A Time for Hope

by T Gephart

  “D will get over it. So you called Steve and he told you where I was?” Admittedly I hadn’t been too hard to find, other than not telling anyone where I was going. I hadn’t gone to any great lengths to cover my tracks.

  “Yes. When I found out you were here, I lost my mind Lexi. I thought we had agreed that you would keep away from him? I know you don’t like being told what to do, but this is insanity.” He gently brushed his hand against my cheek.

  “Alex, I never agreed to anything. I’m not deliberately trying to be difficult, but this is who I am. You knew this when you married me. I’m not going to be that girl who is going to sit around and wait for her man to take care of shit.” I knew this was not the kind of relationship he wanted, but things had been a lot easier when we had first met. How crazy had my life gotten when my past was categorised as easy? Looking around the room we were still standing in, the echoes of Nick’s proposition were still in my mind and the answer was evident. Shit had gotten—to borrow a term from my Groupie Whore alter-ego—Cray-Cray.

  “I know Lexi, and the reason I love you is because of the way you are. I love your independence, and I even love that smart mouth of yours, but you’ve got to cut me some slack here.” He lifted my chin, his beautiful blue eyes focused on me.

  “Let’s get out of here. It seems every time we are in this place we end up fighting. I don’t imagine you got nearly enough rehearsal time, and I’m not going to be impressed if I have to explain to the press why you not only look tired but sound tired as well.” I wanted to tell him everything, just not here and definitely not now. Soon. Tonight when we would be alone, I made my silent promise.

  “Agreed, if I never see this place again it will be too soon.” He wrapped his arms around me as he pulled me close. “And I would worry less about my possible fatigue and more about your own. I haven’t forgotten my earlier promise to you and now we have to add make up sex into the mix as well.”

  “Yet, we are still standing here. And you think I talk too much.”

  “OUT.” He smacked me playfully on the arse as he pointed to the door. “I’m going to prove once and for all I’m a man of my word. I’m taking you home.”

  Chapter 7

  Full Disclosure

  “ALEX?” I murmured as my head lay on his chest. My hands restlessly caressed the contours of his taut muscles. This could easily be my favourite time of the day. The two of us, naked, with the gleam of sweat still coating our skin, locked in each other’s arms, satisfied.

  “Seriously Lexi? You got to give me at least five minutes baby.” He lightly tugged on my hair as a chuckle escaped from this throat.

  “Not that, Alex.” I tilted my head so I could look into his eyes.

  “Oh? Wow and here I was thinking I had you all figured out. What’s on your mind?” His fingers gently brushed my arm.

  Damn it. I felt the ease of the mood evaporate. He exhaled slowly as he continued to stroke my arm. Now I didn’t want to talk about it knowing that the topic of Nick and our discussion was probably going to cause a fall out to rival Chernobyl. New Lexi was beginning to be hard freaking work, but I had made a promise to Alex that I would be honest with him and omission, no matter how you dressed it, was still dishonest. I wasn’t going to be that girl with the closest full of secrets. Lord knows, there was barely enough room for my shoe collection in there.

  “So, in the interest of full disclosure, I need to tell you something.”

  He took a deep breath and shifted nervously underneath me. “You can tell me anything Lexi. I told you once before, nothing you say is ever going to change the way I feel about you.”

  There wasn’t going to be an easier way. There was no point half-arseing it. I was either going to tell him the whole story or shut the fuck up, and seeing as I had already started, the decision had been made.

  “Nick had a file on me,” I blurted out barely taking a breath before continuing, “Riccardo asked him to keep tabs and so he did. That’s how he knew Taylah and how she came to work for him.”

  “He’s stalking you?” He focused on me intently. “I fucking knew it. I’m calling DarNell and we are escalating security. I don’t want you to go anywhere near him.”

  “He wasn’t stalking me.” Well technically I guess he was, though given we were followed everywhere anyway, I don’t see how different Nick’s fact finding mission was different from the press trying to gain information. Granted, if I’d had to place a bet, I’d say Nick’s resources would be far shadier and more long reaching than your garden variety Pap, although I guess, given his motivation, it somehow made it OK?

