Southern Seduction

by Alcorn, N. A.

  Hannah’s eyes bounced back and forth between us, but her lips stayed tightly sealed. She didn’t know where we were going with this, but she knew she didn’t want to mess it up.

  “Now I was a little late taking action, and the plan was already underway by the time I got here, but I’m hoping you’ll be a little lenient with her and give me a chance to serve up a little community service and a hard earned lesson instead of pressing charges,” my man negotiated like a pro.

  I may have started this idea, but I was glad he was the one running with it. He seemed to have a much better handle on a way to clear all of us than I did.

  Of course, being a member of law enforcement probably helped with that. Clearly, we had a lot of talking to do.

  When I finally managed to pull my eyes off of Miller’s cute face and rockin’ physique, I transferred my observations, switching them over to completely platonic ministrations, onto the man in the robe.

  Looking into the Mayor’s eyes, a gold-flecked brown surrounded by laugh lines and life experience, I knew we were fucked. He wasn’t buying a word of this.

  We were all going to spend the night in jail, have a record, and Miller was probably going to lose his job.

  Baby seals were probably going to get clubbed, too. Or kittens murdered. Something outrageously bad.

  Like Friends was going to get cancelled again.

  Uneasiness churned in my stomach, and I could feel the edges of nausea start to bite into the fringe of my consciousness. My stance swayed slightly, and I fought hard against the urge to toss my cookies all over the place.

  Oh my God, please don’t let me get sick. I seriously doubted ralphing all over myself was going to help anything at this point.

  “Step inside, Miss Kapernack,” Mayor Klein demanded, his face stern and commanding in a way that spoke volumes as to why he was the leader of our little town.

  I wasn’t really sure if he wanted me to climb through his window like the rest of the criminals, but leaving my post and heading for the front door didn’t seem practical.

  So I hefted myself up, using whatever part of Seth I could find as a step stool, ignoring his muted grunt of discomfort.

  Served him right.

  Once I was inside, the Mayor spoke again. “Take a seat on the couch, all of you.”

  We did as we were told, obviously prepared to take the consequences of our actions like adults. You know, except for the whole trying to cover it up with a crazy ass story thing.

  Even Hannah seemed ready to reap what she had sewn. Grudgingly, I was gaining some respect for her too.

  As I settled onto the plush cushions next to Mill, he squeezed my knee softly and then murmured, “I’m sorry,” at an equally low volume.

  Yeah, that part was pretty clear.

  I wanted to give him some reassurance, but we were kind of in the middle of a situation, so I figured I would wait until we weren’t getting our asses handed to us by the Mayor of Winslow.

  Miller

  “Here’s the deal,” Mayor Klein started frankly. “I think you all know that I know your story is bullshit.”

  Oh here we go.

  “But I also think we know that what you were doing was not in any way acceptable.”

  Shit. That was sounding a little better. Or worse. It could go either way.

  None of us wanted to disrespect the Mayor by taking our eyes off of him, but I could tell we were all looking at each other with a little bit of “what the fuck” in our peripheral vision.

  Of course, it didn’t really matter at this point. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, and there would be no changing it.

  Zoey and I definitely needed a Ground Hog Day scenario where we could go back and avoid stabbing ourselves in an effort to prevent the harm for one another.

  “But you’re in luck,” he continued, and at that I couldn’t help but shift my eyes to Zoey just once, really quickly.

  Holy shit.

  We all took deep breaths, the couch sinking with the added weight from our tension release.

  Though, I was a little worried it was a trap. That being in luck wasn’t the good omen that it seemed to be.

  “See, I’m in a good mood tonight,” he explained, moving his eyes directly to me and largely ignoring the women on the couch.

  That was my only first clue that shit was about to get real.

  “I got a phone call from an old friend. A very good friend. I figure it has to be some kind of sign that I reconnect with a man I’ve missed for twenty-five years-”

  Holy, holy shit.

  “-on the very same night that his son breaks into my house.”

