To Protect Her Son

by Stella MacLean

  “Did you have plans for this dress?” he asked as his fingers slid the zipper down her back, and his hands slipped under the hook of her bra.

  “Not really. I mean, I don’t think I’ll be wearing it to another wedding,” she said as the dress slithered down her body to pool at her feet. She clutched her bra to her skin, a pointless task given that it was unfastened, but her pride demanded some semblance of decorum.

  “Just as well,” he said, pulling her toward him as he sat down on the side of the king-size bed.

  She stepped out of her dress and kicked off her shoes. He took off his jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing both to the chair in the corner of the room. With infinite gentleness he lifted her lace bra away from her breasts, letting it slide to the floor to join the dress.

  Suddenly Gayle felt shy and ill at ease. She crossed her arms over her breasts.

  “Don’t. You’re beautiful,” he said as he leaned over, his fingers working her arms apart.

  She swallowed. “There’s something I need to explain to you. I mean, about me, about my...sexual experience.”

  “Whatever you need to tell me, I’m listening,” he said, his voice caressing her anxiety. He took both her hands in his large ones, his fingers massaging hers in a way that made her want to fall into his arms.

  “Harry was the first man I ever had sex with. The first time it hurt, and I was so embarrassed when he seemed so pleased with what he’d done. I hated it, but he told me it would get better.” She bowed her head in shame. “It never did. Harry was rough and uncaring, and he never allowed me to be involved in our lovemaking, if you could call it that.”

  He eased her down on the bed beside him. “It will never be like that between you and me. I will make love to you, and I want you to make love to me whenever you’re ready.”

  “But what I’m telling you is that I have no experience. I don’t know what to do to please you...”

  “We’re here together... We love each other. There is no reason for you to feel you have to please me. Pleasing each other will come naturally. Will you trust me on that?”

  She nodded.

  He pulled back the bedding, displaying beautiful crisp cream sheets. “While you get comfortable on the bed, I’m going to take my pants off,” he said, reaching for his zipper. “We have all the time in the world.”

  His eyes met hers across the wide bed, eyes filled with love and caring. She’d never felt like this before in her life, this feeling of wanting everything wonderful and good for a man. She’d never spent a night lying next to a man she loved, sated by lovemaking and safe in his arms.

  “Nate,” she said, climbing out of the bed and coming around to where he sat. “Let me do that for you.” She stood naked in front of him, ready to experience real love and to explore what arousal and climax could be like when two people loved each other.

  She leaned over, acutely aware that her breasts were inches from his mouth. Encouraged by his sudden intake of breath, she whispered, “I want to undress you.” She let her fingers slide over his zipper, easing it down, exposing his rock-hard penis straining against his undershorts. He leaned back, lifting his hips, his hands moving to help push his pants to the floor. He slid his underwear off and pulled her down on top of him.

  His hands sank into her hair, his mouth closed over hers, hot and demanding. She angled her body over his, feeling as if there was nothing that could stop the urgent grind of her pelvis against his.

  Seconds later he lifted her up and laid her back on the bed without his mouth leaving hers. He slid his hands between her legs, urging, cajoling her with his fingers. “I love you,” he said.

  * * *

  SHE REWARDED HIM with a smile, her eyes dark pools. She moved, slowly at first, against his fingers. Nate forced himself to be patient to allow her time to feel the experience of arousal.

  With a moan of pleasure, she raised her hips off the bed. “I...I’ve never... Please,” she whispered, her hand grasping his, pressing it against her flesh.

  “You’re sure?” he whispered back, his need shredding his resolve.

  She nodded, the movement of her hips and the ragged gasp of breath driving him crazy with need. With one aching groan, she pulled him to her.

  Unable to resist, Nate slid into her, breathing in her scent, his body driven by need so strong he couldn’t stop, couldn’t control himself. He felt her tighten around him, her whimpering pleas driving him harder and harder into her.

  She gripped his shoulders, her hips rising to meet his, her legs wrapping around him as a soft sound of pleasure escaped her lips. He clung to her, surrounded her with his body as it shuddered into final release. “I love you,” he whispered into her hair as he collapsed beside her.

  The room was silent except for his harsh breathing. Mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of her breasts, he raised himself up on one elbow and looked at her. “You are so beautiful,” he said, trailing one finger over her heated skin.

  He’d been with women before, and when the sex was over there’d always been this need to remove himself from the situation. To get his clothes on, a form of defense against any claim they might make over him. To allow him to regain control of the situation.

  But that urge wasn’t part of this moment with Gayle. He could stay here beside her, hold her and love her forever. She was his, and he was hers. The raw simplicity of the thought filled his heart and mind. His eyes moved over her, over her pink skin, her flushed face, her body warm and so close to his. He let his hands play over her tummy, unable to resist the urge to reach toward the V between her legs.

  She gasped. Her eyes opened, focusing immediately on him. The air between them was charged with an intimacy he’d never known before. He’d never felt this way, this total connection with another person. He felt as if he could tell her anything, be anything, and somehow she would understand. “Hi, there,” he said, feeling young again, about to embark on a new and exciting time in his life.

