No, she was right. He’d known exactly what he was doing. How could he tell her that he’d planned to get her pregnant because he was so desperate to find a way to tie her to him? You couldn’t do that with someone, not ever. If someone didn’t want to be with you, it was better to let them go, because the alternative was way worse. Why hadn’t he figured that out before?
Her cell phone started ringing. It was muffled from where it was tucked inside her navy handbag, sitting on the dresser. He watched her as she reached for it and didn’t miss the way she hesitated before turning away slightly to answer it. At any other time, he’d have stayed and listened, then asked her who it was. But he’d lost interest. He was so tired of her secrets and holding back, so he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
He was just getting out of the shower when he heard the door. Maybe she’d ordered room service. He hadn’t thought of it. He pulled on his clothes and started out of the bathroom, the fan stirring the steam from the shower in the background. He stopped short when he saw Samuel inside his room, not missing the way his brother took in both beds. Jill was dressed in yesterday’s clothes, her wet hair slicked back.
Jake hadn’t seen Samuel since Christmas, and this was the first time he’d seen him with his hair cut so short, Beckham style. Its messy look and the expression on his face said just how pissed he was.
“Great, this is just great,” Jake muttered as he walked past the two of them. At this point, he just wanted some coffee. He sat on the bed and pulled on a clean pair of socks.
The energy in the room was stifling. No one said anything.
“So you run down here, to my brother?” Samuel snapped. He paced and then leaned against the wall. This hotel room wasn’t big enough for the three of them.
“Look, Samuel, things have gotten more complicated.”
“I’ll say,” Jake said. “Look, you two want to talk or have it out or whatever it is you want to do, you go for it.” Jake reached for his wallet on the nightstand and tucked it into his back pocket. “I’m going to go for coffee, grab a bite to eat.” Then he paused. He had to ask, he had to know. “So is this who phoned, Jill? My brother? And you invited him up.”
At one time, he and Samuel had been so close. Never in a million years could he have imagined the chill between them now. It was sad to know their relationship and the closeness they’d had was gone.
“Yeah, I called her. Why did you up and run, Jill? I came home from work, and you were gone, and then I found your note. We’ve talked about this already. We decided it was better not to say anything.”
“No, you talked. I listened. This isn’t right, Samuel. This could be your brother’s baby.”
What the fuck? The way she said it had Jake glancing up as he reached for his keys, turning ever so slowly and staring at her. “What the hell is going on? Could be my baby—are you kidding me? What kind of games are you playing, Jill?” he snapped and then glanced his brother’s way.
Samuel was shaking his head. He could be so pigheaded sometimes, but this was the first time Jake had ever felt as if his brother were trying to screw him over. It stung more than anything. Something was going on, and he couldn’t help feeling as if they were treading on thin ice. No one was ever going to make decisions for him, not ever.
Jill was looking down at her fingers, a slight blush on her cheeks. She didn’t answer him, and Samuel was staring at her hard as if waiting her out and expecting her to say what needed to be said.
“Somebody better say something.”
Samuel pushed away from the wall and took a step toward Jake. It was amazing: Jill didn’t even look up as her hand shot out and to Samuel’s chest, holding him back. She must have been used to dealing with his fiery personality. She still didn’t say a word.
“I’m waiting, and I’m not liking what you two are up to,” Jake said. “Stop messing with me and tell me already.”
Jill was still touching Samuel while standing in Jake’s hotel room, not a scenario he wanted. It hurt that he finally understood he’d always come second to his brother with Jill. Whatever was going on, they’d discussed it and planned together, and Jake was the odd man out.
“Jill, are you going to tell him, or should I?” Samuel was going all alpha on her, and she started to say something to him, giving him all her attention. No one needed to fill in any more blanks or explain to him that he didn’t stand a chance here. But then, he realized, this was a fight that had long since lost any appeal for him.
“Tell me what? Someone better fill me in.”
“Samuel, I can’t. It’s not right.” Jill was talking as if he wasn’t even in the same room.
“We’re getting married,” Samuel said.
“Stop it, Samuel! Jake, I was kidding myself. I was angry and hurt over what Samuel did, but I never stopped loving him. I realized, when you asked me to marry you, that I couldn’t love you like that. You were my friend. I love you like a friend, my best friend. When I found out I was pregnant, I hoped it wasn’t yours.”
“It may still not be. You don’t know that for sure. We won’t know until the baby’s born.” Samuel touched her hand.
Jake didn’t know what came over him. He let out a rough laugh that didn’t make him feel any better in this messed-up situation. “Oh my good God, Jill. So you left me, went back to my brother, and hopped right into bed with him? Talk about blurred lines, baby. You knew before that you could have been pregnant with my kid, so I’m confused about why you’re here. I thought you came here to do the right thing—or is it that you’re trying to figure out which brother to marry?”
“No! I came here to tell you I was pregnant, but I know you already knew, because you asked me on the phone. You have no idea how many times the question crossed my mind when I found out. Did you plan this? And yes, I slept with your brother, and maybe it was wrong of me to do what I did, but I can’t help the way I feel. I love Samuel. I always will.”
