Southern Seduction

by Alcorn, N. A.

  I smell him before I see him. He always had good taste in cologne. Smelling the Polo aftershave is comforting; it makes me feel like maybe some things remained the same. I look up to see Jackson staring at me.

  “Hey, Savvy, are you okay? I mean, I know you’re not okay. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing all right and see if you needed anything.”

  “I’m good, Jackson. I’m just trying to come to terms with losing Dani and coming back home for the first time in seven years.”

  “I understand. I haven’t been back in many years myself. There are too many memories here.”

  “Do your parents still live here?” I ask.

  “No. After the divorce, my dad moved to Texas. My mom relocated to New Orleans.”

  I can’t believe that he brought up the divorce. Is he trying to make me suffer even more? His parents’ divorce ruined my life.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you get to see them often?” I really am interested. It’s important to me that Jackson mended fences with his parents. The divorce was really tough on him. It was tough on us both.

  “I see my mom more than my dad. He’s remarried and has another family. My mom is running an art gallery in the French Quarter. I try to get over to see her at least twice a year. She never remarried.”

  “Oh…I’m sorry. I really am, Jackson. I wish we could turn back the clock and make things different.” I feel awful about his parents. He had the perfect family life, and then he didn’t. I stare straight in front of me, not knowing what else to say.

  “Can I sit with you, Savvy?” He slides down the tree next to me. Our bodies are touching from shoulder to thigh. It’s incredibly hot and humid today, and the feel of his body next to mine isn’t helping at all.

  “Where are you living now, Jackson? How was college? Tell me what’s happened in your life.” I rattle off several questions in a row. I tend to do that when I’m nervous.

  “I currently live in Phoenix. It’s hotter than hell most of the year, but there is no humidity. You can wear shorts and sandals all year round.

  “College was good. I tore my ACL in my junior year; which all but ended my football career. The injury didn’t heal right for me to play my senior year, so I sat on the bench. The team kept me on the roster so I could finish school on scholarship, which was generous of them. I majored in computer science.

  “I work in telecommuting for a consultant company, which has been great. What about you?”

  Wringing my hands together, I take a deep breath before I respond. “I ended up in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I went to college. It took me six years to finish my business management degree. I work as an executive assistant at a large law firm.”

  “Didn’t Dani and Sterling end up in Colorado Springs?” he asks.

  “Yes, they did. In fact, it was his first official assignment. They lived in the same apartment building as I did—or do, because I still live there. They were there four years. It was like nothing had changed. Dani lived just down the hall from me, and we saw each other daily. Sterling was gone a lot, so Dani and I were connected at the hip. I swear he volunteered for deployments. He was home for a few months and then gone for a year, and that pattern continued until she died.”

  “Honestly, I’m surprised they even made it that long. They married the weekend after graduation and they stayed married until now. That’s pretty amazing.”

  “Obviously you don’t know the whole story, Jackson. Dani and Sterling’s divorce would have been final this coming Tuesday, but she passed away before it could be finalized.”

  “I had no idea. My brother called me when she died. That’s how I found out. I got to know Dani really well because of you. I’m so sorry, Savvy. It must be awful.” Jackson puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him. It would be so easy to fall back into his arms. I can’t let myself be weak where Jackson is concerned, so I pull away and stand up.

  “We should go inside and see if anyone needs anything. I really came to help Dani’s mom and say goodbye to my friend.”

  Turning away from Jackson, I walk into the house and into hell. Sterling is everywhere. It’s like he’s trying to drum up sympathy by playing the suffering widower. He moves from room to room, telling whoever will listen how heartbroken he is over Dani’s passing. I wonder if anyone knows what was really going on.

  “Savannah honey, come over here and meet Dani’s uncle Derek,” Mrs. St. Clair says.

  “Pleased to meet you, sir,” I respond. He’s a tall, skinny man with thinning hair and a bulbous nose. I don’t see any resemblance to Dani at all. In fact, her whole family looks nothing like her. I swear she was switched at birth. The thought makes me smile.

  “You can call me Derek. Dottie tells me that you and Dani have been friends for her whole life.”

  Did he just say Dottie? I never knew Dani’s mom’s name. What’s with all the D names? There’s Dani, Dottie, Derek and we can’t forget Dani’s sister, Donna. What the hell is wrong with these people?

  “Yes, sir. We have been friends since kindergarten. I lived just three doors down almost my entire life.”

  “Savannah, have you stopped in to see your mama yet? I am sure she would love to see you. How long has it been?” Dottie asks.

  “No, ma’am. I have not been to see her. It’s been seven years. I didn’t come to see my mama, Mrs. St. Clair. I came to say goodbye to Dani.”

  “Don’t let the past get in the way of your future, Savannah. I wish I had another opportunity to see my baby. Remember, it takes two. Your mama wasn’t alone in what happened. She’s suffered enough. You suffered enough,” she says.

  “Yes, ma’am. Is there something that I can do for you? I would really like to be of help.”

