Because Shit Happened

by Harsh Snehanshu

  When I came out after taking a bath, I was greeted by a bunch of people in the drawing room. Priya, Pratik, Rishabh, Anjali, Kamna and Shardendu—it seemed like they were all up to something, but I couldn’t fathom what. I couldn’t understand why they were all there until Pratik and Rishabh lifted me by the legs and asked the others to join them in giving me birthday bumps!

  They had come to celebrate my birthday on Sunday itself for weekdays were usually busy. I was charmed and thanked each one of them for planning it.

  I asked them whether I could call my sister Saumya as well, but they reluctantly said, ‘You might not want to call her,’ and showed me three bottles of vodka and five cans of beer. Had it not been my birthday, I would have been annoyed at them having brought alcohol. But since they had brought it, they were to drink it, and they had paid for it, it didn’t bother me. To my dislike, Priya gulped around six pegs of vodka and because of my friends, I couldn’t say a word. Within a few minutes, she was already drunk out of her mind.

  All of them left for the drawing room leaving Priya behind with me. She came forward and embraced me, saying, ‘Happy birthday, sugar,’ and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

  ‘Thank you for the surprise,’ I said.

  Anjali came into the room a few minutes later and said, ‘Shikha asked me to give you this packet.’

  My blood froze at the mere mention of Shikha’s name. I put the packet inside the cupboard and thanked Anjali, who left the room. I kept staring at Priya to gauge her reaction.

  ‘Amol, are you still in touch with that bitch?’ Priya interrogated sternly.

  ‘Not at all. I have told you this before. Ever since I came back into your life, I have never spoken to her.’

  ‘Let us see what that bitch has sent for you?’

  ‘Leave it. Let’s throw it in the dustbin. She doesn’t matter to us now, does she?’ I argued but she didn’t care to listen. She opened the cupboard and unwrapped the gift packet, only to find that it was a Gabriel Garcia Marquez book that Shikha had asked me to read long back.

  She looked at me, appalled, and opened the first page that carried a handwritten note, ‘To love, from yours truly.’ She looked at me in disgust and hurled the book towards me. I didn’t bother catching it to show that it meant nothing to me.

  ‘You asshole, you bloody cheated on me,’ she screamed and burst into tears.

  ‘Please don’t scream. There are other people in the house.’

  ‘Get away from me, you cheat,’ she yelled at the top of her voice. Pratik, Anjali, and Shendu came running towards me on hearing the commotion.

  ‘Ask him to get away from me. This scoundrel cheated on me. Ask him to get lost,’ she shouted.

  ‘Okay, I’m going. Please don’t create a scene anymore,’ I said. She threw a photo frame that carried my mother’s and my photo at me, which broke into pieces. She then took her bag and rushed outside.

  The assault didn’t stop there. She called me on her way out and screamed, ‘You son of a bitch, how could you cheat on me? Now see what I do to you!’

  ‘Priya, calm down. It was my birthday party and you ruined it. Why did you have to break the photo frame that had my mother’s photo?’

  ‘You son of a whore,’ she screamed.

  ‘I’m breaking up with you. Go to hell for all I care,’ I hanged up the phone in disgust. She kept calling me time and again. Having lost my patience, I switched off my phone.

  Two hours later, there were a dozen sorry messages from Priya in my inbox. One of them said, ‘I’m sorry for losing my temper. I was drunk. I won’t ever drink again and I will make it up to you on your birthday, I promise. Please give me one last chance.’

  I softened a bit and replied, ‘Okay, but please don’t call me till my birthday. I will return to Malviya Nagar on my birthday—the 20th morning.’

  September 20

  Generally, birthdays in Delhi are lavish parties full of booze, dance, and non-vegetarian food. But me being penniless, I had chosen to make it special in my own way. It was a weekday and Rishabh had gone for some meeting with clients. Priya had taken a day off for me so I invited her and my sister Saumya for a lunch party where I cooked for both of them. Shahi paneer, basmati rice, dal, and salad. Simple fare.

