Changing Her Tune

by Brandy Walker

  The memories of her childhood and her father brought her up short. It was no wonder the cheetah had stayed in the background. She was grieving for both of them and then got pushed out of her mind. It still left her with the problem of trust.

  Coming to Shifter U and seeing others running and playing in shifter form intrigued Tess and her cheetah. They were free to do what they wanted.

  She eyed the ROAR message again. “Believe what it thinks. As if.” Okay, so she was a little aggravated by the answer. That had to explain what she did next.

  TESS: So if she says jump off a bridge, then do it?

  ROAR: If it means saving your life, yes.

  Of course they would say that.

  TESS: I’m to have blind faith in an animal I haven’t heard from in years?

  ROAR: Yes, but why wouldn’t you have heard from her?

  Her answer would take forever to type out in text and bore the poor shifter to death. She decided to go for simple.

  TESS: Let’s just say, I have issues stemming from my childhood.

  ROAR: And you felt abandoned?

  TESS: Yes. But she’s been pushing me telling me I’ve found my mate. I don’t know if I can trust her.

  ROAR: Ah, so that’s the real problem. All I can tell you is your beast knows when it’s found the One. It knows when it has found home.

  TESS: Are we talking about a person or a place? ’Cause I would love to know what home feels like.

  ROAR: You’ll have to figure that out. But you need to look inside you. Home can be many things, but in your case, it doesn’t take long to get to and everything you need is there. You’ll see. Good night.

  Tess dropped her phone on the nightstand. “Guess we’re done texting. I have no clue what he was talking about, though. Seriously! All I wanted to know was if home is a person or a place.”

  Restlessness settled in her bones. Tess bounced off her bed before pacing back and forth in her room, walking from the bed to her door and back. It didn’t make sense. She thought about the house her father lived in. Run-down and shabby. The stench of beer and cigarettes. Her bedroom had contained the basic necessities. Bed. Dresser. Nightstand. Clothes. No toys or cute little keepsakes. The night they left, all she was able to grab was her teddy bear as her father had carried her screaming from the house they’d shared with her mother. Her eyes drifted to the threadbare brown-and-white bear sitting in the corner of her bed. Warmth spread through her chest. Patches had gotten her through many desolate years.

  Her father’s house would never be her home. Nor was the one before it where they lived with her mother.

  Her old dorm room on campus was out of the equation, too. It was a place to sleep between classes and practice, nothing more. She hadn’t decorated and made it her own, too worried about people coming into the room while she was gone and taking her few precious things.

  The town house. The room she stood in.

  Glancing around, she looked at it with fresh eyes. Way more comfortable than the dorms. She didn’t have to share her room with anyone. They had a kitchen and living room. One shared bathroom, but it at least had two sinks. It was nice but didn’t feel like home. It lacked the sense of comfort she thought she should feel. The welcoming warmth when she opened the door and stepped inside.

  The sound of footsteps came from outside her room. One heavy and one light. Spinning on her heel, she pulled her door open and found Blaire and Ryan in the hallway about to go into Blaire’s room.

  “Hey, Blaire. Ryan.”

  They stopped in their tracks, backing up a couple of steps. “Hey, Tess.” Blaire’s eyes narrowed with wariness.

  “What place feels like home to you?”

  Blaire blinked and glanced at Ryan before focusing on her again. “Um, home.”

  Tess waved her hand in the air. “No, when you’re away from home and not someplace you’re living. None of the places I’ve lived have felt like home.”

  “Easy, the football field,” Ryan answered.

  “Oh my God, me too,” Blaire gushed. “I love it when we’re doing a routine and all eyes are on us.”

  “I bet you do,” Ryan rumbled. “How about you show me how flexible you are?” He grabbed Blaire by the waist and picked her up.

  Blaire giggled. “I’ve already done that.”

  Tess rolled her eyes and thought about what they said. Not the sex and flexible stuff. She preferred not to think about them doing it at all. She spun and walked back into her room. Turning around, she walked back out into the hall. “The football field?” She wanted clarification. “Why?”

  Ryan and Blaire both looked at her, but Ryan was the one who spoke. “We spend so much time there, it’s hard to think of it in any other way. Austin and I—”

  Blaire punched him in the stomach, and he grunted.

  “What?” he asked, while rubbing his belly. Like Blaire could hurt the big defensive back.

  Blaire tipped her head in Tess’s direction.

  Ryan had a sheepish look on his face. “Oh, sorry, Tess. I, uh, didn’t mean to, uh, say Austin’s name. I know things didn’t work out between you two.”

  “Ryan, stop.” Blaire hissed.

  “It’s okay, Blaire,” Tess said. She wanted to hear what he had to say. “Austin and you what?”

  He shrugged. “We go there sometimes at night. To think. Helps us focus on whatever problem we might be having. He’s been out there a lot the last week or so.”

  “Poor baby,” Blaire cooed before kissing Ryan. “I’ll help you sort through your problems.”

  Tess ignored the pair playing tonsil hockey. “Okay, then. I think I have the answer. Well, part of it.”

  “Hmmm?” Blaire mumbled.

  “The place I feel at home. I have a place to start. It’s the football field, too.”

