Horizon

by Christie Rich

  He laughed. “Little girl, you don’t know the first thing about what you’re messing with here.”

  “Bring it on, Neanderthal.”

  This time there was no laughing. He let go of me and strode toward the door without once looking back. Every muscle in my body screamed at me to run after him. Part of me wanted to make him see he wasn’t going to push me around, but part of me wanted to remove this wedge between us. I’d come to care for him, to even rely on him, yet I couldn’t make myself go after him. In the end I stayed where I was. When Jett reached the door, Bastion snorted, blowing snot all over my hair.

  I whirled around. “What is your problem?”

  Silence.

  I glared at her. “Fine. You don’t want to talk to me; I’m good with that, but you’d better get one thing straight. I didn’t ask for the pleasure of owning you, and the only reason I’m not shipping your uppity butt back to Eldrea is because Styx needs you.”

  With that, I huffed out of the stables. Her whinnies echoed around the castle grounds, following me like a haunted dream.

  I marched my way back to my room, trying to figure out why Jett had changed his mind, all the while trying not to feel abandoned once again. What could he possibly think he was doing? It was clear to me that Bastion couldn’t stand me, and the worst part about it was I had no idea why.

  As usual, Nicco stood at the ready to let me into my prison. I didn’t even have the heart to look at him this time, and he thankfully didn’t say a word.

  The first thing I saw was Zach pacing in front of the window. Seemed as though our moods were synced, which offered no comfort. Like it or not, I needed to talk to him. The only problem was I had no idea what to say.

  He glanced at me, but continued his trek along the outward wall. “There is much I need to explain to you,” he said. “Please have a seat, lo—um, would you please sit down, Rayla?”

  I hoped he didn’t see my cringe at his almost use of his pet name for me: Love. The term didn’t apply to us anymore. I glided onto the cushion closest to the door, keeping my options open.

  The uncomfortable silence hovered around me, highlighting just how much I needed to find a way to get out of here. Now that I didn’t want Zach in a romantic way, I found it difficult to do nearly anything around him because he’d made no qualms in letting me know his feelings hadn’t changed. If anything they’d gotten stronger.

  After a few more moments of pacing, he faced me. “The first thing you need to understand is I am the only person who has ever successfully evicted Ainessa from a mind forge. The second thing is she had not forged a real connection to my mind when she took my body over.”

  I stared at him, attempting to understand. Even if what he was saying was true, how did that matter? “She still made you do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise.” As I said the words, they rang false. Taylor had told me no one could be compelled to do something they wouldn’t ever do which meant Zach had the capability to attempt to control me through force.

  He clasped his hands behind his back. “She did, but it isn’t how you are thinking.”

  “How do you know what I’m thinking?” I snapped at him, partly because I was worried he’d found a way into my mind, and partly because I was sick of his secrets. Why didn’t he just come out with it? If he had a good explanation for what happened, why not bypass the fluff?

  He cocked his head at me. “Words don’t matter all that much. I’ve studied humans long enough to tell you a few things about yourself right now.” I huffed but he pushed forward. “For instance, you’ve chosen the farthest seat from me to indicate how uncomfortable you are. You are also leaning away from me, giving me the sign you are not available. You’re tone is edgy, signifying a need for escape. Your heart rate is abnormally high, indicating either you are turned on by me or afraid.” He smiled. “I’ll assume the latter.”

  I smirked at him. “You done yet, Sherlock?”

  He grinned. “Not quite. Even though you have not told me, I know you have had sexual relations with Heath.”

  My eyes bulged. What, did I smell different? Every muscle inside me hardened. “How is that any concern of yours? For that matter, where do you get off? I only agreed to bond with you because I thought it was the only way to save my world and yours, by the way.” When he tried to interrupt, I cut him off. “I used to have feelings for you, but those have dried up.” I pointed between the two of us. “This is a business arrangement, nothing more. You need to accept that.”

