by Marnie Perry
She seemed not to notice his discomfort but said she had better be going or she would be late for class. He watched her walk away, completely dumbfounded.
He got the same reception at Jemmy Butler’s place; he was greeted affably and was asked if he needed any help with the building which he answered in the negative. Jemmy had looked disappointed but had said that if he changed his mind he knew where to find him, then had wished him a good day and told him that his order would be delivered to him within the day. Lando had walked back to the cabin in a daze. It was only much later that he realised that the bills for his wood and other things from the store had been considerably less than he had thought.
Back at the cabin Lando had tried to concentrate on his work but the events of the previous morning kept intruding on his thoughts. He hated to admit it, but those people had saved his cabin and some of his most valuable possessions, including the most valuable ones, his animals.
Those people who he had shunned and ridiculed had come together to save his home. They had rallied round in his hour of need. He had to ask himself why that thought scared him so much. He hated to be beholden to them…to anyone. He just hoped that they would not use this new found friendliness toward him to think they could just call any time they wished. He didn’t want company, he didn’t need company, or at least that’s what he told himself, and he tried very hard to make himself believe it.
It turned out that Lando need not have worried, because after four weeks the townspeople had respected his privacy and kept their distance. Except for the first few mornings when Lomax had called by with casseroles and fruit. Lando had thanked him and told him to thank his wife Zelda, but Lomax had said they weren’t all from her but from several others, including Mrs. Hosewater who had thrown in another tube of ointment for his face. Lando wanted to ask how much ointment she thought he could use on one face but thought that would sound ungrateful so kept silent and Lomax had smiled a crafty smile.
Every day for three days he had asked Lando to dinner at his place and each time Lando had refused and eventually Lomax had taken the hint and stopped asking.
On this particular morning, four weeks and three days after the events at Glissando’s residence, Lando was just returning from his usual Foray in the woods when Dante, who had by now completely recovered from his injuries, stood still, pricked up his ears and let out a low growl then barked, and before Lando could stop him, took off through the woods towards the cabin. Lando called out to him to stop but he ignored him, Lando let out an oath and ran after him.
It was odd really, but after the incident with Guildenstern Lando thought that Dante would have been even more nervous and cautious than ever, on the contrary, he had become more outgoing, even going so far as to wander off by himself. Admittedly, only as far as the periphery of the woods or to the barn, but it was further than he had ever been alone before. Although he was still wary of people and hid when Lomax came, but once he knew it was him he came out of hiding and made a fuss of him. Lando wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or worried about his dog’s new found courage.
As he approached the cabin he slowed and raised his rifle, although he half expected to see Lomax sitting on the recently finished front porch.
But as he tuned the corner he drew to an abrupt halt and stood amazed at the sight before him. The woman had been squatting down petting Dante, but at the sight of him she rose awkwardly to her feet and smiled. It was a clumsy kind of smile as though she had forgotten how to do it. She raised her hands, ‘please don’t shoot me, Mr. Lando; I’ve really had enough of hospitals for the time being.’
The hand that held the rifle lowered of its own accord as if suddenly to heavy for it.
A range of emotions surged through him, shock, delight, anger, fear and joy. He seemed to have been standing there for an age before he managed to say, ‘what the hell you doing here?’
As the forced smile slid from her lips he thought, well done, Jonas, the first words she hears from you in four weeks are brusque and accusatory, but his shock had caused the bluntness.
She said, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call uninvited…again. But since I was here I wanted to see how you were, you and Dante and the others.’
He looked down at Dante who still stood by her side like the Judas he was. He had the feeling that if he called Dante to him the dog would not respond, and he didn’t want to test it so didn’t. She was wearing a cream coloured skirt which came to just above her knee and a very pretty peach coloured blouse with ruffles down the front. And despite her pale complexion she looked nice, very nice. He inwardly cursed himself for noticing how pretty she looked.
When he said nothing, she said, ‘I didn’t mean to intrude, and I won’t stay, but I had to know that you were all right.’
His reply was again abrupt, ‘we’re fine.’
She nodded, ‘good, that’s good.’
As if only asking because it was expected of him he said, ‘how’re you?’
‘Oh fine too. Fully recovered now, thank you.’
Her gaunt features and even thinner physique gave the lie to that answer and her expression told him that she knew he didn’t believe her.
He knew that she would have to take antibiotics for the rest of her life to stave off any infections she could not now fight as easily after the splenectomy.
She looked at the cabin and said, ‘the window and door are in different places, ‘when he remained silent she went on, ‘you’ve done wonders in such a short time all by yourself. You must have worked really hard.’
He shrugged as though hard work was nothing, which it wasn’t, he preferred to keep busy, it prevented him from thinking things he did not want to think, or at least that was the idea. He wondered how she knew he had done it all by himself, but then she had probably learned enough about him to know he would shun outside help.
‘And how are Josie and Maynard?’ She asked.
He was surprised she had remembered the mare and foal’s names but said, ‘fine.’
‘That’s good.’ He said nothing and was taken aback when she asked, ‘can I see them?’
