Help Me, Hold Me: Full Heart Ranch Series #5

by Barbara Gee

  “I thought about it,” she said, sounding sad, “but wouldn't it be selfish to do that, knowing he’ll be uncomfortable, just so I can leave for a few mornings?”

  “It’s not like you’re going to a spa or something. You’re helping at the retreat center, and that’s kind of important.”

  She considered that for a while. “I guess I can at least ask him how he’d feel about it. I did finally tell him last week that I had the agency lined up. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t adamantly oppose it.”

  “It’s going to happen at some point. I’m sure he realizes that.”

  “Yeah. He’s not far from needing someone to help him bathe and get dressed, and I’m sure he doesn’t want me to do it.”

  “I think it might be good for both of you if you get a little time away. You have to be going a little stir-crazy.”

  She smiled. “It would be a lot worse if I didn’t have your visits to look forward to.”

  “Glad I’m serving a purpose,” he said, twining his fingers through hers.

  “Trust me, you’re the bright spot of my days,” she said quietly.

  He looked over and saw the pain etched on her face. It made him hurt way down deep and he pressed the back of her hand to his cheek.

  “How can I help?” he asked. “I’ll do anything I can to make this easier for you.”

  She kept her head on his shoulder but tilted her face up to look at him. “You help just by coming here every day. It helps Grandpa, too, not just me. He usually perks up when you’re around.” Her lips curved into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I guess you’re the bright spot in his days, too.”

  He shook his head. “Nah, that’s you, Callie. You’ll always be the bright spot for him.”

  She moved her head again and stared straight ahead for a while, lost in thought. Finally, she rolled her shoulders and forced a smile.

  “At least he’s still sleeping better. The sleep medication has been a godsend. Plus, the doctor upped the dose on his pain meds, and I think that’s made his days more tolerable. It makes him a little woozy, but I can tell he’s more comfortable. He naps better, too.”

  Vince worded his question carefully. “Does he still seem to be stressing about something?” He’d talked to Jeremiah alone several times over the last few evenings, but the older man hadn’t brought up his “decision” again.

  “I can’t tell. He doesn’t talk much except for when you come over, so you probably know as much as I do.”

  He tucked her closer. “I hate that you’re hurting.”

  “I’ll be okay.” She pressed her face into his shirt. “You’re so sweet to us. And you never complain about having to come here instead of going out on the town. Do you know how much I appreciate that?”

  “It would be pretty selfish of me to complain,” he said, hoping she wasn’t worried about him getting tired of the situation as it was. “Besides, I like visiting with Jeremiah. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to get to know him rather than just hearing you describe what a great man he was in the past tense. I don’t think you could have done him justice.”

  She chuckled at that. “I’m glad too, but I’m seriously dreading the next stage. It won’t be long before he can’t get around by himself at all. He’s going to hate that.”

  They sat in silence for a while, with Vince gently pushing the swing. “I’m guessing you won’t be at church tomorrow?”

  “No.” She scooted a little closer and he put his arm around her, resting his cheek on her head.

  “I can come hang out with you instead of going.”

  She shook her head. “That’s okay. Go to church and then come over later and tell me about the sermon. I miss hearing Pastor Keller every Sunday.”

  “How about I bring lunch from the diner? Give you a day off from cooking.”

  “Don’t you have a standing invitation at the Desmonds for Sunday lunch?”

  “I’d rather be here. I’ll sit with Jeremiah and you can go for a run, or into town or something.”

  “Hmm. I could definitely use a good shopping run. Maybe I could go to Carlton and stock up on some things the Barlow stores don’t carry.”

  “Okay, cool. I’ll head over as soon as church ends.” Vince was glad to offer her some time away, and the fact that she’d jumped at the chance reinforced his notion that she was going a little stir-crazy.

  She looked up at him solemnly and he bent his head to rub his nose against hers. “Anything else I can do to help?”

  She shook her head and gave him a soft smile. “No. I’m just having a little trouble believing my life right now. I’m watching my grandfather die, and it’s devastating. I’m also sitting here with you, which is pretty much the opposite of devastating. I feel guilty for being happy at the saddest time of my life. Does that even make sense?”

  “Perfect sense, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s okay to be happy about one thing while sad about another. And don’t forget, Jeremiah himself tried his best to make sure we got together.”

  “Because he could tell you make me happy.”

  “That’s the goal, Callie. Always.” He leaned down and brushed his lips softly across hers. “I know we have a ton of stuff to work out as time goes on, but I think it’s okay for us to focus on just being together right now. You have enough going on in that pretty head of yours. I want to bring you some relief from that, not be another complication.”

  “But we don’t have much time,” she said softly. “You’ll be gone in less than two months. We need to figure some things out before then.”

  “We’ll figure them out enough,” Vince replied, knowing things would reach a whole new level of complicated when he left. He also knew he couldn’t expect Callie to make any long-term decisions until they experienced a hockey season as a couple. His hope was that she could spend some time in Minneapolis, maybe staying with Boone and Jolene during the weeks when they had a stretch of home games. He wanted her at the stadium, meeting his teammates, experiencing what it was like to be in a relationship with a man who was at the beck and call of his team for most of the year.

