Slow and Steady 1

by J. H. Croix

  I knew this mess was, well, a fucking mess. I didn’t quite know if she understood how concerned I was. She was a strong, independent woman. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d told me to back the fuck off. I was grateful that she’d agreed to stay with me.

  Her text seemed so formal though. I didn’t know how to interpret that.

  Niki was taking up too much real estate in my brain today. Damn. Not just today.

  Since I met her, she’d been teasing the edges of my thoughts. A fact I probably should’ve considered before I insisted she stay at my place.

  After Maclin’s warning about her, protectiveness had taken hold of me, driving my need to make sure she was safe. I couldn’t say I’d thought anything through. I’d meant to explain what was going on and—And what? Hell if I knew.

  When I told her she had to come with me, I wasn’t intending to take her to my house. Much less ask her to stay there with me, but my inner alpha reared his head and demanded we personally ensure her safety.

  The result of my sudden fit of protectiveness was she was now way too close for comfort. I was insanely attracted to her and needed to remember why I couldn’t act on it. Getting involved with her would be a new level of stupidity, even for me. Talking my body into this was no easy feat. In fact, I was certain that was impossible.

  Except that you’re already involved with her. A snarky voice in my head pointed out. She’s living with you.

  I sighed, trying to ignore that voice even though I knew it was right. Niki was caught in the middle all because she happened to work at the library. And now she was staying with me. Try as I might to deny it, she was already involved with me. I was already very much involved with her.

  After she agreed to stay with me for the time being, I took her to her place and helped her carry a few bags to my truck. My sense of protectiveness had only swelled further with every practical step.

  It was all kinds of messed up, but I liked knowing she was going to be staying at my place. For more reasons than it would be easier to keep her safe if she was there.

  The woman drew me in like a moth to a flame. I couldn’t remember ever being this attracted to someone I hadn’t touched. Yet.

  No. I told myself firmly. No touching your new roommate.

  That was how I had to think of her as, a roommate—a temporary, very sexy roommate. I was going to have to learn to live with my fantasies about her because I couldn’t seem to shake them no matter what I did. It didn’t help to catch her sky-blue gaze and watch it darken with need. I tried to tell myself that wasn’t desire I saw, but my body had other ideas.

  Having her nearby had my body thrumming on high idle with need lashing at me.

  It had already made for one very uncomfortable night’s sleep and a cold shower that turned into a long one this morning when the icy water didn’t help a damn thing. I had a feeling I was in for a lot more of those.

  Chief Harris had agreed to give me some time off work the second I asked. I got the sense he was relieved I was voluntarily taking a step back and staying out of Maclin’s way. I made a few stops on the way home after I was done at the station, but no matter what I did, Niki stayed on my mind.

  By the time I got home, I was anxious to see her, to make sure she was safe.

  I didn’t calm down until I walked into the house and heard her in the kitchen. Pausing to get a fucking grip, I listened to the soft music floating from the kitchen.

  This was new. I was used to coming home to a quiet, empty house. Not that it had ever bothered me. I was usually ready to relax and unwind after a busy day at the station.

  I could hear her humming along to the music and scents drifting from the kitchen—a spicy chicken scent with fragrant herbs and vegetables. A slow smile stretched across my face. Unexpectedly, I liked coming home to this.

  “Smells great in here,” I called out, walking into the kitchen.

  Niki was standing at the stove, spinning around when she heard me. A shy smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I hope you don’t mind me digging around in your kitchen. I was hungry and thought I’d get a head start on dinner.”

  “That’s fine,” I murmured, struggling to keep my eyes from dropping. As it was, my throat went dry and my fingers twitched, wanting to reach for her.

  Niki was dressed in black shorts and a black tank top. Usually, her choice of clothing left a lot to the imagination. This outfit showed more skin than I’d ever seen from her.

  The effect it had on me was immediate.

