Zombie Theorem: Dark Times Book Five

by James Wallace

  “Alright squad, I want two men roving patrols. Apache, you stay here, I might need your Humvee. Moonie bring the Big Baby down here and position to our rear for security, DP Two go with him. Any gripes?”

  No one spoke up or raised a hand. “Alright move out,” I climbed from the hood and motioned for Gillian to join me.

  We took a little walk out of ear shot of everyone. “I am on a little mission and will be heading north after seeing these people properly evacuated. I have some room on my team for a woman like you, would you be willing to join up with us?”

  She cocked her head and I watched as she quickly went through the pros and cons of joining forces with my team. “First, I need some information here mate. What is going on back home on my island nation? Is the Queen safe?”

  “Last report I sat in on, said that MI6 is still functioning, they have connected with their Navy and some Royal Marines who had not given up power to Ridder. They secured Liverpool and the surrounding coastal towns. They say that the Queen is still alive, but her son and her two grandsons did not make it. I have no info on Ireland, but Scotland is a giant black hole. No information coming in from them,” I placed my hand on Gillian’s shoulder.

  “Oh, sweet Jaysus, if the Queen is still alive and in power then we will rebuild. Any news on London? My mate Rosco lives there. When I got back, I was planning on leaving the service into retirement so, we could move to my home town outside Belfast called Bangor,” she searched my face for news.

  “I have no more good news for you Commander, London fell quickly. Next chance I get I will try and get you the use of my Sat phone, so you call back home. That’s all I can offer right now,” I looked deep into her eyes and for a moment saw pain and the real her.

  Gillian pushed an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “Call me Gilly, I never liked titles. If you loan me one of those wee, pretty rifles and a pistol I would be chuffed to follow you,” she gave me a genuine smile. “What’s our objective?”

  I had to seriously think through whether or not to explain the situation to her. I decided fuck it, might as well throw all in. “I am on a Presidential order, to locate his wife and father, and rescue them from Ridder’s clutches.”

  Gilly studied me for a bit before cocking her eyebrow up. “I get that. If I had his power, I might do that also. In addition, he holds the highest office, and with his family in danger he cannot make good decisions. Alright you leveled with me, let’s do this.”

  As Gilly finished speaking my ear piece came to life with a new voice. “Lancelot, this is Arthur, are you picking us up? Over.”

  I pushed the PTT and spoke. “Roger Arthur, you are coming in five by five. Over.”

  “Lancelot, I need to verify you are who you say you are. What is the name Iron Man calls you? Over.”

  “Arthur, that would be, Sasquatch. Over.”

  “I really want to know why he calls you that Lancelot. Over.”

  “You will find out very soon. Over.”

  “We are coming in from your west, do you have a marked area for us to land? Over.”

  I turned to Johnson who was standing nearby. “Do you have any smoke?”

  “I got three blue ones.”

  “Go find somewhere flat the choppers can land on and mark them.”

  Johnson nodded his head and took off running to the north side of the freeway and started chucking canisters down the length of open pavement. “Roger Arthur, marking with blue smoke on open freeway pavement. Think you can make that work? Over.”

  “Flat open pavement? That sounds tricky Lancelot, I will see what we can do. We have an escort consisting of Apaches, they are going to fly over first and verify we are clear before we come in. I suggest not pointing a gun at them. Over.”

  “Roger, no pissing off the mean scary black helicopters. Over.”

  Just then three of the said Apaches popped up from behind a low rise and flew by very slowly. The M230 chain guns slung underneath the cockpits tracked with the pilot’s head as they checked out the area and people below. If they had an inkling to kill us, it would be a massacre with those guns chewing us up with 30mm rounds. The lead chopper slowed down and hovered near me. The pilot threw me a salute and rocketed off back in the direction they appeared from. In moments four Osprey and five Chinooks came over the rise and moved toward the blue blowing smoke marking their landing spots. The Chinooks landed first as the Ospreys flew cover with the Apaches off roving the hills.

  “Gilly, get Gunny to move the children toward those choppers quick,” I shouted to her.