  Priya looked surprised at how easily I had let go of the fight between us two days ago and didn’t even mention it once to her. After lunch, my sister left for her PG leaving Priya and me behind. Priya sat in front of me, looking at me intently. Her eyes seemed to seek forgiveness.

  ‘Amol,’ she came towards me, clasped her hands in mine and said, ‘I’m so…’

  ‘Don’t…’ I said hugging her, ‘don’t ruin this moment.’

  My phone rang all of a sudden and I had to let go of her gentle embrace. It was Shikha and I showed it to Priya. She showed no signs of anger this time and asked me to hand over the phone to her. I reluctantly complied.

  ‘Amol is busy. What do you have to say?’ I heard Priya say on the phone. ‘Okay, I will convey this to him,.. No, he doesn’t want to talk to you…Yes, I’m pretty sure about it.’

  I wondered why Shikha had called so suddenly after three months. Did she call to wish me Happy Birthday?

  I went and sat on the edge of the bed in my room. There was something sticking out from beneath the mattress. I pulled it out and saw that it was the Marquez book that Shikha had gifted me, ripped apart completely. I pulled the tattered pages out, one by one, and looked at them horrified. Priya returned from the call with a triumphant smile and on seeing the tattered book in my hand, she immediately grabbed it.

  ‘Why did you have to tear that book apart?’ I asked her.

  ‘Because I hate that damn bitch and want to burn everything about her in your life.’

  ‘Then tomorrow you might wish to burn my website down, for it has been designed by her,’ I retaliated. She remained silent.

  ‘You always assure me that you have forgiven me about everything, but your actions tell me that you haven’t,’ I said.

  ‘I have forgiven you, but I haven’t forgiven her for spoiling our relationship,’ she said.

  ‘Right now, you are spoiling our relationship by bringing things from my past to the fore,’ I said and continued with brutal honesty. ‘And you know what, she didn’t spoil our relationship, I did. I took advantage of her. Look, can we just forget about this and move on for good?’

  Priya came forward and hugged me, apologizing for having lost her cool yet again. To ensure that Priya was indeed cool once and for all, I took permission from her to send a sorry message to Shikha, thus redeeming myself of my guilt of using her and assuring Priya that I was loyal to her.

  By the end of September, things started moving for us work-wise. The contest section was more or less streamlined—not with big clients like Diptea, but small and medium-sized clients like start-ups and authors instead.

  It was during this time that we were shortlisted among the Top 20 for the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards (GSEA) and it called for one of us to represent the venture at Coimbatore, where they would announce the top 3. As I had applied on behalf of our company, the invitation came in my name. When the matter was brought in front of Rishabh, he asserted that both of us should go for he couldn’t afford to miss this marketing opportunity where he could get clients for our contest page. We called the GSEA authorities but they didn’t allow the two of us to come. It was not the first difficult situation that we faced, but it was the first situation where our being partners with equal designation and equity failed us. We had two options—either a toss or one of us giving in. A toss seemed too immature to both of us and Rishabh, with his exceptional negotiation skills, convinced me that if he represented us at the contest, it would be more beneficial for the venture.

  I chose to remain back at home, doing all the homework like investment PPTs, financial analysis, business plan preparation, etc. The only incentive for me remaining at home was that Priya could stay at my place for a week.

&nb
sp; Early October, while Rishabh was away for the GSEA contest, I received an invitation to speak at a Youth to Business Forum organized by a prominent student NGO. I happily accepted the invitation and went to speak at the conclave on October 2 along with Mishra who sat in the audience. I talked about how I had tussled between different choices, societal pressure, and personal ambition and at last chose the road of entrepreneurship. I also highlighted how the imminent future for entrepreneurs is full of struggle that deters many who want to pursue it, but the distant future which an entrepreneur envisions promises the bliss of achievement and financial freedom.

  After the talk, there was a question and answer session. Having answered a dozen or so questions till then, I was just about to sit when I noticed that Mishra’s hand was raised. I asked him to go ahead and ask his question.

