Shattered Souls (The Toren Series, Book 1)

by Lola StVil

  “I did it,” I announce.

  His confused frown reminds me he has no idea what I’m talking about. I reel off everything. I tell him about the teasing and how Nix came to my rescue. I don’t tell him about Nix’s father. That’s personal. I tell him about the party and about what happened to Dylann. I leave out the part about Lucas. I finish up with telling him about my training and how I actually produced some power today.

  He beams in excitement.

  “Show me,” he says, nodding towards a lone cactus perched behind the bar.

  I shouldn’t. I think about Lucas telling me what he was like as a young boy trying to control his powers. Thinking about him sends a flash of anger through me, and I raise my palms and aim at the cactus.

  I remember everything Pryor taught me and I focus solely on the rage inside of me and the cactus. Then I think of Silver’s lessons and I mentally push my power out. The tip of the cactus turns a little bit less green.

  I turn to Milo and grin. He high-fives me, and in that moment, I know why I’ll forgive him anything. I barely damaged the thing and he celebrates with me like I’ve just single-handedly won the Super Bowl, jumping up and hugging me tightly.

  “I knew you could do it,” he says excitedly.

  His mood sobers a little and he sits back down. “Now, who upset you?”

  “Huh?” I say, surprised.

  He shrugs. “It was written all over your face.”

  “Lucas,” I say.

  He waits for more, and it all comes spilling out.

  “When Dylann got hurt, he was there for me. He calmed me down, even made me laugh. And we were going to kiss. I know we were. Then we got interrupted. He gave me a look that said it wasn’t over. But then the next time I saw him, he wouldn’t even look at me. He didn’t speak to me, just grunted at me in response to anything I said. So you know what? He might be the most beautiful creature I’ve ever set eyes on, but I’m done with him. The last thing I need is having my head screwed with by Mr. Icy-Hot.”

  A knock on the door interrupts me.

  “Hold that thought,” Milo says.

  He goes to the door and I hear low voices. Milo struts back over to me.

  “So, Icy-Hot wants to talk to you. Alone. He said it’s important.”

  I’m torn. I really don’t need this now, but I can’t deny that I want to know what he has to say to me. And I can’t quite ignore the flush of excitement that goes through me at the thought of him standing out there waiting for me.

  “Go.” Milo laughs.

  “Should I?” I ask.

  “Well, put it this way. If you don’t want him, I’ll have him.”

  I grin. “Thanks, Milo,” I say, getting up and heading for the door.

  “Summit?” he says as I reach the door.

  “Yeah?”

  “I want a full update.” He winks.

  “Got it.” I laugh.

  I pull the door open and there he is, the picture of brooding hotness.

  “What’s up?” I ask, trying to keep my voice casual, trying to show him I haven’t been thinking about him or torturing myself trying to work out the reason he’s been ignoring me.

  He gives me a half grin and I feel my heart race.

  “Can we go for a walk?” he asks.

  “Sure,” I agree.

  We walk in silence for a moment. The roads here are quiet and not a car goes by. The silence is punctuated by birds and a large bee that buzzes past a little too close to my face. I catch Lucas grin as I gasp and waft it away.

  “I have to tell you something, Summit, something big, but I just can’t find the words right now. Can we do this another time?” Lucas asks, finally breaking the silence.

  I stop walking and he stops too. I spin to face him.

  “You know what? No, we can’t do this another time,” I blurt out. “You follow me, drag me into your world. But then you go all mean and moody and distant. You know, frankly, I’m fed up of being messed around, so you can spit it out now, or we can agree just to ignore each other. It’s up to you.”

  It comes out a little harsher than I planned, but it seems to get through to him. His face drops, but he soon regains his composure.

  “You’re right,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

  He won’t look me in the eye, but this time, it’s because he’s embarrassed. He looks at the floor and shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. He perches himself on the wall behind him and starts talking.

  “A year or so ago, I was seeing a girl. Nikki.”

  He smiles slightly as he says her name, but it’s a sad smile.

  “Nikki was amazing. She was pretty, but it was so much more than that, you know? She was kind, compassionate, and funny. She got me in a way no one had ever gotten me before. We all loved her; she was the one who held us all together through the bad times, but she was also the one who wouldn’t think twice about arranging for us all to sneak away through the night and party.”

  He’s going to tell me I’ll never live up to Nikki, who obviously broke his heart.

  “Anyway, we got together and it was good. We arranged to meet at the warehouse for a training session and a date after. It was our one-year anniversary. I was late. I completely forgot. I got distracted. By the time I remembered, it was too late. She’d been attacked by demons and she was already dead when I got to her.”

  I can see the pain in his eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, reaching out and squeezing his hand. He runs his thumb gently across my palm, then lets my hand fall away.

  He looks me in the eye for the first time since he came to the restaurant.

  “I was late because I was watching you, Summit. My feelings for you got her killed. That’s why, no matter how much I want to, I can never give in to them. They’re dangerous. You consume me, and I can’t let that happen ever again.”

  I don’t know what to say. He hasn’t quite finished, and his next line floors me completely.

