Blonde With a Wand

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  “See you later, then,” Julie said. “Oh, I forgot. Have you heard the rumor that someone in this building is a witch?”

  Uh-oh. So the eagerness to cat-sit might have been eagerness to take a look inside this apartment. Anica managed to look amused. “Somebody’s been reading too much Harry Potter. If anyone around here could cast spells, you’d think they’d update the plumbing.”

  Julie grinned. “It is obnoxiously old. I keep expecting Moaning Myrtle to come out of the toilet.”

  “As I said—the Harry Potter books have us all thinking that witches and wizards are real. I’d be amazed if anyone in this building is capable of magic.” And that, for today at least, was the truth.

  She kept her wand in her purse, in case it was suddenly activated, but she’d begun adjusting to the reality of not having magic at her disposal.

  “I’ll probably give you a call in an hour or so to check on things,” Anica said as she headed for the door. “Thanks again for doing this.”

  “No problem.”

  Not for Julie, maybe, but Anica hoped she hadn’t just created an even bigger one for herself by letting this girl into her life.

  Jasper listened to the conversation taking place outside the bedroom door. So Anica was leaving for the coffee shop. He could be really lucky and transform while she was gone. A man coming out of the bedroom would probably scare the shit out of the girl who was supposed to keep tabs on things, but he’d figure out some story to give her.

  Maybe he’d bill himself as the irresponsible brother who liked to sleep in and therefore couldn’t be counted on to take care of the new cat. It wasn’t much of a story, but he wouldn’t worry about what this girl, whose name seemed to be Julie, would think of him. Yes, he’d really like to transform right now.

  And he couldn’t understand why that wasn’t happening. He’d taken in enough of that evil slime to make him sick to his stomach. He thoroughly agreed with Anica’s statement that he wasn’t feeling that well. The transformation potion was gross. He wouldn’t care, though, if it worked.

  It had worked before, although not until about eighteen hours later. He’d hoped that lapping up twenty times as much would speed the process. So far, all he had was massive indigestion . . . and nothing to do.

  So in the manner of cats everywhere, he slept, until voices outside the door woke him. The hackles on the back of his neck rose. Anica’s voice wasn’t one of them. The person talking to Julie was that Shoumatoff person who was dead set on relieving him of his precious boys.

  Julie’s voice got louder, as if she and that horrible woman were coming down the hall. He could also smell tuna, which if he happened to be a real cat would probably smell like ambrosia.

  “Miss Shoumatoff,” Julie said, “Anica doesn’t want anybody bothering her new cat.”

  “Anica will be grateful to me for taking care of this. I came by to see if she’d done it and renew my offer to handle it for her. Obviously she’s too busy, so I’m taking charge.”

  “Miss Shoumatoff, I don’t think Anica’s going to be happy if you—”

  “Of course she will.”

  As the voices drew closer to the door, Jasper decided he’d better head for cover. By the time the door opened and Shoumatoff the Castrator came through it, he was under the bed in the very middle. He could see two pairs of boots—one black pair that looked capable of stomping on kitty toes and another that looked as if they’d come from the Salvation Army. He could guess which ones belonged to Shoumatoff.

  Orion had arrived, too, and was winding himself around the combat boots and meowing his head off. The smell of tuna was overpowering.

  “I’m calling Anica,” Julie said. “This is not right.”

  “Go ahead. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled that I’m handling this chore. I’ll bet he went under the bed.” Shoumatoff’s jowly face appeared, framed by the lace bed skirt. She looked like she was wearing an old-fashioned cap, sort of like Whistler’s mother.

  “I see you under there, you sneaky cat. Come get the tuna. Not you, Orion.” She shoved the orange tabby out of the way.

  Jasper was outraged that she’d push Orion around like that. Tuna or no tuna this woman was bad news, and by God he was going to do something about it.

  She edged the tuna under the bed, keeping hold of the can. Once Jasper thought he had enough of her arm to work with he attacked, sinking his teeth and claws in.

