Ties That Bind (The Escort, #3)

by Kristen Strassel

  “It doesn’t look like a yard sale, so that’s good,” I said. We stopped in front of the house. We probably didn’t look that suspicious, two middle-aged women with bad hair out for a walk, but I didn’t want to give anyone time to think about it, either. “Let’s keep moving and get a feel for the neighborhood.”

  “Yeah, we’ll do a couple laps. Check out the park again. If we don’t see anything, we’ll swing by before we drive back to Miami tomorrow.” Kari was the perfect person to bring on this mission. As a prosecutor, she was already fine-tuned to details, and way more familiar with the law than I was. A few people said hello to us as we passed.

  The park had more kids playing the next time we went by it. I stopped, hanging onto the chain link fence and peering in.

  Kari put her hand over mine. “It won’t be that easy.”

  I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the kids playing—squealing as they went down the slide, begging their parents to push them higher on the swings. Any one of them could’ve been Jacob. I thought I’d know as soon as I saw him. But as I scanned their happy little faces, I wondered how any of them would react to finding out they had a father they’d never met.

  I let go of the fence. “One more lap and we’ll call it a night.”

  We didn’t have the same power in our walk as we did the first go round. At that point, I wanted to get in the car and go. I’d talk Kari out of coming back tomorrow. My phone buzzed, and I smirked at Jagger’s dirty texts. He’d framed the underwear I left on his desk last week. I’m putting this out in the gallery and calling it ‘inspiration.’

  Don’t you dare. I missed this part of our relationship, the texts and the messages. As much as the long distance thing sucked, I loved seeing what Jagger came up with to get my attention when left to his own devices.

  No way. I’m keeping them so I remember how we get work done in our office.

  I was still grinning when I put my phone back in my pocket, but I gasped when I looked up. A mom was heading toward the park with her two kids, a little girl walking a dog and a boy on a scooter. I grabbed Kari’s arm.

  She stopped short. “What’s the matter?”

  “Look at him,” I commanded between gritted teeth. Shaggy dark hair stuck out under his helmet. It squished his little face a bit, but his eyes and nose were so hauntingly close to Jagger’s, I went numb.

  “Oh, shit,” Kari said under her breath. “Let’s cross the street.”

  “No.” I broke away from her. My brain was numb, too, because I couldn’t stop myself from moving toward the woman. She looked like she’d lived a hard life—with overly tanned skin and sharp features. Her blonde hair was short, and she dressed plainly, in jeans and a tank top. Nothing like the headshot of her adult movie alter ego a decade earlier. “Excuse me, are you Kim Crowe?”

  “I am,” she said slowly, and looked down at the kids. “Go ahead to the park. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “I’m—”

  “I know who you are.” Of course she did. I was that girl on TV who did the design. Or I used to be, anyway. Now I was the woman who hired a prostitute and lost her job. The kids took any warmth she had with them. “Did he put you up to this? Is he here, hiding in a car somewhere?”

  Much to my surprise, Kim didn’t try to get away from us.

  “Leah.” Kari tugged on my arm. I shrugged away from her.

  “No, he didn’t.” I looked over my shoulder. The little boy, possibly Jacob, had let go of his scooter. It fell near the gate as he ran toward the jungle gym. I turned back to Kim. “He looks just like him.”

  Kim smiled and it turned my stomach. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Bullshit.

  “Listen, I know he’s got his own life.” I spoke quickly, and avoided using his name, much like she had with Jagger. I’d violated everything—the privacy of Kim’s family and Jagger’s trust—and if I said Jacob’s name out loud I was crossing the line. “But Jagger would’ve really liked to be a part of it. It should be your son’s choice, someday, if he wants to meet his father.”

  Kim shook her head and started to walk away. But she stopped. “How much is it worth to you?”

  “What do you mean, how much is it worth to me?”

  She scoffed. “I mean, how bad do you want this? You were on that show, and you hired him. You’ve got money. And you’re here.”

