Stepping on the Cracks

by Mary Downing Hahn

  "Dad was a little upset," Barbara said, "but Mother claimed she knew it all along."

  Elizabeth whistled, and I knew she was thinking about the hairbrush her mother had used on her rear end when she heard about Stuart and us.

  "Sometimes you start to feel the killing just has to stop," Barbara said. "You don't want anyone else to go to war. Especially somebody like Stu."

  There was a little silence. I was thinking about Jimmy, and it must have showed in my face because Barbara put her arm around me and gave me a hug. "We'll all miss Jimmy," she whispered. "College Hill won't be the same without him and Butch and Harold."

  With the wind tugging gently at our clothes and hair, we walked quietly down the path beside the trolley tracks. The March sun was warm, and the forsythia bloomed like spilled gold in front yards. Elizabeth balanced on the narrow tracks while Brent watched, laughing at her wavering steps and outspread arms. I walked beside Barbara, my head tilted back, looking up at the small white clouds scudding across the sky. They reminded me of a flock of sheep driven home by the wind.

  "What about dumbo Gordy?" Elizabeth asked after a while. She teetered for a moment and concentrated on regaining her balance as if she were more interested in walking the rail than hearing the answer to her own question, but she didn't fool me. Even though Elizabeth wouldn't admit it, not even to me, I knew she missed him.

  "According to Stu, Gordy's having a great time at his grandmother's house," Barbara said. "Best of all, Mr. Smith's gone out to California, looking for work. Stu doesn't think he'll be back."

  We were almost to Garfield Road when Barbara stopped and looked at us. "Can you two keep a secret?" she asked. "You can't tell anyone, not yet. I haven't even told my parents."

  Solemnly, Elizabeth and I crossed our hearts and hoped to die if we ever revealed a word of what Barbara was about to say. "Girl Scout's honor," I added for good measure.

  "Stu asked me to marry him," Barbara said.

  While I stared openmouthed, Elizabeth leapt off the trolley track and hugged Barbara as hard as she could. Turning to me, Elizabeth grabbed my hands, jumped up and down, and whirled me round and round. "I knew it, I knew it," she shouted.

  After a few more leaps, Elizabeth let go of me and seized Barbara's arm. "When's the wedding? Is it soon?"

  "Not till next winter," Barbara said. "It depends on the war and what the army decides to do with Stu."

  "Margaret and I will be your bridesmaids," Elizabeth told Barbara, "and Gordy can be the ring bearer."

  "What a wedding that would be!" Barbara threw back her head and laughed. The March sun caught the red in her hair and made it shine.

  Then, her face serious, she said, "You only get one wedding like that, kids, and I've already had mine. This time, Stu and I are going to the county courthouse, but I'll make sure you know all about it. If you hadn't dragged me down to the woods last winter, who knows what would've happened to Stu."

  We watched Barbara walk away, the wagon bouncing along behind her. Before she disappeared around a corner, Brent looked back at us. "Bye-bye! Bye-bye!" he called. "We go, we go!"

  We waved to him and Barbara and then kind of swooned against each other. It was exciting to know we'd been involved in a big romance, even helped it happen.

  Elizabeth punched me lightly on the shoulder. "Didn't I tell you she was in love with him?"

  I grinned and nodded my head. "You were right as usual," I admitted.

  "I always am," Elizabeth said. Running ahead, she shouted, "Step on a crack, break Hitler's back! Step on a crack, break Hitler's back!"

  Over our heads, tiny red buds softened the maples' bare branches. A robin, the first one I'd seen, hopped across Mr. Zimmerman's lawn, and two squirrels darted round and round the trunk of a tree, as if they were playing a game of tag. It was almost spring, and we were beating the Nazis. Soon it would all be over, both in Europe and in Japan. No more bombs, no more bullets, no more killing. Barbara would marry Stuart, and we'd all be happy again.

  For a moment I imagined our family riding in that brand-new car, heading toward Ocean City. Daddy driving, Mother reading the map, Jimmy and me in the back seat.

  Shocked at myself for forgetting, I stood still, my eyes shut, and forced myself to remember. Jimmy wasn't coming back. Forever and always, there would be just three of us. Mother, Daddy, and me. There might be a car, there might be a trip to Ocean City, but there would be no brother to call me funny names or make me laugh. Never, never, never. My eyes filled with tears, and I stumbled on an uneven place in the sidewalk as I walked slowly down Garfield Road.

  Already halfway home, Elizabeth whirled around to look at me. Her hair spilled over her eyes, her pea coat hung open, its last button dangling on a thread, and her overalls had a big hole in one knee. "Come on, slowpoke," she shouted. "Step on a crack!"

  It had been a long time since I believed our game would hurt Hitler and bring Jimmy home safely. But, to please Elizabeth, I yelled, "Break Hitler's back!" and stamped the sidewalk hard the way I used to.

  Elizabeth watched me run toward her. The wind had dried my tears, but from the way she grabbed my hand, she must have known I was feeling sad.

  For a moment we stared into each other's eyes. Lots of things had changed since the war started, but not us.

  Linking my little finger with hers, I smiled at Elizabeth. "Forever and always," I said, "no matter what happens, we'll be best friends."

  Together we walked the rest of the way home.