  I look around the room, trying to see if there are dishes to be done or food to be put away. When Southerners lose a loved one, they don’t lose their appetite. Every good Southern woman has a casserole ready to go just in case someone dies unexpectedly. A good Southern house has a deep freeze full of them just in case the plague runs through town. As I look around the kitchen at the various offerings, I can see Jackson off in the corner, watching me like a hawk.

  “No, sweetie. I think we are good for now. Please eat some of this food. Everyone we know has been here. There’s enough fried chicken, sweet potato pie, and casserole to feed an army.” With Ft. Polk nearby, we might need to enlist the Army in order to get rid of some of this food. The Leesville community has really outdone itself.

  I walk away, thinking about my mama and what she’s been up to these last seven years. Does she look the same? Does she still drive that little white Toyota?

  “Hey, Savvy, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but we need to settle this thing between us. Dani was my wife, and although we were ending our relationship, I did love her and care about her.”

  My fists are balled up next to my sides. I am trying so hard to control them. Count to ten, Savvy, I mentally tell myself. I will not be held responsible for what happens if he keeps baiting me. “Bullshit, Sterling. If you loved your wife, you would have been around more often. You would have seen that she was depressed. You would have known that she wasn’t taking care of herself. If you loved your wife, you wouldn’t have been sticking your cock into every girl that came along. You certainly wouldn’t have called her from Afghanistan and told her you didn’t love her anymore, and hadn’t for many years. What was her name? Sherry? I think that’s what Dani told me when she nearly had a nervous breakdown. Fuck off, Sterling!”

  I didn’t realize how loud my voice had become, but when I stopped talking, I had the attention of the entire household. Everyone was silent, and all eyes were on me. I walked over to Dani’s mom to give her a hug.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I just couldn’t let him stand there and play the victim. I’m sorry.” I turn to run out the door, but Dani’s mom stops me in my tracks.

  “Savannah Morgan Steele, you get back here this instant.” I a
m twenty-five years old and the use of my full name can still fill me with fear.

  “Yes, ma’am.” I return to stand in front of Dottie.

  “I know you loved my daughter. You were a better sister to her than her own blood. I know what Sterling did to her, and I hate that she suffered under him. He didn’t kill her, honey. Her diabetes killed her. I don’t like that he’s here any more than you do, but he’s still technically her husband and I don’t have a right to ask him to leave.”

  The tears are falling silently from my eyes. I see the pain of a mother in front of me, and I wonder if my own mother felt the same pain the day I walked out of her life.

  “You do have a right to ask him to leave, Mrs. St. Clair. He may be able to attend her funeral, but he has no right to your home. He may not have killed her directly, but I hold him responsible for her death anyway. If you have nothing for me to do, then I’ll be going. I’ll see you at the visitation tomorrow night.”

  “Savannah honey, I know that you’re suffering. I would like you to do something for me before you go. It’s something that I haven’t been able to do yet. The funeral home needs an outfit for my baby, and I just don’t know what she would have wanted to wear. She never stepped out of t-shirts and sweatpants since she came home. Could you pick something out for her and take it to Humbles Mortuary for me?”

  My hand brushes the tears that have fallen on my cheeks. “Yes, ma’am. I will be happy to pick out Dani’s last outfit.”

  Entering Dani’s room is like entering a time capsule. Looking around me, I am assaulted by the memories of my best friend. Her childhood room has remained like it was the day she left town seven years ago. Her walls are littered with concert and movie ticket stubs. Her bedspread is the same pink chenille cover that she had her senior year of high school. Her pom-poms hang loosely over her headboard. Her lip marks are on the mirror where she would kiss herself on the way out of the door, saying, “You look hot, babe.” I can’t help but smile at the memory.

  I sit at her vanity table and play with the perfume bottles that line the top. Dani loved perfume bottles, especially the ones with the rubber bulb attached. I smell several of them and the scents bring me back to places that I have not thought of in a long time. I am so lost in my memories that I don’t hear the door open behind me.

  “What are thinking about that’s making you smile?” Jackson asks from behind me.

  Startled by his voice, I drop the bottle I’m holding. This causes a chain reaction and makes all of the bottles fall like dominoes. I begin to laugh and cry at the same time. Trying to gain some control over my emotions, I set out to right all of the overturned bottles. I feel Jackson right behind me. I could always feel him before I could see him. I have a sixth sense about me when it came to Jackson.

  “I was just remembering how Dani would kiss the mirror before she left the room. She always told herself how beautiful she was. Maybe it was because she wasn’t hearing it from the people around her, or maybe it was because she was Dani and that was her way.”

  “I’m going to say that it was because it was Dani. She was beautiful. I can still see her long blond hair and her milk chocolate brown eyes. I think that’s what Sterling fell in love with.” He walks over to the vanity to help me straighten out my mess.

  “I think it was her boobs. She had large breasts and she had no problem showing them off,” I declare.

  Jackson begins to laugh. I used to love his laugh. “I have to admit that, as a young man in high school, her boobs were the topic of many locker room conversations.”

  “Oh really? What else did you boys discuss in the locker room?” I ask.

