Zombie Theorem: Dark Times Book Five

by James Wallace

  Moonie reached up and put the handgun back into his coveralls and wiped his hands on a rag. “I found the problem, it’s a cracked hydraulic line. I know I can fix it, but the plane has lost a lot of fluid. So, if you can get me some hydraulics fluid I can get this bird in the air within the next twenty minutes,” he showed me the cracked line and then showed a clean new one.

  “I will see what I can do. Be right back,” I trotted over to Hunter. “Can you keep that old bastard safe?”

  “Not a problem, we are far enough away from the zombies, and the two Ridder patrols. The smoke makes a good shield also, but it works both ways, I can’t see anyone coming through it either.”

  “Gotcha, I will call out, next time I come your way. Need anything?”

  “I’m flushed with rounds and got some grenades, as well as a LAW.”

  I flashed him the ok sign and dashed back into the smoke. I jumped back over the car’s hood and skidded to a stop next to Doc. I tilted my chin up in greeting and he gave me a wink in response. I stood at my full height, looking over the line of gunmen as they slowly picked their targets and fired. The entire shoulder of the highway all the way back to the nearest hill was covered in zombies. I picked up my SCAR, took a sight picture on the farthest target I could and fired. A puff of black mist blew out and the zombie fell, I continued like that trying to hit the rear of the horde, expending an entire magazine. I hadn’t missed one shot, I was pretty sure I could still qualify as a sharp shooter in the Marines. It was then an idea came to me. Buses used hydraulic fluid to lower and raise the handicapped in chairs. I stepped back and took in the tactical picture. We looked to be holding our own against the zombies, but something had to give soon.

  I broke for the bus and was stymied at where to find the fluid reserve. I was about to start breaking things when Cupcake appeared at my side staring at me.

  “włochaty chuj, what are you doing staring at this bus? Do you need money for fare?”

  I wrinkled my forehead and thought about the words he had uttered. I had heard them before from a Polish Sergeant. “Did you just call me a hairy dick?”

  Cupcake smiled at me and laughed. “Tak, yes. You speak Polish?”

  “A little bit, I had a hard ass Sergeant in Afghanistan who was Polish. He called us all kinds of names. Great guy, he died while providing cover for his men, so they could retreat. That guy had big jądra, big hairy ones.”

  “Most Polish men do. Now what are you trying to do? You look like a lost fucking puppy,” he chuckled.

  “We need Hydraulic fluid to get the damn Osprey off the ground,” I pointed at the bus and hunched my shoulders. “But, I don’t know anything about that stuff.”

  “I got this Sasquatch, you get back to the children. Only problem I see though, there are different kinds of hydraulic fluid, this may not match the Ospreys.”

  “We will deal with that when we get to that point. Will you need any help?”

  “Go away big man,” Cupcake waved me away.

  I made my way back to the main shooting line and went through another magazine blowing zombies away. It was then someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to find the pilot and co-pilot of the Osprey. They had M4’s in their hands.

  “Can we join in?”

  “One of you needs to go back and protect your passengers. I am working on getting that Osprey fixed, and it will take one of you to get it in the air.”

  The two talked and the co-pilot pushed the pilot back. “I got this Andy,” he turned and started firing.

  I watched the man fire into the zombies and put my hand on his shoulder. He stopped firing and looked up at me. “First you aren’t hitting shit. Second you are a menace with that fucking gun,” I took the M4 away from him and pulled the Benelli shotgun from my back. “Listen, wait till the fuckers come closer and take aim at their legs. We will deal with the heads later.”

  “Roger Major,” he took the shotgun and a small bag of ammo. He lifted the gun and sighted in on a zombie.

  I let the man try his hand with the shotgun and went back to firing. I blew through another twenty round magazine and came off the line to check on our status again. It was then I saw a pack on Doc’s back. I had seen a hard case like that one before, while in country. I tapped him on the shoulder to gain his attention. He gave me a ‘what the fuck do you want’ look.

  “Is that a drone on your back Doc?”

  He looked at me like I was an idiot and then grinned as he blew a large bubble. “Yup,” he took the pack off and handed it over to me.

