Shadow of the Moon, a Sea of Shadows ttk-1

by Fuyumi Ono

  When the man said, "that girl," he must be referring to herself. That meant he was … the Royal Kou.

  "But such a weak-hearted thing. She does not have the constitution to be a great king. You go all the way to Yamato, and that is what you bring back?"

  The man spoke to one of the beasts. It looked like a deer with only one horn. You could call it a "unicorn," but only in overall appearance. The mane was a luxuriant gold, the coat a more subdued yellow. The speckled pattern of colors on its back resembled that of a fawn, though these were strange and fantastic colors, glimmering faintly in the sunlight.

  "Good fortune does not seem to favor your masters, wouldn't you say, Kei Taiho?"

  Kei Taiho … then that was … Keiki.

  This is a kirin.

  She recognized the mountainous location as the road she had traveled from Hairou. What she had taken then for Keiki had been Kourin. What Jouyuu had called "Taiho" had been Keiki in his kirin form.

  Kourin said, "As she is a mere child, would it not be better to leave her to the elements? Two men of Kou have died. Please, can you not end all this?"

  She looked up at the Royal Kou, tears in her eyes. Youko had observed the same expression on her face at another time, in another place.

  "All men die," her lord answered. "Dust to dust."

  Even now, Youko did not perceive a flicker of humanity in him.

  "Heaven will not countenance such actions. Sow the wind and Kou will surely reap the whirlwind. Your lordship shall prove no exception."

  "I have already reaped the whirlwind. You lecture me in vain. I've come to the end of my tether. Kou will fall. And when Kou falls, Kei will fall as well. As God is my witness, I will drag the Royal Kei down into the depths with me."

  "How can you hate the taika so much?"

  The Royal Kou laughed a hollow laugh. "I don't hate them. I find them disgusting. Did you know that in that other world, a child is born from its mother's belly?"

  "I know. But what has that to do with this?"

  "Don't you think it filthy?"

  "I do not."

  "Well, I do. No taika born from a woman's belly belongs in this world. They should stay where they came from."

  "Heaven does not agree. Else why should taika be chosen as kings? What is filthy is to reject the Divine Will of Heaven."

  The Royal Kou smirked. "So I gather we won't be seeing eye to eye on this."

  "No, we shall not."

  "Still, I am your lord. You must follow my lead. Pursue her and kill her. She must not be allowed to escape Kou alive. Yes, the Imperial Army must be posted along the border with Kei."

  "Would it not be better to pay this unclean girl no mind? You call her a girl, you say she does not have the constitution to be a king, then why would you resort to murder to keep her from the throne?"

  "I will not have a taika king on the borders of my kingdom!"

  Kourin sighed deeply. "What, then, do you intend to do with the Kei Taiho?"

  "Give him to Joei. That'll shut up the province lords."

  "It may silence them for the time being, but it will not allay their suspicions for long. With his horn sealed, the Kei Taiho cannot return to human form. He cannot even speak. What kind of Taiho is that? You must not continue in this manner. Heaven will surely not overlook such indiscretions."

  "I never said that it would."

  "You may be resigned to your fate, but you forget your people."

  "The people of Kou are an unlucky lot. After I die, the next ruler may be of better stock. If you take the long view of things, then perhaps it's all for the better."

  "What are you saying?" Kourin again buried her face in her hands.

  The Royal Kou said in a blank, detached voice, "I was never meant to be a king." Perhaps he was already beyond hope, completely resigned to his fate. "Both you and Heaven chose badly, indeed."

  "This is not true."

  "True enough. My reign will end after only fifty years. En has stood for five hundred, Sou for almost six hundred. I am a mayfly compared to En and Sou, and yet I have reached my limit."

  "If you changed your heart now, your reign would be much longer."

  "That ship has already sailed, Taiho."

  Kourin hung her head.

  "This great task proved my stumbling block. I should have lived and died a provincial guard. Instead, I found myself blessed with this outrageous fortune, when I was not in the least qualified to accept it. A scant fifty years was the best I could do."

