The Darkness of Light

by Tammy Farrell

  While the man named Gareth revived the fire, Mara wrapped a thick woolen blanket around her shoulders. Corbin noticed her shivering. He waited anxiously for her to speak. Then she looked up at him and said nothing.

  “What is going on, Mara? What is wrong with him?” he asked her, torn between his desire to hold her and his need to know the truth.

  Corbin’s father grunted. “You don’t have to talk like I’m not here, you know.”

  Mara gave Drake a worried look and turned back to Corbin. “I don’t know. He says he lost his memory during the war. He was injured and was told he had no family left. He remembers nothing before that.”

  Corbin wanted to believe what she was saying, but how could he accept that his father had been alive all this time?

  Barrett walked up to Drake and put an arm on his shoulder. “Drake, don’t you remember me? We fought side by side. Our boys were like brothers,” he urged.

  Drake shook his head. “I don’t remember you. I’m sorry.”

  Ailwen jumped up. “Are you saying you’re not who we say you are?”

  Drake continued to shake his head. “I’m not saying that, boy. I’m saying I don’t recognize you.” His eyes filled with shame.

  Corbin gritted his teeth and his shoulders tensed. “I am your son!” he said. “Did you run? Is that was this is? Did you run like the rest of our kind and now you’re pretending to be someone else?” Corbin could see a flash of uncertainty in his father’s eye and then he stepped forward.

  “I am not a man who runs!” he insisted.

  “Enough! Please,” Mara ordered from where she sat.

  Drake’s face softened. “I am not a man who runs. I would never knowingly leave my son behind.“

  Corbin stepped forward. “But you did,” he seethed.

  “Corbin,” Mara said. “Now is not the time. Drake, we need some more wood for the fire. If you will get us some, maybe we can all calm down for a moment.”

  Drake stared at Corbin a moment longer, grunted and walked off.

  Annora put her hand to her forehead. “I just can’t believe this,” she said.

  “Me either,” said Ailwen, sitting back down beside her.

  Mara reached out and grabbed Corbin’s hand to pull towards her. “He really is a good man, Corbin. I know he is telling the truth. He’s just confused.”

  Mara turned to Annora. “In the weeks we’ve been with Drake, have you sensed anything from him? Does he have any Dia in him?”

  Annora shook her head. “No. I had no idea.”

  Corbin’s head shot up and he searched Mara’s face. “I don’t understand, Mara. How could you not have known? Why wouldn’t you sense him?”

  She took in a long, slow breath. “Corbin, look at me. What’s different about me?”

  He examined her once more, studying the change in her as he moved his fingers through hers and touched her face. Then he saw what he hadn’t wanted to admit. “Your powers,” he said. “They’re gone.”

  She nodded. “Perhaps it’s the same with Drake.”

  Corbin squeezed her hand, craving the lost vibration. “What has happened? Please, Mara, tell me.”

  She looked like she disappeared inside her mind for a moment, unable to speak, so Annora began. “Rowan is dead,” she said simply.

  “What?” Corbin gaped at her. “How can Rowan be dead?” He looked back at Mara and her face fell. “Malcolm,” she said. Corbin could see she made an effort to catch her breath before she continued. “Malcolm killed Rowan and absorbed his powers. He said Rowan attacked him, and that killing him was an accident.”

  Annora nodded. “That’s what he said to me as well.”

  Corbin was thunderstruck. “How could he kill Rowan? How could he take another’s power?” he asked.

  Mara shook her head. “I don’t know, but he did.” She paused and swallowed hard. “And then he took mine as well.”

  Corbin felt a sickening twist in his stomach. “That was the change I saw in Malcolm at Valenia,” he said. “Malcolm tried to hide it from me.” Corbin’s whole body began to shake, and he found himself once again unable to look Mara in the eye.

  Mara raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You went back there? He said he would kill you,” she whispered. “I thought you might be dead.” Her voice cracked, but Corbin could see her push it down.

