Lost in Scotland

by Hilaria Alexander

  “Declan better be careful—my sister is a charmer and a player.”

  “Well, sounds like he’d get a taste of his own medicine. It’s settled then. My brother will fly you to Thailand.”

  “God, when you say it like that, it sounds even crazier,” I said, grabbing his face with my hands.

  “It isn’t. I’m only sorry about one thing: that I can’t come with you.”

  My shoulders sank. “Why not? I was already fantasizing about it. You and me, sandy beaches, crystal-clear water…”

  “Have you forgotten what you told me a couple days ago?”

  “Gahhh, how could I be so stupid? I can’t believe I almost asked you to Thailand with me!” He couldn’t tan. I told him that even if he went skiing, I was going to kill him. For the purpose of continuity, we couldn’t have him showing up with a mountain or tropical tan; there was very little chance for his character to get a whole lot of sunshine in the highlands.

  “What if you stay indoors like Edward Cullen?”

  “Edward who?”

  “Never mind,” I replied, biting my lip.

  Sam

  As much as I missed my Scot, my family and I had a blast in Thailand. Amira was able to hang out with us for a couple days before she started shooting again, and my parents (and their spouses) had rented a big place able to accommodate at least fifteen people, so Declan stayed with us for a few days. It felt a bit like camp.

  Turned out, Declan really did have a monster crush on my sister, and she didn’t seem immune to his charm. Declan was almost as tall as Hugh, with short brown hair, blue eyes, and a reddish beard. He was funny and had the same easygoing personality as his brother. Amira seemed quite captivated. My sister was undoubtedly a looker; the older she got, the more she reminded me of Aishwarya Rai, the Indian actress. The only differences were that Amira’s eyes were blue and her hair was a very light brown. These days, she colored it a warm shade of blond, because she said that any time she went through casting for a new movie, they asked her to change her hair color.

  Although I liked her natural color, the blond highlighted her features even more.

  On the last night Declan stayed with us, he and my sister disappeared somewhere while we were all out at a club. We didn’t see them for the rest of the night, and the day after, Amira left to shoot on location.

  I decided to stay out of it. I missed Hugh, and even though we texted a lot, it was a travesty that I got to spend more time with his brother than with him.

  Declan left a day after Amira did.

  He was supposed to pick up some clients in Phuket and go back to the UK. As he got ready to leave, he had the proudest smirk on his face, one that looked entirely too familiar.

  “Do you think he and Amira got it on last night?” my brother Robert asked that afternoon while we sunbathed on the beach.

  “I believe so,” I said with a sigh.

  “Do you think he’ll kiss and tell?” my brother asked in a worried tone.

  “Declan? Please. Scottish men are men of honor, or at least the MacLeods are.”

  “Are they now? You seem pretty taken with your boyfriend,” he said with a smirk.

  “I am,” I replied with a brilliant smile. “What about you? What happened with that cute girl with glasses? You seemed so into her!”

  He gave me an embarrassed look and opened his mouth, but struggled to find the words.

  “You won’t like what I have to say.”

  “Robert, you didn’t! How could you do that to the poor girl? You know what I went through with Eric.”

  “Sam, I’m sorry. It was a colossal mistake. I behaved like an asshole, and I realized it too late. I didn’t deserve her.” We both let out a deep sigh at the same time then looked out at the ocean. While Amira was busy shooting on a private island nearby, my extended family and I visited all the cool spots. We canoed to Khao Phing Kan, which was also known as 007 Island because it was where they’d filmed The Man With The Golden Gun. We also went to Leo’s beach from The Beach, and we even went north of Bangkok to visit the Buddhist temples in Ayuttaya. My mother, the religious flip-flopper, claimed she was going to start studying Buddhism and attend the temple by her house when she returned to California. Even her wife snickered at that behind her back.

  Hugh and I missed each other when I went back to Scotland; he and Melissa had just left to attend the Golden Globes and do some press beforehand.

  He kept sending me snaps of the two of them in California, and I started growing restless by the hour. Since we’d gotten together, we hadn’t been apart for this long, and being away from him was killing me. I longed for the day when we could finally be together out in the open, and I knew he did, too. In fact, a few days later, he sent me a message that filled my heart with hope.

  Melissa and I told the network we’re not up for their games. Soon we won’t have to hide anymore.

  I can’t believe you guys did that! What did they say?

  Not much. They didn’t look thrilled, that’s for sure. Nora made them understand we were not happy with how they wanted to handle publicity. Melissa told them she’s gay and refuses to be trapped.

  We could be with each other out in the open. We wouldn’t have to hide anymore around our coworkers. We could finally be us.

  I am glad you two talked to them, but I am worried about you, Hugh. Your career…

  I’m still going to have a career, Sam. I won’t have a life, ever, if I allow them to bend me like this.

  I knew he was right. Another message popped up on my screen.

  We can finally be together. Out in the open. I told them about us.