  I quickly opened it and pulled out the hardened propeller driven drone. I placed it on the ground and switched it on. The power indicator came on, I pulled out the ruggedized tablet and turned it on. The two connected seamlessly and the drone jumped into the air as I commanded. This was an experimental drone, when I left the service, that could travel up to five miles and stay in the air for an hour. The cameras on it were top notch. From HD video to thermal, this baby could see it all. I watched the battle scene around us as the drone climbed higher. I pointed the cameras first toward the zombie horde and got a good idea of how many more were coming. The horde had been dwindled down to half by the Apaches and now by the expert firing from my men and women. I turned the drone and sent it out to hunt down the Ridder convoys. I found a small foot patrol just outside the fire line trying to figure out how to defeat it.

  “Hase,” I called out over the radio.

  “A little busy, send it.”

  “We have a Ridder patrol just on the other side of the dying fire line. Could you give them something to think about? They are at your nine o’clock. Over.”

  I watched him on the drone pull something off his vest and then toss it over the fire. Two explosions ripped through the Ridder patrol, leaving only four standing. Gunfire tore through the fire and ripped into their bodies, causing them to jerk and move like puppets. They fell to the ground and didn’t move again.

  “Good job, you may continue doing what you were doing.”

  Hase looked up to the drone and flipped me off, before going back to firing at zombies. I programmed the drone to fly out two miles in an eastern direction and then hover. As it went, I picked out that one of the Ridder patrols, halted. The Apaches had done a good job of tearing them up. The other was still moving but had also lost a good number of vehicles. I figured we had ten minutes before they were close enough to fire on us, and twelve minutes left of our fire and smokescreen to protect us. I needed to come up with an idea fast.

  I set the drone to do a concentric route around us, pointed the cameras outward, and moved off to check on the Big Baby and Apache’s Humvee. Both were busy sending out hot packages of destruction. Tess was on top of the Humvee using the M240 machine gun to pulverize bodies, the Big Baby’s miniguns had gone quiet, but the MK19 grenade launcher was thumping along. They were the entire reason we had not been overwhelmed yet.

  I came up to Apache as she sat in the driver’s seat. “How’s she doing?” I pointed up to her sister Tess firing the M240 in the cupola.

  “She is doing good, I told her how to reload and the essentials of how to use it. She is going to melt that barrel soon though if we don’t figure something out.”

  I thought about the problem and dropped my head. “One thing after another!” I looked up and saw the barrel slowing turning red.

  I reached up and patted Tess’s arm. She turned her head and looked down at me. I drew my hand under my throat and pointed to the barrel. “You are going to cook a round off and kill yourself. Slow down your shots and allow the gun to cool,” I climbed up onto the Humvee. “Look away little girl, don’t want to ruin you for any other men,” I unzipped my pants and she turned her head away quickly. I emptied my bladder on the barrel and watched it steam away, the ammonia smell was terrible but it did the job. I zipped up and removed a bottle of water from my thigh pocket. I cracked it open and emptied the contents on the gun. “Find some water and make sure you keep this barrel cool. I just met
you and would hate to have to bury ya with only half a face.”

  “Okay Sasquatch, now can I go back to killing these abominations?” Tess tapped the M240 with her brightly blue polished fingernails.

  “You may go back to spreading destruction,” I waved to the gun.

  Tessy rolled her eyes and went back to mutilating the dead, as they continued to come closer. I patted Apache’s shoulder and made my way over to the Big Baby. I waved at Dead Eye, as he continued a rhythmic fire of grenades out into the horde, tearing them into pieces. I felt like everything was going to work out, and that was when one of our buses exploded. Pieces of yellow shrapnel flew through the air, a large fireball expanding out. I dropped to the ground and put my back to one of the Big Baby’s tires, head lowered, hands over my neck.

  The Baby rocked against me, as more explosions rained down around us. Somehow Ridder was hitting us, and this was not Mortars. This felt like an artillery barrage. Fortunately, they had not found our range yet or we would all be dead by now. Just another fucking thing trying to kill us. I climbed up the Big Baby and pulled Dead Eye down by his drag strap. He tried to fight me to stay up and firing, but I could not lose our best sniper. I dragged him to the Humvee and tossed him in the back seat.

