“I love that you get it.” Instinct made me lean in to kiss her. I got her to laugh as she moved away. “I’d always meant to keep my job when I opened the studio. I can barely afford to have Claudia here, but when I don’t it’s costing me on the other end, because I can’t take more pictures. I’m still learning what works.”
“We’ll get through it,” she said.
I needed to get her home and kiss the hell out of her. The first time ever, she couldn’t make me believe it. “You don’t sound convinced.”
She sighed. “I’m tired, that’s all.”
“You’ve been saying that a lot lately.” It could be normal, we’d only lived together for a week.
“I know. The humidity is kicking my ass.” She stood and brushed her fingers against my cheek. I’d stay frozen with her like this until the end of time. “This is all I’ve been able to think about,” she said before she leaned in and kissed me.
Chapter Five
Leah
I had nothing to offer Shannon but a crazy dream. A chance to get in on the ground floor of something yet to be defined. A place for her to leave her mark. I didn’t expect her to say yes when I made the call, but she did. I was so glad I didn’t make her mind up for her.
“I’m so happy to see you!” She hugged me tightly when I found her at baggage claim. “It’s not the same on the show without you. Diane’s harping on us about content, and the sponsors hate everything we come up with. Production keeps pushing us to use products they get paid to have on the show.”
“Sounds familiar. I used to handle a lot of that stuff. Did you get a promotion?” I hoped not. I pulled away from her, wrinkling my nose. “Do you smell that?”
“Smell what? And if I got a promotion, they didn’t bother to tell me. Or give me a raise.”
“It smells like someone opened the portal to Hell. You wouldn’t have to ask.” I laughed. The bags started moving down the belt. “What am I looking for?”
“I missed you. It’s Navy with white stripes. I put a pink bow on it.”
“Nice.” And even better, I saw it right away.
“My grandma got me a good luggage set when I graduated from college. She said it meant I was going places.”
“I like your grandma.” I helped Shannon haul it off the belt. “Want to get some lunch before I bring you to the hotel?”
Jagger’s house—I still didn’t think of it as mine, yet—had a spare bedroom, but since Shannon only knew both of us through work, it wasn’t appropriate for her to stay with us, since we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I paid for her flight and her hotel, just like I was a real employer courting her, so she didn’t complain. And like Jagger had done with me, I wanted her to have a chance to discover the city on her own and fall in love with it on her own terms. No false advertising here. Right now, Miami was the only solid thing I had to offer.
“Perfect. You’ll take me to Wynwood, right? I’ve done so much research on the area. I’ve got a million ideas. Stop me if I’m moving too fast. Diane’s always telling me I’m trying to take over.”
“I missed you.” I laughed, and it ended in a cough. I was winded by the time I got to car. I’d lived with humidity all my life, but it was nothing like I’d experienced here. “Diane should let you take over, or she’ll lose you.”
That sounded loaded. The danger was everywhere, not just from me. Someone with Shannon’s passion needed to be given a lot of slack. I realized, now that I had her here, out of the safe element of the production company, that I might not have enough to offer.
I parked behind the gallery, giving her a chance to take in the walls of the neighborhood, covered in paint and graffiti. It was breathtaking, and all planned, unlike the abandoned amphitheater Jagger had taken me to the first time I came to visit.
I hadn’t been in the city very long yet, and I had yet to really explore. I couldn’t drag Jagger away from the gallery. He was freaking out about money, he was going to burn himself out. I wanted to offer to pay for a couple of Claudia’s shifts, but I wasn’t sure if that would make things better or worse.
When we didn’t live together, we’d made a rule not to talk about money. At that point, we were both cashing a regular paycheck. Those didn’t exist anymore, and pride had to be thrown out the window.
I wouldn’t worry about that now. Shannon hugged Jagger as soon as she saw him, then pulled away to examine all the art. He nudged me. “She’s staying,” he whispered.
“Hope so.”
