by Anna Park
“Yeah. You're totally right. I need to need to be strong for her.”
Lia took a deep breath. “I’m so scared, though, she’s like my mom now. My real mom doesn’t even speak to me….I mean, ever since my dad died our relationship just fell apart…” Lia bit her lips and fought back the tears. Be strong.
“I understand.” There was pain in Colin’s deep brown eyes; he looked like a lost little boy. He reached over and stroked her hair gently. Lia’s body filled with warmth as he gently touched her. The pain in his eyes eased as they sat there, together in silence.
Colin cleared his throat.
“I'm so sorry about the other day...When we um, kissed, you know.”
His cheeks were bright red and he looked down. “I’m sorry it was interrupted. I was really…um… into it.”
Lia could see sweat forming along Colin’s hair line.
“It’s okay.” Lia put her hand on Colin’s clenched hands. When she touched him, he softened. His eyes met hers again.
Lia said, “I did too. It was really comforting, and then more than that... But I was really upset when you ended it so abruptly.”
Colin frowned and his mouth turned down at the ends. Lia saw the darkness return to his eyes.
“I broke your trust.”
Lia fought back tears again. Colin was being so honest and vulnerable with her. She didn’t let others see her cry, but something about him made her feel safe.
“I felt so protected with you.” She touched his hand gently. The tingling that went through her body was like a jolt of electricity.
“I want you to have that feeling again.” Colin’s eyes were intense as he looked at Lia. This time he didn’t look down.
She gasped quietly, not knowing what to say.
He moved himself right beside her and softly stroked her cheek with his thumb and index finger. Lia closed her eyes, surrendering to his touch. She felt his breaths on her face as he came closer and brought his lips to hers. He lingered there, barely touching her lips. His warm and sweet breaths were soothing to Lia. “Mmmm.”
Colin pulled his lips away and moved so that the tip of his nose barely touched her forehead and his lips were grazing her nose. Lia’s hands encircled his strong neck.
“I need to have you, Lia,” Colin said. His breaths were faster, and more urgent. She pulled his mouth into hers, and their lips collided. Colin sucked on Lia’s lower lip, and pulled her tongue into his mouth. “Ahhh.” Lia felt the pleasure radiate from deep inside her groin.
“Wait.” The voice of reason in Lia spoke up. Colin pulled away. His cheeks were flushed. “I’m not sure.”
“Of what?” His voice was sympathetic.
“I don’t know if you’re expecting anything from me. I’m not really experienced, and I don’t know—”
Colin held Lia’s hand and looked straight into her eyes. “We can just sit here like this. I’m happy doing just this.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
His reassurance was like a warm hug that made Lia feel safe and protected. The tingling became even more intense. I need him. Lia sat down on his lap, her legs straddling his. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she whispered.
“Just follow your feelings.” Colin’s hands were on her back, pulling her chest into his body.
His kisses were needy and hungry, and she could feel the growing hardness under his flannel pants.
“Can I take it off?” Colin’s hands were tugging at Lia’s shirt.
Lia nodded mid-kiss. His big hands pulled her shirt over her head. When they separated, she that his eyes were black with desire. “Oh, wow.” His lips parted as he stared intently at her chest. Lia felt her heartbeat quickening. Her breasts ached to be touched.
Lia felt him undo the clasp of her bra with one hand.
“That’s what I really wanted to see.”
“I’m feeling self-conscious...” she whispered.
Colin responded by sucking hard on her nipple.
“Colin that feels so good, keep going…” She forgot about feeling self conscious. Lia forgot everything that wasn’t Colin.
Colin reached down and started to undo her pants. Lia put her hand on his hands. “I’m nervous.”
He looked up, hot with desire. “We can go as slow as you want.”
Lia knew he was restraining himself for her sake. She moved her hands away. “Do it.”
Colin unzipped her. Feeling his hands rub her down there made her feel damp. “Ohhh.”