  The curves of her breasts swelled under the tank, with a hint of cleavage at the top. In her shorts with her feet in flip-flops and her toenails painted pink, her legs looked a mile long. My eyes traced the toned length of them, slowly tracking back upward, savoring the sweet curve of her ass.

  “Do you like chicken?” she asked, twirling the ends of her braid between her fingers.

  Forcing my mind off of what it would feel like to cup her ass and tug every inch of her against me, I grinned. “I do. What’re we having?”

  “It’s a masterpiece.” She turned back to the stove and lifted the lid off a pan, angling her body so I could see its contents and waving at it with flourish. “Chicken and veggies. I’m sure there’s a fancier name for it, but that’s what it comes down to. Our options were limited. You weren’t kidding about not being much of a chef.”

  “I wasn’t, but if you are, we can go shopping tomorrow.”

  Turning off the burner, she dished the food onto plates already waiting beside the stove and passed one to me. “I wouldn’t say I’m a chef, but I can keep us alive.”

  “This looks delicious,” I told her, carrying my plate over to the dining room table. I hardly ever came in here to eat, but Niki made it look homey. “Thanks for doing this. You didn’t have to.”

  “I know, but I wanted to.” She settled in across the table from me, the fading light of the sunset outside illuminating her from behind. Damn, she was beautiful. “How was your day?”

  It was possibly the most domestic moment of my life, but it didn’t bother me as much as I might’ve thought it would. “Nothing exciting. My boss approved some time off. I have a ton of vacation time, so it wasn’t a big deal. Yours?”

  Delicately taking a bite of her chicken, she swallowed it down with some water before answering me. “I read pretty much all day. So it was perfect, thanks.”

  “No unexpected visitors?” A part of me worried all day that the assholes who kept hounding her at the library might not stop simply because she wasn’t there anymore. I knew it was unlikely they would come to my house, which was why she was here, but I needed to be sure.

  Pulling her chin slightly closer to her chest and tilting her head, she narrowed her eyes. “No. Do you think those men in suits would come here?”

  I shook my head. “Not unless they’re monumentally stupid, it being private property and all, but I wanted to check.”

  The ghost of a smile touched her lips. “I suppose they’re not quite that stupid, then.”

  “Suppose so.” I mused. “The library must’ve been an attractive spot for them to try intimidate you because it’s public, but quiet and anyone is allowed in at any time. Here, people would notice two unknown men hovering around the house. I doubt they’ll reach out to you here.”

  She blanched, her eyes suddenly dropping to her plate. I set down my fork as calmly as I could, given the warning flares shooting up and around my brain. Something had happened. “What is it?”

  “I… uh...” She fidgeted with her cutlery, pushing her food around as she intently avoided my eyes. “It’s just when you said they wouldn’t reach out to me, I realized there was something I forgot to tell you.”

  “What?” Panic seeped in and greeted me like an old, hated friend as it gripped my gut.

  “I got a call the other night when I stayed at Karen’s. I would’ve told you right away, but it was really late.”

  I reached across the stopped and gently lay my hand across hers to s
top the nervous fidgeting. I wanted her to know I was here for her now. “That’s okay, it slipped your mind. Who called you?”

  “I don’t know.” She told me earnestly, lifting her gaze to mine. “They didn’t say anything when I answered and then hung up a few seconds later.”

  Fuck. So they had reached out to her. “Has it happened again?”

  “No.” She shook her head emphatically. “Only that one time. I’ve already decided not to answer any unknown callers again for the time being, but there hasn’t been anything.”

  “Good.” I stroked the tops of her knuckles. “That’s good.”

  I was an idiot for not seeing it coming. I wasn’t about to make her change her number or anything drastic like that, but there were apps I could’ve installed to minimize the risk of this happening. Or at least for her not have known they’d even so much as tried to call.

  Later, I would get to work on that. And then I would give myself a mental lashing for not thinking about doing it in the first place. Too much on my mind these days, such as the girl in front of me.