  Gilly shot me the bird, smiled, and ran over to the group of kids. She had them moving in very short time up to the open ramps and working with the crew chiefs to load them up. My radio came alive then.

  “Lancelot, Locust, you on this channel? Over.” A bored sounding voice came over the channel.

  “Locust, you by any chance the scary looking Apaches overhead? Over.”

  “That would be us Lancelot. I’m Captain Pfizer, and don’t make any Viagra jokes. We are about a klick to your west, and there is a sizeable horde coming in your direction. They seem a little faster than the dead I have seen before, advise. Over.”

  I checked our progress and found that only half the kids and some adults had lifted off. We still had the Ospreys that needed to come in. This was going to get close. “Wait one Locust, break,” I needed some support. “Moonie, move the Big Baby to our west just on that small hill. We have a fast-moving sizeable horde coming in. Break,” I looked up in the sky and watched the Chinooks gaining altitude as they took off. “Locust, I am sending some support in that direction. Can you slow those dead fucks by feeding them some 30mm lead? Over.”

  “We do not have much ammo left, but what we got is yours Lancelot. Over.”

  “All Patrols, report in. Over.”

  “Hase south of AO is clear. Over.”

  “Hunter, north of AO is clear. Over.”

  “Doc, east of AO. We have dust in the distance, looks like a convoy of vehicles. Are we expecting anyone? Over.”

  “No, observe and report when they get closer. Over.”

  “Roger that. Over.”

  I ran down into the cars and the open section of freeway filled with the Ospreys and checked on our progress. A slight woman came running up to me, sliding the visor of her helmet up. “We have a pallet of goodies, they were for someone else, but Kuppers thought you could use them more.”

  “I always like presents, just drop it here on the ground and load these civvies up. We have a horde of meat bags coming for us, and possibly a convoy of bad people from the east. Get your asses moving.”

  She grabbed my sleeve. “I can’t move that pallet by myself big man, got anyone who can help?”

  I looked inside and saw the pallet. It was bigger than the little woman in front of me. I sighed, slid my SCAR to my back and adjusted the straps. I stalked past her and to the back of the pallet. She quickly loosened and removed the securing straps and signaled me. I put my shoulder to the pallet and dug the tips of my boots against the metal flooring of the Osprey. Nothing happened, the damn thing didn’t even move an inch.

  “Sir, that pallet must weigh a thousand pounds. There is no way one man can…” she broke off her comment as I grunted and pushed harder. The pallet moved an inch, then a foot and as I roared flexing all my muscles, the pallet slid along the floor emitting a loud unpleasant screeching sound, like a teacher scratching her fingernails down a chalkboard. I continued down the ramp and out onto the pavement. I stopped pushing as I reached five feet away from the Osprey and leaned against the pallet to catch my breath. My chest was heaving to gulp as much oxygen as it could. Children streamed past and patted me as they went.

  “Wow, that was like a super hero move,” an eight-year-old little boy commented as he stared at me with wide eyes filled with amazement.

  “Nah, just eat your veggies and never be lazy kid. You can grow up to be my equal, give me a high five,” I dropped my hand to just abo
ve his head. He jumped up in the air and slapped my hand.

  “Alright get on the aircraft buddy,” an explosion got my attention. I let my adrenaline take over. I grabbed up the group of three kids next to me and tossed them up into the Osprey. In a moment, I had my SCAR in my hands as I tracked where the explosion came from.

  “Sasquatch, that convoy coming your way is Ridder. They set up mortars and are attempting to zero in on you guys. We need support, my M4 is not going to do much to these vehicles. Over.”

  “Locust, I have a fire mission for you. Over.” I yelled into my radio.

  “Go Lancelot. Over.”

  “We are taking mortar fire from a suspected Ridder convoy to the east of our position. Leave the zombies I will take care of them. Over.”

  “Roger all Lancelot. Over.”