  Cue cars screeching to a halt, alley cats hissing, and Scooby Doo perking up for a double take in the corner.

  Shock and awe were in full swing, and if there had been a live audience, gasps would have been overwhelming in the playback.

  Zoey and Hannah’s heads both whipped in my direction, all respect for the Mayor forgotten at this point.

  I widened my eyes and shrugged infinitesimally because, shit, I didn’t know that the man my father had spoken so fondly of was the fucking Mayor.

  How interesting. And really fucking convenient.

  Seriously, how lucky that I had told him to reach out. And that he had listened.

  Turning back to the man in charge, Zoey attempted to make our way back into the land of good graces. “Thank you, Sir-”

  Only to be cut off by the Mayor’s zero tolerance bullshit policy.

  “Save it.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Zoey nodded, a teeny tiny smirk, bringing out the cute little star at the corner of her eye.

  “You want know what we did on our prank night, all those years ago?” he asked me directly, which led me to believe the “we” included my dad.

  I didn’t really have an answer, and the girls had decided to defer to me, so we just nodded our affirmation. A cute little line of bobbled heads.

  It was a little sad to be reduced to this and still claim to be a man, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is lose the tough exterior.

  “Me and Robbie, we got one of those detachable police lights, drove just outside of town, and pretended to pull people over. You wanna talk about stupid. Now that was stupid.”

  Um, yeah it was.

  Fuck. I was seriously having trouble rationalizing the Robbie he was talking about with the Rob Laughlin that I knew.

  I guess he really had been a different man.

  “The point is, pretty much all people have to be taught lessons at one point or another, kids. The difference is between the people who learn them and the people who don’t. Be the ones who learn.”

  We all nodded in unison again, our skill set obviously becoming substantially limited when faced with an unprecedented situation.

  “Now get the fuck out of my house.”

  We scurried like rats in the sewer, scrambling off of the couch and looking furiously between the door and the window.

  “Use the door,” he commanded. And we obeyed quickly, keeping our eyes straight ahead and moving in a single fine line led by yours truly.

  I briefly considered turning around and apologizing, but honestly, that would probably just serve to piss Mayor Klein off.

  As soon as we cleared the door, I turned my attention to Zoey, expecting to straighten things out between us, or at the very least, get yelled at. But she apparently had other items on her to do list.

  “Where is that little weasel?”

  “Huh?” I asked, as I followed her quickly off the steps, watching her case the yard looking for her target as we went.

  It wasn’t long before she took off running, tackling somebody to the ground just passed an alcove of trees at the end of the driveway.

  Fuck.

  Would the antics of tonight never end?

  “I had just started to respect you, you little piss ant,” she whisper-yelled at the kid she was on top of. After closer inspection, I identified him as Seth Trammel.
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br />   “What?!” Seth asked from his place underneath her. I’m sure he was enjoying being between her legs with a view of her tits, but there was no way I was getting involved in this one. I was already in the dog house.

  “You couldn’t man up and join the rest of us inside?” Zoey demanded hotly.

  “I figured Hannah was covered. No way Miller would let anything happen to either of you. You saw the way he jumped inside the house to protect her when he thought she was you.”

  “Yeah, I did,” Zoey agreed before climbing off of him, grabbing a handful of his shirt, and forcing him to pick himself up off of the ground. “You and me, Seth. We’re going to be friends. You need someone like me around to teach you to be a man.”

  “What do you know about being a man?” Seth asked incredulously, and if you asked me, unwisely.

  Zoey’s hands shot out in unison and locked onto his nipples twisting and pulling in one of the worst purple nurples I’d ever witnessed.

  Seth howled in pain and dropped to his knees, his opinion on Zoey’s authority on manhood no doubt pulling a 180.

  The sympathy pains I felt made me move my hands to my chest, but it wasn’t enough to stop the ill-timed chuckle from escaping the confines of my throat.

  Zoey’s hair whipped around in an arc and her eyes locked on mine with a fiery menace that was so damn hot, I almost came in my pants.