  Seeing how tense the brief conversation made her, I longed to see her as at ease as she was when I got home. “Let’s forget about that for tonight and just relax. What were you reading all day?”

  Her cheeks tinged with red, but she swallowed whatever was causing it down. “A romance novel. I was supposed to be starting a true crime series this week, but I decided against it.”

  “Life enough ‘true crime’ right now?”

  She nodded. “More than enough.”

  Romance. Could be interesting. “Is it any good?”

  She flushed a deeper shade of pink. “It’s okay. If you’re into that kind of thing.”

  Color me intrigued. “What kind of thing?”

  “Bondage,” she said, without batting an eye.

  I nearly choked on my water. “Are you?”

  Taking another bite of her food, she casually asked. “Am I?”

  “Into that.”

  “Oh.” Her gaze broke away from mine, poking at a carrot on her plate with her fork. “I don’t think so. Did you go to college?”

  Swift change of topic. Obviously, she didn’t want to dwell on her reading choices, but my curiosity burned about it. “I did. Got a degree in law enforcement. You?”

  “Masters in Greek Mythology,” she said with a hint of pride in her tone, but then she frowned. “I’ve never used my degree, but I’m still glad I did it.”

  “Master’s student.” I knew she was intelligent, but that was more than I’d expected. “Impressive.”

  “Not really.” She shrugged, spearing her last few vegetables and clearing her plate. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m kind of all right with books. And that’s all studying is, if you think about it.”

  “Well, we will have to agree to disagree.” Modesty was one thing, but Niki was dismissing a major accomplishment. “I’m impressed. Getting a Master’s is more than just being good with books. You’re a smart woman.”

  “Thanks.” Still refusing to make eye contact, she reached over to take my plate. Only then did I realize it was empty. I’d been so fixated on her I forgot I was eating. “I’ll be right back.”

  She took the plates and made her way to the kitchen, back a few minutes later with a beer for each of us. We talked while we drank, laughing and comparing notes on growing up as one of five, versus as an only child. Hours passed without any silence until Niki yawned, glancing at her watch. “I should go wash up. It’s getting late.”

  “Let me help. You cooked, washing the dishes is the least I can do.”

  She smiled, jerking her head to the kitchen. “We’ll see if you can handle it.”

  “I don’t cook much, doesn’t mean I can’t do dishes,” I informed her, following her out of the dining room. I was trying to be a good roommate, but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice the swing of her hips when she walked or how those shorts hugged her ass.

  She already had everything soaking in the basin, and I reluctantly tore my eyes from her to focus on doing what I promised her I could. Halfway through my attempt, she bumped my hip with hers and laughed. “At this rate, we’ll be here all night. Let me.”

  She took over, ignoring my protests by throwing the towel she was using to dry at me. “We’re switching. I’ll wash, you can dry.”

  “Okay, but I want a rematch tomorrow.” I took the rag and did my job, packing away the dishes as I finished with them.

  When we were done, Niki stayed at the sink, wiping it down. She was humming again, a vaguely familiar tune softly emanating from her.

  Coming up behind her, I reached for the towel, my hand brushing her hip as I did. She froze but didn’t move away. What?

  My senses prickled, my skin burning to touch her. A faint vanilla scent drifted to me, making me take a step closer to her. I could feel warmth radiating from her, drawing me in.

  Encouraged when she took a tiny step back to close the distance between our bodies, I ran my hands up her back. Slowly, giving her plenty of time to turn away.

  She didn’t.

  Fuck me. Did she want this too? I’d caught the desire flickering in her eyes, but I didn’t think she would act on it. Emboldened as she leaned into my touch, I lifted a hand to brush a few hairs that had escaped her braid from the back of her neck. A shiver ran through her at my touch.

  “You cold?” I whispered, afraid if I raised my voice I would break whatever spell this was.

  She shook her head, staying still. “No,” she murmured, her voice husky.