  The Apaches appeared roaring overhead in a minute and headed east. I bellowed at the kids and civvies to get on the Ospreys as loud as I could. As the Ospreys finished loading they started to rise and move off south. Mighty explosions roared to the east as the Apaches added their fire onto the Ridder patrol. One Osprey was left on the ground. The mighty rotors quiet and unmoving. I rolled my shoulders and cracked my neck, while running over to the open ramp and found the Osprey had no children only a handful of fear-soaked adults. I grabbed the crew chief and screamed at him.

  “Why are you not in the air?” spittle flew from my mouth and landed on the pale crew chief as he tried to shrink away from me.

  “Mechanical failure in the left engine. We can’t get in the air,” he shouted back, his voice wavering.

  “Can you fix it?”

  “No, we don’t have a mechanic on board.”

  “You know you are a big fat target right for these mortars dropping on us?” Just then something slammed into the ground nearby, throwing pavement, cement, and dirt geysering into the air.

  He was wild eyed and started shaking. “For fuck sakes, abandon the Osprey. Get your pilots and these people off this thing. There is a school bus over there,” I pointed to a yellow school bus twenty yards away. “Get inside and keep your heads down. I’ll get you out of here later. Move it!” my voice was getting hoarse from all the bellowing I was doing.

  The properly cowed civvies and Osprey crew ran past me abandoning their craft. I found Gillian over by the Humvee that Apache was commanding. I made my way over dodging the mortars. I hit the PTT on my radio and called out.

  “Locust, why am I still under mortar fire? Over.”

  “Because the bastards have another column coming up on your south. I am down to two hellfires left, and a dwindling number of rounds for the chain gun, Lancelot. Over.”

  Fuck! I screamed in my head. Ridder was hitting me from the east and south, plus I had zombies coming in on my west flank. I was becoming screwed, which was fine when in the bedroom with Lewis, but not out here with my pants around my ankles. I had to think quickly.

  “Locust, hit the most heavily armed vehicles in the convoys and strafe the mortar squads. I will deal with the rest as they come for us. Over.”

  “Roger that Lancelot, sorry we couldn’t do more for you. If it helps I radioed your problem back to the Reagan, hopefully they can send support. Over.”

  “Good thinking Locust, Lancelot out.” I skidded to a stop at the rear of the Humvee and laid a frown at Gilly.

  “Still happy to be hanging with us?”

  “Oh, feck no you bearded bastard,” she grinned at me. I filled her in on our situation and her smile disappeared. “Great, well at least the wee children got free of this shite. What’s your plan bearded wonder?”

  Apache stuck her head out the window. “I bet if Dan was around he would come up with some out of the air wild idea.”

  I patted Apache’s head. “Yeah. Well he ain’t here right now, so let’s see what my dumb big ass can come up with.”

  “Oh big man, I know you will save our asses. You don’t know how to fail hun. I was just giving you a hard time.”

  “Thanks Apache, first things first. Do you have any heavy weapons for the cupola?” I pointed to the top of her Humvee. “Yeah, kind of. I wanted a .50 but none were available. So Hase stuck an M240 back there, along with enough rounds to choke a horde of zombies.”

  “Tess, get that thing unpacked and set up. If you don’t know how, your sister will walk you through it. You and your sister are going to provide our second line of defense to the Big Baby.”

  The younger looking Apache climbed out of the Humvee and moved to the clam shell hatch. “I can do this Sasquatch. Nothing will get by my sister and me,” I patted the top of her head and hefted the case of the M240 out for her.

  “Gilly, come with me,” I walked away toward the pallet I had pushed off the Osprey. “I need a quick inventory of what the hell is in this pallet.”

  “Great, I joined the Queen’s service to be an inventory specialist I guess. Okay big man, what else after that?”

  I dropped my pack and rummaged through it for my back-up radio and earpiece. I set the channel and input the codes for the scrambler and handed the radio to her. “Call me if you find anything special. And keep your head down, we ain’t being shelled right now but anything can happen. We just lost our air support.”

  “Jaysus, what else is going to go wrong? You fecking monster,” she rolled her eyes and punched me in the bicep. She had a good solid punch in that lithe tall body.