  My chest tightened. Was this a good idea? They had already pissed off the network by telling them they didn’t agree with their marketing campaign. I didn’t reply right away; I didn’t know what to say. I was worried. For some reason, I didn’t have a good feeling about this. Network executives were usually dicks. They weren’t the dreamers who wrote shows and movies or the people who brought them to life. What they mostly cared about was making their money back and then some. Hugh sent me another text.

  You’re not going to say anything? I thought you’d be happy.

  I am, just worried. I hope they’re not going to be hard on you guys. I miss you. I can’t wait for you to be back.

  I miss you, too, mo gràdh. We’ll be back in St. Martin on Friday night.

  Friday night, aye? Want to finally say yes to that duet?

  Over my dad body.

  What? Dad body? I laughed to myself. He most certainly did not have a dad bod.

  What?

  Err, over my dead body. Damn autocorrect.

  I love you. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but it seemed an awful thing to do over text messaging. I did love him, and I knew he felt just as strongly as I did, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone up against the network executives like that. If he didn’t love me, he would have played the game they asked him to play to safeguard his career.

  I can’t wait for you to be back.

  It was true. I enjoyed working with other people while he was away, but I missed our routine. I had become so attuned to him. He was my colleague, my friend, my lover. One of these days I’d be able to say he was my boyfriend out loud. My heart was lodged in my throat at the thought of having a “normal” relationship. I couldn’t wait.

  The next couple days were a blur. I knew Hugh, Melissa, and Nora were coming back on a private plane to Edinburgh, and they’d be in town sometime during the evening. I was counting the hours, but we had been crazy busy shooting other scenes that didn’t require the presence of the lead actors.

  By the time Friday morning came around, I was exhausted, but I was excited to hug my Scot again.

  Unfortunately, the day started in a rather unpleasant way.

  A couple hours after I got to work, I was asked to go to one of the offices for an impromptu meeting. I thought it was something regarding the entire makeup and hair department, but I soon found out I was the on
ly one who’d been summoned.

  I had a bad feeling about it.

  When I got to the production office, I was met by a few people in suits, UK representatives of the network. I wondered, for a second, if Hugh and Nora knew about this, and then I realized how perfectly they’d timed the meeting. Hugh and Nora were up in the air, and I wasn’t going to be able to reach them for hours. The suits had all the time in the world to get rid of me. I knew it was happening even before they unceremoniously explained to me that I was being terminated.

  I was getting fired, and I knew just the reason why.

  Hugh’s name, however, was never mentioned. Instead, I was accused of underperforming and not being qualified or experienced enough for the position I had been covering for the last several months. According to them, my performance was not on par with the levels of quality they intended to achieve on this production. This, of course, was news to me. Never had I been told I wasn’t doing a good job the entire time I had been there. I took my job seriously, and I knew this was not why these people were getting rid of me.

  This was payback for Hugh and Melissa sticking it to the network. This recrimination was exactly what I had been afraid of.

  “Ms. Farouk, we are sad to see you go, but as you can see, it’s necessary. We are just aiming at something better.”

  “Mr…”

  “Ellis.”

  “Mr. Ellis, you obviously cannot expect me to agree with your statements. I have been an outstanding employee the whole time I have been here. I’ve been a team player and took the place of Margaret Lovett when she had her baby early. I haven’t received any complaints, so excuse me if I am a bit peeved by all the accusations you are throwing at me.”

  “No, no, no one is accusing you of anything, Ms. Farouk. We’re just looking for something different. Something you, unfortunately, can’t give us.”

  They were telling me, plain and simple, that I wasn’t good enough at what I did. I knew it was pointless to argue any further, so as soon as they were done with their explanation, I left the office and went to get the few things I had on set.

  Walking off a set in broad daylight is not something that can be done easily. Everyone asked me where I was going, and when I told them I had been sacked, they couldn’t wrap their heads around it, couldn’t let it go.

  Cecilia and Blair insisted I needed to stay put until Nora and Hugh came back, but I knew there was no use. Nothing would change the execs’ decision.

  Also, getting fired on a set in a faraway location was much different than being let go in Los Angeles. I had to pack.

  I went home and did just that, but my flight wasn’t until the next day. The corporate fuckers had gotten me a ticket in business class, at least—probably because it was too late to find an economy seat. I wanted to keep my shit together, but my eyes filled with tears as soon as I pulled out my suitcase and started organizing my stuff. I cried for a good while, my heart breaking at the thought of leaving the man I loved and all of this behind. I was going to miss everyone. I was going to miss Scotland.

  Later that night, after I had packed all my stuff, I met my ex-coworkers at our favorite spot.

  “This is a sob-fest. You guys suck. Some farewell party.” Cecilia, Oliver, Jake, Blair, and Rupert stared somberly at their drinks on the table. I thought my joke would wake them from their shock-induced stupor, but I was wrong.

  I looked around at my stone-faced colleagues, who still couldn’t comprehend why I had been fired. Not everyone knew about Hugh and me, and at this point, it didn’t even matter. It was better for them if they didn’t get involved. Plus, talking about us felt like a desecration. The memories we shared were so special to me, and I didn’t want to tarnish them.

  “Nora is not going to be happy,” Oliver said. “She hates when the network butts in like this. Do you think she knew about it?”

