Book Read Free

Doctor How and the Illegal Aliens: Book 1: The Doctor Who Is Not a Time Lord

Page 16

by Mark Speed


  They watched as the two men in NBC suits emerged from the armoured door under the viewing gallery.

  “So what’s the plan?” asked Ware. “This is your op.”

  “After we enter the chamber I need to reconnect the Spectrels. We’ll jam all the security services’ systems, of course – doors and alarms. You two just need to keep those goons in the Noddy suits busy whilst I work my magic as a jump-start lead.”

  “Gotcha,” said Kevin. “Like, how long do you need?”

  “Maybe thirty seconds.”

  “That’s actually quite a long time, Doc,” said Kevin. “For example, to smash and grab from a car you’ve got five, max. A good shoplifting move is, like, two.”

  “Kids these days, eh?” said Ware. “Still, I’m glad you’re an equal-opportunities employer and looking to fill that critical thieving skills gap so prevalent in the time-travelling community.” He winked at Kevin. “It’s alright Kevin. You know, his brother –”

  “Leave my brother out of this, David. Please, be serious. I’m relying on you both to keep them busy for thirty seconds. That’s all.”

  “What do you suggest we do?” asked Kevin.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Perform a comedy sketch, ask them what brand of shampoo they use, run around a bit or something. They won’t be expecting us, so you’ll take them completely by surprise. Now, come on, let’s go to the door.”

  Doctor How walked to where he and Kevin had entered. A crack of darkness opened in the dazzling white of the wall and formed the shape of a doorway. Kevin stood directly behind him and Ware right behind Kevin. From the projection above the console they could hear Jackson cry out with pain as he touched the badge on the cab. Ware laughed. “That’s my girl,” he said.

  “Okay,” said Doctor How. “Double-quick. Go!”

  The Doctor leapt forward and disappeared. Kevin took two quick steps and found himself in the concrete chamber, next to Ware’s Spectrel. The two men in Noddy suits were just a few feet away and were looking up at the viewing gallery. He gawped for a second at the extraordinary transition he had made from nowhere to this place. Ware slammed into his back and he sprawled to the floor, which seemed to be shaking under his body.

  “Don’t you learn? Never stop in a doorway,” said Ware, grabbing his hoodie and pulling him to his feet.

  Kevin glanced around. Doctor How’s red telephone box was glowing brightly right in front of the black cab. The Doctor had climbed up onto the bonnet and was stretching out to connect its badge with the crown on his own Spectrel using his hands as the contacts.

  “That’s them!” echoed Thickett’s voice from a loudspeaker. It echoed around the chamber. The men in the Noddy suits turned and took a step back as they took in the sudden appearance of a glowing telephone box and three intruders in such a secure installation. “Get them! Arrest those three men!” yelled Thickett.

  “Argh!” croaked Doctor How, as his hands connected the two Spectrels. His body shook and his hair stood on end.

  The two men stepped towards Kevin, who began running. “It’s not me you want – it’s him!” said Kevin, gesticulating up at Thickett. “He’s a paedo!”

  “Metropolitan Police, Child Sexual Crimes Section,” said Ware, standing his ground. “Mr Thickett is wanted for perverting the course of justice. And being a pervert.”

  “Urgh,” gargled Doctor How.

  The concrete floor shook again, enough to make the Doctor slip on the cab’s bonnet and lose touch with the crown of his Spectrel. One of the men in Noddy suits fell over. Ware steadied himself against his Spectrel. Kevin tripped over a slab of concrete, which had been pushed up as cracks appeared in the floor. As he lay on the shaking concrete, the floor in front of him erupted in a spray of concrete and mud. He twisted his body just fast enough to dodge a chunk slamming down where he’d been lying. As he tried to get up he felt himself being lifted as the floor rose next to his head and left him at a forty-five degree angle. A pair of black mandibles sliced through the steel reinforcement embedded in the concrete, the slab jerked up to ninety degrees and he pushed back onto his feet. The stench of oil made his head swim.