  “Apache get the fuck over to the Osprey and back stop Hunter and Moonie, Go!” I yelled as I slammed the door.

  To Apache’s credit, she didn’t hesitate, in seconds, she was pulling away and making a round-about way to the Osprey. I ran to our shooting line and hollered as loud as my voice could go.

  “Un-Ass to the Osprey now!” I kicked Heaven as he tried to keep up his firing.

  Heaven stood up from his crouch and continued to fire as he moved. Still every shot he fired found its target and dropped a zombie. Hase appeared next to him giving time for everyone else to move out. I changed out the magazine in my SCAR and blew through it quickly. A round hit the Big Baby, blowing her into smithereens. I turned my head as the grenades cooked off in the conflagration. Shrapnel pelted off my armor and helmet, I felt a burning sensation on my left bicep and another one on my cheek. I ignored them and continued to fire, as I backed up with Heaven and Hase by my side. I took a quick glance behind me and found that the team had moved out of immediate harm’s way. Things were going tits up fast, we had no other place to move to if Ridder or the dead were able to hit us at the Osprey.

  Hase, Heaven, and I stopped firing at the same time and climbed over the car in our way. We had a small barrier of wrecked cars and falling artillery to protect us from the dead for the moment. I turned and found Hunter on the ground working on someone. I pushed my way over and found the Osprey’s co-pilot on the ground covered in blood. I gave Hunter a “what the fuck” look.

  “He shot himself as he tried to climb over the barrier with his finger on the trigger. He blew some of the meat off his thigh, and nicked the femoral artery, he is not going to make it Sasquatch.”

  “Pump him full of morphine and drag him onto the Osprey. He isn’t going to make it without a full triage team and functioning O.R,” Hunter looked up at me in anger and confusion. Dawning finally blossomed as he saw my logic. We were in a continuing gun fight and didn’t have the resources to save the man. I was not about to leave anyone to the zombies.

  I moved off as he proceeded to do as I ordered. I stalked up to Moonie as he and Cupcake were arguing over the hydraulic fluid he had brought him. The artillery was coming down onto our last position, pulverizing vehicles, the pavement, and tearing apart the horde as it continued to walk into the mass death from above. I could ignore that for a moment and move onto the next problem. I grabbed Moonie and Cupcake by the scruff of their necks and stared at them.

  “What the fuck is the problem?”

  Cupcake spoke first. “This old fucker, says the hydraulic fluid I procured for him is not made for the Osprey. I explained to him it was all we had. He said I need to go find him some correct fluid.”

  “I cannot use this fluid, it is the wrong type. And if you put that shit in the bird, it may cause irreputable damage.”

  I spun Moonie around and forced him to look at our last position as it was being pounded into dust. “I think that shit is going to cause more damage to the fucking Osprey then this fluid. Now put it fucking in, that is an order!” I pushed him toward the container of fluid.

  “Got it,” he picked up the fluid and started pouring it into a funnel. Every now and then he would turn his head and observe the artillery pounding nearby.

  I marched over and found our pilot. I plucked him off the ground where he had been cowering. “We found the problem in your engine and that old bastard over there is refilling the lost hydraulic fluid. Can you get this thing off the ground?”

  He shook from the explosions going off and stared wild-eyed up at me. He blinked once slowly and then faster, as he came to his senses. “Yes, get everyone onboard.”

  “You are taking these people, the rest of us are staying,” I set him on his feet and pushed him toward the open ramp of the Osprey. I pointed to the civvies and then at the Osprey and they followed in the pilot’s wake.

  The artillery started to shift out toward the horde and then back toward us. It was then I remembered the drone. I pulled out the tablet to see the two Ridder convoys had merged and were on the freeway about two miles away. I sent the drone out as far as It would go to try and find the artillery coming down on us. I then checked on Apache and saw her Humvee was still in working order as well as one of the others nearby. A plan slowly started coming together in my mind.