  His features might as well have been made of marble from the stare he unleashed on me. “Business,” he spat in the hardest tone I’d ever heard from him. “I’ve sacrificed everything I stand for to have you here with me. And I’ll be damned if I’ll let any man, underlord or chairman, have you.” His eyes honed in on mine, making me shiver from the intensity. “You belong to me.”

  I stood up. “We’re done here.” As quick as I could, I marched toward the bedroom.

  Zach zipped up to me and caught my arm, turning me to face him. “That’s where you are wrong. We are just beginning. All other relationships you’ve had do not matter. That’s what I was trying to tell you. What matters is us.”

  I yanked on my arm, but he wouldn’t let go. “You’re delusional,” I said. “You have access to my power, but you’re not getting any other part of me. Got it?”

  He raised a brow. “We shall see.”

  I shook my head at him. “Don’t make me hate you.”

  “Hate is it? Not too long ago you begged me to bond with you.”

  I cringed. “I was stupid back then. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I didn’t know what that meant.” I tugged on my arm again. My voice came out feral. “Now, let go of me.”

  “Never,” he said, his eyes wild.

  “I don’t want you.”

  “I don’t care. This isn’t about what you want.”

  My chest constricted with my labored breaths. I’d never considered that Zach could be a bully, but here I was facing his wrath. “You may have gotten Faine to warm up to you over time, but that’s not happening here.” Instead of getting angry at me, his odd blue eyes grew distant at the mere mention of his previous bondmate.

  “Things change.” He shrugged. “I’ll change your mind.”

  He wasn’t getting it. How was I going to make him get it? “What if you could have her back? What if she was out there somewhere that you could access her? What would you do to get to her?”

  His voice dipped low. “That isn’t possible.”

  “But what if it was?” I prodded.

  He locked his eyes onto mine. “I’d rearrange the earth.”

  I nodded. In the past, his declaration would have devastated me. Now, it was exactly what I needed. “So how can you expect me to just give up on the man I love, when, if you had the chance, you would do anything to have the woman you still long for?”

  He let go of me so fast I stumbled backward. “I don’t want to hear those words from you.”

  “I don’t care what you want. It’s the truth. I love Heath. It’s real, not some compulsion. It’s love, and I’m going to do anything in my power to get him back. Do you understand now? I’m not going to change my mind, no matter how many times you try to charm me, influence me, even compel me; I’ve had the real thing, and your efforts won’t work.”

  Humiliation registered on his face before he barged out of the room without another word. For a moment, I gloated for getting in the last word. But then, after I thought about what I’d actually said, I sunk to my knees. I’d told him my plan. I’d laid it all out for him. Not details, mind you, but he knew my resolve.

  I stared at the door, willing him to come back. When that didn’t happen after a few minutes, my whole body trembled. What had I done?

  What was keeping Zach from giving me over to Valen? It’d be easy for him. The hurt in his eyes had been telling. I’d cut him deep with my words.

  But I couldn’t pretend. I couldn’t let him go on thi
nking he had a chance with me. It would be cruel for me to lead him on, especially after all we’d been through together.

  With determination settling into my heart, I stood up. Being a wimp wasn’t going to help me. If I was ever going to get out of here with my mind intact, I needed to practice. I needed control. What I really needed was a new plan.

  *****

  The next few days were awkward to say the least. Each night Valen invited Zach and I to dinner, and each night we both pretended everything was fine. Thing was, I doubted I was that convincing. I’d taken extra efforts to show Zach affection. I started thinking of him as my big brother and it helped a little, yet every time we made it into our room, he went straight for the closet. He’d set up a little sleeping nook under a rather long rack of dress shirts.

  Guilt ate at me more than I wanted to admit, but I’d already done the damage. It wasn’t like I could make it up to him. My feelings hadn’t changed. I still wanted Heath, and the more time I spent away from him the more desperate I became to have him back in my life.