  A three-foot black antenna swished through the air and knocked him on the left side of his head, crushing the top of his ear against his skull. He felt blood on his hand, and ran back as the front end of a huge black creature emerged from the hole. The slab that Kevin had been lifted on slammed backwards onto the floor with a deafening bang which reverberated around the chamber. One of the creature’s legs caught on a metal toolbox and its contents went flying, the tools ringing and clattering to the floor.

  Doctor How took his position on the bonnet of the cab again. The two men in Noddy suits ran for the exit under the viewing gallery and hammered on the massive steel door.

  “Yurgh! David. For God’s sake, stun it with your Ultraknife,” shouted the Doctor. “It’s our only hope.”

  “I can’t. It’s in the glove compartment.”

  “Well, open your Spectrel and get it. Argh!” The Doctor’s body jerked under the strain of the power coursing through his body between the Spectrels.

  “No, it’s in me cab what’s back at your place.”

  “You left your…? EEE!”

  The rest of the beast crashed through into the chamber, scattering more mud and pieces of concrete across the floor. The panicked men in Noddy suits stopped hammering at the exit, turned and stared in awe and terror, their backs pressed against the door.

  “It was useful on the job. You know, tricky customers, starting the cab on a cold morning, that sort of thing.”

  “You idiot. Argh! You know you should never… Ugh! Misuse of…Oonf!”

  “Give him your Ultraknife, Doctor!” screamed Kevin, as the beast turned and began to focus its attention on the humans and Time Keepers.

  “I. Urgh! I can’t. Security. It’s in my pocket. Can’t reach. Yerrgh!”

  “You’re bleedin’ useless, the pair of you!”

  “Get in the Spectrel,” yelled the Doctor. “Turn the Taxi light on.”

  “She still won’t let me in.”

  Jackson and the other man resumed their futile banging at the security door. “Get them!” Thickett screamed. “They control the creature. Do something!”

  Jackson picked up a hammer which had fallen near his feet. He took aim and threw it at the creature’s mouth. The hammer hit a set of inner mandibles and the creature hissed, turning its attention fully on the men in Noddy suits.

  “Noooo!” screamed the Doctor.

  It was too late – the creature lunged for the men, punching and ripping a hole in the steel door with a mandible. The Doctor jumped down from the bonnet and reached into his pocket. The creature jerked around and caught Jackson’s leg with a mandible, slicing it off below the knee. The severed leg and foot arced up in the air and bounced off the window of the viewing gallery, smearing it with blood.

  “Kill it, Doctor!” shouted Thickett.

  “I can’t!” shouted the Doctor. “It’s petrochemical. We have no idea what happens when it dies – it could blow us all to smithereens!”

  “The Taxi light just came on!” shouted Kevin. “I’ll get its attention.”

  The creature was waving its antennae over Jackson, who lay paralysed, blood from his severed leg pouring out onto the floor.

  Kevin ran from the cab and kicked the creature in the area where he thought its reproductive organs would be, then jumped back as it turned to face him. He vaulted the bonnet of the cab. The creature took in the information and hissed. The Doctor ran for Jackson. The creature hesitated, then nature took its course as it saw the amber light on top of the cab. It scuttled around the back of the Spectrel and began to mount it.

  “You’re going to be alright,” said the Doctor to Jackson, who was losing consciousness. He took out a bandage from his pocket and tied a tourniquet above the man’s knee. Jackson’s colleague approached him, carrying a heavy spanner. “Drop it,” said the Doctor. The man raised the
spanner and the Doctor whipped out his Ultraknife and stunned him. The man fell to the floor. The clang of the spanner caused the creature to turn its attention back to Jackson and the Doctor.

  “He’s attacking our men!” shouted Thickett over the intercom.

  “He’s defending himself,” protested Peterson.

  “Well, why didn’t he stun the creature?”

  “It could blow up – don’t you listen?”

  All this time, Ware had been leaning back against the driver’s door of his Spectrel, his palms spread on its flanks, strangely calm and passive. Now that the creature was mounting the rear of the cab, he edged away and turned his back to the Doctor, who was moving his Ultraknife back and forth across Jackson’s bloody stump.

  “Kevin, bring me that man’s leg,” said the Doctor.