  “Are you insane?” Kari asked. “That’s extortion.”

  “I want to see if your friend is willing to put her money where her mouth is. And from the look on her face, she’s not. Big surprise there. When you come up with a good reason why I should rip my son’s life apart, I’ll consider it. Until then, it was nice talking to both of you, but I’m a single parent. I need to take care of my children. If I see you here again, you’re trespassing. Unless you’re making an offer.”

  I froze in place, watching her enter the park and take the dog leash from the little girl. Like the whole thing didn’t fucking happen.

  “Can you believe that?” Kari’s mouth hung open. “You’re considering it, aren’t you? Leah. No. It will keep getting worse and worse, and the only difference will be this time, you’ll be the one who breaks Jagger’s heart.”

  “I’m not.” I took a deep breath, and watched Jacob emerge from a tube on one of the slides. I got one of my wishes. I knew he was a happy little boy. “I wish Jagger could see him.”

  I wanted to go home. But I was trapped in my lie, stuck in Orlando until tomorrow, closer to this woman than Jagger. And we’d both betrayed him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Leah

  I was a terrible liar. I’d never put much effort into it, and my follow-through was even worse. That was the problem—if I didn’t believe it, I couldn’t make anyone else buy into it, either. I got caught, every time. At almost forty years old, I should’ve learned my lesson.

  Even though this trip left a layer of grime on my skin I’d never be able to scrub away, I was glad I went. Unlike Kari, I hadn’t doubted Jagger’s story. But a little piece of me did wonder if he’d given up too easily. If he’d given it his all. Now that he was the father of my child, I needed to know that he did.

  I had my answer, but it didn’t fix anything, and it didn’t make me feel any better.

  “I’m sorry things didn’t go as you wanted them to today.” Kari frowned at me over our take-out dinner. There was nothing I wanted to do in Orlando but leave. “Don’t feel bad about it. Your heart was in the right place. And I egged you on, which I probably shouldn’t have.”

  “I wish I could tell Jagger.” I poked at my salad, not having much of an appetite. “That he’s okay. I’m not even sure if he is. He looked good and if I hadn’t talked to her everything would’ve checked out, but what kind of mother says ‘I’ll let you see your kid if you give me money?’”

  Kari and I locked gazes. I’d threatened Rich with getting his visitation taken away more times that I could count. Our favorite weapons were Raven and money.

  “Stop beating yourself up over this. You’re not like her.” Kari sat next to me on the couch and rubbed my back. “Go home tomorrow, tell Jagger how much you missed him, and concentrate on starting your life together. Did coming here help you in any way?”

  “Strangely, yeah. Now I don’t have to wonder what if. I know.” I sighed. “I worry about Jagger. We’re getting married, and I don’t even know who he’ll invite. He tolerates Zach, but I don’t think he considers him a good friend anymore. Then who?”

  “What about his parents?”

  I shook my head. “He’s as shut down about them as he is about Jacob. They cut him off over the escort thing. Cold turkey.”

  Kari shook her head. “No wonder he’s usually so closed off. All the people who are supposed to be there for him have turned their backs.”

  “I want them to come to the wedding.”

  “Leah.” Kari used the same tone as when I confronted Kim. “You’re kicking up a lot of dust. I’d love to see
his parents come to the wedding, too. But what if contacting them makes things worse? We had a near-miss today, but at least we found Jacob. He’s safe. He seems to be happy. That’s all we could ask for. His mother is a psycho bitch on wheels and we know better than to go messing in that playground.”

  “The last thing I want to do is hurt Jagger. But this is hurting him. He’s a different person now. He deserves another chance.” Exploring his past was risky, especially when I had to climb over a No Trespassing sign to do it.

  “Not everyone changes.”

  “I know.” All too well. “Speaking of which, what’s going on with the lawsuit?”