His surprise made him hesitate and she looked uncomfortable for a moment then said, ‘if it’s not too much trouble, I know you’re busy.’
‘I am.’ He said bluntly
Adela looked momentarily crestfallen then nodded and turned as if to leave but his saying, ‘but I was just about to take a break anyway,’ caused her to turn back.
She looked quickly at him then gave that half smile before following him into the barn.
When Adela saw the foal she gasped and went running over to it. She stroked his back and enthused, ‘my, but he’s grown so much in such a short time.’
‘He’s the right size for his age.’ Lando replied.
She glanced at him thinking he was making a joke but he wasn’t smiling so she must have been wrong. She patted the mare and said, ‘you’re doing a good job with your son mum, he’s a bonny boy, you must be very proud.’ The mare whinnied as though saying, "thanks," but Adela did not laugh as she had before, only smiled that smile that did not quite reach her eyes.
Lando watched her closely out of the corner of his eye as she petted the mare and foal but not forgetting to give Dante the odd pat on the head too.
She looked different somehow, well she would wouldn’t she after everything she had been through. But there was something else about her, a kind of quiet calm that had not been there before. Of course he had not known her before she had been caught up in the middle of something horrible, something violent and evil. But there was a definite change in her, she seemed very composed and in control, almost tranquil. He wondered if she had read the dossier on Hennessey and that had reassured her somewhat. Or maybe her brush with death had put things into perspective, well, whatever it was, she appeared different. He noticed that she when she rose to her feet she held onto something to assist her. His stomach knotted with concern for her.
She brought him out of h
is reverie by asking, ‘can I see the other animals please?’
He hesitated as he had before then nodded and led the way into the little animal hospital where again she petted and fussed over the creatures. She asked about the condition of this fox and that rabbit.
As he watched her with the animals, his ire began to grow. Why had she come here? Why had she come to disrupt his life again just as he was beginning to put it back in order and forget about everything that had happened, to forget about her? His resentment prevented him from seeing the lie in that last question.
He said curtly, ‘you didn’t answer my question.’ She looked at him perplexed, ‘I asked what’re ya doing here?’
‘I told you, I wanted to see how you were, make sure you were all right, all of you.’
He snapped, ‘that’s not what I meant and you know it, what are you doing here in Alban?’
She looked away as though not wanting to answer that question, then took a deep breath, ‘when I was released from hospital I went to recuperate in a hotel, but, well, I got tired of people asking if I was all right and if I needed assistance. Some even asked what had happened to me. I just got weary of it and so I decided to leave. I called the realtor, the same one who had got the cabin for me, and asked if he had any properties for rent, he told me that the cabin I had previously been in was vacant. I must admit I hesitated but then thought, why not, it was empty, I needed a place and so,’ she held out her arms as if to say, “here I am.”
He was aghast, ‘you’re staying in the same cabin.’
She nodded, ‘yes.’
‘All alone?’
‘Yes, this is my third day.’
His face stretched with incredulity. Not only that she had been her all this time and he hadn’t known. He had seen Lomax the day before and he had not said a word. But that she would stay in that place all alone. The place where it all began. He said, ‘why? Why would you want to stay there? Have you learned nothing from your experience?’
She didn’t seem to take offence at his criticism but said calmly, ‘why not? What happened to me didn’t happen there did it? Nor even in this state, and I’m hardly likely to go to the aid of another young girl,’ her lips twitched slightly, ‘they do say that lightening never strikes twice in the same place don’t they?’
He just stared at her as though she was quite mad. ‘Why didn’t you just go home?’ He snapped.
She looked hurt for a moment before the mask she had been wearing since she had arrived slipped back into place, leaving her face expressionless. ‘I can’t go home, not yet. I just couldn’t stand the pitying glances of my family, the “I told you so’s,” both expressive and verbal. I want to be fully recovered before I face them then they need never know what happened here.’
His face was a picture of astonishment, ‘why wouldn’t you want them to know. They could help you, comfort you.’
Her smile was almost contemptuous as she said, ‘that’s a nice thought, Mr. Lando, and in an ideal world and in an ideal family that’s what would happen.’
His eyes narrowed and she looked away and began patting Josie again, kneading her fingers into her thick soft mane. She said very quietly, ‘and…and I just wanted to see if I could do it, if I could be alone without starting at every sound, every movement. I need to be able to go to bed without checking every room and every window three times. I need to be able to sleep without the light on and one eye open,’ she turned to look at him, ‘I can’t live my life like that, Mr. Lando.’
He was astounded by her candour. It took some guts to do what she was doing after everything she’d been through, and even more guts to admit her fears, particularly to him.
His tone was softer than it had hitherto been, ‘I can understand that.’
She looked at him for so long he had to look away from the intensity of her gaze. Eventually he said, ‘what about the rest of your vacation?
She shrugged, ‘I don’t know, I’m not sure what I’ll do now.’
There followed another uncomfortable silence until she said, ’well, I’ll go now, leave you in peace. It was nice seeing you again, and Dante and the others too.’ Goodbye, Mr. Lando.’ Then she was gone.
