by Lola StVil
“Are you calling them your parents now? Oh, honey, that will make them so happy,” Death gushes.
“If I ever see them again.”
“Missions often require other teams to go away. Finding the Marcon pendant is a Toren-specific mission. I thought you knew that they would have to go,” Death says. “I still forget how little you know about this world.”
“I didn’t think about it. Just like I didn’t think that hugging Lucas would cause any of this.”
I sigh heavily and slump down in the chair. She takes my hand in hers and turns her body slightly so she is facing me. I can’t quite meet her eye, but I do my best.
“I’m your grandmother. I have been here from the very first mission. And your mom was here for the one after that, and now, you.
“We are three generations of kickass warriors. We fight. Hard. And we love. Hard. We don’t sit back and moan about what’s not going right. We find a way to fix it.”
I open my mouth to tell her I want to fight but I don’t know how. She’s not done.
“You want your parents back? Then get ready to fight to get them back. It’s only a matter of time before you are given the location of the first piece of the pendant. When that happens, you will be ready. Until then, Lucas, a member of your team, needs you. So, fix your face and go be a leader.”
Her words stir something in me. The fighter. That part of me knows that Death is right. She knows that she can face whatever is thrown at her and come through the other side, maybe not unscathed, but alive to tell the tale.
But there’s another part of me. A part that isn’t a leader. A part that is just a normal teenage girl who doesn’t know how to face someone she thinks she might be falling in love with.
“Maybe the leader can face him but what about the…human part of me? The part that, well, you know,” I say, hoping that she does know.
I don’t think I can bring myself to say it out loud. I don’t have to worry.
“The part that wants to be more to him?” Death asks carefully.
I lower my head. She places her hand under my chin and angles it so that we are now eye to eye.
“We fight for what we want in this world because no one is going to give it to us. For love or survival, a fight is a fight. Go. Claim him.”
She’s right. Standing on the sidelines, tongue tied and shy, isn’t really my thing. I’ve had to fight for everything I’ve ever had, and now shouldn’t be any different.
I stand up and move purposefully into Lucas’s room.
Anya notices me and tactfully slips out of the room. Lucas is awake now, and although he looks a bit paler than usual, he seems otherwise okay. The multicolored bag is gone now, and he’s surrounded by separate vials of blue, green, and yellow. They hang in the air, two over his chest and the green one over his arm.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” I try to be coy.
“Better now,” he says with his million-dollar smile.
I drag a chair over to the side of his bed and sit down beside him. I can’t help but notice that the chair is a black padded affair rather than flimsy orange plastic.
I reach out to take his hand, but at the last second, I think better of it. I change my mind and pull my hand back, resting it awkwardly in my lap.
I don’t know what to say, but I know I have to say something.
“I saw Parker,” I say in an official tone.
This is safe ground, and I hope it’s a good icebreaker. I’ve never almost killed someone by hugging them before, so this is all new to me.
“She’s going to be fine, but she really doesn’t care about that. She’s fascinated about the way the Nuke poison works.”
Lucas lets out a throaty laugh. “Sounds like Parker.”
I nod, laughing along with him. Some of the tension drains out of the air between us, and he takes the chance to move the conversation along to something a bit more real.
“So, how are you? About your parents leaving, I mean.”
I shrug.
“I’m okay. I’ll get them back and I won’t make the same mistake again.”
His question brings one of my own to the forefront.
“Hey, that reminds me. All our parents had to go into the void, but Death said yours are on their way here. How come? Does it mean that if one of us gets hurt they can come back?”
Lucas shakes his head.
“No. They can’t come back until the entire mission is completed. My parents didn’t leave. It would cause too much upset with them being the king and queen of the Paras.”
He says that like it’s no big deal, so I decide not to treat it as one. The truth is, he could have told me his parents were otters and I still would have been more overcome with the need to hold him than to process the information.
I wonder briefly if he gets a better chair because his parents are royalty.
You know you’re avoiding something when chairs take up such a huge chunk of your attention.
“Lucas, I…,” I start.
“It’s okay,” he says.
He reaches out to stroke my hair, and I jump up, knocking the chair over with a loud clatter.
“It’s not okay,” I say, righting the chair.
The door opens, saving us from having to pretend like we don’t desperately want to hold each other. Anya comes back in, her face all business.
“Your Drin is getting worse,” she says to Lucas. She nods towards the vials.
“These will help to slow it down in the short term, but long term, it’s going to get stronger with each passing day until it drives you mad or kills you.”
Wow, don’t hold back, tell us how it really is!
“There must be something you can do. Something you can try,” I say to Anya, pleading with her with my eyes to understand and make it right again.
“Well, there’s a way to stop it. It won’t cure it exactly, but Lucas will be able to lead a normal life.”
I feel a wave of relief flood me and I think for a moment that my knees are going to buckle.
“We’ll do anything,” I say.
“First, we need to identify the source of the Drin. The trigger.”
She mistakes my horrified expression for confusion.
