for the moment.

  They had hoped to celebrate Christmas with their families but had not received permission to leave their base until January 1919. The sea had been rough when they had left France, but there was a lull now and it was quite beautiful when a watery sun shone on the surface. Lester leant on the rail and looked out at the large expanse of water. There was nothing else in sight and he tried to imagine what it had been like for the girls when their ship had been torpedoed. They had jumped into the sea, and after the ship had sunk there would have been nothing but water, no longer beautiful, but deadly.

  Someone came and stood beside him and he turned his head to look at his friend who was gripping the rail as tightly as he could. ‘Are you feeling better?’

  ‘A bit. I saw a medic and he gave me something. What are you doing out here? It’s freezing, and it looks as if another storm is coming in.’

  ‘I wanted some fresh air and I have been trying to imagine what the girls went through when—’

  ‘Don’t!’ James exclaimed. ‘I’ve got enough to cope with without you frightening the life out of me. Do you think those submarines know the war’s over?’

  ‘Of course they do.’ He caught hold of his friend as he swayed. ‘You’re not safe out here in your state. Let’s go and see if we can get some food inside you.’

  ‘I’ll try a cup of tea.’ He groaned as the ship lurched. ‘Why didn’t they let us fly back?’

  Lester pointed to the black clouds rolling in at speed as the wind increased in force. ‘Would you like to be up there in that?’

  ‘It would be better than this.’

  ‘Stop grumbling. It’s only a short
journey.’

  ‘Not short enough for me. You must have a stomach made of iron. Once we get home I’m never going to set foot on a boat again.’

  They only caught the tail end of the storm and it soon swept away, leaving the sea calm with hardly a wave on it.

  James breathed a sigh of relief and some colour began to return to his face. ‘I think I might be able to eat something now. Perhaps a cheese sandwich or some toast would be nice.’

  ‘I’ll see what I can get.’

  Lester soon returned with soup, bread and a plate of toast. ‘Take your pick of whatever you think you can keep down.’

  His friend thought about it for a while, then picked up a piece of toast and took small bites. Then he finished the soup and the bread.

  ‘Feel all right?’ Lester asked when the plates were empty.

  ‘Think so. Whatever that medic gave me must have settled my insides. How much longer before we reach the London Docks?’

  ‘Less than an hour. Will you go straight on to Winchester, or would you like to stay overnight with us?’

  ‘I’ll go straight home, but I’ll come and see you in a couple of days.’ He grinned. ‘We’ve been together for a long time and it will seem strange going our separate ways. That is only temporary, though, because once the girls are home it will be the four of us together at last.’ What he wasn’t saying was that his friend might need company to get over the shock of hearing about the scandal of the trial. With his sister still away, he wasn’t going to let him suffer alone. They had been through too much together for him to do that.

  They parted company at the train station and Lester headed for his home, and he agreed with James; it was strange to be going somewhere without him.

  When Adams opened the door he put his fingers to his lips, indicating that the butler should remain silent. He nodded and smiled happily, pointing to the sitting room.

  Dropping his kit in the hall, Lester quietly opened the door and looked in. His mother was sitting by the fire reading a book, and glanced up when he walked in.

  For a moment she just stared and then leapt to her feet. ‘Lester! You’re home. I didn’t know you were coming.’

  He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. ‘I thought I’d surprise you.’

  ‘You’ve certainly done that. Let me look at you.’ She stepped back a little and stared at her son in wonder. He was no longer the boy she remembered. Standing in front of her was a handsome man, but a man showing the strain of dangerous combat over a long period. ‘My goodness, you’ve grown so tall. How are you? Have you recovered from the injury you had after the crash?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ he told her, ‘and also very hungry. Is there anything to eat in this house?’

  A meal was quickly served and they talked while he tucked in to one of Cook’s excellent steak pies. He had her laughing about some of the funny antics he and James had got up to, never once mentioning the unpleasant things.

  ‘Your room is ready for you,’ she told him when he kept yawning. ‘Have a good night’s sleep. You must be tired after your journey.’

  ‘I am,’ he admitted. After saying goodnight he walked towards the stairs and paused outside the music room. He wasn’t ready to go in there yet. Perhaps tomorrow.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  ‘How is he?’ Alex strode into the sitting room where Sara and Joshua were, and both turned to him with worried expressions.

  Sara greeted him with a kiss when he went to her side. ‘He’s withdrawn and takes long walks no matter how bad the weather is.’

  ‘He’s been home for two weeks and hasn’t once been to the music room.’ Joshua clenched his hands together with worry. ‘When I told him his piano was tuned and ready to use, he just smiled and thanked me, but didn’t even go to look at it. I haven’t pushed him to start playing again because I feel that will do more harm than good. To be honest, I am at a loss to know what to do.’

  ‘What is worrying him?’ Sara asked. ‘And what can we do to help?’

  ‘Exactly what you are doing. Treat him with love and affection, and let him know you are happy to have him home again. As for the music, leave him to deal with this reluctance to play.’ He gave Joshua a sympathetic glance. ‘You must be prepared for the chance that he might never play again.’