  Kari’s face didn’t light up the way I expected it to. Usually, she loved law because she had a say in the outcome. At this point, I wasn’t sure if we had any control over anything. “I have an appointment with their lawyers. They’re insisting they have nothing to give you. Beth only owns that house, and she’s got very little in assets. We’ll probably never see the figure we settle for.”

  “I want it over with, and those people out of my life.” I picked up the discarded take-out bags and balled them up before throwing them in the tiny hotel room trash can. “The only thing that bothers me about Kim is we don’t know why she did it. Rich and I . . . well, you know. But I never had the brass balls to actually go through with it.”

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Kari opened one of her little wine bottles. “It sounds like Kim and Jagger were in a bad place when the baby came into the picture. Jagger’s cleaned up his act. He’s grown up. It would’ve been more alarming if you’d found out about this and he didn’t care. Let him deal with it in his own way. He doesn’t want to lose you, too.”

  “You’re right.” This trip had taught me far more about myself than it had about Jagger.

  **

  “What’s your plan for the day?” Jagger had been taking more time away from the gallery. Now that I paid half the rent, he had more money to pay Claudia. Something changed in him since he found out he’d be a dad. There was a light in his eyes that warmed me deep inside. A place that I didn’t know had been dark. He put his hands on my hips. “It’s a perfect day for the bike, but I don’t know if I should take you out on it.”

  “Probably not.” It was still early, a gorgeous October day. Perfect for what he had in mind, but there was no way I’d do anything to jeopardize the baby. “I’ve been working on Claire’s design. She’s coming to the gallery this weekend, and I’m on hold until then. We can’t start the actual work until Shannon gets back down here, anyway. I need the extra hands. I planned to hang out at the gallery, but it sounds like you didn’t.”

  “Nope. I want to scout some new spots to photograph. But there’s something else we need to find.”

  “What’s that?” I broke away from him and poured hot water into my mug. Jagger was a trouper and he’d switched over to decaffeinated tea with me. It was warm and it smelled divine, but that was where its charm ended.

  “A place to get married.”

  I put down the mug and kissed him. Jagger could wake me up better than any cup of good-smelling hot water. He hadn’t put a shirt on yet, and I let my hands wander over his chest. I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on the way his body felt under my touch, stopping over his pounding heart.

  Jagger spent so long denying his vulnerability, I considered it an honor that he let me in.

  “Yes, we do.” I punctuated my sentence with a quick kiss. “What do you have in mind?”

  “How do you feel about the Keys? On the beach, something small. Barefoot in the sand.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I get to wear a top, though, right?” Last time Jagger took me to the beach, it was clothing optional. It was incredibly freeing until someone recognized me from Great Start Today.

  His lips curled up in a smile and he ran his hand under my top, landing on my breast. If we kept this up, we weren’t going anywhere all day. “I really wish you wouldn’t, but since your folks will be there—”

  “What about yours?” I asked, putting my hand over his, pinning him against my heart. It was pounding just as hard as his was. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but it was bothering me. So much.

  I expected him to try to wriggle free of my grasp, shut down. He didn’t, but he did shake his head. “They know where I am. If they want to be a part of my life, all they have to do is ask.”

  I was the one who let go of him, sliding off my stool and heading toward the balcony. I stopped halfway. “They might think the same thing. Do they know you quit escorting?”

  He shook his head again.

  “What if you told them?”

  The light faded from his eyes. It was possible I wasn’t close enough to see the faint flicker, which I was thankful for, in case I watched it go out.

  “You said something very important to me. That there was nothing Raven could do that would ever make you turn your back on her. I’d always thought I’d get in touch with my parents when I quit the business. That I’d be good enough for them again. But nothing changed about me. I quit a job. You’re the one who showed me I should’ve been good enough for them all along.”

  He had changed, not since he quit the job, but since I met him. They were baby steps that he probably couldn’t see, but even this explanation was huge for him. Before he would’ve shut down, canceled our plans, and spent the day at the gym.

  “I want everyone to love you as much as I do.” It hurt me that they didn’t. That they refused to.