“Is that okay?” he whispered.
“Uh huh,” she cried out. The pleasure was flooding her, and she didn’t know if she could contain herself. Colin finished yanking off her pants. He looked ready to pounce on her.
“Can you take mine off too?”
Lia reached for his pants, feeling his strong muscular bottom. “Mmm.” She moved her hands to the front, and she felt his hardness through his soft pants.
“Oh my god,” she gasped. When she touched it, he moaned. “Don’t stop.” Lia rubbed him through his pants and stopped. “I want to feel you.” Colin helped her remove his pants. Blue boxer briefs strained with his excitement.
“Oh my God.”
“Can I take your panties off?” Lia nodded and Colin inserted his thumb between her skin and her panties and pulled them off slowly.
“Oh, oh.” He stared at her newly-waxed bikini area. His hands moved to touch her.
“Wait.” Lia was burning inside and she had to have him. She yanked off his boxers and gulped. Okay. I think I can do this. Sensing her fear, Colin kissed her gently on the lips. His hands supported her head. Lia felt warm and safe.
“I’m ready.”
“Put this on.” He handed her a condom. Lia had never done this before, but she fumbled and slipped it on.
“Is that okay?”
“Yes.” He struggled to speak.
“I'll put it in.” Lia adjusted herself, bringing herself close to Colin, who looked desperate.
“Please, I can't wait any longer.”
Lia felt awkward as he entered her, but an explosion of pleasure surprised her.
“Oh that’s so good,” she breathed into his ear.
“Oh my god, oh my God. It’s never felt so good, so good, so good,” he cried.
He started to thrust gently back-and-forth, back-and-forth. She started to feel the pressure mounting. “I don’t think I can take much anymore...Too much, too much.”
At that moment he reached for the soft and sensitive spot between her legs. Lia felt like her insides were going to explode with pleasure.
“Oh, oh.” She felt Colin shudder inside her, just as she finally passed the threshold of build-up. The waves of intense pleasure shook her and she held on to Colin, in their world for two.
Colin dozed off to sleep, his arms wrapped around Lia. What an intense night. She was too wound up to fall asleep. Little doubts started creeping in, and Lia felt the uncontrollable urge to move. She slipped out of Colin’s embrace without waking him, and quietly put her clothes on. As the apartment door was shutting, she caught another glimpse of Colin lying in his bed. Her heart quivered, and she almost stepped back inside.
CHAPTER NINE
The sunlight peeked in through the curtains in Colin’s room. He rubbed his eyes and opened them slowly. Lia? He rolled over, expecting to see her curled up on the other side of the bed. The bed was empty, a pillow in her place. Where had she gone? Colin sat up and looked around his room. No sign of Lia.
His body felt cold and clammy. A lump formed in his throat, making it hard to swallow. Colin hadn’t felt that sinking feeling since his mother had left them. His mother had left a scribbled note for him. She hadn’t bothered to say goodbye to her ten-year-old-son. Something about having found true love, and that someday Colin would understand. Colin had just stood there, sobbing. His father had crumpled up the note and told him they would never talk about her again. H
e’d never understood why she’d left him, her baby. He breathed in deeply.
But this is different. Lia must be around here. Or she just had to go somewhere.
Colin stood up, his legs shaky. He was still naked. I guess I never got dressed after last night. The thought of the previous night made him ache for Lia’s soothing touch. A piece of paper on his desk caught his eye. Lia. She left me a note.
Sorry I had to take off. I had a great time. See you later?
That’s it? After the most incredible night he’d ever had? It hadn’t been his first time, but it was the only time he had cried after sex. Lia hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks after he had come. He had pretended to fall asleep, but his body had been rushing with raw emotion.
I’m sure there’s a reason. She’s not like that. Colin dressed himself, grabbing the clothes strewn on the floor from last night. She’ll be in lab, and she can explain.
Colin left the house without eating breakfast. His stomach felt too queasy for food. He moved faster than usual, impatient to get into lab.