Jake was trying to figure out how to make sense of this situation. He knew that of all the stupid-ass, clingy things he’d done, not using protection was something he’d never thought he’d stoop to. He wished now he could go back and undo all of it.
“You went after my girl, Jake,” Samuel snapped.
“No! The moment you moved in on another woman in front of her, you lost her, but then, Jill, you seem to have forgotten all of that. Maybe you two do deserve each other.”
Samuel could move fast when he wanted to, and he had Jake pushed back over the dresser. A clock fell to the floor, a tray of glasses crashing to the carpet with it. Jake was caught off guard, but he jammed his hands between them and punched Samuel in the stomach, then elbowed him in the face to get him to back off. Blood dripped from his nose, and Jill yelled, moving between them.
Jake brushed past them and pulled open the door. “Samuel, I want you gone by the time I get back.” He glanced back at his brother and the woman he’d been twisted up inside over and then left, letting the door close behind him. He didn’t wait for the elevator but pushed open the door to the stairwell, pounding down the stairs two at a time so he could get outside, get some air, and figure out what the hell he was going to do next.
Chapter 16
When Jake let himself back into his hotel room, he expected it to be empty. Instead, he found Jill sitting on the bed with a tear-stained face. When she glanced up at him, she looked so miserable.
“I’m so sorry, Jake,” she whispered, and she really sounded as if she was.
He squeezed the paper cup of lukewarm coffee as he walked into the room, looking around just to make sure his brother wasn’t still there. “Where’s Samuel?”
“He left. I told him I needed to talk to you, which is why I came last night.”
He nodded and sat in the chair against the wall. Jill clasped her hands and shoved them between her legs. She looked so nervous, something he’d never seen in her before, not with him.
“Are you staying with my brother?” he asked. Maybe he
needed all the ugly truth.
“Yes, I am. I know without a doubt that I love Samuel in a way I can’t love you. I need to be with him. I wish I could love you, because you’re better for me.” She appeared so sad.
Jake nodded. At one time, this would have gutted him. Now he just felt numb. “So what are your plans?”
“That all depends on you.”
“I don’t see how any of this depends on me.” He gestured in the air, because he couldn’t figure out what she really wanted. He realized, too, that he never had understood Jill or what she was thinking.
She sighed. It sounded so soft, as if she’d put a lot of thought into whatever it was she needed to say. “You are an amazing man, Jake Wilde, and you are the best friend a girl could ever have. I never really thought of the consequences of what I was doing with you. It really sunk in when Samuel came after me. Seeing him here this morning…you and Samuel, as close as you once were, will end up hating each other. I don’t want that. I need you to forgive me, to forgive him. I’m responsible for this, and I don’t want to carry that.”
Was she serious? “Jill, it doesn’t work that way. I can’t just forgive and forget.”
“Then do it for me. Please, Jake, I don’t think I can live with the fact that I was the reason that you and Samuel hate each other. You two were best friends, and if you’re honest with yourself, Jake, you aren’t entirely blameless here. You were his brother, and even though what he did was really bad, you moved in on me, your brother’s ex. I was vulnerable.”
He hated having someone point out something he already knew. After all, it was Logan who’d first warned him how he was walking on dangerous ground. “You were willing, Jill, so it’s not all on me.”
“No, it’s not. I hold a lot of blame here. I was hurt and not thinking clearly, and you provided me a strong shoulder to lean on. What happened was inevitable, I think. You’re charming, you’re unbelievably handsome, you’re a great listener, and you made me feel better.”
“But you never loved me.” Even as he said it, it stung, but not as it once had. He was sad.
“No, I wanted to. Tried to convince myself that I did, but you can’t make yourself love someone.”
“And the baby?” He had to know what was going through her head. “You left me and went right back to my brother and climbed into his bed, and now you have no idea if it’s his or mine. Did you do it deliberately?” He’d never thought she’d be capable of something like that, knowing she might be pregnant with his kid and sleeping with someone else so she’d never really know.
“Yes, I did.”
“So you really don’t know whose baby this is?”
A tear slid down her face, and she shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. It just happened.”
“If this is mine, I won’t simply walk away, you know. This child will have a father, and it won’t be Samuel. It will be me.”
“He feels the same. The thing is, though, Jake, I love him, and I want to have a future with Samuel. I need you to be okay with this, to be okay with me and Samuel. I need you to let Samuel raise this baby, to let it go, for you to be okay with it being his.”
“What is this, Jill? You show up here last night, barge in on me and my friend, and practically chase her out of here, making me feel as if I cheated on you. Are you expecting me to be waiting on the sidelines, alone?”
She stood up from the bed, her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me, but I didn’t expect you to be here with another woman, and I was jealous. I didn’t have a right to be, I know that. All I can say is I’m sorry.”
“I see.” And he did see.
She reached for her bag and slipped it over her shoulder.
“So where is Samuel?”
“He’s waiting for me downstairs.”
“So what happens now?” He watched as she fiddled with her strap, nervous.
“I am going back to Seattle with Samuel. I’m going to marry him. I need this to work, Jake. I need you to let us be so we can move on. When the baby’s born, I’ll let you know whose it is.”
