Anything For Us

by Lola StVil

  “Okay, so the oldest boy is—”

  “Wait, Uncle C, I got this,” the oldest boy says with confidence. “I’m Ricky. I’m the smart one. And the cute one.”

  “Oh, okay. Got it,” I reply.

  He points to the middle brother and says, “That’s Kevin. He’s not so bad to hang out with—for a seven-year-old.”

  “Shut up!” Kevin says.

  “I’m telling Mommy you said that. You gonna get in trouble!” the smallest of the group says as he runs off.

  “That’s Ben. He’s five,” Ricky informs me.

  “Five and a half!” he calls out from one of the rooms in the back of the house.

  “Hi, Ben! Five and a half is the best age! It’s my favorite!” I call out.

  “HA! HA!” Ben says, mocking his older brother as he comes back into the room.

  “Alright, you two, upstairs until dinner is ready,” Winter says as she joins us.

  “Are you Uncle C’s girlfriend?” Kevin asks.

  “Um…you have to ask him,” I reply.

  “Uncle C, is she your girlfriend?” all three ask at the same time. Cash and I exchange bemused looks, and Wyatt orders the kids upstairs. They try to argue but once he says “Now,” all arguing stops. I understand; Wyatt’s steely tone could stop a grown adult.

  “I’m telling you, man, you’re wasted on the force. You need to be a chef,” Logan says as he enters from the kitchen with his mouth full.

  “Didn’t I tell you to act like a grown-up? We have company,” Wyatt scolds.

  Logan says, “Yeah, I know. What’s up, Quick?”

  “Hey, stop calling her that before I take you out back and kick your ass. You just met her, be nice!” Cash replies. Logan is about to clarify and say we already met but thankfully, Wyatt interrupts.

  “Logan, did you even wash your hands, you savage?” Wyatt jokes. I silently thank Wyatt. Logan goes back to stealing food in the kitchen.

  “Where’s Shay?” Cash asks. Cash explains that Logan’s wife, Shay, runs a battered women’s shelter, and that they just had their first child—a baby girl named Ella.

  “She’s helping a woman get settled into her new housing, so she couldn’t make it,” Logan shouts from the kitchen.

  “Well, did you at least bring my niece? Where’s Ella?” Cash says disappointedly.

  “She’s at the sitter’s. I have to go get her before I head to work. I promised Shay I’d tuck her in tonight,” he says.

  “Missed a lot of bedtimes lately?” Wyatt says.

  “Yeah, it’s a real bitch. Sometimes I don’t see my baby girl for days. Fucking sucks,” Logan says.

  “Well, we will feed you and send you home in plenty of time to tuck her in,” Winter vows.

  “Oh, and who is that little thing over there in her own world?” I ask, staring at a toddler in her high chair. Wyatt beams.

  “That’s baby Rose. Wanna say hi?” Winter asks.

  “Yes, please,” I reply as I go closer. I ask Winter if I can pick her up and she says it’s okay. She feels so soft and squishy in my arms.

  “Hi there, baby Rose, aren’t you pretty.”

  “Okay, what the hell are we eating and why does Logan get the first taste?” Cash demands.

  “Because I’m the brother that everyone likes,” Logan replies.

  “We heard about your vacation being cancelled, and so I thought we’d do a theme that might give you a taste of what you missed. So, I made a few classic dishes from Jamaica,” Wyatt says.

  “Oh my god, that’s so sweet!” I reply as I place the baby back in her chair.

  Cash calls out to Wyatt, “Hey, why the hell don’t you ever cook just for me? I want a theme dinner.”

  “Because I don’t like you,” he reminds him. Cash doesn’t pay Wyatt any attention and heads to the kitchen to see what dish he can siphon from.

  “You are so lucky Winter didn’t cook,” Logan says as he reenters the room.

  “And why is that?” I ask.

  “I don’t have time to take you to get your stomach pumped,” Cash says playfully as he comes back with a piece of chicken in his mouth.

  I’m not sure what I was expecting. Cash did tell me that Wyatt loves to cook and that he used to do it with his sister, Rose, before she passed away. But I had no idea there would be so much food or that it would be so damn good.