  I shook my head. “Nora wouldn’t do that to me. She’s my sister’s friend, and although we are not overly close, I know she respects my work. She wouldn’t do this.”

  “Do you think Hugh had a problem with you?” Rupert asked, oblivious.

  “No, I’m sure he didn’t have a problem with Sam,” Jake said in a snide tone. I could see from one look at him that he hadn’t believed me when I’d told him there was nothing going on between me and the Scot. I pressed my lips together and gave Jake a look, then I answered Rupert’s question. “Hugh and I get along great.”

  “We never even sang a duet together,” Cecilia pouted.

  “Shit. That’s right. How’s that possible?”

  “Because you’re a bloody competitive cow, Sam,” she said in a sad tone. She smiled somberly, and I put my arm around her.

  “Takes one to know one, my dear friend.”

  “Well, it’s no use mourning the time wasted. Let’s do a duet now!”

  I wasn’t in the mood to sing, but I didn’t want to say no to her. Besides, I thought maybe karaoke would get me out of the funk I was in. Wishful thinking. I couldn’t bear the thought of how or when Hugh would find out. I had no idea when he would exactly get into town. I was hoping I’d get to see him one last time.

  “Why this song?” I asked when she pointed out a title for us to sing.

  “Because it’s fun, and it’s just what we need to get out of our funk.”

  I nodded and went along with it.

  She wasn’t wrong.

  A smile stretched across my face as soon as we started singing Little Mix’s “Black Magic.” The rhythm was infectious, the lyrics were fun, and as everyone around us clapped and cheered, Cecilia and I celebrated our friendship in one of the best ways we knew. Toward the end of the song, as I danced along to the music with my fun, sassy roommate, my eyes scanned the crowd. I wanted to remember these people. They would forever hold a special place in my heart. I was sad to leave, but I knew I would never forget them, and maybe one day, I’d get to see and work with some of them again.

  Suddenly, I found a familiar pair of eyes watching me. The stern look on his face told me he knew, and my chest tightened once again at the thought of having to say good-bye to him. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to see his lips curl into that irresistible grin one more time.

  I did the only thing I could think of: I sang the last two choruses to him, pointing at him in the crowd, no longer caring who knew or what everyone thought of it. He was the only thing that mattered. I needed to let him know how much he meant to me.

  I hugged Cecilia as soon as the song was over, and we kissed on each cheek. I turned around to find Hugh in front of me, dangerous and delicious looking.

  I had missed him terribly, and now I had to say good-bye. He leaned down and captured my mouth in front of everyone, kissing me with the urgency of lovers who aren’t ready to part ways. His tongue circled mine over and over, possessing me in every way possible as the whole pub erupted in cheers and whistles. I was barely paying attention to the people around us, because in that moment, Hugh lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. Only then he did break the kiss, guiding us through the crowd, and I gasped for air as everyone waved good-bye.

  Hugh

  “You need to put me down,” she said, laughing as I kissed her neck and tickled her skin with my stubble.

  “Not a chance.”

  “Hugh, you can’t carry me all the way to your place.”

  “Watch me,” I muttered. I was going to carry her if it was the last thing I did. Besides, I needed to feel her; it was the only thing preventing me from losing my mind. As soon as we’d landed, we’d gotten wind of what had happened. To say I was furious was an understatement. If we hadn’t been so far into production and if I didn’t fear a lawsuit, I would have almost considered quitting the show altogether. But, as much as I hated what they’d done to Sam, I couldn’t quit.

  “Seriously, Hugh, put me down!”

  “The lady doth protest too much. As a matter of fact…” I grabbed her legs and put her down, just briefly. I took a deep breath and stare
d into her eyes for a moment.

  I needed her. I wanted her. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye.

  She adjusted her clothes and exhaled a deep breath through her nose. Her lips pressed into a line, and I noticed her eyes fill up with tears. I couldn’t bear the thought of my Sam crying.

  “Thank y—” I didn’t let her finish, instead grabbing her by her legs and throwing her over my shoulder, impatient to get home.

  “You insufferable Scottish caveman!” she yelled. “Put me down!” Her colorful, playful insults kept coming, but I could barely hear her over the sound of my own laughter.

  Sam

  I had been counting down the hours to when I would see him again. I was ready for one last night together. What I didn’t want or expect was to spend part of our precious time arguing about the future.

  “I don’t want you to leave,” he said with conviction.

  “I know. I don’t want to leave either, but I have to.”

  “You don’t have to. You could stay here with me.”

  “Come on, Hugh. Be serious. That’s not a realistic plan.” He gave me a piercing look, turning the smolder on. Damn him. It was like getting hypnotized. I put a hand between us and guarded my eyes so I wouldn’t fall for it. “Nope, nope, nope. You’re not doing this to me. I can’t stay here—it would only create more tension and more problems.”

  “You should get to stay,” he said, the tone of his voice sounding lighter. “Drop the hand, Sam. I need to look at you. I haven’t seen you in days. I missed you so much.” A certain familiar warmness radiated from my chest throughout my body upon hearing his words.