“You know, like in a human, say they have migraines. The trigger could be bright lights.”
“I get it,” I whisper.
Somehow, she still misses the obvious.
“So, Lucas. What is causing your grief to take on a physical form and attack you? What’s the source of your pain?” Anya asks as daggers invade my heart.
I swallow hard and speak in a strained whisper. “I am. I am his…his migraine.”
She finally seems to understand the implications of what’s happening. Her face pales ever so slightly.
“Well that’s a shame because that means…”
“That means what?” Lucas asks, sitting up straighter, clearly on edge.
“If you want to live, you have to leave the team.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN: TOUGH LOVE
When Anya delivers her news, my knees buckle. I feel like a black cloud has engulfed me in its body, but instead of being fluffy and soft, it’s slimy and cold. Her words shake my very core. I just can’t seem to catch a break.
“I’ll let you two talk,” Anya says, leaving us alone together.
Drop a bombshell like that and just leave? Nice.
“Summit, I’m fine,” Lucas says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I pointedly glance at the vials surrounding him.
“Yeah, you look just peachy,” I snap.
“I look better than you right now. Are you okay?”
“Sure, my guy tells me I won’t be alone, then just hours later I’m told I have to send him away to save his life,” I say sardonically
My guy. OMO, did I really just say my guy? Maybe he didn’t notice.
“I’m not leaving the team and that’s the end of the discussion.” He smirks a little at my words, then continues with
a more-than-serious cold tone that sends chills throughout my body.
Ha! If he thinks this is the end of the discussion, then he doesn’t know me at all. He did notice. Damn!
“The discussion has barely even begun,” I inform him.
I can feel my temper flaring up at his arrogance, and my next line comes out angry.
“Haven’t I caused you enough pain? Everything I touch ends in disaster—I will not be the reason you end up locked up in an institution for angels.”
Wait, do they have those? I remember back to when we first met. I really did think that’s where he belonged. Now that I know him, the thought rocks me like nothing I have ever imagined. I am not capable of being loved, and he needs to see that now before he ends up there or worse…
His tone matches mine, and the back and forth begins.
“I won’t be. It was a onetime thing, Summit. I’m fine to be around you. I let my guard down, that’s all, and it won’t happen again. To be honest, I don’t think it will be that hard. The more I get to know you, the less I like you.”
That hurt. Part of me thinks he’s only saying it to make me feel better about him being on the team, but another part of me wonders if it’s true. He thought he liked me—loved me even—but he didn’t know me then. This just reassures me…I was right. I, Summit Case, am unlovable….
What if I can’t live up to the vision of me he’s built in his head?
It would be a good thing, because then the Drin would go away, but it doesn’t feel like a good thing. It feels like the worst thing I could imagine coming to life and biting me in the ass.
I have to say something quickly to cover my hurt. Something biting. Something that will hurt him as much as he hurt me.
“The feeling is mutual,” I snap. “I didn’t realize what a self-centered asshole you really are until now. You would rather risk your life and my sanity than just sit this one out. Talk about a hero complex.”
“It’s hardly a hero complex not wanting someone else to die on my watch!” he snaps back.
I cringe inside. I went too far. Way too far. I wish I could take the words back, but I know I can’t. Instead, I try to take the sting out of them a bit.
“No one is going to die. You included. That’s why you have to do what Anya says.”
Lucas sighs. All of the anger has gone.
“Being who I am, the son of a king has always been kind of a burden, if I’m honest. But being a Toren is different. The team is my family, Summit, and they don’t place ridiculous expectations on me just because of my parents. They accept me for who I am, and to be honest, I need that.”
“I’ve made my decision,” I say with a stone-cold expression to match my icy tone.
The anger flares back up in him again.
“It’s too important to me to have you take it away from me.”
“Even if it means you’ll die?” I yell, incredulous.
He nods.
Before he can respond, Death comes into the room.
“I could hear you two screaming at each other from down the hallway,” she scolds us.
I suddenly find a particularly interesting piece of fluff on my sleeve and I focus on that.
“You two need to take a moment to calm down,” she goes on. “Summit, the team wants you in Parker’s room.”
Lucas pushes back the sheet that covers him.
“Not you, Lucas,” Death says gently.
“But…”
“No buts. They’re Anya’s orders and I don’t look forward to explaining to her why her patient is flaked out in the hallway, if it’s all the same to you.”
With a sigh, he drops the sheet and stays where he is.
Reluctantly, I follow Death out of the room. I glance back at Lucas, who scowls at me. If looks could kill, there wouldn’t be anything Anya could do to save me. I sigh. I don’t know what to say to make it better, so I don’t say anything at all.
“You know,” Death calls to me as I head for Parker’s room, “it doesn’t really matter what Lucas wants. It’s your call about who is on the team and who isn’t.”
I nod. I understand that, but if anything, it just makes it harder. I enter Parker’s room with a heavy heart.
The team has gathered some extra chairs, and they are sitting in a small circle slightly away from Parker. There’s an empty seat in the middle waiting for me.