  Wyatt cooked for a family of fifty. Winter says he works a lot and so cooking, which is his passion, is a rare treat. So, when he is cooking, he gets as many of the family together as he can. Wyatt wasn’t kidding about the Caribbean-theme dinner. The menu is beyond impressive.

  For appetizers, we had saltfish fitters, large blackened shrimp, and fried sweet plantains. I was full from that alone. Then the main entrée was either jerk chicken, jerk pork, or steamed escovitch fish. Winter and I had the fish, and the guys had all three. In addition to sautéed veggies, there was beef stew with rice and peas. By the time we get to dessert, I’m beyond full. But it looks too good to pass up—Jamaican cheesecake with mango glaze, rum cake, and Irish moss—a coconut, nutmeg, and rum drink that tastes like heaven.

  As delectable as the food was, it was even better to be around Cash’s family. I loved watching him interact with his brothers, their kids, and just seeing him so…relaxed. They tell stories about being new on the job and forgetting to secure a suspect and watching him run with his hands cuffed behind his back. Or taking a woman in for trying to back her car onto her husband, not because she found out he cheated but because he cheated and didn’t take out the trash!

  I also learn about the community center that Winter founded and how amazing she is with her students. It’s easy to see that Wyatt loves her by the way he can’t stop looking at her. I tell Winter that when we’re alone in the kitchen. She smiles and says, “Sky, you know that’s the same way Cash looks at you, right?”

  “Really?” I ask like a teenager with no self-control. Winter and I laugh, and Cash comes into the kitchen.

  “Hey, are you saying mean stuff about me? You better not be, Winter. I need this woman to be crazy about me,” he says.

  I wrap my arms around his neck and assure him, “I’m already there, handsome…”

  Like everyone else in the Hunter household, I am stuffed and couldn’t eat another bite. Winter brings out a tray of coffee. She says she normally brings wine, but both Logan and Wyatt will be on duty tonight. So, coffee will have to do. Cash, on the other hand, is off tonight, so what does he do? He rubs it in his brothers’ faces by slowly pouring a beer into a frosted mug and gloating. Winter leans in and tells me that while they are men, they never really stop being boys.

  Meanwhile, Wyatt and Winter’s boys corner Cash and beg him for a sip of his beer. Ben, the younger one, isn’t really sure what he’s asking for, but he’s going along with what his older brothers are doing. Wyatt signals to Cash and says, “Don’t even think about giving them a sip.” Cash vows he would never do that.

  Then without a word, Cash hands the mug to Logan, who gives each child a sip of the suds that form at the top. At first, the kids are too excited about getting to taste the beer to actually process what it feels like on their tongues. But seconds later, each of them is spitting it out in disgust. Logan and Cash chuckle, and Wyatt vows that when Logan’s daughter, Ella, is a teenager, he’s gonna introduce her to all the guys he sent to the juvenile detention center.

  Winter gives all the kids a chore to do and explains she does not want them to think everything gets done magically. They have to help with the housework in some small way. So I watch as the kids help clean up and do their part. It’s so cute. It’s even cuter when I watch Ben’s little face shudder as he recalls the taste of beer. I offer to help, but Winter says it’s okay and that she’d love it if I looked after baby Rose.

  “The last time I left my daughter with those three idiots out there, they had the bright idea to put her on top of one of the boys’ remote-control cars. They then scooped out a watermelon and made i
t into a helmet,” she scolds as she looks over at her husband, who has just entered the kitchen.

  “Hey, safety first,” Wyatt jokes as he takes her into his arms. The two of them kiss. It’s easy to see how much they love each other. I look over at Cash, who is in the middle of explaining something to Logan. I get a warm sensation just being in the same room with him. I love him so much; it sometimes scares me.

  I go over to where the guys are and sit in front of baby Rose, who is in her high chair exploring the colorful animals displayed on the front. I hand her one of the nearby toys, and she gets excited and pumps her little fist in the air. I feel like someone is squeezing my heart. She’s just too cute for words.

  Cash leans in and whispers, “Babe, you okay?”