  He tells me in a pained whisper. “Summit, your hold on me, it’s…absolute.” He looks off in the distance and speaks as if he’s talking to himself. “The worst part about it is if I had to do it over again, I’m still not sure I could look away from you long enough to save her…”

  CHAPTER SEVEN: ANGEL’S GUILT

  No one is looking me in the eye. This can’t be good. It’s a day later and a few minutes ago I pulled members of the team—everyone but Lucas—aside and brought them to an empty classroom, where I asked them to tell me about Nikki. Now, I’m thinking this was a mistake. No one has said a word in like three minutes.

  “C’mon, guys, tell me about Nikki. What was she like? How were they together? Am I really the reason she died?” I ask.

  I wait, but the silence drags out.

  “Come on,” I say. “Tell me what she was like. And what really happened, because I’m sure it can’t be as bad as Lucas thinks it was. It can’t really be his fault that she’s dead.”

  Finally, Nix looks up at me.

  “Lucas was Nikki’s first love. And I think in some ways, she was his, but he could never give himself over to her fully because, well you know.”

  He winces. I nod for him to go on.

  “Well, because he was so into you. Nikki was everything anyone could want, but in Lucas’s eyes, you were the only girl he could imagine being with. But he knew it could never happen—that you were never allowed to know who you were, so the two of you could never meet.”

  “So it’s my fault she’s dead then?” I say quietly.

  Now it’s me who can’t meet their eyes. Their friend, who by all accounts was the picture of perfection, is dead because of me.

  “No,” Parker says, shaking her head. “Don’t even think like that, Summit. It’s not your fault. It’s not Lucas’s fault. It was just one of those things. Fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it.”

  “Look, Summit, there are girls like Nikki, who make all the sense in the world—smart, funny, attentive, caring. You trick you
rself into thinking you love them because you need to fill that void.”

  I swallow hard, dreading the answer to my next question.

  What void?

  “The void that comes from knowing you can never be with the one your heart really desires.”

  “Lucas tried to make it work,” Ryder adds. “They both did, but his heart was never really there. I think deep down Nikki knew that it was doomed to fail, but neither of them wanted to let go.”

  I am thankful for the team being honest with me. Their friend is dead and they don’t even blame me. We have bonded so much since I got here, I feel like I have known them all my life and don’t know what I would do without them. For once I see that I really do have a family. And just like that I know I will do whatever it takes to keep our team together.

  “So, I just have to make Lucas see that this isn’t his fault?” I say.

  I feel hopeful, but one look at their faces tells me it’s not going to be that simple. No one seems to want to say anything, but eventually, RJ pipes up.

  “You explain, Parker. You’re the best one at this sort of thing.”

  “Geez, thanks,” she says.

  She turns her attention to me.

  “It’s not as simple as telling him it’s not his fault. Trust me, we’ve all tried. He has to believe it, and nothing we can say can make him believe that Nikki wouldn’t be alive today if he’d remembered to go and meet her. Maybe that’s true. Personally, I believe if he’d been there, they would both be dead.”

  My heart surges at the thought of Lucas being dead. Gone. I swallow hard.

  “While Lucas continues to carry this guilt around, he can’t let himself love another girl that way. If he does, he experiences Drin.”

  I can tell by her grave expression that Drin is something not to be messed with. I try my best to think what it is, but I come up blank. I don’t think I’ve come across the term. Parker must see my blank expression, because she goes on.

  “Drin is a manifestation of an angel’s guilt. It takes on an actual physical form. It is believed to be snakelike in appearance, and it wraps itself around an angel’s soul, draining away their vitality. If he allows himself to love again, then the Drin will drive him mad, and eventually, it will kill him.”

  I feel my jaw drop. No wonder Lucas is hot and cold. I am literally killing him. I feel tears prickling in my eyes. I blink them back quickly.

  “How do we get rid of it?” I ask, already dreading the answer.

  “The only way to combat Drin is by staying away from love. Forever. It was never a problem for Lucas because he knew he could never be with you. But now…”

  Parker trails off.

  “But now what?” I ask.

  Parker fiddles with her cell phone. It’s obvious that whatever is coming next is bad and she doesn’t want to be the one to break it to me.

  “Now that you’re here, Lucas has been getting migraines and chest pains. The first symptoms of Drin taking hold of him,” Ryder finishes.

  I don’t know what to say. My world has been turned upside down more than once over these last few weeks, but somehow, this is the worst of it all.

  What sort of a world am I living in where love can literally kill you? How is that fair?

  “I know it sounds crazy, Summit,” RJ says, saving me from having to form a coherent sentence. “But I get it. Love can screw you up just as much, maybe more so, in the angel world than in the human world. Take it from me. I know.”

  “This has happened to you too?” I say, incredulous.

  “Not the exact same thing. I was with a girl, Sabrina, she was the love of my life. And I was hers. Or so I thought. Then one day, she told me it was over because she had met someone else. I thought she would get Drin, but she didn’t. I guess she didn’t feel guilty about breaking my heart.”

  “You can’t control who you fall in love with,” Ryder says quietly. “She shouldn’t feel guilty for loving someone.”

  Parker throws him a look that I fear will turn his soul to ice. He returns the look. No one else seems to notice, and RJ carries on.

