From the Beginning: The Old World

by Kurtz, Timna

  Still looking at me, he toddled towards me on his crutches, his gaze pinning me to my spot. Paralyzed and frozen, all I could do was wait for him to reach me and lay his wrath upon me. But when he grew near, and the look in his eyes cleared, I could see that his eyes were not filled with rage. There was no trace of anger or frustration—only love and immense appreciation reflected from them.

  The intensity of his feelings for me eroded my balance, and a flood of tears came gushing out of my eyes. Eddie reached me just as I buried my face in my palms.

  “Shshsh….” he whispered and embraced me warmly, supporting himself with the crutches under his armpits. “Enough. Enough, my pretty.” He kissed me, stroking my face, wiping the tears away. He kissed me and caressed me again, and I just couldn’t stop crying. “I am so proud of you!” he whispered in my ear those words I wished to hear for so long—the words I yearned him to say then…a long time ago…

  * * *

  Chapter 9

  After a lunch that was very tasty, all of a sudden due to everyone’s raised spirits, we joined forces for the task ahead. Like a swarm of busy ants, we went up and down, moving all of our belongings down the island to the lower level where we found a spacious cave filled with crypts and passages. Now, whenever anyone was looking for some privacy, they could have it. The excitement was at its peak. Until sundown, no one was able to sit still. They were all running around, studying the layout of the new territory with all the new possibilities that had opened up before us. Some were exploring the inner structure of the cave, dividing the alcoves for couples and singles according to the varied relationships formed within the group. Others repeatedly asked me to show and explain my plants to them, drawing my attention to the extra seeds we had in our possession. And so, to my surprise, amongst the bags of rice and wheat, I found other kinds of dried legumes such as peas, beans, corn, and chickpeas, that could easily and quickly sprout and give fruit. On that day, I had such a wonderful spiritual lift, that for a few hours, I was able to forget the empty void within me created when I lost my beloved child Idan.

  At dusk, we gathered and huddled in the middle of the big cave, our new home. At nightfall, when darkness surrounded us, to everyone’s surprise, Roan took out from one of the supply crates a large candle and some matches.

  “I didn’t want to bring this out before. I wanted to wait for the right moment, when we knew there was a reason to use the matches. Besides, what good can wet matches be, right?” He winked at us. There couldn’t be a finer moment than that.

  The large candle was relatively small for the space in the cave, but it illuminated the darkness with a soft and magical light. Hypnotized, like we were seeing fire for the first time in our lives, we gazed at the yellowish-blue flame that flickered once in a while, creating dancing shadows on the cave’s walls.

  “I feel like a cave man!” commented someone in the group, and we all smiled and nodded in agreement. “I feel like Adam and Eve…” someone else whispered shyly, and we all laughed as we knew that a brave new relationship was forming between her and another man in the group. “And me—!” Roan stood tall. “I feel like Robinson Crusoe!” he called out loudly, full of the joy of life that echoed throughout the cave, creating a new wave of healthy laughter.

  For the first time since arriving on the island, we dined in the cave basking in the candle light, and it seemed as if this meal was even tastier than the last one.

  Everyone’s spirits were high, and the evening continued with a cheerful note, orchestrated by Roan.

  When the candle showed early signs of distinguishing, people started disbursing, some coupled and some on their own to their new sleeping niches.

  As I was watching the fading flame, I remembered my sweet Idan blowing on the candles at his last birthday party, celebrating three springs from his date of birth, making one naïve wish—let there always be light! My heart cringed, and the void came back to fill me inside.

  So magical was this light that I didn’t want it to ever burn out, it was like the last connection I still had with Idan. I didn’t even blink, so scared I might miss even one second of this light.

  “Come, let’s go to sleep,” a warm whisper caressed the back of my neck, pushing away all the sad thoughts. “We all had a busy day—you especially,” Eddie kept gently nagging, rubbing his nose up and down my neck and ears. I smiled and turned my head, responding to the pampering tickle. “Soon the candle will burn out, and we won’t see our way,” he provided a compelling argument. I wanted to stay next to the candle so badly, to relive the memory, but what convinced me more than everything else to stand on my feet, was the burning look of desire in Eddie’s eyes. A different kind of lump was now lodged in my throat when my own desire awakened as a response to his. I was waiting almost impatiently for him, when he leaped behind me into our private sleeping nook, which was, of course, the biggest and best located. The candle light did not reach us anymore, but who needs light? I almost devoured him.

  The empty void that opened inside me since Idan was lost, only wished to be filled again with love and passion. Panting and excited we tried to stay as quiet as we could. Nevertheless, these were not sound proofed niches. We lay on the cave’s hard floor. Because of his broken leg, and since I was so eager to feel him inside of me, I turned him on his back and mounted him. My hands and mouth did not detach from his body for a second, and without delaying, I sat on his pelvic inserting his manhood inside me. It was hard to stifle my cry of pleasure. It was most difficult to move gently, so not to cause him pain, when desire was wildly pounding in me. And still, I moved on him sensually and slowly, feeling him fill me to the brim. I once again admired our perfect compatibility, and felt the void in me being filled, bursting as I rapidly reached my climax.