  “Questionable inquiry perhaps, but not stalking. There is no need to worry about Nick, trust me, the way that family operates shit would have already gone down if that’s the way he wanted it.”

  “So what, we are supposed to just let him do whatever he wants? Why the sudden need to reach out to you now? Lexi, if you know more, now is the time to tell me.” Agitation bit into his tone though I could sense he was trying to keep a lid on his temper.

  “He made me an offer.” One that was extremely appealing to me despite my hesitation to accept.

  “What kind of offer?” He pulled me closer against his body, his face inches from mine. “Lexi, I don’t give a fuck who he is. He is not messing with my family.”

  “He offered to… to make… him go away.” Repeating it to him made it sound even crazier than hearing it for the first time. “I said no, I told him I don’t need him or anyone else taking care of my problems.”

  “What the fuck? What are you talking about? You can’t be serious?” He kicked the covers off of our bodies, releasing me from his grip as he furiously pushed off the bed.

  “Alex, where are you going?” I grabbed at his arm before he could get all the way off the bed and pulled him back toward me. “I didn’t tell you to get you worked up, I told you because I need for you to know everything. Like I said, full disclosure.”

  “I can’t just hear that and not react. I can’t hear about some other man offering that to you and have it not affect me.” He turned, encasing my body in his strong arms. “I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad at the whole fucked up situation. I wanted to kill him Lexi, that night you were in hospital. I wanted to go and fucking kill him. I didn’t care about the consequences, about my career, about anything. I wanted to do the only thing I could think of that would make this easier for you. Baby, I would fucking do anything for you. Do you understand that? Do you get that I am so in love with you that I would turn my back on all of this, just for you?” He placed his hands on either side of my face and lifted my chin. His eyes were clouded, dark, and I had no doubt that every word he said was true. At that moment, I realised, I would go through my ordeal one hundred times over if it meant I ended up here, with Alex. I had never felt so loved or cared for, and he was willing to give up everything for me, even his freedom. I felt undeserving.

  “I don’t deserve you.” I said the words before I had a chance to stop them. They had rattled around in my head so many times, but I had suppressed them not wanting to vocalise them.

  “It kills me that you think that Lexi, that you don’t see what I see. What can I do? Tell me what I can fucking do to prove to you that you are worth everything.” His voice was desperate, his hands cupped my face, unwilling to let me go. “Tell me Lexi.”

  “Just keep loving me Alex, even when I fuck up, know I’m trying.” And please don’t give up on me I finished silently in my head. I knew I needed to come to this realisation on my own, and it was a long-standing battle against my screwed up, wounded psyche.

  “Lexi, there will never be a time when I don’t love you. I think we were both delusional when we met, thinking we could be anything other than what we are now. I am no prize Lexi, I am just a man, but one who will spend the rest of his life loving you.”

  I swallowed, hard. I kissed him because telling him I loved him too didn’t seem enough. The words didn’t carry enough weight for what I was fe
eling. I loved him, but it was so much more.

  “Are you trying to distract me with sex?” He pulled his lips from mine, his eyebrow cocked. “Because as much as I want that, we still need to discuss Nick and his little proposal.”

  Damn it. I guess it would have been too easy just to sweep it under the carpet. Obviously with full disclosure it wasn’t just telling him about it, we were going to need to talk about it too.

  “Alex, there is no proposal. I turned Nick’s offer down. I need to move on with my life, and I can’t move on with that hanging over my head. This isn’t a movie Alex, shit like that would catch up with us. No one is untouchable, it would seep into our lives, and it would ruin everything good and pure that is there. He has provided us enough pain and suffering, and I refuse to give him anymore. His death wouldn’t end it; it would just be the beginning. I would never relax, waiting for the time when it would all come crashing down. I hate him and I want him dead, but I don’t want to be responsible for it. It would cost more than I am willing to give.”

  “And what about Nick? Where does he fit in? ‘Cause I got to tell you Lexi, this isn’t something I’m just going to let go.”