  “I did go back. He told me you ran off and that Rowan had gone after you,” Corbin said.

  Mara nodded. “He said that’s what he’d do.”

  “That fucking wretch!” Corbin exclaimed. “I should have known he was up to something.” He stepped back. “No. I did know and I did nothing!” He looked at Mara remorsefully. “I should have done something.” His head throbbed with guilt when he felt her squeeze his arm.

  “Will you walk with me?” she asked. “There is more I need to tell you.”

  Corbin sensed the warning in her tone and was terrified of what she might say. He feared he already knew what it might be, and silently begged the gods that he was wrong.

  Mara turned to the others. “We won’t be far off.”

  Gareth nodded. “I will go see how Drake is doing with that wood.”

  Corbin stood and watched as Mara used his arm to pull herself up. Her movements were cautious and slow. She looked very human; so human it scared him.

  As they walked away she gripped his arm and stopped when they were out of earshot from the group. Corbin almost had to hold her up, feeling her weakened frame. “I know you’ve lost your powers, but what else is it?” he asked.

  Mara locked her darkened eyes on him for a long moment and began to loosen the clasp of her cloak. She let it fall, untied her belt and lifted the shortened tunic so that he could see the bandages wrapped around her trembling frame. Corbin saw a dark stain that seeped through the top layer.

  Mara looked down at it. “I attacked Gareth when we didn’t know who they were. He got me in the side as I came up behind him. It was a mistake. He didn’t mean to do it. ”

  Corbin’s heart sank. He lifted his hand and pulled down the top of the bandage. Hidden beneath was a festering wound that had begun to rot. Corbin put his hand to his mouth in horror. She was dying. Mara was mortal and she was dying. His eyes searched hers with desperation. She knew it too.

  Corbin called upon his Light and lifted his hands, praying his powers could heal her. “Let me help you,” he said, but Mara put up her hands to stop him.

  “No. Wait,” she said, biting her lower lip. “If you do this, you might see things… I don’t know if I can…”

  Corbin furrowed his brow. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “If I don’t heal it, you will die. Please, Mara.”

  She seemed to consider it with more care than Corbin thought needed. He couldn’t understand why she would want to die instead of letting him save her.

  Her shoulders shook as she looked at him with sad, dark eyes and pulled down the collar of her tunic, revealing her bare neck. “It’s my fault he killed Rowan and took my powers, Corbin. I gave him the Lia Fáil. I didn’t know its power,” she said as she began to sob. “I was so devastated about Isa, I didn’t want it. I didn’t want any of it. If I hadn’t given it to him, then none of this would have happened.”

  Corbin felt nothing but love for Mara in that moment, and complete hatred for Malcolm. He lifted her chin so that he could look upon her tear-stained face. “Rowan is dead because Malcolm chose to kill him. Not because you did.”

  She shook her head. “But there’s more, Corbin, and I don’t want to tell you. You will despise me forever.” She broke into a torrent of tears and began to shake even harder with each desperate sob. Corbin tried to hold her, but then she doubled over, clutching the wound at her side. He caught her and lowered her to the ground.

  Corbin stroked Mara’s forehead and kissed her cheek. “Please, my love. I am here. Let me help you,” he whispered.

  “But…” She tried to speak, but kept moaning in pain between gushes of tears.

 
“It’s all right,” he said, trying to soothe her. He pulled his dagger from his boot and began to cut away at the linen bandages. Her chest heaved with painful, tumultuous breaths. When the wound was clear of the bandage, Corbin summoned his Light to his hands and placed them over the festering gash. He could feel the severity of the rot that had spread into her blood. It took all of his strength to let his Light seep into the far reaches of her body when finally, to his great relief, the wound began to close.

  Corbin started to slowly withdraw his Light, making sure Mara was out of harm’s way, when suddenly everything around him went dark and he knew he was being pulled into a vision. He didn’t have the mind power like Malcolm, but the exchange of thoughts had happened to him at times when he healed others.

