“Mum stayed home with me. I mean, she was running this place, but she was always at home.” She pulled away, looking up at me.
“If you want to do that, it’s fine. I want to look after you for a while. But, we’ll have to see what kind of place we can find first.”
She nodded, chewing on her lower lip. “We could just stay here.”
“I think your mother is going to kick us out if we don’t leave. She knows you have to do something for yourself. Let’s wait until after the wedding. At least there’s no rush.”
Satisfied, she nestled in close and I closed my eyes, ready for sleep. There was nothing but good dreams now. Maddy and the baby took care of that.
Sometime in the night, I heard the violin and smiled, even though the bed was cold. Maddy played a lullaby for our unborn child.
I sighed, drawing the blanket closer and drifted back to sleep.
“What are we going to do for the wedding?” she asked the next day.
I shrugged. I’d already been through one big dressy wedding, and had no interest in another one. But, if it was what Maddy wanted …
“I thought we could just do the registry office. I mean, it’s not like there will be heaps of people coming, and we can just have a small ceremony even with just our parents,” she said.
She jumped as I laughed loudly. “I hadn’t given it that much thought, Maddy, but I’m happy with whatever you want to do. Sounds perfect.”
“What’s so funny?” Maddy moved closer, and I pulled her onto my lap.
“What you want sounds great. Nice and quiet, and then I’ll drag you off to some motel to have my wicked way with you.” I stroked her thigh as I spoke, happy she’d decided that by herself.
She grinned, leaning over for a kiss. “Love it. Let’s do it.”
“Here, or near Mum and Dad?”
Maddy’s eyes widened. Clearly the choice of venues hadn’t even crossed her mind.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Baby, I don’t care. It’s your special day, Maddy. I’ll go wherever you want me to, do whatever you want me to. I’m happy if you’re happy.”
“If we get married near your parents, we can go and visit Charlie, run the whole thing past her,” she said. She stood, moving to the couch, her feet on the coffee table. I would have been told off for that, but apparently it was okay if Maddy did it.
I gulped. The thought of that scared the crap out of me. Maddy was only thinking of me, but my heart beat faster thinking of Charlie’s grave.
“Andrew?” She looked up from her magazine, her eyes full of worry.
I licked my lips, trying to find moisture to speak. “I love it. That’s such a sweet idea.”
“If we want to say goodbye to the past, we have to do it properly,” she said. “Besides, I like the idea of making sure she knows you’re okay.”
I couldn’t say anything, and moved to the couch, pulling her into my arms to thank her for being so sweet.
She really loved me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I’d vowed to visit Charlie’s grave as often as I could, but had been too scared to do so until now. Despite my life taking a new direction, I still missed her so much. I missed the way she smelled, that clean soapy scent because she couldn’t wear perfume with her allergies. That deep, throaty laugh of hers. I’d muffle it with a kiss, and it would seem to hang in her chest, reverberating and making it even sexier.
And those big blue eyes of hers, the ones that would be so full of love and adoration. For so long after her death, I would have given anything to see those eyes again.
I crouched in front of the gravestone with the biggest bouquet of red roses I could afford. We’d never had flowers around the house ‘just in case’ but now, I gave Charlie as many as I could. It was the least I could do.
Running my fingers over her name, my chest tightened as the tears began to roll. She was buried as I wanted her to be, with my surname, Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Carmichael.
“God, I love you so much, Charlie. Miss you every day, babe,” I whispered.
A hand rested on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Maddy.
“I know you told me I should stay in the car, but I had to be here. I have to tell her that I’m taking care of you now,” she said, tears forming in her eyes.
“Thanks,” I whispered, turning my head to kiss her hand.
“Charlie, this is Maddy. We’re getting married, and having a baby. I wanted to tell you for myself,” I said.
Maddy squeezed my shoulder. “I promise I’ll take good care of him for you,” she said. “I’ll make sure he gets popcorn when he watches movies, and that he always wears clean socks, because you know he’s terrible at changing them. I’ll love him forever, Charlie. I’ll make sure he’s never without love again.”
I couldn’t say anything else, so overwhelmed with love for Maddy and Charlie in that moment. Standing, I took Maddy in my arms, hugging her tightly, and burying my nose in her neck.
“We’ll come here and visit,” Maddy said. “Either both of us, or you, or even just me. We’ll make sure she has flowers, and I’ll tell her everything you’ve been doing, even when I’m grumpy with you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I whispered.
“I know I don’t. But, you loved her, and no one can replace her. Not even me. I’m just slotting in beside her, and I’m okay with that. I’m pretty sure we can share.”
I grinned, lifting my head, and kissing her tenderly on the lips. “I love you so much, Maddy.”
“Love you too. Can we go and get married now?” She looked down at the gravestone. “No offence, Charlie.”
My heart soared as we walked back to the car. The dark clouds that had descended on Charlie’s death gave way to a clear sky, and the light that came from Maddy produced the smallest of rainbows. That described Maddy to a tee. She was my rainbow.