  Kevin looked at the creature, looked at Ware, then ran to get the severed leg from the corner of the chamber. The limb was still in its one-piece rubber trouser and boot. The ragged end of the rubber Noddy suit was smeared with blood. It was heavier than he’d thought it would be, and jiggled around in the boot in a sickening way as he jogged over to where the Doctor was kneeling beside the groaning Jackson and his unconscious colleague.

  “Can you…?” asked Kevin.

  “Maybe,” said the Doctor. “It’s a clean cut, but if I can just…” He peeled back the rubber from above the knee, and took the lower leg from its boot. “If I can just connect the major veins and arteries… bit tricky, even in the best of circumstances.”

  Kevin glanced around. The creature was absorbed in its act of passion. Ware had climbed onto the bonnet of the cab, just three feet from the creature’s head. “Dave,” he said under his breath, amazed at Ware’s bravery.

  The Doctor looked up and followed Kevin’s gaze to see his cousin place the palm of his hand on the crown of the telephone box. “David! No! You’re not fit enough.”

  “Cobblers. I feel like me old self, Peter. Just you watch this, me old China.” Ware reached his palm down to the badge on the nose of the cab.

  “No!” shouted the Doctor. “Get away from there!”

  “I cannot deny my timeline,” said Ware. “I am Where once more!”

  Where’s palm made contact and closed the connection between the two Spectrels. His scream sent a shock down Kevin’s spine. In that instant Where’s Spectrel vanished from beneath him. He fell, his head hit the floor with a thwack and his body went limp. The creature’s impact with the concrete was louder. It paused for a couple of seconds then let out a loud hiss, its mouth just a couple of feet from Where’s unconscious body.

  “Where’s his Spectrel gone?” asked Kevin.

  “I haven’t got time to explain.” The Doctor glanced at his patient, then at the creature, which was turning its attention towards them again. “We have to get out of here, all of us. Now. Grab these and hold them tight.”

  Kevin took hold of Jackson’s upper and lower leg and pushed them together.

  “David, you bloody idiot,” muttered the Doctor. He began creeping towards his fallen cousin.

  “Doctor, how can we help?” asked Peterson over the intercom.

  “Not stealing things you don’t understand, for a start,” he shouted back.

  “What can we do now?”

  The Doctor glanced around him. “If you can turn that amber traffic light on.” He pointed to the set of lights by the exit to the surface.

  “It’s a trick,” said Thickett. “He wants you to open the exit so that he can escape with his monster.”

  “It’s not a trick,” said Peterson.

  “How do you know?”

  “That thing is distracted by amber lights. Didn’t you see? Now, get out of my way.”

  “Miss Peterson –”

  “It’s Doctor Peterson, Mr Thickett. In scientific matters you have to give way to my superior training. This, Mr Thickett, is just such a time.”

  “We will be talking about your conduct in this situation at your next performance review,” seethed Thickett.

  The Doctor continued creeping towards Where. The creature jerked to the right to bring its full attention on him. “Good boy,” he said. “You don’t like eating things.”

  Peterson began flicking switches up in the viewing gallery.

  “No luck?” called the Doctor.

  “I’m trying, I’m trying,” said Peterson. “Keep it distracted.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  The creature took a step towards the Doctor. He inched back, then began skirting around behind his Spectrel, away from Kevin and Jackson.

  “Don’t leave me, Doctor!” shouted Kevin.

  “No one’s abandoning you, Kevin,” said the Doctor, continuing to circle round to the creature’s right. “You’re the least of my worries right now because you’re doing very well.”

  He came back into the creature’s view from behind his Spectrel. The creature shifted position once more to keep him in sight. “Oh, drat, double-drat, drat squared, and drat to the power of drat. You’re not at all mesmerised by my Spectrel’s light are you, my coleopteran cretin? Oh, who gave you a big body but kept your brain the size of pinhead? I would love to know. You’re so brainless you could be a human politician.” He kept on moving round and the creature shifted again to keep him in view.

  “Can’t you, like, shine an amber light from your Ultraknife?” said Kevin.