  Corbin struggled to pull away from it, but he was locked in. He could see flashes of hazy memories, and he could make out the details of his own chamber, and Malcolm as he pulled Mara’s powers from her. Corbin’s body felt weightless as Mara’s hazy mind showed him the image of Malcolm, with his silver eyes hovering over her. And then it became clear. Corbin gasped, when he realized what he was seeing. Malcolm was touching Mara and stroking her hair and taking from her what she had not given freely.

  Corbin began to fight even harder to break free from it, shaking his head, trying to stop the images. His eyes finally shot open when he felt the pounding on his chest. Sweat dripped from his forehead and he looked down to see Mara hammering at him with her fists. “Stop it, stop it!” she sobbed, covering her face with her hands and rolling on her side.

  She must have been locked in the vision as well, reliving it.

  Corbin stayed frozen on his knees, trying to make sense of what he saw. He was breathing heavily and with each breath the stabbing fury built up inside him, until it was almost too much to bear. He had to force himself to look away from her. He got to his feet and paced back and forth with frenzy as the reality of her visions sunk in. “No,” he groaned, squeezing his face between his hands, trying to free the visions from his mind. It was what he feared Malcolm would do.

  He stopped and looked down at her as she continued to cry uncontrollably.

  “No!” he screamed louder, beating his fists against a tree. “He is going to die!”

  Everything around Corbin seemed to go dim and the only sense he could feel was the weight of his own breath echoing inside him. He fell to his knees, but the sound of Mara’s sobs eventually broke him from his fury. He crawled to her and touched the spot where her wound had been. It was gone; he had healed it. But his powers could not heal the wound that now resided in the deepest recesses of her soul − the wound that Malcolm had put there.

  Corbin had to fight back tears of rage as he picked up Mara and cradled her in his arms. He kissed her head and tried to soothe her. “I am sorry, Mara,” he whispered, pushing back angry tears. “I am so sorry I failed you.” Corbin couldn’t seem to stop repeating the words.

  When Mara’s cries eventually quieted, she looked up at him with her darkened eyes. “I did this, Corbin. I gave him the stone. I could have killed him myself if I hadn’t.”

  Corbin shook his head. “How could you have known, Mara?” He wiped the tears from her face and she looked at him with the most painful expression.

  “Then how could you have known?” she asked.

  Corbin’s chest constricted with emotion while he hugged her close and buried his face in her neck. “I’m sorry, my love. I’m so sorry.”

  Mara and Corbin seemed to stay in a quiet embrace for almost half the night, holding each other close. When Mara was finally calm enough, she sat up and examined her stomach. “I don’t know how much longer I would have lasted if we hadn’t found you.” Her voice was shaky, but Corbin could see she tried to sound strong.

  “The gods must have wanted you to live, then,” he said.

  “Like this?” she asked. “There is something Malcolm said though, Corbin.” She swallowed hard. “Rowan told him my mother killed his father, and that Rowan thought I was the Keeper.”

  Corbin wrinkled his brow in thought. “So Malcolm knew? He knew your mother was the Keeper?”

  “Yes,” Mara said. “But I told them both I am not the Keeper. And if I was, I only had my full Light for one day. We will never know now, being that I’m mortal.”

  Corbin rubbed his chin. “Then Malcolm wants the coire?”

  “Yes. And he tried to keep me there in case I was the Keeper.”

  “How did you get out?” he asked.

  Mara gave a half smile. “Annora got us out.”

  Corbin’s eyes widened. “He could have killed you both, you know.”

  She nodded. “I know. But I had no choice, Corbin. It would have been days before you were back, and…I couldn’t,” she said, lowering her eyes.

  Corbin reached out and touched her arm. “It was brave, what you did. Even as a mortal you have a fire in you that is simply amazing.” He tried to hide the horror he still felt by softening his tone.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I just hope it’s enough to get my powers back.”

  Corbin shook his head. “You’re not thinking of going back to Valenia, are you? It isn’t safe for you there. I will go and deal with Malcolm.”