He stood staring at the door then looked down at Dante who looked back as if to say, “What you waiting for? Go after her.”
She was just walking past the cabin when he exited the barn and before he knew it he had called, ‘I have something that belongs to you.’
She paused in her stride and turned to him a questioning look on her face. He walked past her and into the cabin leaving the door open. After a few seconds she followed but stopped dead on the threshold and gasped. With more animation than she had shown since she arrived. ‘Oh gosh, Mr. Lando,’ she cried, ‘it’s delightful,’ she stepped into the room, ‘so lovely and bright and, well, bright.’
For some reason he felt embarrassed by her enthusiasm and praise and felt as though he should explain why he had made the changes, he didn’t of course, instead he opened a drawer and took out a small white bag which he handed to her.
She took it from his hand and opened it, inside were her hair clips.
She looked at them then up at Lando surprise evident in her eyes, ‘thank you, very much. I’m surprised they survived the fire.’
He dropped his eyes for a moment before nodding to his right, ‘they were in a drawer in the kitchen, which wasn’t too badly damaged.’
She turned to follow his gaze and noticed the new mahogany counter and cupboards.
She asked, ’did you do those yourself?’ Stupid question she thought, of course he did.
He nodded and she said, ‘you’re very clever, Mr. Lando, you can turn your hand to just about anything, construction, carpentry, decorating.’ She looked behind her at the window and a small smile playing mischievously on her lips finished, ‘sewing and embroidery.’
He raised his eyebrows not just at her compliment but at her teasing. He said, ‘my mother was always sewing, I picked up a few tips.’
It was her turn to raise her eyebrows as her eyes widened, ‘you really did make the curtains?’
‘Just the sewing, I don’t have the patience for embroidery.’
It was hard to say who was the more surprised, Adela that he sewed and admitted it, or Lando because he had shared some personal information with her.
She smiled her first real smile, although it was a watered down version of the one Lando had seen when he had met her in the woods before all the horror had begun, there was no sparkle in her eyes. The smile lasted only a few seconds before it vanished.
She walked over to the grandfather clock and said, ‘oh, I’m so happy the clock survived.’
She looked at the wall beside it then turned to Lando her expression grave. ‘The picture of the little house didn’t survive the fire?’
He didn’t answer but looked away and she let out a heartfelt sigh, ‘I’m so sorry. I really liked that picture, it was…intriguing.’
He looked impatient as if he had no time for such things. There followed a silence as she stood staring at the now empty wall as though she could still see the painting there. Eventually she turned to him and said, ‘could I see the rest of the house?’
Again he was surprised by her request but shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other. She went into the bedroom and he followed. As with the living room she enthused over the décor and complimented him on his taste. After she’d seen the bathroom which she told him now seemed to look bigger and brighter she turned and went back into the bedroom. He noticed that she had used the word bright three times now, maybe she was telling him something.
When he joined her in the bedroom he found her standing in the middle of the room just staring into space. Before he could ask if there was something wrong she turned to him and said very softly, ‘Mr. Lando, I’m so very sorry that you’ve had all this extra work on top of everything else, you’ve had a lot of trouble and expense because of me.’
He said nothing just watched her face waiting for her to say what he knew she would. She said, ‘Mr. Lando…
He cut her off, ‘the answer is no.’
She frowned wondering how he knew what she had been about to say. He said, ‘it needed doing, it’s not been decorated since my grandparents lived here.’
‘This was your grandparent’s cabin?’
He nodded, ‘they lived here until they died, within three months of each other.’
‘Oh, I'm sorry.’
He shrugged, ‘it was a long time ago.’
‘Still, it was their home and because of me it was almost destroyed. Please, Mr. Lando…
Again he cut her off, ‘I said no, I neither want nor need your money.’ This last part was untrue but what the hell.
She knew better than to argue with him although she wanted to.
She left the bedroom, he followed. Once in the living room she said, ‘oh, I almost forgot, Ellis, Detective Leyton, sends his regards.’
His eyes widened, ‘you’ve seen him?’
‘Yes. We spent some time in the same hospital don’t forget. I left before he did.’ Her eyes were anguished now, ‘He…he had to stay for skin grafts. I went back every day to visit. His parents came to take him home last week, they were awfully nice people and very friendly to me. Although Ellis didn’t tell them who I was or they might not have been.’
Lando told himself that his anger stemmed from her constant belief that she was to blame for everything, he told himself this so as not to admit to the real reason. He said caustically, ‘you might find the solution to your fear in that isolated cabin, but where will you go to rid yourself of your unnecessary guilt?’
She looked sharply at him, ‘unnecessary? It’s not unnecessary, Mr. Lando, but deserved.’
‘Will you quit that, quit taking on the responsibility for everyone else’s actions.’
She didn’t look angry or offended at his brusque words, but said calmly, ‘I am to blame, partially anyway, and you can tell me I’m not until the sky turns a bright shade of pink and the clouds into purple candyfloss but it won’t alter the facts.’