~
We drove past the church where Charlie and I were married, and I blew a kiss to the old place. Charlie had been so happy that day, and I had loved her, yet found so much distraction in Rowan’s life.
Now, I was completely focused on my new life with Maddy—nothing from either of our pasts was going to hold us back.
We arrived at the entrance to the registrar’s office, and I paused to look at Maddy.
“We’re here.” I said, adjusting my tie. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”
Maddy pulled me over to kiss me, and I laughed against her lips. “That happens later, beautiful,” I mumbled.
Hand in hand, we went into the offices, my parents and her mother right behind us. And as they watched, we swore our vows to always love one another and be together forever.
I meant every word.
Afterwards, we sat in my parents’ living room where we snuggled together and I rubbed her growing belly. This was all crazy stuff, and happening so fast, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing, in all the world. It had been so long since I’d felt this happy, and I revelled in the excitement.
Maddy glowed, radiating her exuberance, and I knew she’d be a little devil in bed tonight. She was in just that mood, and I couldn’t wait to get my wife alone. Once we’d had dinner with our parents, we’d be off to the little motel down the road, to the room we’d booked to spend our wedding night in.
It wasn’t anything flashy, but it was ours.
~
And then we got the most amazing wedding present we could have ever asked for, but it hurt more than I could ever tell Maddy to receive it.
Charlie’s parents were unexpected visitors on our last day with Mum and Dad. They had kept in touch with me, but we hadn’t seen each other since I got out. Our relationship was understandably strained—they loved Rowan as much as anyone, but they loved me too, and had supported me through the devastation of Charlie’s death.
This day, though, something was different; that much was obvious from their warm reception of Maddy.
“Maddy, this is Mr and Mrs Mille
r, Charlie’s mum and dad.”
Maddy smiled. She squeezed my hand, her chest rising and falling faster than it usually did.
I squeezed back to reassure her.
Charlie’s mother hugged Maddy, while Charlie’s father shook my hand, and wished me all the best for our marriage.
We sat in the lounge, Mum and Dad making themselves scarce to give us some time together. These people were my family too.
“I’m sorry we didn’t invite you to the ceremony,” I said. “We just kept it to Mum, Dad, and Maddy’s mother. We wanted to keep it low key. Especially after …”
Tears welled up in Charlie’s mother’s eyes, and I reached for her hand, squeezing it. “I still miss her every day. Maddy knows that, and she loves me anyway.”
Charlie’s mother nodded, a small smile appearing on her lips, reassured by my words. Despite my new marriage, I hadn’t forgotten her daughter.
“To cut to the chase, Andrew, we have something for you.” Charlie’s father smiled at Maddy and I, and she touched my arm, leaning close.
“When Charlie died, we received a pay-out from the endowment policy we bought for her when she was younger. We did it for all the girls, so that they would have a retirement fund. It doubled as a life insurance policy, so on her death they paid us the sum insured.”
I nodded. No money would ever be enough to replace Charlie, but I was glad for them; it would help them in their retirement.
A glance between them told me something more was in the wind. Maddy’s grip tightened on my arm, and I knew she was just as curious.
“I don’t really know how to say this, Andrew, but you know we consider you a son. Things went horribly wrong, but we all know Charlie was prone to asthma, and you did your best to save her and get her to the hospital in time. We can’t fault you for that. I know what her death did to you.”
“Thank you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have let you down,” I said. I’d said it a million times before, and every time I meant it. To my parents, and to Charlie’s.
“Truth is, she was with the man she loved when she died. I couldn’t ask for more than that. She was loved, and now you’re out of that crazy hell you went through and have found some happiness, so we’d like to help you move forward.”
I fought back the tears that were threatening, Maddy rested her head on my shoulder.
“We want to give you the insurance money. You were legally Charlie’s next of kin, and if we’d transferred the policy when she turned twenty-one as we originally planned, it would have gone to you. Charlie was never very good with paperwork.”
I laughed. That much was true. She was smart, and would guide me and tell me what I should do, but it was always me who ended up dealing with everything once we got together. I applied for our marriage licence, I signed our apartment lease, and I handled our finances when we merged them.
Mr Miller handed me an envelope. “It’s enough to help you with a deposit on a house maybe, or a really good car. You’ll need one of those, with the baby on the way.”
I tucked it in my pocket, taking his hand to shake. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Don’t you want to know how much it is?”
“That’s not important. It just means so much that you still think of me in this way after everything that happened.”
He had more compassion in his eyes than I had ever seen. “I lost my baby girl that day. I understand you more than you would know. I’m not surprised it made you crazy. Now you have Maddy and the baby to ground you. You’re a good man, Andrew. From what I’ve seen, all of this has knocked that arrogance out of you. You always did have a chip on your shoulder.”
“He still does,” Maddy said, looking up and poking her tongue out at me before resting her head on my shoulder again.