*************
Lia finally walked into lab around noon that morning. She tried to sneak in so that no one would notice how late she was. Of course, she banged her foot on one of the metal trash cans and everyone looked up. She saw that Colin was busy working at his bench pouring some solutions. When he heard her, he turned to face her. “Late night, huh?”
Lia blushed. Oh God. Colin. He was wearing the rumpled clothes from last night, and there were bags under his eyes. His hair was standing up in odd places, and stubble covered his cheeks and chin.
“Um, yeah…”
“Thanks for the note. You know, I was looking for you.” His eyes turned downwards. His voice wavered and ended on an inflection, sounding more like a question.
“Um yeah, I didn’t want to impose on you or anything.” Lia avoided his eyes.
Colin came over and touched her arm lightly. Lia felt the desire bubbling inside her again. She moved his hand, and turned to start her work. Must not think about him. Must work.
Lia was eager to set up her experiments. That was the problem with starting late in the day. Now she would be stuck in lab until much later.
Colin leaned over. “When you have a minute can we discuss your work? Dr. P wants me to update him.” He stood there, waiting for an answer.
Lia felt the butterflies in her stomach again. She had a hard time getting her breath. I hope he can’t tell.
“Just let me get these proteins spinning.”
“Okay.”
Colin moved back to his bench and Lia began to lay out the solutions she needed. She was deep in concentration when she felt someone standing next to her.
“So, what’s up with you and Colin?” Farahnaz stood there, her dark eyes focused on Lia. She wore tight jeans and a fitting top that showed off her ample chest.
Are you serious?
“Uh…”
She came so close to Lia that she could hear her breaths. “He’s a player, you know.”
Lia’s mouth felt glued shut.
Farahanaz’s eyes gleamed and she gave Lia a tight smile. “Good luck with your experiment.”
Lia’s hands were shaking and she had to make an effort not to spill her protein samples. Breathe, breathe. Colin said there’s nothing going on.
Lia wanted to trust Colin. After last night, how could she not trust him? She buried the seeds of doubt deep inside herself. There was no way she was going to let Farahnaz mess things up for her right now.
Once her protein samples were spinning on the centrifuge, Lia walked over to Colin. He looked up right away when he heard her.
“You have a few minutes?” he asked.
“Yup, I'm free for about 45 minutes.”
“So, what have you been doing?”
“I’ve just been getting the wild type plasmids so I can purify the protein. Then I’ll start working on the mutant.”
“Sounds good. Are you having any issues so far?”
“I'm just following the procedure I got from the paper. It's pretty straightforward.”
“Good.”
Colin was facing Lia but his eyes were glazed over, looking inwards. His hand distractedly touched Lia’s arm, and his breathing grew faster.
“What is it you're purifying again?”
“The wild type...I just told you that?”
“Right, okay. That makes sense. Did you need any help with that?”
“No, I'm good. Really, I would ask for help.”
What’s with him?
Colin’s eyes focused on Lia again.
“Sorry, guess I’m out of it…Hey, you want to go for little walk?”
“Okay.”
Lia and Colin walked out of the lab together. She felt his arm bump against hers, and her body tingled remembering the previous night. Those kisses. That closeness.
“Let's go for a walk on the green.” Colin pulled her arm gently. “This way.”
It was a chilly Fall day and all the leaves had turned bright red and orange. Gusts of wind were blowing them to the ground. Lia kicked up a few leaves, she couldn’t resist the temptation.
“Hey, are you kicking leaves at me?”
“Whoops, I'm sorry.” No I’m not.
Colin grabbed a fistful of leaves and threw them at Lia.
“What are you doing?”
“Gotcha!”
Lia grabbed a big bunch of leaves and before she knew it, they were having a leaf fight. Red, yellow and orange leaves flew back and forth as passersby looked at them with bemused expressions.