  It wasn’t the wisest plan. She yelled, but she was more agile than she looked. She reached under the bed with her free hand and grabbed him.

  Hissing and spitting, he tried to use his claws on her, but she was bigger and stronger. She manhandled him into a carrier and slammed the door, but as she picked it up and started down the hall, he heard Julie yelling something about Anica’s instructions.

  “Now, Julie, you know this is for the best.”

  “Anica said you’re not to take him! Give me that!”

  Jasper was flung around inside the carrier as the two women wrestled for it.

  “Look, you left the front door open!” Shoumatoff said. “What if Orion got out?”

  “Oh, my God!” Abruptly Julie let go of the carrier. “Orion, where are you? Stay right there, Miss Shoumatoff. Please don’t leave. Orion! I can’t lose both cats.”

  Jasper’s hope faded. He doubted Orion would leave the apartment, but he knew Julie would feel obligated to track down Anica’s main cat, not the temporary stray. While Julie searched for Orion, Shoumatoff headed out of the apartment.

  Jasper was so screwed.

  Chapter 11

  As Anica ran down the sidewalk, her shoulder purse banging against her side, she dodged pedestrians as best she could, but she bumped into several people and almost knocked over an older man. She called an apology over her shoulder and kept going. She was half a block away when a taxi pulled up in front of her building.

  Edna Shoumatoff came down the steps with a pet carrier in one hand. Anica was out of breath from running and her attempt to call out was worthless.

  If she’d ever needed magic, she needed it now. But there was no magic and Edna was getting into the cab headed for some clinic. Anica didn’t even know which one. By the time she tracked Jasper down it might be too late.

  She couldn’t let that happen. With a burst of speed she reached the taxi and grabbed the door as it was closing. She gripped the carrier handle with both hands and braced her feet against the pavement.

  Edna peered out at her. “Anica, what’s the problem?” She could barely speak as she gulped for air. “Don’t . . . take . . . him.”

  “Someone needs to!”

  Anica managed to speak without gasping. “You can’t just take someone’s cat to be neutered without their permission.”

  “You got a tomcat in there?” The cabdriver turned toward the backseat. “Poor slob. I don’t think you women fully appreciate how that affects a guy.”

  “He’s not a guy,” Edna said. “He’s a cat.”

  Technically, he’s also a guy. But Anica couldn’t very well say that out loud.

  “Cats have feelings, too,” the cab driver said.

  They were gathering a crowd, and Anica was ready for this episode to be over. She reached in and grabbed one end of the pet carrier. “Miss Shoumatoff, I promise you this cat is not an overpopulation problem. Let me have Jasper back.”

  Edna held on to the carrier with a surprisingly strong grip for a woman her age. “No!”

  The cabdriver sighed. “Make up your mind, okay, ladies? I’m not getting any richer sitting here by the curb.”

  Anica pulled harder. “I’ve made up my mind.”

  “So have I!” Edna jerked the carrier from the other direction.

  “Oh, thank God you’re here!” Julie cried out from behind her. “I’m so sorry, Anica!”

  Anica had no breath to waste on Julie. She was in a tug-of-war that had to go her way. She yanked harder and there was a loud crack. The plastic carrier, which wasn’t very sturdy to begin wit
h, came apart.

  Jasper exploded out of it, scratching anything in his way.

  Anica made a grab for him and felt his claws dig into her arm. Then he launched himself from the cab to the sidewalk.

  “Stop him, Julie!” Anica cried.

  But Julie wasn’t quick enough. Jasper darted around her and raced down the sidewalk, with Anica, Julie and Edna in hot pursuit. A block later, they all stopped, panting.

  Jasper was nowhere in sight.

  Edna leaned over and put her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “See? See what you’ve done?”

  “What I’ve done?” Anica longed to put her hands around the woman’s chubby neck and squeeze. “If you hadn’t interfered, Jasper would still be safe in my apartment!”