  Ryan cocked his head to the side. “Why?”

  “I spend a good portion of my time there as well. You didn’t think those musical instruments played themselves, did you?” She grinned when understanding dawned on him. It felt nice to mention band without the heaviness of Josh’s antics on her shoulders. Once she figured out she no longer cared, the weight of the whole humiliating event lifted off her shoulders.

  “Oh, yeah. Blaire told us you were in the band. Halftime shows and playing in the stands.”

  “Yep. Thanks for the help.”

  Tess turned to leave, then turned back to them again. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but I’m glad you two found each other. I know finding your mate is pretty special.”

  Ryan grinned at Blaire. “It is,” he said, before taking Blaire into her room. The door slammed closed with a hard kick, and Tess laughed.

  She marched into her room and shut the door behind her. She changed out of her pajamas, yanking on jeans and the first T-shirt she laid her finger on. She slipped on her shoes, shrugged on a coat, and slid her house key and ID into the pocket. Last, she plucked her phone off the bed then raced down the stairs and out the front door.

  Ten minutes of cheetah power-walking later, she ducked through an unlocked gate of the stadium and came out a tunnel, the fifty-yard line straight ahead. Hugging the right wall, she inched along, wary of being found out. She didn’t want a blemish on her record so close to graduation. A quick look to the left and she stopped dead in her tracks. A man stood in the stands, leaning on the high brick wall separating the fans from the field. His hair ruffled in the light breeze, bringing a familiar musky scent her way. Sadness—loneliness—drifted off him in waves.

  “Mate,” her cheetah purred.

  Her heart skipped a beat, and she recalled what Ryan had said. “He’s been out there a lot the last week or so.” He was out there because of her.

  The previous week hadn’t been easy on her. Austin was never far from her thoughts. There was a constant ache in her core for him, a wholly unfamiliar sensation. It wasn’t about sex either. She physically hurt from the missing half of her soul. Something she never felt when she thought her own cheetah
had abandoned her.

  Late in the evenings when she couldn’t sleep, she let her cheetah out to roam the room in an attempt to meld the two halves of her psyche back together. To find a way to trust what the animal’s instincts were. She struggled to hold onto a fragment of her human side. Shifting back to her natural form when the beast became bored or tired and let go.

  Standing at the edge of the field watching the man claiming to be her mate—no, the man who was her mate—she knew what needed to be done. She knew, without a doubt, where home was.

  Armed with the advice from ROAR and the reassurance she would never in fact be alone, she allowed her cheetah to push to the front. Her vision wavered, claws sprung forth, and feline teeth erupted. A purr built in the back of her throat. Through the transition, her human side maintained some control, never allowing the cheetah to fully emerge. It was a joint effort, a blending of dominance.

  Austin’s musky scent drifted over her again. A shiver, much like a sensual caress, fluttered down her spine. Mate. Home.

  Chapter Nine

  Austin looked across the empty football field, soaking in the quiet ambience. He knew most people wouldn’t think of a sports stadium as being peaceful. They came to see fast-paced action, hard man-on-man violence. To hear the loud grunts and groans as players crashed and crunched into each other, helmets colliding in battle. To take part in the brutal, testosterone-fueled atmosphere, all from the safety of their seats.

  When he occupied the field, it was none of those things. To him, it was his sanctum. The place he felt most at home. Where he came to think. Sort out the chaos taking hold at times, whether the problem was school or the pressures of football. To find his center.

  He didn’t have any luck finding his center. His heart dropped into his stomach. A vital part of him was missing, and there were no signs of it being found any time soon.

  It had been a week since he’d last seen Tess. A week since he’d been able to touch her. Smell her. Hold her tight. It killed him. The cheetah pined for her. Scratching at the surface, wanting to find her and bring her to heel. The constant ache in his chest intensified with each passing day.

  He rubbed his hand over his heart, hoping for relief, knowing it wouldn’t work.

  “Tess,” he said on a low breath. “Please, baby I need you.” It was a whispered plea he didn’t think would be answered.

  “Austin.” Tess’s soft voice caressed his ears on the wind. Swinging around, he expected the place to be empty. It wasn’t.

  Emerging from the tunnel behind him was the woman who wouldn’t leave his thoughts. Afraid she would disappear if he moved, he stayed rooted to the spot. Waiting for her to come closer. After walking to the concrete wall separating them, she stopped. He moved closer, unable to fight the instinct to be near her.

  She smiled at him, as if afraid he would reject her. Damn, was she ever wrong. He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing there, but nothing came out. He didn’t think he could take her telling him no again.

  The last week had been brutal on him. Physically and emotionally. He didn’t sleep, and when he didn’t sleep, he worked out at the gym. Working out at the gym meant a clear head, where she more often than not worked her way to the forefront. His concentration sucked. Classes passed by in a blur. He got sacked nine times out of ten on the practice field. His coach benched him, telling him to sort his shit out before he came back from the winter break.

  She shook her head, misery written on her face. “I screwed the pooch, didn’t I?”

  He wanted to tell her no, but she held her hand up, stemming his words.

  “You’ve been trying to get me to talk to you, and I’ve been…resistant.”