  “Whose side are you on?” he snaps at Ryder.

  Ryder shrugs. “I’m just saying, man. Maybe her new boyfriend is okay, you know. Maybe you guys will meet and be best friends?” he says, only half kidding.

  “No, I don’t know,” RJ says bitterly. “But if I ever did meet him, he won’t be okay when I’m done with him.”

  I don’t like where this is going, but I don’t know how to stop it.

  “You can’t interfere with fate,” Ryder says.

  “Is someone using my name in vain,” a stern voice says from behind me.

  I was so intent on our conversation I didn’t even hear the door open.

  Mrs. Greenblatt, the principal, stands behind me, her hands on her hips and a withering expression on her face. I feel myself wince inside. This isn’t going to go down well with her.

  Mrs. Greenblatt is a woman of many names. Not only is she known by her actual name, and Fate, but most students call her The Face. I’ve heard the stories of the looks she can give that can make even the most rebellious student jump to attention. This is the first time I’ve met her, and I have to say that she lives up to the stories.

  Strangely, for all she is known as so strict, most of the students I’ve heard talking about her do so with affection. She is known as firm but fair. She expects her students to perform and behave properly, and in return, she will fight for us until her last breath.

  Of course she knows about what’s going on with the fate of the world being in my hands and all of that, so she is sure to go a bit easier on us.

  She shakes her head and lets out a low sigh as she fixes each of us in turn with That Look. The famous look. The one that looks like she’s smelled something bad.

  “I see that the lazy gene is alive and well in this team just as in your parents before you. Do you all think you’re too important to attend your classes these days?” She asks as she enters the classroom and looks at us with what I’m told is her famous “I don’t approve” expression.

  Her voice is definitely the voice of authority.

  No one answers her. We all find particularly interesting spots on the floor to look at.

  “I taught your mother, you know, Summit,” she says.

  Her tone is more conversational now, and I dare to look at her. It’s a mistake. She isn’t making pleasant chitchat.

  “What do you suppose she’ll say when I tell her that her daughter is not only skipping classes, but is encouraging her friends to do the same?”

  “I…” I manage before I trail off.

  How does she know this was my idea? Can she read my mind?

  “I can see it all over your face, dear,” she says as though she really can read my mind.

  She probably can’t, but I make a mental note to be careful of what I think about in her presence. She doesn’t comment on that, so maybe I’m safe.

  “And don’t think I’m only blaming Summit for this,” she goes on, looking at the others. “You all know better. Summit’s parents won’t be the only ones I’ll be calling.”

  “But…,” RJ starts.

  The Face holds her hand up for silence. “There’s no special treatment in this school, as you all well know. Now…”

  Her sentence is cut off by a huge noise that can only be described as an explosion. I feel the floor vibrate beneath my feet, and plaster dust rains down on us from the ceiling.

  Is she that mad she’s making this happen?

  One look at The Face’s startled expression tells me that’s not the case.

  The noise of the explosion is followed almost instantly by loud screams and the sounds of a crowd running.

  “Stay back,” The Face says protectively.

  She opens the door and peers out, then shuts it again. She turns to us, worried.

  “It seems we have visitors. There’s a large pack of Nukes out there. If you’ll all excuse me, I have to go an
d make sure all of the students are safe. Stay here. This isn’t over.”

  With that, she’s gone. I spin back around to face the others.

  “The school just got nuked?” I ask.

  “Wait, you know what a Nuke is?” Nix says with a frown.

  I go to nod then realize we are probably talking about two different things.

  As if the school just got hit with a nuclear bomb and we’re all still standing.

  “Misunderstanding,” I say, waving my hand in the hope I can wave away my own stupidity.

  Ryder walks towards the door and the others follow.

  “Come on, Summit,” he says. “If The Face is keeping the other students safe, someone has to get rid of the Nukes, right?”

  “What exactly are they?” I ask, joining the others at the door.

  “You’ll see.” Ryder smiles. “Just don’t touch them—their skin will burn you. And don’t get bitten—a bite can kill.”

  Great, that’s reassuring.

  But it’s a chance to use some of my powers, which are gradually getting stronger. I can kill a plant now, not just wilt the leaves, and it will be nice to see if I can do anything that’s actually useful.

  “Let’s go,” I say.

  He opens the door a crack and turns back.

  “Oh, and they breathe fire.” He grins.

  He pulls the door fully open before I can fully process his last words.

  I’m met with a scene like something from a nightmare. Students run back and forth along the hallway, screaming and pushing and shoving each other. Some of them look like they are on fire, and I shudder.

  Dotted between the fleeing students, snarling and biting, are the Nukes. The closest I can come to naming them is hyenas, but it’s how I imagine hyenas would look like if they were the hounds of Hell.

  They aren’t much bigger than a medium-sized dog, but their teeth look just as lethal as they are sharp. Their bodies are covered in thick crimson red-and-black fur. At first, I think the red is blood, but I soon see it’s not. The red and black sit in perfect thick stripes across the width of their bodies.

  I imagine they would be quite beautiful if it wasn’t for the teeth, the fire, and their apparent fixation on killing us all.