Mr Miller laughed. “Well, he’s your problem now. But, please keep in touch, let us know how you’re getting on and if there’s anything we can ever do.”
“You’ve already done so much,” she said. I turned my head, kissing the top of hers. Whatever the amount of money, it would help us without a doubt.
Her eyes widened as she opened the envelope. She’d torn it from my pocket the second they were gone, then pulled out the cheque before bursting into tears.
“Maddy?”
“It’s fifty thousand dollars. Andrew. This is amazing.”
I buried my face in her hair as she sobbed. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“What for? You’re excited. This gets us off to a good start.”
She looked up at me, frowning. “It’s where it came from.”
“Now you know why I didn’t want to open it in front of them. As much as I love having their support, I don’t know if I can take it.”
Maddy hugged me until I could no longer breathe. “What are you doing?” I asked
“If you want to give it back, or give it away, I won’t be upset. You have to do what feels right.”
I pulled at her hands until she released me. “They gave it to us because of the baby. Let’s just make sure that we give our baby the best start that we can. With the money Mum and Dad are giving us, we can look at a bigger place.”
“For the baby,” she whispered.
“And for my wife.” I pushed a stray lock back from her face, smiling at her.
She took my hand, moving it down to her stomach, the small bump that was our child warming my heart.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Almost as soon as we were back, Carly pressed us to set a date for moving out. It was time for Maddy and I to find a place of our own.
“But this is home,” Maddy said, pouting.
“And it’s time to start your new life with your husband,” Carly said.
With the money Charlie’s parents had given us, and more from Mum and Dad, we had enough to buy a small house. At least we could still stay where we were until we found a place. Carly wasn’t quite kicking us out.
I was at work when Maddy called me. At first I couldn’t understand what she was saying, she was sobbing so hard, and my first thought was the baby.
“Maddy? Calm down. Tell me what’s going on. Are you okay?”
A mess of words came down the line, and I knew I had to be with her.
“Maddy. Are you at work?”
I heard a yes come through the sobbing, and I ran down the corridor to Damon’s office. “I need to go and get Maddy, something’s happened.”
He looked up. “I hope everything’s okay.”
“I don’t know. Whatever has happened, Maddy’s inconsolable. All I could get out of her was that she was at work.”
He grimaced. “That doesn’t sound good. Get going.”
I nodded, turning towards the door and sprinting out to the car.
I think I caught every red light between my work and Maddy’s. When I got to the store, one of the staff took me to the staff room. She sat in the corner, crying quietly, her head buried in her hands.. One of her co-workers sitting nearby watched as I walked in and went straight to her.
“Maddy?” I whispered, kneeling on the floor in front of her.
She looked up at me, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Mum’s in hospital. We need to go. I didn’t trust myself to drive like this” she whispered. I hugged her tight.
“Let’s go, sweetheart. You can tell me about it in the car,” I said.
Maddy clung to my arm the whole way back to the car, unusually quiet. I opened her car door, making sure she was okay before we set off, getting to the hospital as fast as I could without breaking the law.
“Do you know what happened?” I asked. Her knuckles were white from gripping her bag.
“The nurse that called me said she’d had a heart attack. I kept telling her to stop smoking. I knew something like this would happen.”
Her breathing was stressed, and I reached for her hand, holding it under mine on the gear lever. The last thing we needed was her stressing over her mother. I glanced at her, and she smiled
, and her chest slowed as it rose and fell, presumably reassured by my action.
“They said she was in intensive care,” Maddy whispered, as we stood in front of the directory sign at the hospital entrance.
“That’s this way, then,” I said, squeezing her hand. I didn’t know who to be more worried about—Carly or Maddy. If Maddy was getting this wound up, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going on inside her. It couldn’t be good for her or the baby.
Carly lay still, her skin an awful ashen shade I’d never seen on anyone. It was the colour of death, and Maddy let out a sob as she looked at her. There were tubes everywhere, and an oxygen mask over her nose.
“The first forty-eight hours are the most important. If nothing more happens in that time, she stands a better chance of survival. It was a massive heart attack. We’ll continue to monitor her, and keep her on oxygen.” The doctor spoke softly, reassuringly, and although the news wasn’t good, Maddy looked as if the huge weight on her shoulders had been lifted.
I was still worried, though. It was a lot to deal with. Maddy was so close to Carly and if anything happened, I hated to think how she would react.
We could go in to see Carly one at a time, and Maddy obviously went first. She was led to the bedside, and she took her mother’s hand, pressing it to her lips. My heart felt like it was breaking into tiny pieces watching them.
I called Damon and told him what had happened.
“Take the time you need,” he said, and once again I was so grateful to him. I owed him so much.
For the first time in so long, I sat and prayed for something, anything to happen to get Carly through this. After a while I heard a sound and looked up to see a familiar face.
“Andrew?” he asked.
I stood, nodding. “You’re Logan, right?”
“That’s right. Sorry for intruding. Bob sent me a text and I just had to come. Is Maddy okay?”
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