  I was dizzy, hazed, not knowing if he was as satisfied as I was. I lost all sense of reality and wished this feeling would last forever, just like that happy day when I found out the seeds of love were planted inside of me and I became pregnant, just like the magnificent feeling I had on that special day I first held Idan, seconds after he came into the world.

  I lay exhausted on Eddie’s body, hearing his heart pounding in sync with mine. Judging by his heavy breathing I could tell that he was satisfied too. Sweating and beat we lay hugging, entangled, as one.

  “Eddie…?” I whispered?

  “What, my lovely?”

  “I want us to make a baby together. I want to have your child…” I sobbed silently. He pulled me to him, almost squashing me.

  “So do I…” he whispered, with tears choking his throat. “So do I…”

  The following days were filled with love and sensuality. An occasional brush against each other in passing was rapidly followed by little fondling, which we made an “effort” to hide when we were in an open space or in the company of others. But once we found ourselves on our own, the heat of passion took over, even though Eddie’s injury quite limited his movements. There was hardly a night that went by without us making love. We both yearned for it, trying to fill the emptiness brought on by loss, trying to love like we once promised.

  At first we received forgiving looks from the group members, but as the days went by I started to sense a certain tension arising in some of the men and women who had no partners. I could clearly see women who lusted over Eddie, and I could feel on my body the longing gazes of at least two men. The quiver that was caused by their looks was strange on one hand but somewhat familiar on the other. It wasn’t fear that I felt, but a sense of unrest that flowed through me.

  At the same time I could see my female friends hoping and praying for the same miracle I wished for myself. We all wished to be pregnant again, but the long weeks with hardly any food caused us all to lose a great deal of weight. For some of us, including me, the menstrual cycle stopped. This fact troubled me deeply, due not only to the frustration I had felt for not being able to conceive a child but also at the sight of the thinning food supplies. Even though we could notice the first
bloom of rice and wheat and other plants we had sowed, but even the rice, which is the fastest growing crop, would need at least eight weeks before we would be able to enjoy its fruit.

  Some of the trees were already completely exposed and their branches were used for our evening bonfires in the cave, but my soul could not find rest.

  The vibe inside of me kept bothering me too. I felt it calling me to unite with myself and to receive answers. Each time I had this feeling, I would look up, to the top of the island, to our first cave, as if a voice coming out of it was calling me to come.

  About two weeks after we moved to the lower level of the island, in the early afternoon hours as I was working on a small patch of pea crop that had just started to bloom, the strangest thing happened: suddenly, dead silence was all around!

  We didn’t notice that the lowering levels of waters were accompanied by a muffled, soft trickling sound. So entwined were we with actions of survival, that we were unaware of the rustling sounds of the lowering levels of water. Now the sound had stopped. It was the day the water level was set and the waters seized from going down!

  The weird silence caused me to stand erect at once. The familiar vibe intensely passed through my spine, telling me that things were going to happen soon, and I must be ready for them. The vibe kept moving to my legs, and without the ability to resist, carried me up the trail to the sight of our first cave. The closer I got to my destination, the vibe increased and so did my excitement from knowing that something grand was about to arrive and change my life completely, again….

  * * *

  Chapter 10

  The cave was dark, just like it was the first time I found it, only this time I had no flashlight or someone with me that could give me some moral support and boost my confidence.

  I was by myself, but I knew the cave well. I entered through the narrow passage up to the stone stairs, and there I paused closing my eyes to adapt them to the darkness, but the vibe took over, making it clear to me that it would be the one to lead me and that I should put my trust in this feeling. I began moving with my eyes closed in the direction the vibe was pulling me to—as if there was another vibe within the cave that wanted to become one with my internal flow.

  I climbed the stone stairs, reaching the large rock bed, where the group stayed up until two weeks ago. I kept moving forward, leaning on my hands and knees, feeling my way. I felt uncontrollable impulses guiding me—like a blind mole guided through the underground tunnels driven solely by its natural instinct.

  In the silence of the cave, I could hear the vibe filling my ears, flowing from the palms of my hands into the rocky floor, climbing the cave’s walls and echoing back to me.

  I progressed in the direction where I could sense the strongest resonance. Here the vibe was most powerful and was heard well even in the dark space. The sound became clearer and sounded more and more familiar. For some reason it reminded me of the sound of trickling water of a small brook, or the sound of the gentle flow of water on a rock–the same moment this thought went through my mind, one of my palms touched cool, flowing water! I opened my eyes. By now, my eyes were adjusted to the darkness, and the light coming from the large opening, where we found Eddie injured, provided me with sufficient light. The trickling sound I heard was real! A small brook of water was flowing underneath my hands, not even a brook, just a thin trickle of water, which was not wider than 20 centimeters. The tiny trickle slowly flowed to the edge of the rocks at the end of the cave reaching the opening, and from there kept flowing alongside the stone walls, passed the spot where Eddie was found lying all the way down until it reached the big sea.