  ‘So you mean to say that people who are employees are not living their life to the fullest?’ Mishra asked. It was a tricky question, for even though I believed so, I couldn’t say that in front of everyone.

  ‘It all depends on what you aspire for. For people who aspire for security, jobs are best suited. But if you aspire to be the master of your own life, have the talent to run your own venture, start-up now,’ I answered, hoping I had succeeded in saving my skin.

  ‘How was it?’ I asked Mishra after the show.

  ‘Very inspiring, very moving,’ he replied.

  October 3–9

  Priya had come to stay with me for a few days. On one of these days when she returned from her office she seemed low. I went to the kitchen to make her some tea. When I returned, she was busy on the phone. I thought it was Kamna and started making sensuous noises to tease her. She freaked out and kicked me hard in the shins and disconnected the call hurriedly. ‘Don’t ever do anything like this when I’m on call with my mother,’ she said.

  ‘Oh, when did your mother start speaking with you? You didn’t tell me about it,’ I asked. She remained silent.

  ‘Answer me.’

  ‘I didn’t tell you because my mother had never stopped talking to me.’

  ‘What about your confession to them about me?’

  ‘I never told them about you. I lied to you. It’s as simple as that,’ she ended and left the house.

  I was deeply grieved. I went looking for Rishabh’s cigarette packet and found it in one of the kitchen closets. A moment later, I was standing in the balcony, puffing my misery away.

  Five cigarettes down, the gruesome memories of the past haunted me. I called her up and questioned, ‘How could you have lied to me?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said sleepily and hung up.

  I called her again, this time in a better mood.

  ‘Priya, I just realized something.’

  ‘Amol, can we talk about whatever it is later, please?’

  ‘No, listen to me. This will be our last conversation.’

  ‘What?’ she said in a nonchalant manner.

  ‘I want to break up with you—not because of the lie, but because I want to be on my own completely. I want to discover things on my own. I don’t want to do something with someone or for someone.’

  ‘If this is because of the fact that I lied to you, then please tell me. I know I can’t change that and I can’t dare speak with my mother about you even now, because you don’t know my mother. She will marry me off immediately if she gets to know about our relationship.’

  ‘But why couldn’t you tell this to me earlier?’

  ‘Were you in a mood to listen at that time? It was my only way of having you back in my life. But I can’t do anything about it now,’ she said in a voice bereft of hope.

  ‘Let’s end this misery of lies, betrayal, and what-not,’ I said.

  ‘As you wish,’ she said plainly.

  ‘You are free to date whoever you wish to, you are free to fall in love with anyone else. I’m not holding you. I’m just taking a break and I won’t be dating anyone, I can assure you that. I don’t want to get trapped once again,’ I added so as to ensure that I didn’t hinder her liberty in any sense.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘You can call me in case you need me for anything, but I won’t be calling you for sure,’ I said, keeping up my chatter only to vex her some more.

  ‘It’s okay, Amol. Now please let me go,’ she said.

  ‘You know why I decided to get back with you? Because I couldn’t see you so hapless, not because I wanted to be with you,’ I kept my panic mode on. I didn’t know whether I was trying to convince her or myself by coming up with one logical explanation after another.

  This time, she didn’t bother to take my shit and ended the call. It was abrupt but I had no option other than to accept it. I had just given her my word that I won’t call her. So I didn’t. I couldn’t.

  We have had break ups for the silliest reasons in the past—once when I refused to meet her on a lazy Sunday, she broke up with me saying that I didn’t love her much; at another time, I broke up with her when she had called one of my relatives ‘dumb’, which he actually was, but she still hadn’t the right, did she? In our first year, I had also broken up on a philosophical reason much like now, where I argued that I didn’t deserve to waste my father’s hard earned money on her, and should be spending it on my family instead. Though after a day or two, things would always return back to normal, for we were too habitual to each other and couldn’t imagine a life where either of us was missing from the equation. Such kind of break ups had been a part of our lives and I inwardly knew that my resolve would weaken soon and I would be back to normal.