  “I know.” He wasn’t going to let it go, I knew that. Hannah was right when she said we were so similar. He was a lot like me, and I wouldn’t have let it go either. “Just let it go for tonight.” I lifted my lips and gently brushed his.

  “You know I can’t say no to you.” He smirked as his hands moved down to my arse.

  “Lies. You say no to me all the time. Especially when it means driving your car.” I let my hands travel down the toned, smooth muscles of his chest.

  “That’s because I like to drive.” He playfully smacked my arse, just hard enough to make my skin sting.

  “Well I’m driving tonight.” I pulled him back onto the mattress, his body weighing heavily as it fell on top of me.

  “Looks like I have the advantage.” He pressed down on me further, the evidence of his arousal hitting me squarely between my legs.

  “Ahhh.” I tilted my head back as I involuntarily moaned.

  “You like that, don’t you? Feeling me hard, knowing you were the cause.” He continued to move, allowing himself to slide against me, teasing me.

  “Yes.” I tilted my hips up to meet him, trying to gain more friction.

  “Although what really makes me hard is knowing that I turn you on. Do I turn you on Lexi?” His lips moved to my neck, his tongue hitting my hot flesh.

  “Yes.” I closed my eyes absorbing the movements. It felt so good.

  “Are you sure? You know I like to be thorough. I think I really need to investigate this further.” His weight lifted off of me and I gasped in protest.

  He laid beside me, his body twisted so he could touch me with unrestricted access. His hands slithered from the swell of my breasts slowly down my stomach. He watched as I squirmed, wanting to be touched.

  “Alex.” His name slipped from my lips desperately.

  His smile curled at the edge of his mouth, his hand travelling further south. The tips of his fingers just barely grazed my skin as they swept down my body. His fingers stopped once they reached my silky folds.

  “Mmmm Lexi, so wet. Did I do this?” His head tilted to the side as his finger slid deeper inside me.

  I nodded, unable to speak as he slid in a second finger, my wetness coating him instantly.

  “That gets me very hard Lexi, see how hard you get me?” He lifted my hand and guided it to his very hard cock. He kept the fingers inside me moving as he wrapped my hand around him, encouraging me to stroke up and down. I turned to my side so we lay facing each other, enabling me to touch him more easily.

  “I like your hands on me. I like watching your soft fingers curled around me, jerking me off while my fingers fuck you.”

  “I like it too,” I muttered like an idiot unable to come up with anything sexier or more intelligible. I shifted my gaze from his beautiful blue eyes, down my body and watched as his fingers entered me, stretching me further as he pushed in a third. My eyes then floated to my hand which was firmly stroking him, his hand curled around the outside of mine, inspiring me to go faster.

  “Easy baby, I will come all over your hand and stomach if you keep jerking me like that.” He closed his eyes as he stilled my hand.

  “I thought you said you had the advantage? Should I stop?” I squeezed his shaft tightly and forced my hand down his length slowly.

  “Fuck,” he groaned as he bit his lip. Yes, I too could drive him as crazy as he drove me.

  “That’s the plan,” I whispered as I pushed him onto his back with my free hand, his fingers sliding out of me as his back hit the mattress.

  I acted quickly, not giving him a chance to recover as I straddled him, forcing my knees to pin him down on either side of his hips. His rock hard erection was still imprisoned by my hand.

  “I’d say I have all the advantages now, wouldn’t you agree?” I tightened my fist around his girth as I continued to stroke.

  “Baby, you are laying naked on top of me. I get to stare at your beautiful tits with your wet pussy dripping onto my thigh all while you jerk me off. I would have to say, I’m experiencing no disadvantages.” The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to suppress a grin.

  “Should I make you come like this then? Seeing as you are enjoying it so much.” I taunted him as I continued to pleasure him.

  “No.” His hands grabbed at my thighs. “I want to come inside of you.”

  My hands stilled as I uncurled them from around his hardness. He watched me curiously as I lifted my ass and moved a little further up his body.

  “Is this what you want?” I rubbed the head of his cock around my opening. It felt so good as I allowed the tip to enter me slightly. I was using every bit of freaking restraint not to push all the way down on him. Teasing him was also torturing me.