  I was in awe of this sight: When we resided in the cave there wasn’t even a hint of all of this, and it’s only been two weeks of descending water levels. Then how can it be that water is coming out of the rock and at the top of the island no less?! And if so, where is the water coming from?

  I stood on my knees, rubbing my face with my wet hands, refreshing my skin with the cool water. The fragrance of the water reminded me of the magical clear waters that flowed through the valley fields, in which we would stop to bath and drink sweet spring waters to replenish our spirits in the midst of a long hike.

  I leaned to the spring again, dipping my lips in the wonderful coolness of the water. Indeed, their taste was sweet and pure! I found the water of life! I took long sips, relishing their crystal clear taste—no more bland sea water! Now we could fill our vessels with sweet water. I kept on crawling on all fours up the little stream progressing to the edge of the surface that we had used as a sleeping area. There, right at the end, a kind of large shelf was protruding out of the cave’s wall, and its concaving shape looked like a large bath tub. Previously, this stone shelf was used to store our food, but now it was overflowing with water which flowed downwards draining into the small stream.

  A small crack that opened just above the water stream made the source of the stream clear to me. But the mystery is yet to be solved: how did the water rise, get filtered and purified, to become drinking water? I did not have time to ponder—because now, when I got closer to the water source, the vibe in me grew wild, demanding me to take off my clothes and dip in the little pool. Without questioning the meaning of this, I complied with my body’s command, took off my ragged clothes and climbed into the basin.

  Naked as the day I was born, I laid back, merging with the water, allowing it to engulf my body and my head, caressing each pore in my skin. I first felt my hair absorbing most of the water and sinking, thereafter losing its weight and floating, hovering around my head like a halo. The water also covered my eyes making my eyelids shut, only my nose and mouth stayed afloat so I could breathe.

  The last sound I heard was the vacuum sound of my ears being clogged by water. Silence and darkness now covered me completely. I was sucked into an endless empty void.

  A little dot appeared and started sucking the entire space into it, powerfully absorbing the nothing. The more and more vacuum it sucked, the larger the dot grew, and now I could see that it was a black hole that swallowed it all. When there was nothing more to suck, the hole was sealed and became a giant breathing ball that swelled up—until it blew! Everything that was earlier an enormous empty void was now filled with billions of stars.

  I was overwhelmed. I had just witnessed the “Big Bang” and the formation of the universe! Right before my eyes a spectacular vision of the entire universe had formed, filled with countless galaxies, solar systems, and shiny stars. The universe was sailing towards me and I could see how stars gathered together to form the Milky Way, how our solar system was formed and how life was beginning on Earth.

  I could see continents being formed, how single cell organisms turn into living animals, coming out of the water and filling the air and land. I could see species being created and then extinct, growing into gigantic proportions only to starve to death while other little hairy creatures took their place.

  Intelligent beings stood erect on their hind legs foretelling the arrival of the prehistoric man. Excited, I watched the early tribes chisel the ancient knowledge into our genetic code, the wisdom of life, our survival instinct and the will to live. I saw how they evolve and perfect, creating clothes and tools, drawing on walls, telling their story without letters.

  I followed the development of language and communication as well as rituals and mating habits. I could see how the wise women navigate the tribe, teaching the young women sexual secrets and the art of keeping the peace within the tribe.

  Each woman could mate with a number of men, and to that end, they were guided and obligated. These were small tribes of thirty to forty souls at the most, just like our little group and that is why it was important to keep the entire tribe fulfilled. These tribes preceded the age of the strong ruling male, that was awarded most of the females and led the tribe. This was the time of the wise, healing, see-all women. In silence I watched them carry all the important information, passing on the wisdom of mating and the c
ustoms of women from generation to generation, from a wise woman to her daughter and so on.

  I took in the knowledge passed on to me in my vision with much exuberance, until the vibe stopped. I received the answers I was looking for. The ancient vision started pulling away from me, sucked away into the distance, and I flew high above the world, seeing all of history passing before me in the speed of light till this day and age, when the old world was submerged in water, exactly like it was millions of years ago when it was first formed.

  The sights grew blurry the more the vision pulled away, but I could swear I could see under the surface of the water, puzzling drawings that covered the planet–drawings that reminded me of navigation maps with arrows and lines connecting continents and islands. I was curious, I wanted to see more and understand the meaning of all this, but the vision kept going farther and I was struggling to see.

  The darkness of the cave returned to engulf me. The last thing I saw was a pair of piercing blue eyes that watched me all the time—the same eyes that were watching me since we arrived on the island, the same eyes that awakened the vibe in me each time they looked at me…

  * * *

  Chapter 11

  I sat up abruptly, breathing heavily and dripping water, naked as the day I was born and looking straight into Jack’s piercing blue eyes.

  ~*~*~

  Jack was—how should I say this? The quiet lethal type… Someone that you know for certain that it’s in your best interest to stay clear of, as no good would come out of interacting with him, but against all logical reason you find yourself attracted to him anyway, like a magnet, like a moth to a flame, and very soon you find out that indeed, it would have been better if you did not fall for his charms.