  I know why he asks; he knows that sometimes being around babies can be hard for me. I nod and assure him that I’m fine. And then I whisper, “I didn’t take the morning-after pill.” I look into his eyes, not sure what to expect. I mean, I hoped he’d be okay with it, but you never know.

  “Okay,” he says with a small smile as he leans in and kisses my temple. Baby Rose likes that and makes an indecipherable sound. I play with her while Cash, Logan, and Wyatt discuss things I know nothing about: like the latest in armored cars and the best rifle scope for the money.

  It’s nearly an hour later, and while it’s been a great night, it’s also been a long one. Cash can sense that, and he tells his family we are headed home. But before I go, I make my way to the kids’ room to say goodnight. On my way back to the living room, Logan spots me just as he’s about to leave.

  “Hey, Sky, I can take you to the gun range on Saturday but I’m running a training session in the afternoon, so we will have to go early in the morning,” Logan asks.

  My blood runs cold. Freezes, actually. Cash says to his brother, “You’re taking Sky to the gun range?”

  “Yeah, she asked, and I figured since you were too busy...” Logan says.

  “You asked Logan to help you learn to shoot?” he asks in a seriously betrayed tone of voice. The room is dead silent. I swallow hard and try to stay clearheaded. Shit. I didn’t want him to find out like this. I wanted…doesn’t matter now.

  “Yeah, um. I was gonna mention that,” I reply in a small voice.

  “I didn’t know you even wanted to handle a gun,” he says.

  “It’s a recent thing,” I mumble.

  “And you asked Logan to show you?” he repeats.

  Logan shrugs and lifts his hands up in the air, palms out. “Hey, it’s not a big deal. You can show her if you want,” he offers. Winter elbows him in the ribs, and he looks down at her, clueless. Wyatt takes a deep breath and looks away.

  “No, Sky asked you to take her, you should take her,” he tells Logan. Then he looks over at me. “Logan knows what he’s doing; you’ll be in good hands,” he says bitterly as he walks past me and into the kitchen.

  Fuck!

  As I head to the kitchen to talk to Cash, I overhear Winter scolding Logan, “You can anticipate a suspect’s next move from a hundred years away but can’t recognize the universal signal to shut up?!”

  “Hey, I thought she told him. It’s not my fault they don’t communicate,” Logan says.

  “Logan!” Wyatt snaps.

  I enter the kitchen, where Cash crosses his arms against his chest as the tight muscles in his jaw twitch.

  “I was gonna tell you, it’s only a recent thing,” I offer.

  “According to Logan, you already asked me and I was too busy. That’s funny because I can’t remember us ever having that conversation.”

  “I know you work a lot.”

  “Don’t do that! Do not make it out to be something we discussed and I said no to. You never said anything about wanting to even hold a gun. In fact, when did you even have time to ask Logan? I was with you all night,” he points out.

  “Well, about that. I ran into Logan a few days ago.”

  “You what? Where?”

  “Um…well, he was with—” Before I can finish, Logan enters the kitchen.

  “Okay, okay, look. Don’t be hard on her. She probably didn’t tell you about the gun range because she knows you’re not gonna be happy about her overall goal. And look, man, I get it. I’m not a fan of civilians having guns either,” Logan says as he opens the fridge and gets out a bottle of water.

  Cash turns to me. “You want to buy a gun?”

  “You didn’t tell him that part either? Damn, that’s fucked up,” Logan says.

  “Logan, out of the kitchen, now!” Winter orders.

  “Alright. Just hear me out for one second,” Logan says to his brother.

  “Maybe she hid that from you, and yeah, that’s kind of fucked up. But to be fair, her reaction is not uncommon. People do all sorts of crazy shit when they’ve been attacked. Especially at their place of work.”

  “Wait—Sky, you were attacked at the school?”

  “Oh c’mon, you didn’t tell him anything?!” Logan says as dread grips me.

  Wyatt shouts from the living room in a stone-cold voice that leaves no room for discussion, “Logan Hunter, if you don’t get out of their conversation, I’m going to call Shelby right now and give her all your contact numbers and the location of your cabin. She will buy the property next door to you.” Logan swears and marches out of the kitchen.

  “Who the fuck hurt you, Sky? When was this? Are you still hurt, what happened to you?” Cash says as he inspects me now that we are alone.