“What, and we let the chips fall where they may?”
She sighed and looked up. “I’m sorry, Jake. I never meant to hurt you, but this is the way it needs to be.”
If it had been any other time, he’d have stood up, gone to her, and said anything to change her mind. He’d have gone after her, fought for her, but that time had long since passed. What Jake did, as he lounged in that hotel chair, was wonder why the choices he’d made had turned out so badly.
Chapter 17
Chris taped up the last of the boxes in her living room. It had been a quick decision, but after listening to Myles, she’d realized he made a lot of sense. It was time to leave Phoenix and make a new start. She knew she couldn’t be that girl, hung up on a guy, pining for him, always waiting and watching from the sidelines. It would eat her up to the point that she knew she’d become bitter, and she didn’t want to go there. She’d quit her job, the team, and had nothing else left to do except wait for Myles to show up with the truck to have her stuff loaded and shipped to his new place in Nashville. She’d stay with him for now. It would be better. It would be good enough until she found her feet again, a job. Maybe it was time to go to law school. She had a lot to consider and time to do it.
There was a knock on her door. It had to be Myles. He’d said he just needed to run home and then he’d be back.
“So did you forget the key I gave you?” She opened the door smiling, and it froze on her lips. Jake was leaning in the doorway, wearing blue jeans and a fitted green t-shirt. She sucked in a breath. She knew how good he looked naked and how great he felt doing all those wonderful, naughty things to her.
For a minute, they just stared at each other.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
She should’ve said no, close the door in his face, but the way he watched her, staring her down, she just couldn’t. She was a sucker for this man. So she stepped aside and let him in, shutting the door. She watched him take in her small one bedroom with the stacked boxes taped up and ready to be carried out.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“I’m going to Nashville. Myles got a position coaching, and I’m going with him. Decided it was time for a fresh start.” It was true, and the fact was that she couldn’t bear seeing Jake on that football field anymore…standing on the sidelines, cheering the team, cheering Jake. Sleeping with Jake had been the best and most humiliating experience of her life.
“Why are you leaving?”
She couldn’t believe he was asking her that. Why would he care? She’d be gone. He should’ve been relieved she was going and he wouldn’t have to see her again. She was making this easy for him.
“One too many mistakes, I think,” she said—but sleeping with Jake hadn’t been a mistake. She’d loved it, and she wanted more, but she wasn’t going down that road again. It was a heartache she knew would eventually rip her apart, and this time she didn’t know if she’d be able to put herself back together.
“Like me, am I a mistake?” He stepped closer to her but didn’t touch her. His eyes were filled with intense hurt and confusion and something else she couldn’t make sense of.
“Jake, you have your girlfriend back, and I’m not interested in being someone’s seconds. I like myself. I’m a good person, and I have feelings. I hurt, I bleed. Let’s just chalk it up to a fun night we had and leave it at that.”
“I don’t have Jill back.” He leaned against her bookshelf, so close to her that she could’ve reached out and touched him. The way he said it, she wondered if he was mourning the loss. She couldn’t figure it out, but then, did she really want to?
“What happened? I mean, the girl who showed up at the door was far from pleased to see me, and the way she threw herself at you—”
“She’s pregnant,” he bit out. “But she thinks it may be my brother’s. She doesn’t know.”
“So…I don’t understand.” She til
ted her head, because she really didn’t get it.
“My brother showed up, too. Apparently, she plans to marry him.”
She wanted to say a lot of things about how fucked up that sounded. What was wrong with that woman, Jake, and his brother? From where she was standing, thinking back on that humiliating moment and all that Jake had shared, it appeared as if this girlfriend couldn’t figure out what she wanted. Maybe she wanted both men. “So where does that leave you?”
“Where does that leave me?” he asked, sounding confused by her question. “Hell, I don’t know, but I know I don’t want any of that situation.”
The way he was watching her, Chris wanted to step back and move farther away. “I’ll never play seconds to anyone, Jake, and I’m not an afterthought.”
“Of course you’re not. Chris, you’re wonderful, you’re my friend, and I never realized how much I’ve come to care for you in such a short time. When Jill came back, I realized how wrong I’d been. You were right about so many things. Jill and I could never work. She’s not you.”
“And the baby? What are you going to do when the baby comes?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but if it’s my kid, I want a relationship with it. I will be involved. What kind of man would I be if I just walked away?”
“That’s good, Jake. Doesn’t sound like a great situation.” No, it sounded like Jill had run straight to his brother and climbed into bed—not something she could ever do. This was a woman Chris didn’t want to know.
“It’s the worst, considering they’d both like me to go away.” He was confiding in her like the buddy she’d become to him, a crutch to lean on, but she couldn’t be that person anymore, not with Jake.
“Did you know that I was involved with Troy Sutherland?” she said. Why was she telling him this? She’d never told anyone. It was too painful to share how pathetic she’d become.
He frowned, and she could see him thinking. “He played right wing with the Cardinals before he was traded,” he replied. He appeared to be wondering why she’d brought him up.
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