  I wanted to run my own destiny, not accept the burden the fae and rebels had chained to my back. I’d been fighting for my freedom since the moment the fae found me.

  More than once I’d considered running, but if I gave into that impulse, I’d end up back here as Valen’s bondmate. I had no doubt he wouldn’t care how I felt or what I wanted. Each time I saw her, his current bondmate looked weaker, ashen even. It was only a matter of time before he would take her back to the mortal realm. I’d made several attempts to see her and was turned away every time. I had to figure out how to get out of here before that happened.

  Zach claimed not to care, but he respected the distance I placed between us. He hadn’t made a move on me, either, which was no small blessing.

  We continued our training sessions, too. He was extremely formal, and I was distant, but we seemed to be making progress. I’d learned to conceal a few trees by deflecting space. It was a weird technique that required a lot of focus. I basically had to take a mental image of the surrounding area and superimpose a compilation onto the spot I wanted to hide. Zach said it got easier with time, but I didn’t know how that would be possible.

  We hadn’t discussed our blow-up, and I was grateful. I couldn’t always count on him to do the right thing, which was what I had been doing this whole time. At any moment, he could get sick of trying and turn on me or hand me over to Valen.

  At some point we were going to have to deal with this, but right now, I was barely keeping my mind focused enough to keep people out. The last thing I wanted was to ever give our dear leader a snapshot into my mind, no matter how brief.

  Once again we were on our way to dine with the man. He’d sent over this really pretty green gown for me to wear. It was delicate with iridescent beads sewn into floral patterns across the bodice with a trail of strategically placed vines that would barely cover parts of me I’d rather not display to anyone other than Heath. The rest of the dress was this side of sheer. I refused to put it on and sent it to his bondmate. It was probably stupid of me to be so defiant, but considering what had happened, I was still a bit leery of accepting fae gifts of any kind.

  Even if I hadn’t thought there was some kind of string attached to that dress, I wouldn’t have worn it. Not only was it completely too revealing for my tastes, it was the thought of putting something on my body that Valen had imagined me in that really creeped me out.

  I’d gone over the first time I met the man a hundred times, at least, and I still couldn’t reconcile the docile man with the kind smile against the one now greeting me. He was the same but different, yet I couldn’t figure out how.

  “Rayla, how lovely you look,” he said, as he always did whenever he saw me. He tugged on my hand, pulling me closer to him and whispered not even an inch from my ear, “I had hoped you’d wear the gown I had fashioned for you.”

  I could have thrown up right there if it hadn’t been for how stunned I was at his brazen attentions. Zach pulled on my other arm, and I pushed back from Valen, trying to keep the smile on my face from cracking. “Didn’t fit,” I said. “I thought there was some sort of mistake, so I sent it to your bondmate.”

  His eyes crept over every inch of me. “I’ll have to reprimand the tailor, then. I was sure the measurements were right.” He smiled, a certain light dancing behind his eyes. “And didn’t you know I no longer have a bondmate.”

  I swallowed past the knot of anxiety in my throat. The strain in my voice was hard to miss. “How awful for you.”

  “On the contrary,” he said easily. “I am now able to pursue other courses.”

  He grinned until Zach put his arm around me. His expression hardened even further when Zach’s hand slid along the line of my shoulder and down to my waist, hugging my body the entire way until his hand rested just above my hip.

  The two men stared the other down, but Zach didn’t flinch. After a moment Valen left us. Zach’s hand stayed at my waist as he guided me toward the table. I inched closer to him. “Thank you,” I said, hoping he knew how much I appreciated what he’d just done.

  All I got in response was a hearty grunt.

  Dinner dragged, and I couldn’t stop myself from going over events of the evening and those I’d had before with the council chairman. Valen was testing the waters. He either knew about the trouble between Zach and me, or he was trying to make some. I didn’t like either alternative.

  Courtesans came and went from our nightly dinner engagements, but Zach and I had become a permanent fixture. The worst part was, I was about to start seeing Valen on a regular basis at court.