  Sara gasped, distressed by the suggestion. ‘I do wish Lillia was here. She might be suffering in the same way and they need each other.’

  Joshua looked furious. ‘What has this bloody war done to my talented darling? Forgive my language, dear lady, but the thought of all that music being locked in him with no way to express it is more than I can take.’

  ‘You know him well, Alex, and you have a better idea of what it was like out there, so could you talk to him?’ she pleaded. ‘If you could find out what is wrong, we might be able to help. We feel so helpless. Do you know he hasn’t even asked why Gilbert isn’t here?’

  ‘I will talk to him about this only if he comes to me for advice. This kind of thing is happening to thousands of men returning from the war. They have been facing danger every day, being shot at and watching their friends die. Then suddenly it stops, and when they return home they are expected to carry on with their lives as if nothing has happened. It isn’t that easy; it takes time. That is what Lester needs, time to adjust. Give it to him without any pressure to do something he is clearly not ready for yet. He may return to his music – he may not – but you must leave that decision to him.’

  ‘That is hard to do, but I understand what you are saying.’ Joshua smiled sadly at Sara. ‘I will stay away until I am sent for, and I pray that happens soon.’

  ‘Professor, you have been with us for so long you are considered a part of our family. I won’t hear of you staying away, and you will dine with us tonight as arranged.’

  ‘Sara’s right,’ Alex told him. ‘You have been a constant in the twins’ lives since they were little more than babies, and Lester is used to seeing you around. Keep it that way; don’t go changing the routine of a lifetime, or that could make him even more uneasy.’

  ‘Oh, well, yes, if you put it like that. I thought my being here might distress him.’

  ‘No, quite the opposite. Where is he, by the way?’

  ‘He’s out with James,’ Sara told him. ‘That boy is a blessing and is staying with us for a while. He doesn’t appear to have any problems. He’s always smiling and joking.’

  ‘Don’t be deceived by his ready smile. There’s a real struggle going on inside him, but I think I might have the answer to his problems, and perhaps both of them.’

  ‘I hope so.’ Sara sighed. ‘James told me that he knows about the trial because he’d seen an English newspaper, but had kept it from Lester. I haven’t said anything yet because I want Lillia here as well.’

  ‘She’ll be home soon, I’m sure.’ Alex heard the front door slam and chatter from the boys.

  ‘Alex!’ James swept into the room with Lester right behind him. ‘Father told me you are retiring from the army. What will you do?’

  He watched them warming their hands by the fire, and said, ‘As you know, in April last year the Royal Air Force was created by merging the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Navy Air Service. I think flying is going to be very important in the future, so I’m going to open a flying school.’

  They both spun round, their faces glowing with sudden interest.

  ‘I say, what a splendid idea,’ James exclaimed, his face lighting up.

  ‘Can we help?’ Lester was more animated than he had been since returning home.

  ‘I was hoping you would say that.’

  ‘Tell us all about it,’ James demanded. ‘When and where is this school going to be set up?’

  ‘I’ll be out of the army by the spring, and have already made arrangements to start the school at Hendon. It will be hard work, but we should be up and running by the summer.’

  ‘Just in time for the good weather. That’s terrific.’ James slapped h
is friend on the back. ‘We’ll be able to fly again, only this time for pleasure.’

  ‘You’re going to need instructors.’ Lester was as interested as his friend now. ‘Will we do?’

  ‘I couldn’t ask for better.’

  Sara watched her son, relieved to see him looking excited about the scheme, but troubled that it might take him further away from his music. However, she had already discussed this with Alex, and if he felt this might help the boys, then she trusted him. He had been out there in France and understood the problems they were having in adjusting to normal life again. The boys also liked and respected him, and she was sure he was in a better position to help them.

  ‘Will you get many people wanting to learn to fly?’ Joshua wanted to know.

  ‘I believe so. Flying played a significant role in the war, and flying will become even more popular as aeroplane design advances. I also intend to run a hire service for qualified pilots. I have researched it carefully and have come to the conclusion that it could be a successful enterprise. It will be hard work to build up, of course.’

  ‘I’d like to go to Hendon again.’ Lester looked hopefully at Alex. ‘They were good days, weren’t they?’

  ‘Yes, they were. Tell you what, why don’t you and James come with me now? We can make a quick visit and I’ll tell you what the plans are.’

  ‘Wonderful! Can I drive your car?’ James asked eagerly.

  ‘Don’t let him do that.’ Lester raised his hands in mock horror. ‘The last time I was in a car with him we careered around France, and I don’t care to remember how many times he nearly hit something.’

  ‘We got there, didn’t we?’

  They were grinning now as they remembered trying to find that farm.

  ‘I think I’d better drive. Get your coats. If we hurry we can be back in time for dinner.’

  The moment the boys had rushed from the room to collect their things, Alex kissed Sara. ‘Don’t worry too much. At least Lester is showing enthusiasm about something again.’

  ‘It was good to see him laughing and joking again. Thank you, darling.’