  “Oh, thank you Kevin. I really hadn’t thought of that.”

  “It’s just that it can –”

  “Well, it just can’t flaming well do that. Alright?”

  “Sorry, just trying to help.”

  The creature lunged at the Doctor, who leapt sideways as it slammed into the wall, sending a shower of concrete fragments rattling to the floor.

  “It’s not happy, Doctor Peterson.”

  “I can see that, Doctor,” said Peterson. The sound of her desperately flicking switches was audible over the intercom.

  The Doctor moved towards the main exit, which was as far away from his own Spectrel as he could be in the chamber without backing into a corner. He raised his Ultraknife as the creature began moving towards him again.

  “Kevin, start dragging that chap over to the Spectrel, will you? Put your hands under his shoulders and drag him.”

  “He’s going to take a hostage,” said Thickett. “I’ll make sure he gets fifteen years for that.”

  Kevin pulled Jackson towards the telephone box. The severed lower leg was now hanging on to the upper part of the limb by a couple of shreds of tissue.

  “Got it!” said Peterson.

  The Doctor heard a click above him and glanced up at the traffic light. “You’re colour-blind, Doctor Peterson – that’s green.”

  “I’m nearly there.”

  The beast hunkered down on its feet, ready to leap forwards again at the Doctor. He held up his Ultraknife and braced himself. “I don’t want to do this, beastie,” he said softly. “It might hurt all of us as much as it’ll hurt you.”

  Click.

  The beast jumped, the Doctor dived, rolled to the side and scrabbled to his feet, his Ultraknife still pointing at the beast. The creature had leapt onto the wall and was caressing the amber light with its antennae.

  “Okay, Kevin, let’s go!” shouted the Doctor. He ran to help Kevin pull Jackson the last couple of yards to the door of the telephone box. “We need to get David. Hurry.”

  They each put their hands under one of Where’s armpits and pulled with all their might to drag him next to Jackson. “If he recovers, he’s going on a diet immediately,” gasped the Doctor. “Now, get that man into the Spectrel.”

  On the other side of the chamber, Jackson’s colleague staggered to his feet, taking in the situation. He bent down to pick up his heavy spanner again.

  The Spectrel’s door swung open. Kevin got behind Jackson’s head and pulled him the last couple of feet into the Spectrel. They disappeared and the door closed.

  “See that?” gaspe
d Thickett. “Kidnapping.”

  “Right, come on, you big lump,” said the Doctor, grabbing his cousin under the armpits. The Spectrel’s door opened again.

  Jackson’s colleague lumbered towards the Doctor and raised the spanner.

  The Doctor fumbled for his Ultraknife and jabbed at it. The man collapsed and the spanner clanged to the floor. “Sorry!” said the Doctor. With a loud grunt he pulled his cousin into the Spectrel and disappeared. The door closed.

  Peterson and Thickett looked at each other, then back down at the chamber. The creature was halfway up the wall next to the main exit, grinding its lower body against the surface. The other member of their team was lying unconscious in his Noddy suit on the floor. The chamber itself was a wreck – a gaping hole towards one corner, and damage to the wall in a couple of places.

  “I don’t know what you propose to do now, Miss Peterson,” said Thickett.

  “What I intend to do, Mr Thickett? You chose to take Where’s Spectrel.”

  “How am I going to explain this to the minister?” wailed Thickett. “And what do we do with the creature? Our communications are still jammed. We’re helpless.”

  “He’s still here,” said Peterson.

  The red telephone box continued to glow in the chamber below.

  “He’s still got our internal communications jammed,” said Thickett.

  “I doubt there’s much anyone could do to help us.”

  The door of the Spectrel opened again, and the Doctor stepped out and glanced around. “Look, sorry about the mess. Technically it’s not my fault. This thing – or maybe these things plural, are after either my cousin or me. We don’t know why. They seem to home in on the signal from a weakened Spectrel. Bit of an own goal, bringing one here after my cousin’s Spectrel had been pinpointed by whoever it is. I do hope you’re insured.”

  “What are we going to do about that creature?” asked Peterson.

 

‹ Prev