  The Osprey continued to sit there not moving, as the artillery started shifting in our direction. Did I have to do every goddamn thing myself? I stalked toward the open ramp when the engines roared to life and the mighty rotors begin to turn. They had to get moving before the artillery dialed them in, turning them into nothing but a bloody torn up tin can. I surveyed our area one more time, before bounding off to board my Humvee as Apache waited for me. The other Humvee, driven by Cupcake was already moving down the highway. I climbed into the front seat and before I could close my door, Apache stomped down on the gas getting us moving.

  I made my way to the rear and popped up in the cupola to watch the Osprey as it slowly clawed its way up into the quickening night sky. I kept watch, waiting to see if the nacelle would transition to forward flight. In almost slow motion the troubled nacelle tilted, and the Osprey moved forward gaining speed faster and faster. As it disappeared over the hills to the west, Apache picked up speed pointing us north. As we caught up, I remembered the drone and pulled out the tablet checking on its status. It had broken its orbit and followed the transmitter in my backpack. I turned its camera to check our current course, and what it transmitted back to me caused my blood to turn cold. Somehow part of the Ridder convoy from the east had swung around flanking us and effectively cut off our only escape route.

  I turned the camera and zoomed behind us. The image presented was no better, Ridder had moved up quickly on us and blocked our south and east. West was not an option either due to the hills and the rest of the zombie horde moving in on us. I was at my wit’s end when my radio came alive in my ear.

  “Lancelot, this is Freshman. Over,” a female’s voice came over the radio.

  “Freshman, Lancelot I read you five by five. May I ask who you are? Over.”

  A bout of musical laughter came through my ear piece. “I am a crippled Bone coming back from a failed bombing mission. I am carrying a load of CBU-103s and in your AO. Is there anything my crew and I can do to help you out? Over.”

  “Your timing is impeccable Freshman, we happen to be pinned between two Ridder columns and a horde of stink bags. Over.” I smiled as I spoke. Apache pulled us up next to Cupcake’s Humvee and motioned for him to wait.

  “I’m coming in from your east. I am going to be moving way to fast to verify who you are. But according to my new LADAR, you are one of three Humvees, correct? Over.”

  “You are correct. Quick question Fr
eshman, how are you crippled? Over.”

  “Well, after this ground attack we won’t have enough fuel to make our home base. Think you have room in your little convoy for four weary pilots? Over.”

  “We will make room for you, and if you do a good job you can have my seat. Over.”

  Laughter came over the radio again. “Let me sit in your lap and you got a deal Lancelot. Over.”

  “Just take care of our problem safely, get to the ground, and you got a deal Freshman. Over.”

  “Roger that,” she laughed and the became all professional. “Commencing attack Lancelot, keep your heads down. Over.”

  “Roger.”

  I turned in the cupola to take in the eastern sky. I knew where they were coming from and still didn’t see them, until they had dropped their load on the convoy to our south, and disappeared over the hills to our west in seconds. Just a black shape in a darkening sky, four jets of flames coming out the back of it. The CBU-103 was a cluster bomb, that spins as it falls, and once it hits a certain altitude, it bursts open dropping two hundred plus containers about twenty centimeters long each. As they spread out falling to the targets. They would destroy just about anything they hit. All I saw was a carpet of individual explosions in the distance. I would not want to be in a vehicle hit by those things, because if you were, you were nothing but burst spam-in-a-can. I spun in the cupola and turned my vision to the north. I never saw the B1 come out of the mountains, all I saw was another sea of lights as the bomblets exploded on Ridder.

  “Lancelot, Freshman. I think we have successfully taken care of your little problem. We are going to swing around and come over the top of you low and slow south to north. We are going travel about twenty miles away from you and then head east before ejecting. I will call you on the guard channel once on the ground. Over.”

  “Roger all Freshman, be careful and thank you for your assistance. Over.”

  “You can thank me in person Lancelot. Over.”

  I heard a roaring sound and spun to the south just in time to see the magnificent sleek shape of the B1 fly over, with its wings fully extended for slow flight as it flew over us. I pounded on the roof of the Humvee and Apache started moving north up the highway. Cupcake pulled in behind following us as the third Humvee followed. A hand yanked on my pants leg and looked down to find a big black hand handing up night vision googles to me.