  In that moment I knew, Seth was just the warm up.

  And she was coming for me next.

  Zoey and I walked in silence the whole way to my truck.

  For me, I was gathering my words, preparing an apology that I thought would be worthy of my fuck ups.

  For her, I didn’t know what it was about. I didn’t know if she had forgiven me or if she was plotting my murder.

  I figured it probably wasn’t murder, since we had just gotten done getting our speech from Mayor Klein, but I had really screwed up. Maybe she was thinking it was worth the jail time.

  Especially after what she did to Seth. I figured whatever she had planned for me was at least two times worse.

  When we stopped at the door on the passenger side, I knew it was time to fall on my sword.

  “Zoey-” I started, just in time to be cut off.

  “You don’t give a person very much time to think, you know that?” she accused rightfully. “I decided not to be a complete moron way before you gave me credit for.”

  Yeah, as if it wasn’t bad enough that I had undercut her choices, overreacted, and behaved like a complete child, I also completely underestimated her, believing she had succumbed to the absolute worst case scenario until I was very dramatically proven wrong.

  “You’re right,” I agreed, reaching out for her hand and pulling her body into mine. “I was a real douche. You can punch me in the junk if you want to.”

  She considered it briefly, but in the end, she gave me a reprieve. “I don’t want to punch you in your junk.”

  I breathed an audible sigh of relief.

  “The throat, maybe,” she clarified with a jaunty tilt of her head, her smile pulling her supple lips up easily.

  “All I can ask is that you give me a chance, Zo.”

  She studied me long enough that I cracked, pleading, “Just one more chance. One last night to turn it all around.”

  “Don’t worry, Mill. I know you’re a man because I saw your dick for myself. That alone means you’re going to make mistakes.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. But I promise, I learn my lessons.”

  My back slammed against the truck with the force of her assault, her lips crushing against mine, tying us together, and making my wish come true like a lucky penny.

  She was going to give us a chance, and that was all I could ask for.

  “You better tell Penelope you’re taken,” she said in between kisses, moving her mouth lower to work the column of my throat.

  As she pulled away I told her, “I’m pretty sure she’s going to be pissed. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or in this case, starved.”

  “That same thing applies to human females,” she explained, leaning into me and poking a slim finger into my chest.

  “Come feed them with me? Tell her you’re going to be around?” I begged anxiously, willing my time with her to keep going.

  She quirked her lips to one side, pretending to think it over for several seconds, the toe of her boot tapping in time with her, “Hmm.”

  “Okay. But only if I get to tip her if she starts giving me attitude.”

  She’d never pull it off on her own, but if it kept Zoey around, I’d tip Penelope myself.

  “Deal.”

  The End

  A huge thanks to my mom for reading and giving me feedback during the process. She’s my number one fan, always, and I feel the same way right back.

  Thanks to all of the other authors in this set, the other girls of IRAC, my Oreos, and everyone else who lends a listening ear or a supportive shoulder. I could name SO many people, but I’m absolutely certain I would forget someone and I have a limited amount of space.

  Likewise, I want to thank all of the blogs out there. The ones that support me regularly and the ones who have yet to discover my work. Bloggers work so hard, and most of us authors would be nothing without them.

  The readers. You guys really rock my world. Romance readers are loyal, supportive, enthusiastic, and the most fun, vivacious group of people I’ve ever experienced. I’m honored that you take the time to read my books. Thank you.

  Lastly, my husband and son. They sacrifice the most and offer constant support. I love you.

  “Ryder, do you have any questions?”

  I gape at my Uncle Zeke in a sort of shocked horror. Do I have any questions? He might as well just have asked me if moonshine will knock you on your ass. Fuck yeah I have questions! It’s a struggle to stay calm, and I am literally forcing myself not to start yellin’.

  When I was two, my parents died in an accident coming home from a church social. From that moment on, my granddaddy raised me, and I cannot believe the man who taught me everything that I know about life has thrown me under the wheels of a bus like this.