We did a covert sweep of the consignment shop. “I should tell her to leave everything behind.” I laughed. “Every time I stop in I buy something else.”
Shannon dragged me everywhere. The girl had limitless curiosity. I practically begged her to stop at a restaurant.
She looked over the top of her menu at me. “I’m taking things over, aren’t I?”
“No, I’ve just been super tired lately and my back is killing me. I wore the wrong shoes for this adventure.” I was sick of feeling like crap.
“What are you getting for lunch?”
I looked down at the menu. I’d grabbed take-out from here a few times, but it was the first time I’d sat and ate. The regular stuff didn’t appeal to me. “Probably a Cubano.” No, the idea of mustard disgusted me. “Or the egg sandwich.”
“I’ve got to ask something, and I might be overstepping my bounds.” She put down the menu and wrinkled her nose. I couldn’t imagine what it could be. “Are you pregnant?”
I burst out laughing. “No.” I was on the pill. But as the laughter faded, something else filled its place. Familiarity. I was much younger when I was pregnant with Raven—
No, I couldn’t be.
But there were similarities. There was only so long I chalk it up to the climate change. I’d been here for almost a month. And with all the moving around, I could’ve forgotten a pill or two. In fact, I knew I did.
But I’d had my period. Too recently for any warning bells to go off.
“Shit happens, even when you’re being careful.” She shook her head. “I haven’t seen you in a couple months, but you seem different. Not as much energy. My roommate just found out she’s pregnant, and she says a lot of the same things you’ve been saying today.”
“I’m sure she’s a lot younger than me.” The waiter brought our iced teas.
“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Thirty-nine.” And the mother of a daughter in college. Who was starting completely over. No, it was the humidity. It had to be. And the shoes.
“It’s not impossible. Humor me. Take a test. If it’s negative, get more comfortable shoes. If it’s positive, you’ll have to deal with it eventually.”
This was not how I expected my lunch with Shannon to go. “I will.”
Shit. Jagger and I had a lot to talk about.
**
“I need you,” I said as soon as Kari picked up the phone. Shannon wanted to stop at a drugstore on the way to the hotel because she’d forgotten some things—and she put a pregnancy test in her basket. Now I was sitting on the floor of her bathroom, staring the thing down like it had landed from another planet.
“Are you all right? You and Jagger didn’t have a fight?” Kari groaned. “You heard from Rich, didn’t you? Bastard thinks he’s above the law. Tell me everything.”
“Shannon’s down here to decide if she wants to work with me again. That’s the good news. The bad news is she thinks I’m pregnant.”
Kari gasped. “Oh holy hell, it’s even worse than I thought.” She chuckled, but it died out when I didn’t join in. “You can’t be. You’re on the pill.”
“I’ve felt like crap ever since I moved here.” I’d visited Jagger over the summer, and the days had a way of blending into each other when I was with him. Lost, in the very best way. I missed it. Hell, I missed him, and I lived with him. “And the pill isn’t foolproof. Shannon made me buy a test.”
“And?”
“I’m too ter
rified to pee.”
“It’s not the worst thing in the world.” Kari’s voice softened, changing her tune a little bit. I wished she were with me. “You have options.”
I groaned. “Kari—“
“Not that. But if that’s what you want, I support you. I meant that you’re not a kid anymore. You can take care of a baby on your own, without relying on a dickhead to keep a roof over your head.”
“Yeah. Did you forget I’m unemployed? And thousands of miles away from anyone I’d even consider leaving a human being with?” I didn’t mention Jagger’s financial struggles. She was still convinced he was looking for a sugar mama.
“Open the test, turn the faucet on to make yourself pee, and do your thing. You won’t relax until you know.” Kari waited for me to say something, but I didn’t. “I’m here with you,” she added.
My hands shook as I opened the package, and the stick bounced off the floor. I ran it under water to clean it, forgetting what I was about to do to it. I probably tainted the results, but I didn’t have a back-up. Nothing was going as planned.