  “No. I am going, Corbin. I have to do this,” she insisted.

  Corbin shook his head harder. “It’s not safe and you know it!”

  Mara’s expression turned hard, her narrowed eyes pierced his soul. “Corbin! I am not going to let you die for me. You don’t understand how strong he is now. I have to get the stone back. It’s our only chance.”

  Corbin stood up, feeling his frustration rise. “Out of the question. I won’t put you at risk again. I can’t, Mara,” he pleaded. “If I die, at least you’ll be safe.”

  Mara stood up to meet his gaze. “But I won’t be safe, Corbin. Don’t you see? He will kill you and then come after me. I’ve suffered enough indignity as it is. At least give me the chance to take my powers back. I need to, Corbin.”

  Corbin held her face in his hands and kissed her. “I can’t lose you again.”

  She pulled his hands away. “I’m dead inside if I don’t, Corbin. I feel dead now.” Her expression was desperate. “Please don’t stop me from doing this. I can’t be told what I can and cannot do.”

  Corbin knew he was glaring at her with hard eyes, but his anger was not meant for her. He tried to calm himself. “I am not trying to tell you what to do. I am trying to help you.”

  Mara pursed her lips. “Corbin, I know what you say comes from love, but if you truly love me, you have to let me fight for myself. I am dead inside if I don’t.”

  Her words hit Corbin like a falling tree. He knew he was defeated, but he couldn’t shake the weight of his own blame. He hung his head. “I won’t lose you twice, Mara. I can’t.” He looked at her, letting his own desperation show. “I need to set things right.”

  She walked towards him and put her hand on his cheek. “The only way we can set things right is if I can get back what was taken from me…me, Corbin…it was taken from me.”

  Even though he didn’t want to give in, Corbin understood her passionate pleas. He pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head. “Fine, Mara. We will do this your way.”

  She exhaled. “I know it’s dangerous. I’m more worried about you than me,” she said.

  Corbin tilted her chin up and looked deep into her eyes. “Malcolm may be strong, Mara, but so am I. I only have one true weakness.”

  “And what’s that?” she asked.

  “You don’t already know?”

  Mara shook her head.

  He smiled affectionately. “It’s you, Mara. My only true weakness is you.”

  Mara woke in the early morning hours wrapped in Corbin’s arms. She thought her revelations to him would have given her some peace, but instead she still felt like a small child afraid of the dark. The images Corbin saw when he healed her only seemed to reawaken her memory. Throughout the night, they repe
ated over and over again in her mind every time she closed her eyes. And while the wound at her side was gone, she still felt the ache of the one that now seemed to lurk within her. But she was determined to hide it.

  Mara knew she had no choice but to face Malcolm and take back her power; not because it was what the gods wanted, or because her mother told her she had to. She needed to do this for herself and for the people she loved. It wasn’t going to be easy. As a human, Mara stood little to no chance against Malcolm, and even though Corbin was strong, he was only a half-blood, and Malcolm now had the power of three Dia on his side. Mara feared they would be marching to their deaths. And because she was now mortal, the prospect of her and Corbin dying meant the possibility of an eternal separation. There was no way around it. Corbin would go to the Otherworld, and Mara would fade into oblivion.

  But while these things certainly worried her, nothing seemed worse than spending a mortal life running from Malcolm, or worse, becoming his captive once more. It was either victory or death for her, and she would accept nothing else.

  Corbin began to shift as he awoke. Mara nuzzled closer to him. She hadn’t yet told him about seeing her mother, or the old woman’s prediction. She still didn’t know if she believed it herself, and considering the weight of what Corbin learned the day before, she thought it wise not to cause him more distress. Mara didn’t want to let Corbin go. But in the back of her mind she knew that if it meant saving his life, she would.

  Corbin breathed into her hair and pulled her closer. “Good morning.” He yawned and kissed her forehead.

  Before yesterday, she wondered if she would ever feel the same in his arms, but now she realized just being near him comforted her.

  “Good morning,” she responded with a tired smile.