  “Shit who knows, an asteroid? Dragon? Vampires? Maybe that hot piece of ass Bruce Willis will show up and save our bacon. Then sweep me off my feet and take me away from all of this.”

  “You like men, huh?”

  “Some of them,” I winked.

  “Me too dearie, Gerard Butler is my fantasy.”

  “With that accent, oh my God he can take me,” I giggled.

  “Right?” she fanned herself with her hand. “Now stop with the gobshite and get moving.”

  I stepped away from her and hit my radio. “Moonie, report. Over.”

  “We have visual contact on those stinking bastards. You do realize we have limited ammo for the miniguns right? Over.”

  “Stop coming up with excuses old man,” something came to me as I stared at the abandoned Osprey. “Moonie, think you can fix an Osprey? Over.”

  “I can fix anything with enough tools and time. Call me old man again and I’ll break your fucking knees and smash you in the face with the sole of my boot. Over.”

  “Cantankerous, I like it. Moonie, leave the Big Baby with the guys and get your ass down here. Over.”

  “On my way whippersnapper. Over.”

  “Lancelot, this is Locust, we are out of ammo. Looks like one of our Ospreys didn’t get free huh? Over.”

  “Broken engine. I am sticking an old pain in the ass mechanic on it. Thanks for your support. Over.”

  “Sorry we couldn’t do more. Over and out.”

  The Apache’s blew over the top of us and disappeared quickly. The mini guns on the Big Baby opened up then along with the thumps of the MK19 launched grenades delivering their little packages of death. The mini guns only had a nominal amount of reserve ammo left and were not going to last long.

  “All patrols, pull back to the highway. We will circle the wagons and do what we can do. Over.” I called over the radio. I received rogers from the men as they came trickling back in.

  I looked over our position and shook my head. This was going to be a shit sandwich, that we all were going to have to take a bite out of.

  “Oy, big guy!” Gilly’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

  I turned to find her surrounded by metal boxes of ammo, MREs-Meals Ready to Eat, and what looked like a couple of SAW-Squad Automatic Weapons. A plan came to me then. I trotted to her side and checked out the M249 light machine guns.

  “Those are nice, but I thought you might like these,” Gilly pointed to a pile of metal tubes. She picked one up and handed it to me.

  “Great! LAWS antitank weapons, these might just be useful,” I grinned at Gi
lly.

  “You think so huh, numb nuts? Look I have an idea,” she pointed to the line of vehicles. “If we have time, we should move them into a circle and take positions behind them.”

  “That was my plan, circle the wagons little lady,” I tried a western accent and failed badly if the look on Gilly’s face was any indication.

  “You don’t make much of a cowboy, more like a bull.”

  “Moo,” I put my fingers above my head like horns. “No. wait, bulls don’t moo. Well, whatever sounds bulls make is what I meant to do. Digression, thy name is Brian Leeder,” I slapped my forehead and giggled.

  “You do know how weird it is to see someone of your stature, sound like a fifteen-year-old girl when you laugh?”

  “Yeah, but no one except you has ever dared to point it out,” I gave her one of my best scary looks.

  “Point that ugly mug somewhere else, you don’t scare me you wee wanker,” Gilly gave my look right back at me.

  “That look really doesn’t do you justice luv,” Kot spat as she slid over the hood of a parked Ford Focus.

  “Ain’t you a sweet one,” Gilly turned her focus on Kot. “Want to help me, circle the wagons, as your pet Sasquatch calls it?”

  “Sounds perfect, but we should do it away from the Osprey.”

  “Finally, a smart American,” Gilly stuck her tongue out at me.

  “Sorry, but I am not an American luv,” Kot switched accents to her native Russian. “I was born in Podolsk outside of Moscow. I served in Spetsnaz, before escaping and coming to America. I was given a new name and allowed to join the special operations teams, due to my special set of skills.”

  I turned and gawked at Kot. “Well that makes a shit load of sense, from the Russkie comment earlier.”

  Kot switched back to her perfected American accent. “I might as well go ahead and reveal it since with all this zombie nonsense, it doesn’t matter anymore,” she shrugged.