What an understatement.
I turned on the faucet. “Sorry you have to listen to me pee.”
“Please. I’ve changed your baby’s diaper. And I’ll do it again if I have to.”
I finally was able to do it. “This is so gross,” I said when I picked up the phone, very carefully. “I peed all over everything.”
“What does it say?” she asked.
I put the stick down on the counter and washed my hands. “I can’t look.”
“Have Shannon look at it.”
“I’m her boss. Or I was. And hopefully I will be again. I can’t have her read my pregnancy test for me. That would be like sexual harassment.”
“Take a picture of it,” Kari suggested. It was a good idea, but . . .
“I’d have to look at it.”
“No you don’t. Hold the phone over it and snap.”
I almost dropped the phone on the pee-laden stick, but I managed to do most of it with my eyes closed. My mouth was dry and my heart was pounding. I covered the screen when I sent the image over to my best friend.
“It’s blurry as hell, but it looks like a plus.”
I gasped. “Maybe my hands were shaking too bad.” I had to look at it. And there it was, so hopeful. “Nope, it’s a plus.”
Grasping the counter, I looked in the mirror. I was going to have Jagger Holiday’s baby.
“It’s instinct to ask you what you’re going to do, but I know you haven’t sorted any of that out yet.” Kari was soft again, which meant I was in so far over my head even she couldn’t help me. “But whatever it is, remember I love you and Jagger loves you, and that’s all that matters.”
Chapter Six
Leah
“Can I talk to you?” I found Jagger sitting on the balcony, staring out at the ocean, when I got home. He did that a lot. He was shirtless and his hair was damp. Most likely he’d gone to the gym on his way home from the gallery. I was glad he kept up with that, but I wished he’d do the same with his photography.
“What’s wrong?” He motioned for me to come sit on his lap.
Didn’t have to ask me twice. I curled into him, resting my head on his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his body wash and shampoo. Just being near him made me feel better. He rubbed my back, gently encouraging me to tell him what was bothering me. It felt good. I took a moment to listen to the surf and the beach noises that drifted up to us as I thought about how I wanted to tell him about my afternoon.
I had to choose my words carefully. They’d change our lives forever.
“Shannon didn’t think I seemed like myself today.” I dipped my toe in and tested the water.
Jagger sighed. “You haven’t been. I didn’t say anything because I knew this was a huge change for you. If you’re not happy here, Leah—“
“No.” A thousand times no. “It’s not that. I love being here. But I’ve been tired, and achy, and kind of cranky. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself, because I know this is a huge change for you, too. I thought it was the move, and the climate. But Shannon didn’t.”
He pulled away from me slightly, and frowned. “What does she think it is?”
“That I’m pregnant.” I got up from his lap and grabbed the railing. The breeze whipped my curls in my face, and I turned to gauge his reaction. It hadn’t changed. He was probably in as much shock as I was. “I told her it was impossible, because I’m on the pill, but I’ve been traveling so much lately, and everything with Raven, sometimes I forget to eat until I’m dizzy.”
Jagger gripped the railing beside me. “Are you?”
“Am I what?” There was that dizzy feeling.
“Pregnant.”
“I took a test, but I might’ve messed it up. I dropped it on the floor and then rinsed it off, forgetting that I was going to pee on it anyway.” My chuckle was strangled by my thundering heartbeat. “It was positive. We won’t know for sure until I go to the doctor. I have to find a doctor.”
I wasn’t ready for any of this. No doctor, no job; I had nothing here but Jagger. I turned away from the railing. I’d puke if I kept looking over it.
Jagger raised his eyebrows, the shock hadn’t faded. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s crazy. I mean, Raven’s in college, and I just moved down here and everything’s still so up in the air. Shannon’s down here with the expectation of working with me. I don’t know what I want to do.” I took a breath—I had to remind myself to do that—and looked at Jagger. The shock had become a glow, and he was grinning. “You want this, don’t you?” I asked.