  “I don’t. Let me finish.” He smirked at my protest. “Because what we have . . . you’re my sanctuary, Leah. I want to come home to you. Only you. And the baby, of course. I want that to be special. No matter what shit the world doles out, I want you to be the one thing that makes sense. I don’t need that from anyone else, or everyone else. I just want you.”

  “How can I argue with that?” I kissed him. He caught me there, his lips brushing against mine in a whisper when we were done. He’d summed it up beautifully. When we were together, it was hard to remember the rest of the world mattered. “Where were you thinking in the Keys?”

  “There’s hundreds of islands. I don’t want to go to one of the big ones. Some little out of the way place that’s still a little wild is what I had in mind.”

  “It sounds like Heaven.” The ocean never lost its magic. I often found myself getting lost while staring at it from our apartment deck. I’d lived near the ocean most of my life, but I’d never lived with it. Made it a part of my day. Jagger spent a ton of time on the balcony, mostly in the early morning and after the sun went down. The rush of the waves and the salty air were as much of a part of the house as the furniture.

  The light returned to his eyes. “I did a little research, because I didn’t want to do what everyone else does. A resort or a lighthouse—boring. I found one of the islands has an abandoned church. It’s in pretty rough shape from one of the hurricanes, but ownership won’t move on it, either way. They won’t restore and they won’t sell.”

  Jagger’s favorite. “It sounds perfect,” I said. “You know what I was thinking? Who will take pictures of our wedding? We don’t have a single picture together.”

  “That’s because I hate having my picture taken.”

  “Nobody likes having their picture taken.” I poked his bare stomach, and he managed to catch my hand and spin me around so my back was against him. I let my head fall back against his shoulder. His face was upside down at this angle, and he was still beautiful. “I’ll give you some pointers.”

  He shook his head. “No one’s going to look at me if I’m in a picture with you.”

  Bullshit. “I never had my own hashtag.” Even after the scandal. It was all Jagger.

  “It’s overrated.”

  He kissed my hair, his lips lingering on my head like he couldn’t pull himself away. With his arms around me, the ocean slapping against the sand off in the distance, we were one. And there was nothing else.

 
Chapter Nineteen

  Leah

  Jagger forced me to look at the world in a way that I hadn’t before, and it changed everything. What I thought about love, life, the future, and especially the past. We drove to the Keys with the windows open, water surrounding us, wind whipping our hair around, and the radio blasting. I was content to do nothing more than soak it all in. I let him choose the music. This time it was alternative rock, with a beat thick and sultry like the island air.

  It was my second road trip in less than a week, and it couldn’t be more different than the last. I always had to watch what I said around Kari, and around Jagger I was sometimes surprised by what came out of my mouth. With him, I wasn’t shaped by my past. Only my future.

  I wanted so badly to tell him about Jacob. Every time I looked at Jagger it was on the tip of my tongue, and it was going to slip out. The news would go down a lot smoother if I told him about it on my terms, but there was no getting past the most important part of the story.

  I’d lied to him. It destroyed any peace of mind I had about finding his son.

  And there wasn’t much of that. Telling him that I knew where Jacob was and following it with but you can’t see him would be the fatal blow to Jagger’s heart. He’d shut it down and never let anyone back in, including me. If I thought anything good would come out of paying off Kim, I’d do it without a second thought. But it would only lead to more lies and heartache.

  Jagger pulled off Overseas Highway into a brightly colored island village. If palm trees reminded me of vacation, the little island surrounded me like an embrace with the promise of paradise. The windy road narrowed and the brush thickened as we approached our destination.

  He stopped the car when the gravel turned to sand. “We should walk from here. The surface gets soft fast on these island roads. The tires will sink right into the sand.”

  “Come on. You don’t want to get towed?” I laughed as I climbed out of the car. We’d packed a bag full of beach supplies—towels, sunscreen, and snacks in case the pregnant lady couldn’t wait for dinner. Chances were pretty good that she couldn’t.