  "Do not call it scant. The reigns of many kings have been briefer."

  "So they have been. The late Empress of Kei, for one. And not just her. Kei has always been caught up in unrest, has fared far worse than Kou. Some of my subjects are ignorant enough to look at En and Sou and say how much poorer Kou is. But when compared to Kei, well, Kou is so much the better."

  "Neither En nor Sou were wealthy kingdoms to begin with."

  "I know. I did as much as I could. But for every step I take, the En and the Sou are two more ahead of me. And so Kou will be poorer than En and Sou forever. Simply put, I will never reach their level, never be their equal."

  "That is not so."

  "I can't compete with En and Sou. But Kei is different. Kei is poorer than Kou. But now, if a new king were to ascend to the throne and Kei were to become wealthier than Kou, then what? Kou alone impoverished? And I, the prince of fools who made it so?"

  "Will you lose the Mandate of Heaven over so slight a reason?"

  The Royal Kou did not answer the question. "Yamato is a wealthy country. Talk to the kaikyaku and you understand that very well. The En returned from Yamato, and his country is wealthy, too. Taika are different from those of us born in this world. When the kingdom of that En taika is so wealthy, why shouldn't I fear the Royal Kei? The taika know secret things that allow them to rule a country so. That's why, no matter what I do, I will never measure up."

  "You are talking nonsense."

  He smiled a faint, weary smile. "Yes, utter nonsense. I have come too far to back down now. And even if I did, the fate of Kou is set. Kou will go to ruin. I will die, and when I do, the Kei taika, too. We'll all go down together."

  You fool. The words came unbidden to Youko's lips, "What a jerk." The vision vanished. Exhausted, Youko set down the sword. "How could someone do something so stupid?"

  He didn't want to get left behind, but rather than seeking the cooperation of his neighbors, he would rather drag them down to his level. It happened all the time. God, did it happen all the time. But, still . . . .

  "If a king can't give a moment's thought to the suffering of his own people, he'll do the unthinkable just in order to pull off a dumb stunt like this."

  How many people would get caught up in this, how many would lose their lives? If Kou was destroyed, the damage would be unimaginable. Enki's words echoed in her head. People are idiots. And the more they suffer, the dumber they get.

  Flanked by the kingdoms of Kei and Sou--the Royal En and the Royal Sou never far from his mind--fifty years at the most, he had said. But how long a time was that to him? This was a road she could just as easily head down as well. The Kingdom of Kei was in the same position as Kou, vis-a-vis En and Sou. Was it possible she could start thinking the same way the Royal Kou did?

  "This is scary," she said to herself. "God, this is really scary."

  8-5

  Youko went out onto the terrace for a breath of night air. She saw she had a guest.

  "Rakushun."

  He was gazing out at the Sea of Clouds. He glanced over his shoulder, waved hello with his tail.

  "Can't sleep?" she asked.

  "I've been thinking about things."

  "Thinking about things?"

  Rakushun nodded. "How to get Youko to change her mind, things like that."

  Youko smiled wryly. She joined him as she had the night before. She leaned against the railing and looked down at the Sea of Clouds.

  "Can I ask you something?"

&
nbsp; "What?"

  "Why do you want me to be king?"

  "It's not a matter of me wanting. You are the king. You've been chosen by the kirin. But you keep trying to abdicate. So I keep trying to think of ways to stop you. When a king turns his back on his country, it's bad luck for both."

  "If I became king, it'd probably be even worse."

  "Not in this case."

  "Why not?"

  "Because you have what it takes to do the job."

  "I can't."

  "You can," Rakushun said and sighed. "Even now, why do you think so little of yourself?"

  "Because it's not just about me." Youko looked down at the waves crashing against the shore. "If it were just about me, then sure, I'd give it my best and see what happened. That is, if the responsibility were all mine and I'd be the only one who'd end up dead when I really screwed up. But that's not the case here."

  "The people of Kei await the day when they can return to their country."