  “Hi.” She stroked his neck, her touch a caress that made him remain perfectly still so as not to interrupt the moment.

  Their eyes met. Her fingers stilled. There was nothing between them but their need for each other.

  “I didn’t know love could feel like this,” she whispered.

  “Gayle, I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you,” he confessed.

  Her eyes sought his, her smile gentle and loving.

  “I thought I’d never say those words again. Until a few days ago I had no idea how powerful my need to avoid commitment was, how much of my life was driven by my need not to be hurt,” he said.

  “I won’t hurt you,” she said, her voice a soft murmur, her eyes holding his in solemn promise. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted, been the father my son never had and made me feel like the most precious woman in the world. I’ve waited a lifetime to feel this way.”

  He kissed her and she returned the kiss, placing her hand behind his head and pulling him down to her. He wrapped his arms around her, his leg moving across her body, delighting in every moment.

  She edged away from him, drawing in a deep breath as she did so. “Nate, I love you.”

  “I know that.” He nuzzled her chin, licked the edge of her mouth, thrilled by shudder of her body against his.

  She eased away from him, and sat up, bracing herself against the headboard. “I love you, but I... There are things in my life I want to settle before we go any further.”

  He couldn’t take his eyes off the lean form of her body, the way her breasts with their aching buds beckoned him. But the woman he loved was looking at him with a very serious expression, and whether he liked it or not, there would be no more lovemaking until she told him what was on her mind. He sighed. “I’m listening,” he said, moving to sit beside her and lean against the head of the bed.


  Without looking at him, she took his hand, playing with his fingers as she began. “There are things you don’t know about me. About my life in Anaheim.”

  “I don’t want to know. Your life is here with me, with my family and all the people in Eden Harbor who love you.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Eden Harbor has been my happy haven. When I arrived here I was anxious and uncertain whether I’d remain here in Aunt Susan’s house or sell it and go somewhere else. Then people took me into their lives, treated me with respect. I returned that kindness by lying to them about my past.”

  “You wanted to protect Adam. I understand, and so will everyone who cares about you.”

  “I wanted to forget what my life was like back then. What it had done to me, to my self-confidence and my view of the world. I truly believed that. You see, I had no hope of ever having the life I have now. No hope at all. No dreams. Nothing but my son.”

  “And now you have everything you ever wanted, is that it?”

  She studied him carefully, her eyes searching his. “Yes. I have everything I ever wanted. But back in Anaheim there’s a man who was forced to start his life over, a life he never planned on. I can’t start my new life here, make plans with you and be so happy, without telling him how sorry I am.”

  He put his arm around her shoulders. “I remember those feelings. The fear that you may have to face life from a wheelchair or worse is terrifying. So many emotions rip through you, taking your self-confidence. You can’t seem to get a handle on them, and all the while you’re left to wait and see if the surgery is successful, if the therapy will work.”

  She snuggled close to him, her body melting into his. “To find the will to put your life back together. Officer Perry had all that to do, just like you. I can’t stop thinking about him, about what his life must be like now.”

  He held her tight, willing her to feel differently. “You were a teenager. Harry was an adult, and he’s the one who made the decision to carry a weapon into that convenience store. Not you.”

  “But I never once in all the time I lived in Anaheim went to see that officer and his family. To say how sorry I was, to offer anything.”

  “He probably wouldn’t have wanted you there. And he may not now. Remember, Harry went to visit the man and got a cool reception. If you make this trip alone to talk to the police officer, you may be setting yourself up for a lot of emotional pain. Many people find it hard to forgive, regardless of the circumstances.”

  She turned her face up to his. “But if I’m going to have a new life, I have to clear my conscience. I have to see this man and apologize to him and his family. He deserves at least that.”

  “And what if he doesn’t want to talk to you? What if you get there and he orders you out of his house? What then?”

  Her eyes moved over his face, her love for him shining, her whole being open to him. “Then I will have done what I could to make amends. It may be too little and way too late, but at least I will have tried.”

  He loved this woman for a different reason every time he was around her. This kind of love was so different from any he’d ever known before. The love they shared had many facets and infinite possibilities. The kind of love where they protected each other, stood up for each other and with each other. The kind of love he’d been searching for all his life. “I’ll go with you.”

  Her body stilled. “I love you for offering to go with me, but I have to do this alone. I have to close this part of my life so that I can move on.” She smiled, and there was a shimmer of tears in her eyes. “Nate, I want a life with you, but there is no way I can move forward until I go back and face the past.”

  “I understand.” He kissed her, drawing in her scent, and knew what it meant to love someone without condition. “You do what you need to do. Adam and I will be waiting when you get back.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  THE NEXT MORNING, they were sitting in the dining room having breakfast, discussing the wedding, sharing a kiss as a reminder of the night before. She hadn’t slept much, all because they couldn’t stop touching, cuddling and making love. Gayle had never in her life imagined that she could be so happy.