  “Stubborn,” he couldn’t help but rumble out.

  A wry little smile quirked the corner of her mouth up. “Stubborn is an apt description.”

  She trapped her lower lip between her teeth, as she worked something out in her head. He wanted to soothe the tortured spot for her when she let go but held back. She was making an effort, and he owed it to her and himself to let her say what she needed to say. Her eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. “Is it too late?”

  Austin shook his head, afraid if he spoke, he’d make a fool out of himself. Holding out his hand, he waited for her to take it. The glide of her palm across his sent his body into shock. Mate.

  “Jump,” he commanded, pulling her over the short concrete wall in one swift move.

  She landed in front of him as graceful as a dancer, their hands still locked together. The light scent of peaches floated through the air, caressing his skin. He would happily drown in it as long as she stayed with him.

  She dropped into the first chair, dragging him with her. Once he sat, she let go of his hand. He wanted to snatch it back. Let her make the moves.

  Tess shifted her attention to the field, pulling in a deep breath. Her chest lifted, her breasts drawing his gaze. “It’s beautiful out here. So quiet and peaceful.”

  Austin didn’t bother turning his head. He knew what the field looked like and had no intention of letting her out of his sight. She was even more beautiful than the last time he’d seen here. She seemed lighter, freer, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The cloud of anger no longer hovered over her head. Hope sparked in his chest, the burn slow and hot.

  “Yeah. I think so, too.” As much as he wanted to beg her to talk, ask her questions, he didn’t. He would let her be the one to start the conversation.

  For too many minutes, they sat in silence.

  At last, she peered at him from beneath her lashes. “I bet you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”

  Austin shrugged, trying not to show how desperate he was to know. “It crossed my mind.”

  “I, uh, came here because of a text.”

  He didn’t stop the groan from leaving his chest. “Please, tell me Ryan didn’t tell you I would be here.”

  “In a way he did, but not from a text.”

  “Oh?”

  “Why would he have my number in the first place?”

  “Blaire could have given it to him. He was tired of listening to me moan and groan about you. That’s why I started coming out here.”

  She beamed at him. “You were moaning and groaning about me?”

  “Like you don’t already know. You’re my mate. You may not believe it, but I missed you.”

  “You don’t know enough about me to miss me,” she countered.

  Austin rolled his eyes. “I’ve been trying to get to know you. You’ve been resistant to my efforts. It doesn’t matter, though. My cheetah wants you. Knows you’re his mate. I follow where he goes.”

  A delicate frown formed on her face. “So, you aren’t interested in me in any way other than our cheetahs saying we’re destined to be together?”

  The question had to be a trap. He knew something pushed him to get to know her. Something in the back of his head telling him there could be more. All his efforts, though, had been rebuffed. How did he answer without making things worse?

  “Not fair. No matter how I answer, I’m in the wrong. Our cheetahs want to be together. You can’t deny it. I’ve seen it reflected in your eyes. As for the human side, you know I’m attracted to you. Based from our kisses, I know when we have sex it will be explosive. Beyond that, I don’t know. I’ve tried over and over to get to know you. You’ve shut me down each time. I don’t know you well enough to say one way or the other.”

  She nodded. She didn’t appear angry or offended. A cool sense of calm rolled off her, soothing his own senses. “You’re right. There’s a lot we need to talk about, a lot to learn about each other. If you’ll give me time, I think we can work it all out.”

  Austin’s stomach clenched at the thought. He couldn’t handle more time away from her. “Time away from each other?”

  Tess shook her head. “No, this past week proved spending time apart isn’t the answer. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin not having you around.”

 
Leaning over, he couldn’t resist kissing her, glad to know he wasn’t alone in aching for their mate.

  Breaking apart too soon in his book, Tess leaned back. “I think I need to go back to the beginning, ya know, so you have the entire picture of what went on in my head. It all came down to one pretty important thing.”

  She hesitated, and he didn’t know if she would continue. Her lips moved, but nothing came out. She exhaled then licked her lips. Her gaze locked with his, and the depth of emotion in her eyes stunned him. Fear. Confusion. Hope. Love.

  “I didn’t know if I could trust my cheetah instincts.”

  “You should always trust them,” he said with vehemence.

  She chuckled, a sad note tingeing the sound. “That’s easy for you to say. I had a difficult childhood. Nothing violent, but traumatic enough to affect me. My father took me away from my mother at a young age, and I never knew why. Soon after we left and settled in our new house, he started drinking. After a couple of years, I’d say he was a functioning drunk, able to keep a roof over my head, food in my belly, and clothes on my back. We had a place to live, but not a home.

  “He didn’t teach me to embrace my shifter side. In fact, he discouraged it. As time went by, I saw less and less of her until one day, she was gone. I didn’t see her again until I came here. There were so many shifters…being shifters. It was amazing. Made me want the kind of freedom they had.

  “Bit by bit, I let her out, and I thought things were back on track. I had my first boyfriend. I made friends. My cheetah came out more and more. And then you came along, sending her into hyperdrive. Feelings and emotions I never experienced from the animal overwhelmed me. I didn’t know how to handle it and, honestly, thought this was a mistake.”