  “I’m okay, Cash. I’m fine.”

  “Well, that makes one of us. I feel like I’m having a fucking brain aneurysm. What the hell is going on?” he rages.

  I bite my lower lip, look down at the floor, and begin to tell him everything. He doesn’t say anything as I speak. When I’m done, he knows everything. When he does speak again, it’s after a long pause. His voice is quiet but laced with ire.

  “So, let me get this straight. Someone damn near killed you—”

  “He just pushed me.”

  “I am not done!” he snaps. I back down knowing he’s right to be angry with me.

  “So, when I came over that night you said you bumped into something at school, that was a lie?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you hid the bruises from when he grabbed you?” he asks.

  “Yes, using long sleeves and concealer.”

  “And when I asked you repeatedly if you were okay, that was also a lie?”

  “Yes.”

  “Also, while you were grilling me about Monica, you omitted the fact that you met her at the police station, where you also met with Wyatt and Logan. And you left all of that out?”

  “Look, I—”

  “Yes, or no, Sky?!”

  “Yeah,” I whisper.

  He laughs a humorless laugh and speaks mostly to himself. “My gut told me something was off, but I ignored it. I never do that. But I did this time because I said to myself ‘Sky wouldn’t lie to me’…I’m such an idiot.”

  ***

  The drive back to his place is a silent one. Cash grips the steering wheel as anger bounces off him like beams of light on the surface of water. He is more than pissed; he’s hurt. The tension in the car is reaching critical, and I swear if it builds up any more, Cash will implode. I want to break the silence but if I say the wrong thing this could go from a bad situation to an absolute disaster.

  He pulls up to his street and parks the car in front of the townhouse. He turns off the engine, but we both remain seated. More silence.

  “Cash, I planned to tell you sooner. I wanted to tell you, but…it was hard to find the words,” I admit.

  “But you found the words to talk to Wyatt, Logan, Kenzy, and who else? Who else knew what was going on with you before I did?”

  “No one.”

  “Yeah, I guess I should just take your word for it. I mean, it’s not like you’d ever lie to me, right?” he accuses as he shakes his head and gets out of the car.

  He slams t
he door and marches up the stairs. I follow him up to his place. He enters the house, throws his jacket on the back of a chair, and plops down on the sofa. He turns on the TV and Sports Center fills the room. It’s clear he doesn’t care what’s on; he’s just trying to tune me out. I don’t want to push him any more than I already have, but it’s clear we are not done with this issue. So, I take the remote and turn off the TV.

  “Cash, can we talk about this?” I plead.

  “Oh, so we’re talking now?” he demands as he stands up and glares at me. “I thought we didn’t do that. I thought what we actually do is pretend everything is okay, then go behind each other’s backs and tell everybody else how we feel. I thought that’s what we did.”

  “Look, you have every right to be mad,” I admit.

  “Oh, really? Thanks, Sky, thank you for giving me the right to be pissed off at you for lying to me for weeks!” he says as he marches into the kitchen. I go after him and hope it’s the right move.

  “Cash, I’m sorry.”

  “For which part? The part where you lied to me even after I told you how important it is to me that we are honest with each other? Or is it the part where you went to not one, but two different men for help? Which of those are you sorry for, Sky? Wait, maybe it’s the part where some guy put his hands on you and could have killed you, but you chose to stay silent. Is that what you’re sorry for?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, which is it? Which one of those things?”

  “All of it, okay?” I bark.

  “No! No, Sky…it’s not okay. You shut me out! Do you know how insane that is when all I’ve done is try to let you in?”

  “I wasn’t trying to shut you out,” I assure him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He shrugs me off. Damn. His rejection hurts.

  “Are you kidding me? That’s all you’ve ever done!”

  “Hey, that’s not fair. I told you about Apple, and I have never spoken about that to any guy before.”

  “Yeah, and I thought that night meant that we were closer, I really did. But it was a smoke screen, or maybe we were close, and then you panicked. I don’t know but what I do know is that I’m out here on a limb by myself. I told you things I never tell anyone; anyone! And all the while you were running around baring your soul to other people—other guys!”