  “You knew I’d spend the night with you,” she said, at once pleased and at the same time a little vulnerable that she was so transparent to him.

  He put his coffee cup down, his eyes searching her face. “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d refused me.” He gave her a quick kiss.

  “But since you’re about to be very much a part of the Garrison family, I feel it’s my duty to inform you that you can no longer hide out from my family,” he teased. “They want us to be happy. They don’t care what happened in your past, only that you want to be part of their future. So you’re stuck with us.”

  She couldn’t help but grin. He looked so happy. “Okay. I get it. This means family dinners, does it?” she asked lightly.

  “You got it.” He glanced around at all the other tables before leaning her way. “Anna always wanted a younger sister.”

  “And I’m it?”

  “Absolutely. So the sooner you get your trip to Anaheim over with, the better.”

  “I’m booking my flight as soon as I get back to the house. Due to the time difference, I can’t call Officer Perry’s house until noon.”

  “And what will you do if they refuse?”

  “I’ll have to accept it. But I have a feeling that his wife might want to talk to me even if her husband doesn’t. This couldn’t have been easy for her, and it certainly wasn’t easy for me. We have that much in common.”

  “I’ll support you whatever you decide to do. You know that, don’t you?” He kissed her lightly, tantalizing her with the look of intimacy in his eyes.

  “I need to talk to Adam about my going back to Anaheim. I can’t afford to take him with me, and there’s no reason for him to be involved.”

  “But he’ll want to know why you’re going.”

  “And I’ll tell him. I’ll tell him everything. I’ll answer any questions he has, no matter how painful. I’m done making up stories to cover my past.”

  They finished their brunch together, content in each other’s company. Gayle knew she had never been as happy as she was right now. And nothing could be allowed to take this chance for a lifetime of happiness away from her.

  When they left the inn in their separate cars, she went straight to Anna’s house to pick up Adam. She pulled in the driveway, and before she could get out of the car Adam was running down the walkway. She rolled down the window.

  Anna came along behind him. “Everything went well, I assume,” she said, arching her eyebrows at Gayle.

  “It went perfectly.”

  “And you’re going home to book a flight, I hear.”

  “Are there no secrets?”

  “Very few, I must confess. After all, he is my baby brother.” She leaned her head in the window. “Don’t tell him that, will you? He gets a little testy when I make it clear who’s actually in charge.”

  “My lips are sealed.”

  Anna looked closer. “And a little puffy, don’t you think?”

  Gayle touched her lips, another reminder of the night. “I’ll talk to you later,” she said, rolling her eyes toward Adam.

  “Listen, in case you older women don’t know this, I’m not completely dumb when it comes to kissing.

  “Adam!” Gayle said, winking at Anna. “Too much television and heaven knows what else.”

  “That’s kids for you,” Anna said. “Have a good day, and call me. We need to go out for coffee someday soon.”

  Gayle nodded as she put the car in Drive and started down the driveway.

  On the way home, she told Adam what she planned to do.

  “Mom, I want to come with you.”

  “Why?
”

  “Because you can’t go alone. It’s not safe. You need a man with you.”

  Gayle grinned to herself. Adam wanted to protect her. “That’s very considerate of you, but I imagine I can figure out a few flights all on my own.”

  “Then let me go on the internet for you and find the best one. There’s probably a ton of options to choose from.” He scrutinized her from the passenger seat. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? Nate told me how upset he was when he got shot. How he wanted to take his anger out on the people around him. What if that policeman gets really angry? What if he’s got big, burly brothers? What if...”

  “Adam. Stop it. Officer Perry was injured fourteen years ago. He’s well past the point of being angry by now. And I’m sure he’s had the best care possible.”

  “Then why are you going?” Adam asked, his gaze focused on her.

  “Because I want to be happy and proud of who I am. I wasn’t always like this. I want to apologize to Officer Perry for not doing everything I could to prevent this back then.”

  “Okay, Mom.” Adam tapped his fingers on the leg of his jeans, something he always did when he was wrestling with a problem or concentrating on something. “Where am I going to stay while you’re away?”

  She hadn’t thought of that. She’d contacted her boss at work and gotten the time off. How could she have forgotten to make arrangements for her son? “I’m sure you could stay with Nate or Anna.”

  “Anna said I could stay at her place any time I wanted and go to school with Jeremy.”

  “Is that okay with you?” she asked, feeling relieved that this situation could be resolved so easily. She wasn’t accustomed to friends doing things for her without being asked.

  “Yeah, it is.” Adam looked out the window as they pulled into the driveway. “Look. There’s a delivery notice stuck to the door.” He jumped out of the car and raced up the walkway.

  Curious, Gayle followed behind him. “What is it?”

  “It says that an attempt was made to deliver...” He turned the card over. “It’s Marsha’s Florist. Mom, someone tried to deliver flowers here.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Who do we know who would do such a thing?”