I gasp as I look across at Parker. She looks like she’s unconscious.
“It’s okay,” Dylann quickly says when she sees my face.
“The healer has given her a sedative so the mixtures will work quicker. She kept getting herself excited about the poison, and it got her worked up and slowed down the healing, that’s all,” Ryder says with a laugh.
I smile to myself, imagining Parker’s disgruntlement when the healer knocked her out in the midst of her new discovery.
I take the empty chair.
“So,” I begin awkwardly. I’m not sure what to say or how to say it. Hopefully they take it well. They may very well decide to kick me off the team. Lucas is better in every way, and even though I am their leader, he is royalty and would be better to have along on this mission.
“I’ve just had an interesting chat with Anya about Lucas. Apparently, the Drin is getting worse, but she has a way to stop it. He just has to stay away from his trigger.”
I shift uncomfortably.
“You?” RJ offers.
I nod gratefully.
“Yeah. Which means he can’t be on the team, because Anya said if he is, then he will most likely die.”
The news throws everyone into a stunned silence. I hate that I am somehow causing this. Splitting them up.
“No one calls me a bus, buddy,” Parker shouts from her bed.
It is the perfect thing to break the tension, and we all burst into laughter.
“The drugs are sending her a bit loopy,” Ryder points out unnecessarily.
“She’s been shouting stuff like that since she took the sedative,” Dylann says, holding back a laugh.
The laughter dies down a little and I carry on.
“Lucas has made it clear that he has himself under control and wants to remain on the team.”
Parker fires off again.
“Yellow elephants don’t like Jell-O.”
“She has a point,” RJ says, mock serious.
We all end up laughing again. My laughter has a slightly hysterical edge to it, but it feels good to release some of the tension I’m feeling.
“Should we talk about this somewhere else?” Nix says.
“Nah, this is way too good to miss,” Ryder says, crossing his arms and laughing.
“Death has just told me that ultimately it’s up to me to make a decision about whether Lucas can be on the team. We just had a huge fight about it, and I don’t know what to do. I tried telling him he was off the team but he kept insisting. On the one hand, we need him, but on the other hand, I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t send him away. Any suggestions?”
Right on cue, Parker bursts into life again, although this time, no one laughs.
“Nix…Nix…stop. Stop. It tickles,” Parker says, giggling affectionately, waving her hand like she’s brushing him away.
We sit in silence for a second, no one looking at anyone else. I glance at Nix and see his cheeks turning silver. He looks like he wants the ground to open and swallow him.
Ryder glares at Nix.
“What the hell, man? What have you been doing with my sister?” he says accusingly.
“She’s out of her mind right now. She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Nix reminds him. “Two seconds ago she was talking about yellow elephants, yet this, you choose to believe?” he says, growing angry.
“Nix, you better not be messing around with Parker,” RJ warns him.
“I’m not, but if I were, it wouldn’t be Ryder’s business. Or yours,” Nix replies.
“No, man. Two things you never do: date a guy’s sister or his ex,” R
J says.
Ryder swallows hard and looks away.
I frown. What is up with that? I think back to the weird tension between Ryder and Parker that always seems to come up when we talk about anything remotely related to dating. What isn’t he telling us?
The tension in the air is so thick I can almost taste it. Now isn’t the time for us to be fighting amongst ourselves.
Nix made a good point about Parker not knowing what she’s saying. It’s probably nothing, but even if something is going on between them, I can’t help but think that Nix is right about that too. Parker doesn’t seem like the sort of girl who would be bullied into dating someone she doesn’t want to, and it’s really no one else’s business.
“What were you saying about Lucas?” Dylann says.
I send her a silent thank you for getting the conversation back around to Lucas without it looking like it is all about me.
“He said he’s got it all under control and the Drin won’t get ahold of him again. I need to decide whether or not it’s safe for him to stay on the team.”
Nix squirms uncomfortably in his seat. He looks ready to say something, but then he closes his mouth and casts his eyes away from me.
“If you’ve got something to add, please do, Nix. I need your opinions on this.”
“I think he’s probably telling the truth about it being a one-off. He can’t be that into you because he’s always dating one girl or another. I think he’s moved on.”
That stings almost more than what Lucas said, because I know Nix has no reason to lie.
RJ snorts. “That’s bull, man. Just because you date a few girls here and there doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for someone else. Trust me, I know. It’s like me with Sabrina. I’ve dated girls since we split up, naturally, but my heart’s never really been in it. Hell, when all of this started, I even called her, hoping to get back together with her, but I know that’s never going to happen. I could hear a guy’s voice in the background. It sounded vaguely familiar, but he was too far away for me to make out who he was.”
Ryder takes in a sharp breath. And that’s when I know. That’s what all the tension has been about with Parker, and it’s why he acts so weird when we talk about dating. Ryder is Sabrina’s mystery guy.
I discreetly poke him in the side of his thigh. He has to get a better handle on his reactions. Luckily, RJ is too intent on what he’s saying to notice.