  “It’s my fault.” Julie looked miserable, even more so because her mascara had smeared, turning her into a frightening sight indeed. “I shouldn’t have let Miss Shoumatoff through the door in the first place, but she seemed so sure of what she was doing. She brought the carrier and tuna, and then the door was open and I was afraid Orion got out. But he didn’t.”

  “It’s not your fault, Julie, it’s all Miss Shoumatoff’s doing.” Anica glared at the older woman.

  Edna was unrepentant. “Since you weren’t handling your responsibility, I took on the job.”

  Anica clenched her jaw. A shouting match in the middle of the street wasn’t going to accomplish anything. She shouldn’t have left Jasper, or she should have asked Lily for help instead of putting that kind of responsibility on her young neighbor. This was her fault, all of it.

  She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and speed-dialed her sister.

  Lily took a while to answer, and when she did, she sounded groggy. “What’s up?”

  “Jasper got away.”

  Lily gasped and seemed instantly more alert. “What do you mean, got away?”

  “It’s a long story, Lil. But I’d really appreciate it if you’d come over and help me look for him. Come to the front of the apartment and then call me. I’ll give you my location at that point. I need to keep looking.”

  “Sure, I’ll help. I’ll make up a thermos of coffee and be right there.”

  “Thanks, Lily.” Anica snapped the phone closed. “All right. You two are free to go home.”

  “I want to help you look for him,” Julie said. “I feel partly to blame.”

  “Julie, you’re not. Truly.” Anica was the screwup. How she hated to apply that label to herself, but there was no avoiding it.

  Julie sidled closer. “Even if I’m not to blame, I want to help. I looked through your bookshelf, and I—”

  “All righty, then! You’re helping! Thanks!” Anica needed to get Julie off that topic immediately.

  “I’ll look, too,” Edna said.

  Anica faced Edna and prayed to Hera that she could control her temper. “I don’t want you to. He won’t come within a mile of you, anyway.”

  “That’s nonsense. He didn’t know where I was taking him.”

  Anica couldn’t tell her that Jasper had understood every word and had been convinced that if Edna won the tug-of-war he’d be robbed of his family jewels in short order. She couldn’t blame him for running. “You’d be surprised what animals know,” she said.

  Jasper hunkered down in an alley next to an old metal trash can and tried to figure out where he was. The alley mostly contained Dumpsters and large plastic garbage bins, the kind a truck could lift with a mechanized arm. But for some reason, this normal-sized trash can was sitting here, too.

  He wanted to orient himself before he did anything. The world looked completely different when you viewed it from twelve inches off the ground. He could get a better view from on top of the trash can but then he’d be more visible, and he sensed being visible might not be the best thing for a stray cat.

  That’s what he was now, a stray, and the thought sobered him quite a bit. He’d run on pure instinct, knowing he had to get away from the woman who planned to de-ball him. Freedom had felt great for about the first five minutes, but now he wasn’t sure what ground he’d gained. The potion might still work, but becoming naked in the middle of the city with no ID could be a problem.

  That was assuming the potion worked, but what if it didn’t or only worked for a little while, like last time? If he separated himself from Anica and her sister, he might end up stuck this way forever. He desperately needed to get back to Anica’s apartment, while making sure the Shoumatoff woman wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity.

  If Anica came looking for him, that would be better than him trying to get back to the apartment. She might, but then again she might figure finding him would be nearly impossible. The city had lots of alleys, lots of places where a cat could hide if it didn’t want to be found. She might give up the idea as hopeless. She might be relieved to be rid of him, to be honest.

  Briefly he considered trying to make his way to his condo, but then he realized that wouldn’t work out very well, either. The condo, by his design, had bucket loads of security, including good locks and a state-of-the-art alarm. He wouldn’t be able to go inside.

  His best bet was slowly retracing his steps to Anica’s apartment and then figuring out the easiest way to get in. Shoumatoff lived right down the hall from Anica. He’d have to be very careful.

  “You mangy sonofabitch! Get away from there!”

  Jasper looked around to see what mangy sonofabitch the guy was talking about. A brick whizzed by his head and smacked against the wall behind the trash can, and then another one hit the trash can itself with a loud clang.