“Aaaaaah,” she shrieked as he crumpled a bunch of colorful leaves in her hair. The crinkly leaves broke into tiny little pieces. “I’m going to look like a mess.”
She got revenge by dumping a pile of leaves down his shirt. “Hey!” Colin had to pull his shirt out of his pants to get the leaves all out. “That’s not fair!”
She laughed, throwing another bunch of leaves at him. Lia hadn’t had a good laugh in a long time. Colin’s hair was disheveled, with little bits of leaves stuck in between the strands. His checks were ruddy from running. He looks so cute.
“Come here, troublemaker.” Colin grabbed Lia and leaned her against a tree.
He kissed her hungrily and possessively her, like he been waiting for it all day. These were not the gentle and soothing kisses Lia was used to.
“Mmm, Colin…” Lia was enjoying the wilder version of Colin.
He held her head, bringing her in for a deeper kiss. “Ahhh.” His lips sucked her lips. He was tight up against her and she could feel his mounting excitement. A gust of wind distracted Lia and she remembered her experiment and pulled away. Colin’s lips were engorged from kissing her and his eyes wanted more.
“My proteins are almost done spinning. We have to go back.” Colin sighed, clearly not ready to stop. He pulled his arms away from Lia and ran them through his hair. “Okay.”
*************
“Alex?” Lia opened the door to Gianna’s apartment. It was 10 p.m. Lia had been woken by the sound of banging on her aunt’s front door. She had collapsed into bed after getting home from lab at 5, and she was groggy and disoriented. Alex’s green eyes were red and swollen, and her long red hair was uncombed.
“What’s wrong?”
Alex’s lower lip trembled and her eyes teared up.
“I’m pregnant.”
“What? How did this happen? I mean—”
“I went to the doctor yesterday. I’m almost three months.”
Lia felt her stomach sink.
“I had missed some periods, but I ignored it until I started throwing up.”
“Come in and sit down.”
Alex followed Lia into Gianna’s living room.
“We need to be quiet, Gianna is sleeping.”
Alex nodded.
“I didn't know you had a boyfriend...uh, do you know who the dad is?�
�
“No. I have no idea.”
The words were like a stab in Lia’s stomach. Tears were streaming down Alex’s checks now. Lia tentatively hugged her sister. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and this was the first show of emotion Lia had seen from Alex, since their dad had died.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such an awful sister. I don't know what I've been doing all these years… You've been trying to help me, and I just ignored you. I'm so sorry…”
Lia’s cheeks were wet. Her poor baby sister. She hadn’t known any better. She had been avoiding the hurt for so long, and now she had to come face-to-face with it.
“It's okay. Don't worry about that. I know things were really hard for you. I wish I had pushed harder, but I didn’t want to drive you away completely.”
Lia took a deep breath.
“Do you want to continue the pregnancy?” Her stomach knotted up, not wanting to hear a negative answer. Somehow, she was already attached to the idea of this little being inside her sister.
“Yes, yes. I feel really connected to this little baby living inside of me. I just can imagine not keeping it.” Alex sounded different. Like the old Alex she used to be best friends with when they were little girls. The one who was fiercely loving and tender.
“You’ll have to change.” Lia stated the obvious.
“Yeah. I know, I know.”
Lia said, “I'm going to help you take care of you and the baby. I'm sure Gianna wouldn't mind if you came to live with us. We’ll help you out. Don't worry, okay?”
Her sister ventured, “But how is Gianna doing?”
“She's such a doing quite well. I mean she's in really good spirits. A little tired, but she's hanging in there. She just started the chemo.”
“Can you tell her that I'm really sorry I’ve been such an awful niece?”
“Don’t worry, she understands.”
“Thank you so much Lia…”Alex was sniffling again. Must be the pregnancy hormones on top of everything. “We used to be so close. I miss that and I hope we can get back to it, someday.”
“I love you, Alex.”
Alex reached for Lia and hugged her so tight that Lia could hardly breathe.