  It worked for some, like Boone and Jax and their wives. It tore others apart. The fact that the girl he wanted to be with owned and loved a ranch in North Dakota would make things even harder.

  He still had to try. Callie was it for him, he already believed that.

  “I’ll talk to Jeremiah about hospice while you’re in town tomorrow, if you want,” he offered. “I can tell him you have some obligations at the retreat center you’d like to keep if possible, and it might be time to stop putting off the inevitable. Once he gets that first visit over with, you’ll both be better off.”

  She thought about that, then nodded. “If the opportunity arises, I’d love that. It’s hard for me to push him on it.”

  “I’ll be here by noon.”

  She turned toward him and slid her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest. “That promise will get me through the night.”

  “Me too.”

  “On second thought, don’t bring lunch. I’ll pick something up in Carlton and bring it back, if you don’t mind eating a little later. That’ll make it easier for you, because the diner is crazy on Sunday after church.”

  “Whatever you say. Just let me know if you change your mind.” He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up. “Now it’s time for you to tell me why you’re still keeping us a secret from your girlfriends.”

  Her eyes clouded. “It’s hasn’t been intentional. I’ve been trying to get them all here for lunch so I could talk to them in person. We were going to do it yesterday, but then Kim had to cover an out of town audit for a co-worker at the accounting firm where she works, so we canceled. I guess I’ll just have to call them all and tell them individually.”

  “They’re going to find out from someone else if you don’t do it soon. Boone and Jolene know, and Tanner and Izzy. And I’m sure they’ve told others. Rose and Brit a
re bound to hear it since they’re at the Full Heart almost every day.”

  “You’re right, as usual. I’ll tell them tomorrow.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Vince pressed a kiss to the top of her head, loving the feel of her against him. Right where she belonged.

  CHAPTER 20

  Vince got to her place a little before noon the next day, and after giving him a quick and grateful hug, Callie drove off to get her errands done. She felt fine about leaving the two men on their own. Jeremiah had slept through the night again, praise the Lord, and had woken up in a fairly good mood. He was sitting out on the front porch when Vince drove up, and Vince had joined him there after seeing Callie off.

  Callie was glad to know Jeremiah would get a little fresh air. She was also glad to not feel rushed with her shopping. She was headed to the next town over, which boasted a super store where she could take care of everything on her list all at once—groceries, batteries, light bulbs, shampoo, a new kitchen rug, toner cartridges and paper for her printer, and whatever else she saw that she needed.

  She’d pick up lunch in the deli before heading home. Maybe, if Jeremiah was still feeling good after they ate, they could take him for a ride in the Gator afterward. Give him a chance to check out the cattle and the horses for the first time in a week.

  As she drove, Callie felt a new appreciation for Vince. His willingness to stay with her grandpa was unbelievably sweet. It still just floored her when she thought about how much her life had changed in the past eleven days. Who would have ever thought in a bazillion years that the man she’d spent so many hours cheering for over the past two years would be sitting on her front porch with Jeremiah while she went shopping?

  He was an incredible man, a blessing straight from God to both her and Jeremiah, and she didn’t ever want him to feel like she took him for granted.

  Her phone rang when she was a few minutes away from the store. Brittany’s number showed up, and Callie immediately answered the call. She’d promised Vince she’d talk to her friends, and there was no time like the present.

  “Hey, girl,” Brit said cheerfully. “We missed you at church. I actually got there on time for once so I could sit with you, but you were a no-show.”

  “Yeah, last week was a one-off, I’m afraid. I really can’t leave Grandpa alone for that long anymore.”

  “I figured that was the reason. You want me to come hang out this afternoon? You’ve been cooped up all week and I haven’t stopped by to cheer you up. I’ve been a terrible friend.”

  Callie chuckled. “You’re a great friend. It’s Kim who’s the bad one, for canceling our lunch plans on Friday.”

  “That’s true! We need to make sure she knows that. But seriously, you must be going crazy. Not that Jeremiah isn’t good company, but you need to stay in touch with the outside world, too. I can be there in about an hour.”

  “No need, Brit,” Callie said quickly. “I’m actually on my way to Carlton right now to do some shopping. My cupboards are bare, so to speak, and I’m finally getting a chance to restock.”

  “Oh, well that’s good, but you just told me Jeremiah couldn’t be by himself anymore. Surely he’s not with you?”

  Callie bit her lip and screwed up the courage to break the news. “Um, no, he’s at home, and he’s not alone.”

  Before she could say more, Brit squealed. “Did he finally agree to hospice care? That’s awesome. That means you’ll be able to come to the Full Heart this week as planned, right?”

  “Well, kind of. I mean, I’m hoping to be at the Full Heart, but I still need to have the hospice talk with Grandpa. That’s not who’s with him right now.”

  “Oh, wow, so who passed the Jeremiah test?” Brit asked curiously.

  Callie cleared her throat, knowing she was about to break what Brit would consider the news of the century. “It’s Vince Abbot, actually,” she admitted, holding the phone away from her ear in case her friend squealed again.