  “Yes,” he hissed as his hands moved from my thighs to cup my arse in an attempt to push me further down his shaft.

  “Yes,” I echoed as I allowed myself to slide further down him, his fullness stretching me.

  “You are so tight like this.” He arched his back off the bed. “I can get so deep.” He thrust up from under me, filling me completely.

  “Ah.” I rocked back against him, my clit grinding against his pubic bone.

  Unable to stand it any longer I quickened the pace, thrusting against him. The friction felt so good and my body tightened around him as my arousal grew.

  “God, Lexi, that feels so good.” He met each of my thrusts with one of his own as I felt him harden even more inside of me.

  He moved one of his hands from my arse and brought it around to the front of my body, his thumb gently massaging my clit as he continued to buck against me.

  My whole body tingled, overwhelmed by stimulation. I closed my eyes as I rocked faster.

  “Open your eyes Lexi, look at me,” he moaned.

  My eyes flung open as waves of pleasure ripped through me, my whole body shook as the sensation overtook me.

  “That’s it baby, yes.” He continued to move as I continued to shatter.

  My core tightened around him as I uncontrollably pulsed. It felt so good.

  “Lexi,” he moaned as he thrust, finding his release as he exploded inside of me. “Lexi,” he repeated as he rode out the rest of our joint orgasm, our bodies sweaty and entwined.

  Exhausted, I lowered my body to lay on him, my breath still unmeasured as my head rested at his neck. He rolled me to the side, careful to stay inside of me as his arms wrapped tightly around my body.

  “You are amazing and I love you,” he whispered in my ear as he gently kissed the edge of my earlobe.

  “I love you too,” I murmured. As sleep tried to claim me, I struggled to keep my eyes open.

  “Sleep now baby.” He moved his lips to my neck. “I just want to stay inside you for as long as I can.” I felt his smile against my skin.

  “Fiend,” I whispered as
my eyelids fell shut.

  “Proudly, and all yours.” His gentle laughter was the last thing I heard.

  Chapter 8

  Frustration and Friction

  ALEX WAS Still asleep when I crept out of bed in the morning. In one of my signature throw back moves, I was able to maneuver off the mattress and out of the room while he lay blissfully unaware. I hadn’t wanted to sneak out, but the night had been an emotional one—there had been too many of those lately—and he really needed the break, even if it was just for a few hours.

  I liked to watch him sleep. The gentle rise and the fall of his chest was so peaceful, as was his carefree expression. His sleep-messed blond hair framed his face, accentuating his already perfect features. It was torture to leave and not kiss him, but I knew that it wouldn’t stop with one kiss—when did we ever stop with just one kiss?—so I tore myself away from my beautiful sleeping husband and started my day.

  Grabbing my gym bag, I packed my workout gear as well as my corporate attire. I threw in toiletries and make up as well because despite my distaste for communal showers—judge me all you want, but foot fungus was not something I wanted to deal with—I was on a tight schedule. In contrast to my old place, Alex’s superior residential apartment building had its own in-house gym. This was not only convenient and cost effective, but also meant I didn’t have to deal with cameras in my face while I was pushing my body to its limits. The down side was I had zero excuse for not hauling my arse out of bed and into the weight room despite my despondence. I would have loved to be one of those girls who can eat what they want and not work out, but I was still convinced those mythical girls did not exist outside a Victoria Secret campaign or a tampon ad. No, in real life if you want to bounce around in your underwear you’d better be putting in serious gym hours and limiting mindless calories.

  The communal area hadn’t been vacant. Sweaty bodies pushed through their paces as they crammed in the early morning exercise, which justified the full fat frappe they planned to drink on their drive to work. My presence was of little consequence to them as they flexed and grunted, more concerned with their own reflection rather than who was huffing and puffing beside them. So after five grueling miles—which still sounded strange coming from my Australian mouth—on the treadmill, I hit the free weights until my arms and legs screamed from exhaustion. My legs wobbled as I strode toward the shower room. I took comfort in the relief I knew the shower would provide.