  He was the mangy sonofabitch? Shit. There was nothing mangy about him. But he’d better get the hell out of there before he got beaned.

  The brick thrower had a mouth on him. Jasper was impressed by the creative string of curses the guy sent his way. He didn’t take time to look, but from the sound of boots smacking pavement and the brick that landed inches behind him, Jasper decided that the guy had retrieved his bricks from beside the trash can and was firing them off again.

  Scooting around a corner and down another alley, Jasper looked for a place to hide and spotted a partially collapsed cardboard box leaning against the side of a building. He ducked through the opening and heard a cat hiss. He was not alone.

  Anica’s imagination ran wild as she pictured Jasper flattened by a truck, attacked by stray dogs, trapped at the end of one of the blind alleys that crisscrossed the downtown area. She’d taken one route, while Julie had gone in another direction and Lily in a third. They kept track of each other by cell phone.

  Anica called Lily for probably the tenth time since they’d started looking.

  “What now?” Lily sounded short-tempered. She probably needed more caffeine.

  “Any luck?”

  “Anica, I told you last time. I’ll call you if I see a black cat, any black cat.” A blender whirred in the background.

  “You’re in Starbucks, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I stopped at Starbucks. You wanna complain about it?”

  “No, it’s okay, Lily.” Having her sister buy an espresso from the competition was the least of her worries right now. “Are you sure there isn’t some way you could use magic to find him?”

  “Not in broad daylight on a crowded street. I tried chanting a discovery spell on Michigan Avenue and a cop followed me for a block. I didn’t dare go down an alley looking for Jasper at that point or the cop might have taken me in for suspicious behavior.”

  “It’s been an hour. I’m scared that something’s happened to Jasper.”

  Lily’s tone softened. “I know you are, An. Don’t give up. We’ll find him. Gotta go. My triple shot is ready.”

  Anica closed her phone but kept it in her hand instead of tucking it back in her purse. Calling Jasper’s name, she continued down yet another alley lined with smelly Dumpsters. She was about to cross the street when her cell phone vibrated. She flipped it open, desperate for a scrap of hope. Julie!
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br />   “I found him, but he won’t come to me.”

  Anica’s heart hammered. “It’s him? You’re sure?”

  “Pretty sure. He’s all black, short hair, yellow eyes. His coat’s shiny. He doesn’t look like a stray.”

  “That sounds like Jasper. Now that he’s cleaned up, he’s a good-looking cat.” A flash of Jasper wearing only two kitchen towels flashed through her mind.

  “I’ll bet it’s him. He came close, but he won’t let me pick him up. He keeps going back to this cardboard box.”

  “Give me your location.” Anica made note of where Julie was, disconnected and called Lily. “Stop at a deli and get a chicken sandwich.”

  “You want me to take a lunch break?”

  “It’s for Jasper, in case we need an incentive. I think Julie’s found him.” She told Lily where to go as she ran down the street, her black coat flapping in the wind. On her way to meet Julie, she prayed to every Wiccan power she knew that the cat would be Jasper and he’d let her take him back to the apartment.

  Julie wouldn’t know what to say to him, but Anica had some ideas. Having Jasper escape had brought home the point that she couldn’t mess around with this anymore.

  Jasper might have lost faith in what she and Lily could do about reversing the spell. He also might have lost faith in her determination to protect him from people like Edna Shoumatoff. That had been a total cock-up, as Lily liked to say.

  As Anica approached the alley, she saw Lily hurrying toward her from the other direction. Lily had chosen to dress for the search in hooker boots with three-inch heels, a slinky black jumpsuit and a red leather trench coat. She wore cat’s-eye sunglasses decorated with rhinestones.

  Sometimes Anica wondered if either she or Lily had been adopted, because they had such totally different styles. But at the moment she was grateful that they were in fact sisters and that Lily was willing to help, even if she grumbled about it. Lily held a paper sack in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other. When she was within ten feet, Anica smelled the chicken.