  “Don’t get me wrong. Once we were dating, I only had eyes for your boobs, Savvy. They were the best boobs I’d ever seen. In fact, I haven’t met a pair that stand up to yours.” Jackson smiles at me, and I can’t help but warm to him.

  Sniffling, I respond, “I’m glad that something about me made a lasting impression.”

  “Come on, Savvy. You know that I loved you. I have never stopped thinking about you.”

  That statement really catches me off guard. Jackson was the love of my life, and we were supposed to run off into the sunset with one another. I realize now that fairytales rarely come true. Hell, look at Dani. She’s lying in a wooden box, waiting for me to bring her clothes. I can almost hear her saying, “Savvy, I better look good or I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life.” With that thought, I rise from the bench and set out to find an outfit that would make Dani proud.

  “What do think of this shirt, Jackson? Turquoise blue was her favorite color. I thought that this would be good with black pants. It’s low-cut enough that her best assets will be shown. A couple of gold chains and some earrings and she’ll be as stunning in death as she was in life.”

  “I think that it will be wonderful, Savvy. I’ll go with you to the funeral home. We can drop the clothes off and then go to Tookie’s just like old times.”

  “Oh, Jackson, I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. My emotions are all over the place. I mean, we haven’t talked in seven years.”

  “Then we have a lot of catching up to do. Let’s go.” He pulls me from Dani’s room and into the living room, where I show Dottie the clothes I’ve chosen. After her approval, we drive directly to Humbles and then straight to Tookie’s.

  Somehow we end up in “our booth.” It’s the booth that sits farthest from the door. We liked that booth because it was out of the way. We could hide there and do our homework—or steal a kiss—and no one would bother us. Etched into the top of the table are our initials. After all of these years, it still says SS and JM forever.

  “Wow, I have just been transported about a decade back in time,” Jackson says.

  “Weird, huh?” I question.

  “Yes, but it’s also comforting to know that some things stay the same. How has life been treating you, Savvy? Do you like Colorado?”

  “Oh, things have been pretty good. I like Colorado. It’s beautiful. Colorado Springs sits at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. I can see Pikes Peak from my living room window. It was a tough adjustment at first. Having lived in the South all of my life, there’s a way of life here that you don’t find anywhere else.”

  “Are you saying that you miss Leesville?”

  “No, I’m saying that it’s different in Colorado. The people are different. The language is different. It took me two years to stop saying things like, ‘That just dudden add up.’ No one in Colorado calls me darlin’ or honey or sweetie, and I haven’t had a good cup of coffee since I left here.”

  “Same in Arizona. I haden’ thought about it much, but id-in-it funny how we are all from the same country and can’t understand one another?” His lips turn up into a crooked smile—the same crooked smile that made my heart melt all those years ago.

  Laughing at Jackson’s poke at Southern speak, I think back to a time when things were always this easy between us.

  “What can I get you two today?” the waitress asks.

  “Definitely coffee and two slices of pecan pie for now.” Turning to me, he says, “I hope that you didn’t mind me ordering for you, Savvy. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. If I overstepped my boundaries, then I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s good. That’s exactly what I would have ordered for myself. Chicory coffee and Tookie’s pecan pie.”

  We both sit in silence for a few minutes. I can’t help but look at Jackson. He was a very handsome boy, and he has turned out to be a handsome man. His hair is still raven black and his eyes are the prettiest color of ocean blue. That’s a deadly combination for most women. We used to tease each other about our hair color, because I have the same black hair. I used to tell him that it was because his dad was the town stud and fathered all of the black-haired children. Little did I know then that what I was saying had some truth to it.

  “What are you thinking about, Savvy? You seemed to drift far away for a moment.” His eyes are looking at me
with concern.

  “I was thinking about a lot of things. You haven’t changed much, Jackson. You still look the same, only more mature. The years have been good to you.”

  “I would say the same to you, Savvy. You look stunningly beautiful, even though you’ve had tears running down your face all day.” He reaches up with his thumb and proceeds to wipe something from under my eye.

  For all I know, I could resemble a raccoon right now. I pull out my compact to make sure that I’m not in too bad of shape. The girl looking back in the mirror looks tired and sad, but her makeup is still in check.

  “It’s been a tough day. I was shocked to see you step out of the car today. I knew you were here because I ran into your brother at the airport, but seeing you was still a surprise. Is Jefferson still dating Donna?”

  “Yes he is, although I don’t know what he sees in her. He called me the minute you walked out of the airport to let me know that you were in town.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “I asked him to call me if he saw you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we have a lot of unfinished business, Savvy.”

  “Oh, Jackson, it was a long time ago. It’s old news.”

  “Is it? I think about it all of the time. I think about you all of the time. I had no idea where you were for years. Then Jefferson started dating Donna and I learned that you were in Colorado. I’ve been trying to get the goods on you for a long time. When Dani died, I knew you would come here. I came because of you, not because of Dani. I liked Dani, but we never would have been friends if it weren’t for you. As for Sterling, he was always an ass. He’s never been faithful and probably never will be. It’s not in his genetic makeup.”

  I look into Jackson’s eyes as he says the words “genetic makeup.”