  "Sure, to a wealthy, peaceful country. But that's not something I can give them."

  "It's not only about being chosen by the kirin. The Royal En says that anybody has the ability to become an enlightened monarch."

  "If that were true, then why is Kei in chaos? Why should Kou be? Even if that ability is there, it is no easy task bringing it to the fore."

  "But you will."

  "Groundless self-confidence is arrogance."

  Reproofed, Rakushun bowed his head.

  "This isn't about my self-esteem. If you think that's what my lack of self-confidence comes down to, then so be it. But I've got reasons for thinking so. I've learned a lot here, the most important of which, to put it simply, is that I'm an idiot."

  "Youko."

  "I don't get any pleasure from putting myself down. I'm an honest-to-goodness fool. Knowing that much about myself, I've finally gotten around to searching out the less stupid parts of me. That's what comes next, Rakushun. If I try my best and bit by bit can make myself an even slightly better person, then it'd be worth it. If being chosen by the kirin to be a king is proof that you are a good person, then that's something I ought to strive for. But that isn't me now. That's me a long time from now, after I've become a little less of a dunderhead."

  I see, Rakushun muttered to himself. He let go of the railing and paced around the wide veranda. "You're scared."

  "I sure am."

  "This big responsibility fell on your shoulders, and now you're scared stiff."

  "That's pretty much it."

  "Then you'd better hurry up and get Keiki back, Youko."

  When Youko looked at him, he was standing behind her, in her shadow. "You're not doing this all by yourself. What do you think the kirin are there for? Why do you think Heaven made it so that the kirin chooses the king and not the other way around? You call yourself contemptible, you say that you've acted despicably. If you say so, then who am I to contradict you? But when Keiki chose you, he must have thought those aspects of yourself necessarily as well."

  "What are you saying?"

  "Bring all the parts together to make the whole. You are insufficient by yourself, and so is Keiki. Isn't that why king and kirin were made to exist together? A kirin is a kind of hanjuu, half-human, half-beast. You say you are, too. Two halves make a whole, don't you see? The same way as with the Royal En and Enki."

  Youko nodded.

  "There are people who'd be ecstatic to become a king. Having the sense to get a little intimidated thinking about your people means you have the qualities to sit on the throne."

  "That's not it."

  "Trust Keiki."

  "But … . "

  "And trust yourself more. If it will take you five more years to grow into the crown, then why not start now? What's there to be afraid of?"

  "But … . "

  "Keiki chose you as king. Right now, no one else on earth will look to anyone but you as the Royal Kei. The Divine Will of Heaven is the will of the people. That means that no one else can bring about the happiness of the people of Kei. But don't try to gulp all this down at once. The people of Kei are your subjects. By the same token, you are a subject of Kei. "

  "Yeah, but … . "

  "If you wish to become a better person, accept the throne and become a better king. Do that and you will become a better person, will you not? The duties of a king are indeed heavy. But isn't it better that way? The more responsibilities a person willingly bears, the quicker the soul is honed."

  "And if I don't become this better person?"

  "If you have the will to better yourself, you will, regardless. The kirin and your subjects will be your instructors. With so many teachers, you won't remain a fool for long."

  For a long time, Youko stared silently at the sea. "If I become king, I won't be able to go home."

  "Do you want to?"

  "I don't know."

  "You don't know?"

  Youko nodded. "To be honest, my life in that other world wasn't so great. And I don't mind being here as much as I used to."

  "Of course not."

  "But ever since I came here, all I can think about is going back."

  "I understand."

  "My parents are there. My home, my friends. If you asked me, yes or no, are they good parents, are they good friends, I'd have a hard time answering. But it's not their fault. I was lacking as a human being, so the relationships I formed were lacking as well. But if I went back, I think I could do it right. Start all over from square one, make a place for myself in the world. I really regret being such a jerk. That's why I'd like to have the chance to do it over again."