He nodded. “I do.” He softened and put his hand over mine. It slowed everything down, enough that he could lean in for a kiss. I needed it, bad. The spins were getting the best of me, and I was a wrought-iron bar away from freefall.
Wow. “This wasn’t what we signed up for.”
“We signed up for one weekend. Look where that got us. Why don’t we go inside?” He opened the screen and let me pass. “Did you eat?”
“Lunch.”
Jagger went straight to the kitchen. “How do eggs and toast sound?”
“I love breakfast for dinner.” I climbed up on the stool. Bread was a new addition to this kitchen. Jagger never touched it, but I’d been relying on toast a lot lately. “French toast was one of the things I could always entice Raven to eat. Depending on her pickiness level at the time, I’d make blueberry syrup, sausage, or bacon to go with it. And we’d sit in our pajamas and watch movies.”
“Some people were meant to be moms.” Jagger leaned over the counter, took my hand in his and kissed it. “You love making people happy.”
I did. “I love creating a place that people belong, in my home or theirs. I’m lucky, I have a great family. And when that didn’t automatically replicate itself with Rich, I thought I’d done something wrong. Now I know that it wasn’t me, but Raven was the only person I could give that to for years. And when she started to shun me . . .” I couldn’t finish.
He squeezed my hands. “She loves you. That’s what teenagers do. They act like assholes because they’re trying to figure out who they are. I did it. But luckily for Raven, her parents will be there for her when she realizes she needs them.”
My heart broke every time he mentioned his family. Or lack thereof. “When was the last time you reached out to your folks?”
His face darkened. “It’s been years.”
“Maybe if you tell them that you’re not escorting anymore—“
“Leah.” He cut me off. The classic Jagger shutdown. Shit. “They’ve made their opinions well known. I can’t take back the past.”
“Don’t pretend this doesn’t mean anything to you. It’s written all over your face. I can practically hear it ripping you apart inside.”
He let go of my hand and bowed his head. I wished I could see his face. I didn’t want him to break down, but he had to break through this inability to trust anyone with
his heart. I didn’t know how I slipped through the crack. I wished I could figure it out, so I could lead others inside. Jagger had so much to give.
He was going to be a dad. Holy shit, he was going to be a dad.
After he raked his fingers through his hair, he looked up at me. I’d never seen this look in his eyes before. It was absolute agony.
“There’s something I need to tell you, too.”
Chapter Seven
Jagger
I should’ve never waited so long to tell her. The weight of the truth sat on my chest like an anvil and I could barely breathe.
“One night at your house you asked me if I’d ever been in love before. I remember you said you hadn’t, because Rich hadn’t felt the same way about you as you did about him.”
Leah nodded. I should’ve told her that night, before I let her fill all the hollow spaces inside me. Well, almost all of them.
“You know I did some porn. I started right before I dropped out of college. Before that, I’d had relationships, but they were nothing serious. Kid stuff. I got paired up with an actress named Kim in a lot of the movies. She was new at it, and she said I made her feel comfortable. Screwing someone on camera is intimidating, especially when you don’t have a lot of experience, and especially for a woman. A room full of people, cameras everywhere, and we didn’t work for the best production company. Some of the shit they’d say, especially to the actresses, made me want to punch them in the face. But I didn’t know what my limits were yet, and people crossed them all the time.
“Kim and I became friends. I liked fucking her and she was a lot of fun. We started hanging out a lot. Doing stupid shit. She’d do anything, like dance naked on the bar at Vice, the biggest nightclub in Miami at the time. Or offer a cop sexual favors to stop her from searching our car. A lady cop. What a night that was.” I still tingled thinking of it. “I moved in with her officially when the semester ended. Never looked back. She told me she didn’t want to fuck me on camera anymore, said she wanted to keep it between us. I thought that meant something.”
Ties That Bind (The Escort, #3) Page 4