  My first real session began tomorrow afternoon. I just wished I could see an upside to being there. The only thing that had me partially excited was Tabitha was rumored to attend. With any luck, I’d get some good news.

  *****

  Morning came way too fast. I’d gotten used to staying in bed half the day, but when Zach came out of the closet before the sun had even risen, demanding I get up for training, it was pretty apparent today would be long.

  I wanted to argue, but thought better of it. Zach had been too distant for my liking. Especially considering Valen’s stunt last night, I had to keep him close. I just wished there was a good way to appeal to his desire to thwart his sister against my desire to eventually reunite with Heath. I was sure a bargain could be made, but I didn’t exactly have the best negotiation skills.

  When I was ready, Zach led me to the stables. It had been a long time since I’d flown, so anticipation lit up my insides. I could use a distraction and being able to touch heaven definitely qualified.

  I matched Zach step for step, but I had to skip a few times to keep up with him. “Where are we going?” I asked after a while of walking.

  “I’ve been neglecting Styx as you have neglected Bastion. Although we are not home, it is time for us to settle into a routine. We’ll take our time traveling the outskirts of Lombarda. I don’t dare take you any further, but Styx isn’t going to be happy with having to fly laps. Takes the fun out of it.”

  “Zach?” I asked, not sure how best to ask him this.

  “You may always tell me anything, Rayla. I sense your trepidation. Just get it out.”

  I nodded, happy he was at least saying more than one word to me. “About today. What if I mess up? What if someone gets me angry and I do something stupid?”

  He didn’t even glance at me. “You are capable of controlling yourself. Just do it.”

  Well, that was helpful. What I really needed to do was tell Zach I was sorry for hurting him. I wasn’t sorry for what I’d said. I’d meant every word, but I never wanted to cause him pain.

  “I—I wanted to thank you for being understanding,” I started.

  He stopped cold. “Don’t.” His head shook as if in emphasis. “Don’t give me the speech.”

  “Speech?”

  He rolled his eyes, and it looked out of place on him. “You know, the ‘I didn’t mean to hur
t you talk.’ That was where you were going, right?”

  “We’ve got to discuss this,” I said.

  “What is there to say? You’ve made your point clear. You know where I stand. I want you. You don’t want me. What more is there than that?”

  “We’ve got to work together.”

  “We have been.”

  “But I don’t like how this is between us. I want to be your friend.”

  “I’ve got enough friends, thanks. Besides, we’re business partners, remember? We don’t have to be friends.”

  He quickened his step, and I let him walk ahead of me. This wasn’t going to turn out good. How could it? I’d spurned him. Not only that, I’d attacked his ego.

  I was a good twenty yards behind him when he entered the stables. Before I could even reach the door, Styx let out a whinny so loud it rocked my eardrums. His angry voice flowed into my mind not long after. “I don’t care what is going on between the two of you, Bastion and I have not been out for days.”

  I found that a little odd since I’d passed three stable hands on the way into this wing. Yet, considering no other animals were anywhere to be seen, maybe the servants were afraid. Why wouldn’t they at least let the two pegusi roam the hills for a while? Since I was the one holding the party up, I hurried inside. I’d snagged a couple of apples from the basket in our room and offered one to Bastion first.

  As usual, she glared at me, so I held my hand out to Styx. He snapped the apple off my palm so fast, I was sure he took a piece of skin.

  “Good to see you too,” I said, rubbing my palm before I patted behind his ear.

  A snort was his immediate answer. “What have you done to her?” he asked.

  I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  His obsidian eyes bored into me. “Bastion, she won’t talk to me.”

  I scoffed. “You have a better chance of getting that question answered than I do. She’s never said a word to me.”

  Zach walked over to us. “What’s going on?”

  While I was trying to figure out what to say to him, Styx went for the apple in my other hand. This time, he nipped my pinky. “Hey!” I hugged my hand to my chest. “I need that, you know.”