  Instead she was met with a few beats of dead silence. “Vince Abbot?” she finally asked, disbelief in her voice. “Dang, how did that happen?”

  Callie opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off by a loud gasp.

  “Omigosh, I just realized what a stupid question that was! Callie Grace Green! You’ve got something going with Vince Abbot!”

  “Um, yeah, I guess you could say that,” Callie admitted, wishing they were talking face-to-face.

  Now the squeal sounded loud and long. “No wonder he’s been acting so strange when I practically beg him to get coffee with me. And no, I don’t feel guilty, because you’ve been holding out on us! Now who’s the bad friend? Omigosh, wait till I tell the others. Rose is going to freak because we’ve been basically stalking him at the Full Heart every day.”

  Callie was glad Brit didn’t feel bad about that, and she was also glad she didn’t seem too upset about losing the man she’d made it clear she was interested in.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Brit. That was actually the purpose of lunch on Friday, because I wanted to tell you guys in person.”

  “Ah, well then maybe I’ll forgive you. I’m gonna need details, though, so spill. Tell me what’s going on or I’ll go over to the Double Nickel right now and ask Vince himself.”

  “Oh man, I don’t even know where to start. It’s been so crazy.” Callie knew that sounded like she was stalling, but she honestly didn’t know how to put everything that had happened with Vince into words.

  “Just start talking, girlfriend. You’ve got some making up to do.”

  “Brit, I honestly didn’t mean to be holding out on you, it’s just that things happened really fast. To tell you the truth, I’m still having trouble believing it. Every day, I wake up thinking it’s all been a really great dream, you know? Like it couldn’t possibly be true. But then, every day, he comes back. Like I said, it’s crazy.”

  “When did it start? Pizza night?”

  “He asked for my number that first morning we met at the Full Heart—when we were eating breakfast. Then he brought that pizza, and on his way back out to his car, he ran into Grandpa on the porch. Grandpa invited him over the next day to see the horses, then told him I’d teach him to ride. Without asking me first, of course.”

  “Wait, was Jeremiah playing match-maker, or just taking pity on the city guy?”

  “Match-maker, if you can believe it.”

  “Oh my word, I never thought I’d see the day. He’s hated every guy who’s ever stepped foot on the ranch to see you.”

  “I know. I was shocked, but also kind of sad, because I think it started mostly because he knows he won’t be around for much longer, so he suddenly decided I needed a man.”

  “Well at least he picked a good one,” Brittany said. “Seriously, Callie, everyone at the retreat center is so impressed with Vince. He’s another Boone, you know? Such a good guy. I’m not gonna lie, I’m insanely jealous, but also excited for you. How often do you guys see each other?”

  Callie pulled into the parking lot at the store and found a spot, but she stayed in the car to finish the conversation. “I rode with him last Saturday morning for the first time, then he stayed for breakfast. We rode again Sunday evening, then I didn’t see him for a couple of days. I was freaked out by how much I liked him, and I thought it would be good to get some separation. Then he came over and we talked about a lot of stuff, and I decided to stop fighting my feelings and see where things go. He’s been over every evening since.”

  “So, like, is it official, or are you just tiptoeing around it at this point?”

  “Um, we’ve actually talked about that,” Callie said, twisting a strand of hair nervously. “Like I said, it’s all happened really fast and we know we have a lot of things to figure out if we’re going to make this work. But at this point, we’re both committed to trying, so……yeah, it’s pretty official.”

  “Omigosh, I can’t even believe this,” Brittany exclaimed excitedly. “And don’t take that
the wrong way, because I can totally see why he’s into you. I totally can. I’m just shocked because our cautious little Callie is jumping into a relationship with both feet, and with Vince Abbot no less.” She gave an ecstatic laugh. “I can’t wait to tell the girls. This is the most exciting thing in forever. Please tell me I can tell them. I don’t have to keep this a secret, do I?”

  “Sure, you can tell them,” Callie said, because giving Brit the satisfaction of breaking the news might help make up for the delay in telling her. “Make sure they know I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys sooner.”

  “I will, I promise. Now I need to let you get to your shopping.”

  Callie laughed. “You’re going to be dialing your phone the second we hang up.”

  “Well duh. I can’t wait to hear their reactions. They’re going to be shocked, but just as happy for you as I am. You’ve got a winner, girl.”

  “He’s pretty great,” Callie agreed, “and believe me, I know how lucky I am. I have to keep pinching myself.”

  “It’s not luck. You two deserve each other.” Brittany paused, and when she spoke again, her voice was way more quiet, and a little wistful. “I’m rooting for you, Callie, I really am. But he’s going to end up taking you away from Barlow, isn’t he?”

  Callie was still having trouble with that part—and would for a while. “That’s one of the things we’ll have to work through,” she said quietly. “There are so many unknowns, and part of me is still scared to death. Yet I feel like God’s telling me to trust that things will work out.”

  “You need to trust that voice, Callie.”

  “Yeah, I agree, but you know how important the Double Nickel is to me. I can’t imagine leaving.”

  Brittany’s voice grew stern. “Sweetheart, I do know how much you love that ranch, but don’t you dare choose it over Vince Abbot. Do you know how rare good men are?”