  Her tears spilled down onto her hands, still grasping the handrail. "Even if I couldn't make it all right, even if that is not the world I truly belong to, I still miss it. I never said goodbye. If I'd had the time to prepare myself, I don't think it would hurt this much. But I left it all behind without a single word of farewell."

  "So you did."

  "And not only that. I've been telling myself all along that I wanted to go home, that I was definitely going home. It's tough giving up what's kept me going this whole time."

  "I know."

  "If I went home, I would regret it for sure. And if I don't, I'll regret it as well. No matter what I do, I'm going to hurt. I want both, but I have to choose only one."

  A soft, warm hand touched her cheek, wiping away the tears.

  "Rakushun … . "

  "Don't turn around. I'm not really presentable right now."

  She found herself laughing and crying at the same time.

  "C'mon, don't laugh. I can't help it. My rat hands won't reach."

  "I guess not."

  "You know, Youko. When you don't know which choice is the best, then you should choose the path you ought to take, rather than the one you wish for. You know you are going to regret the path not taken. But regrets being more or less equal, better the one where the regret is even a bit less."

  "I know."

  "And if you go with what you ought to do, then all that remains is the wishful thinking you had to give up to do the right thing. Such regrets should rest easier on the mind in the long run, should it not?"

  "Yes."

  The hand clasped against her cheek was warm. "I really want to see what kind of kingdom you are going to build, Youko."

  "Thank you, Rakushun."

  8-6

  On the day of the raid on Iryuu, Youko was given use of a species of flying horse called a kitsuryou. The kitsuryou had a red mane, white stripes covered its coat, and it had gorgeous golden eyes. Jouyuu knew how to ride a horse.

  "You're welcome to stay in Kankyuu," said the En, but Youko did not agree. With as many as six thousand troops defending Iryuu, even one more rider could make a difference. Moreover, there was the matter of Keiki, not to mention that this was the business of the Kingdom of Kei. It would not do for her to stay hidden.

  To face the En and Enki, who had ruled their kingdom continuously for five-hundred years, and declare, I s
hall go forth, required as much courage as she could muster. She still knew almost nothing of this world, nothing of how a kingdom actually ran, nothing of its political structure. She hardly had the right to call herself a king.

  That was why she had no choice but to go forth, despite how reckless it might appear. If war was what was called for, then to war she would go. And because she could only keep going forward once the ball started rolling, locking herself away in Gen'ei Palace was unacceptable.

  Not only Youko, but Rakushun refused as well the safe haven of the palace. She insisted in the strongest terms that he remain behind, but he would not be cowed. Consequently, Enki said that Rakushun could be of use to him, and they left together for Kei. A kirin could not abide bloodshed and Enki would not accompany them into battle. Instead, he and Rakushun would visit the provinces that had fallen to the pretender's army and try to persuade them to see the reality of the situation.

  A hundred and twenty beasts flew across the Sea of Clouds. The pretender's army numbered twenty thousand. Of those, a good five thousand were concentrated in Sei Province. This, the En pointed out, was not a force a hundred and twenty could go up against.

  "The objective is Keiki alone. If we can rescue Keiki, then we can play for time. If we can sow doubt within the ranks of the pretender's army, convince them that what they are so vigorously defending is merely the pretender herself, then all the better. If only three of the province lords can be brought around, then the tide will turn."

  The first step in that process was taking back Keiki. Youko asked, "Can we carry the day with only a hundred and twenty?"

  The En laughed. "For the time being, the soldiers I have gathered may not be so great as to take on a thousand each. It is sufficient that they each be the equal of ten. Furthermore, they are thinly defended above the Sea of Clouds. There aren't that many who can fight and fly. Our opponents are likely unaware that the Royal Kei is in our care. I came to get you myself in order to keep them in the dark."

  So that was why the En ventured all the way to Youshou by himself.

  "And, well, I was curious about what kind of a person this Royal Kei was. But that's why Joei is unlikely to believe that En would ever invade. Even if she did, coming over the Sea of Clouds with a cavalry of a mere one hundred and twenty, they won't see us coming. After that, it all depends on you."