  Though I’d been damn busy telling myself I couldn’t act on my desire for her, my mind grew fuzzy being this close to her. All I wanted was her. Now. Dipping my head, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to the nape of her neck. Her skin was soft and warm.

  She gasped. “Hmm.”

  “Too much?” My lips brushed her neck, causing another shiver. Fuck. So responsive.

  Shaking her head again, she whispered. “No, but you need to know something.”

  “Okay.” I rested my hands on her hips, my face inches from her hair. “What?”

  “I’m, uhm. I—” Her shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. Her hands curled over mine, keeping them in place as she turned to face me. Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes dark and her pupils dilated. “I haven’t done this before.”

  “This?” Kissed in a kitchen? Stayed with someone? My brain was shutting down, more than ready to hand the reins over to my body for the rest of the night.

  Niki closed her eyes, leaning her forehead briefly against me as she muttered. “I’m a virgin.”

  What the hell? A virgin? Those existed after high school?

  Fuck.

  Me.

  Sideways.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Niki

  Sonny blinked, his eyes widening. He tried to pull his hands away from me, but I held onto them. I hadn’t planned for this. Well, not with him specifically and certainly not tonight, but I always held onto the thought that if I met someone and the moment felt right, I’d go for it. With need sliding through my veins and heat blooming from my core, I wasn’t letting this moment pass me by.

  The moment felt right, but I also knew it took two to tango. I knew some men got freaked out about being with a virgin and worried about the weight of expectations.

  Maybe for some women, it was like that, but I wasn’t one of them. I wasn’t saving myself for marriage. I didn’t harbor any illusions about sex being anything other than a physical act until it wasn’t. I wouldn’t expect anything from Sonny.

  A lock of his jet black hair fell across his forehead. I brushed it back, letting my hand rest on his cheek as I looked up into his mesmerizing eyes.

  Steeling myself and letting my desire push me forward, I forged ahead. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Sonny. You’re the first man I’ve ever wanted this way. If you don’t want to do anything with me, we’ll call it a night and go to bed. Separately. No hard feelings.” />
  “Don’t want to do anything with you?” he asked incredulously. “Trust me, that’s not it. I don’t want to stop. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you, or of our situation.”

  “You’re not.” I kept my eyes on his, not even trying to mask my need. “I want this. I don’t want you to think the virginity thing is a big deal. It’s not. It’s just I haven’t gotten around to it.”

  A flash of self-consciousness rose inside, my cheeks heating.

  “We don’t have to take this all the way,” he said, his gruff voice sending a hot shiver through me. His grip tightened on my hips. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

  “I know.” I hadn’t known him all that long, but I trusted him implicitly. There was something about him. I knew I was safe with him. “I also know you’ll stop if I ask you to.”

  “Of course.” He looked horrified I’d even felt the need to say that. “Let’s take it slow and see what happens, okay?”

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  Sonny’s lips stretched into a slow smile, sending my belly spinning in flips. Releasing my hip to bring his hand to the nape of my neck, his thumb traced along the underside of my jaw. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

  “Please,” I breathed, tilting my head up to grant him easier access.

  He lowered his mouth to mine slowly, taking his time, or maybe giving me time to change my mind. Hell no. There was no turning back. I had this chance, and I wasn’t letting it slip past me. His lips brushed mine in the lightest of caresses. I sucked in a quick breath. Feeling his lips curl into a smile against mine, I leaned up into him.

  Sonny took the hint, his lips brushing again and fitting his mouth over mine. He kissed me tenderly, slowly at first. My pulse skittered wildly, my breath coming in short pants. This wasn’t my first kiss, but it sure felt like it was. The other boys I kissed were just that—boys.

  Sonny kissed like a man—masterful and commanding. A man who knew what he wanted and, impossibly, he wanted me. We could’ve kissed for a minute or an hour. Time blurred into sensation. My arms wrapped around his neck of their own accord, my body coming flush against his as I arched into him.