  “Yeah, actually, I have a few. How is it even legal that granddaddy thought it was okay to put a stipulation in his will stating that if I don’t get married within sixty days of his death, the family ranch will be sold to the highest bidder?”

  My granddaddy’s lawyer—and my honorary uncle—Zeke Bartholomew, shakes his head at me as if my questions are somehow disappointing. “Son, I assure you, it’s legal. Your granddaddy was just makin’ sure that you had a family once he was gone. He wanted you to have the love of a good woman.”

  Throwing my hands in the air in a gesture of disgust I snap, “Jesus Christ—if that was the issue, then why didn’t he just leave me a membership to e-harmony? He knew damn well that I have no desire to get married anymore. Can anyone really goddamn blame me after everything that happened? For God’s sake, I’d rather run through town with my balls out than get into a relationship! This is goddamn crazy!”

  Smacking his withered hand down onto the scarred wood of his desk, Uncle Zeke gives me a stern look. “Now you listen to me, boy—I will not tolerate disrespect. Just because I’m older’n dirt doesn’t mean I can’t take you. If you take the Lord’s good name in vain one more time, you’ll be stuffed and mounted on my wall.”

  Let me tell you—Uncle Zeke doesn’t joke around about his stuffed trophies. His office walls are covered with animal heads, and it’s a little freaky to have fifty sets of glass eyes taking in your every move. From the deer heads, the bear, right on down to the mountain lion that’s mounted behind his desk, the room is an ode to taxidermy. Raising my hands in a show of surrender I reply, “I’m sorry, Uncle Zeke.”

  Nodding at me, he smirks. “That’s what I thought, you little whippersnapper. Don’t forget who taught you most of what you know. You need to understand that your granddaddy took this seriously, and he would want you to take it
seriously as well. I suggest you spend less time worryin’ about why he did it and start focusin’ on how you can comply with his final orders.”

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him to go fuck himself, that I’m a man who doesn’t take orders, but I’ve been raised to respect my elders and I know my granddaddy would roll over in his grave if I cuss out Uncle Zeke. Along with the third member of their trio, Jonah Hammond, they were best friends for their entire lives. I know Uncle Zeke and Uncle Jonah almost as well as I had known granddaddy, and I know that if I give Zeke shit, I’ll regret it. Taking a deep breath, I try to harness my frustration.

  “I’m trying to focus Uncle Zeke, but all I can see is that granddaddy got a burr up his butt and decided to make this ridiculous stipulation. We only knew his condition had worsened and that he was dyin’ for less than seven days. When did he get this idea? Why did he decide to run with it? And where in the blazes did he even think I would go to look in this town to find a wife that he’d approve of?”

  I don’t miss that my question causes Uncle Zeke to sit up straighter and smile. “I don’t know where he got the idea or why he put it into motion, but it’s all on the up and up. As for where you’ll be findin’ yourself a filly—consider this your lucky day, Ryder. You don’t have to look at all. Your granddaddy had someone all picked out for you. He loved this girl like she was his own kin and he knew that you would have a good future with her.”

  Grimacing, I bite the inside of my cheek so hard that I taste blood. Judging by his words and the look on his face, I’m pretty damn sure that I’m about to be hog-tied and married off to Mary Jane Bartholomew, Uncle Zeke’s granddaughter. Now don’t get me wrong, Mary Jane is a perfectly beautiful and lovely girl but, to me, she’s about as exciting as Amish dancers at a bachelor party.

  Still… maybe that isn’t such a bad thing, all things considered. I have nothing left to give anyone else, and I know that I never will. Everything that I am, everything that I have, I gave up a long time ago. I’ve been wildly and overwhelmingly in love with one person ever since the moment that I understood what love is, but that all went to shit with no warning. If the love that I believed in, down to my very bones, could implode with no warning—then anything can happen. I never want to go down that road again. Three months later, the scars are still as raw as if the wound was just acquired. If I have to take a wife, having it be someone that I have no emotion for is the only option.