  October 11

  Rishabh had returned from Coimbatore. Unlike what he had promised, he couldn’t find any clients for the contest. I didn’t quiz him this time. I didn’t want to blame him when I didn’t know the whole truth.

  Rishabh informed me that a TV channel had covered him during the show and a two-minute interview was going to air on TV quite soon. It made me go green with envy.

  Rishabh’s interview was to appear on October 26 on one of the major news channels. He had never exhibited more pride before as he informed all his friends and even made me post on our fan page for our followers to tune in to the news channel fifteen days in advance and catch him speaking about our venture. On seeing the announcement, my parents called me up to ask why I didn’t go to Coimbatore with him and why Rishabh was taking the lead over me. I had no answer for them.

  In the afternoon, Mishra dropped in at our place.

  ‘Rishabh, what do I mean to YourQuote?’ Mishra said out of the blue.

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked him with curiosity.

  ‘I have been thinking about my place in the team for quite some time now. So am I the co-founder of the venture or not?’

  ‘Ha! Of course you are. Why do you even need to ask this question? Let’s get back to work,’ Rishabh said.

  ‘Rishabh, don’t evade my question,’ said Mishra bluntly.

  ‘Okay, tell me what exactly do you want?’ We were too stunned to think it through.

  ‘I just want to know my exact incentive. Why should I continue to work with you guys? What’s in it for me? Outside, you guys introduce me as the CTO whereas you call yourselves the Co-founder Directors,’ he said in an accusatory tone.

  ‘Why are you asking me this now?’ I questioned.

  ‘That’s because we are working on the project full time and I want my role clearly defined,’ he said. ‘Without me, there would have been no website in the first place.’

  ‘Tell me what you want,’ Rishabh said.

  ‘I have a lot of offers in hand. Click2Closet is offering me a position of CTO. There are other foreign start-ups with a lot more to offer that are interested in hiring me, but since I have been working with you, I give you the right to make me want to stay. I want—in equity and designation—whatever you think is apt for me and I will compare it with other offers I have in hand and decide. I won’t stop work in the meanwhile, but I expect you to make your decision fast, at the
most by two weeks,’ Mishra said.

  ‘Two weeks is too little a time since we are not even prepared for it,’ Rishabh argued.

  ‘Two weeks is all I have. By November, I need to have my doubts cleared,’ Mishra said and left.

  The shock of Mishra’s sudden demands was too burdensome to handle alone. Rishabh, who didn’t perceive the criticality of the situation, asked me to relax and give Mishra some time to regain his sanity. The attitude of Rishabh in critical HR issues was very laid back, almost like that of a politician. He preferred to let the matter linger for as long as possible before coming to a decision. Rishabh didn’t realize that Mishra was being brainwashed by his parents, his elder brother, and more than anyone else, his hostel-mates who hated us for involving him with us. I wanted to offer Mishra an irresistible deal immediately and not waste the next two weeks.

  The burden of the upcoming setback was too heavy to carry on my shoulders. I decided to share it with the only person who could lessen my pain. Priya.

  ‘Hi Priya.’

  ‘Hi,’ she said. Her tone lacked surprise.

  ‘Mishra has asked us to offer him a lucrative deal otherwise he is threatening to leave us,’ I told her.

  ‘Sorry to hear that,’ she said insincerely.

  ‘I’m sorry for what I said to you last time, I was out of my mind. I want to get back together with you,’ I said as though she was a commodity that I could use when I liked and discard otherwise.

  ‘But I wasn’t out of my mind, Amol. I don’t want to get back together with you.’

  ‘Come on, what are you still angry about?’

  ‘I am not angry about anything. Much like you had realized something that day, I realized something too.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That I won’t ever be happy with you. All you care about is yourself. You have always taken me for granted,’ she said.

  ‘How can you say that? You know how much I care for you.’

  ‘Yes, so much that you left me all alone whenever I was troubled. Whenever you have spoken to me, it has always been about you. Have you ever asked how have I been? Even now you have called me because you have faced trouble in your life, not because you wanted to know my well being.’