Shattered Souls (The Toren Series, Book 1)

by Lola StVil

She stops trying to free her arm, but she’s still not exactly agreeable.

  “Or what?” she demands. “Look, handsome, I’m a Seller. You know what that means; I just keep retuning back to life after I’m dead unless I have committed so much evil that I go straight to Hell. And it so happens that in this lifetime I haven’t even beaten anyone into a coma. So kill me, but I’ll just come back.”

  It’s time to play my ace.

  “Fish, you and I both know there’s one way I could kill you and you would never return,” I warn her.

  “Yeah right,” she says, looking amused.

  I look her dead in the eye, showing her I’m not bluffing. Her voice shakes a little, but she isn’t ready to give in without being certain.

  “And where exactly are you going to get an ounce of Grim from?” she pushes.

  I take out the red vial and show it to her. She gets very serious, very fast.

  “Fine,” she says sulkily.

  Her eyes don’t stray from the vial. I know better than to drop it back in the loose pocket with Fish about. Instead, I push it down the front of my jeans. There’s no way even she can get it from there without me feeling her.

  “Who do you want me to steal from?” she demands.

  “God.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN: DAMN

  Fish’s mouth opens and closes as what I said sinks in, and for a moment, I think maybe she got the name Fish due to that expression rather than because she has slippery morals. I don’t point this out. I’m not that stupid. Fish gets herself back under control.

  “You want me to steal from God as in steal from Omnis?”

  I nod. “What’s the matter? Don’t think you can pull it off? I thought you were the best?”

  I purposely try to push her buttons, goad her into agreeing to help me.

  She snorts. “I am. But for something that risky, there has to be a damn good reason, so you better start talking.”

  “It’s about Nikki…”

  I trail off, unsure what to tell her.

  “Tell me about her,” Fish says, seemingly genuinely curious.

  I think back to my time with Nikki. There are so many good memories. All of them are overshadowed by the one harrowing memory of her being gone, but I choose to tell Fish about the first time we met.

  “We were having a meeting in my father’s castle. It was to be Nikki’s first meeting, but she didn’t show. We waited a while, but after half an hour, we figured she wasn’t coming and we went on without her.

  “Anyway, after the meeting, the other guys had left and Nix had gone up to his room. I wanted a drink, so I headed for the kitchen.

  “I stumbled across this girl. My first thought should have been who are you and why are you here, but it wasn’t. My first thought was wow. She was this pretty blonde and I couldn’t help noticing that. She seemed relieved to see me rather than scared that I’d caught her trespassing.

  “She babbled away for a good five minutes about how she’d been running late, and no one had answered when she knocked on the door, so she’d come in. Then she explained she’d gotten lost somehow and she couldn’t find her way out.

  “She still hadn’t explained why she was there in the first place, but I figured out who she was. I introduced myself and so did she. She was a mystery to me. She seemed both open and closed at the same time. Both strong and yet vulnerable. I was hooked.

  “She went into another breathless rant, apologizing for intruding and missing the meeting. Something about her easy way with words and the way she could laugh at herself pulled me in.

  “I felt like I’d known her all of my life after those first few minutes with her.

  “I offered to give her a tour of the castle. I told her it was so she wouldn’t get lost again, but the truth was I just wanted to spend some more time with her. Her musical laugh soon had me laughing along.

  “Before we knew it, it was after midnight. I think it’s fair to say I fell for her hard.”

  I shrug self-consciously and pull the story up short. I didn’t mean to tell her quite so much, but once I started, it was hard to stop. I manage to stop myself before I really reveal too much though.

  I don’t tell Fish about how my hands were shaking when I leaned in to kiss Nikki goodbye that night. Or how soft her hand was when she touched my cheek. I don’t tell her how I thought Nikki was the one. I don’t tell her about the times we battled side by side and she risked her life to save me and the others.

  I don’t tell her about the time Nikki told me she had never been happier than she was when she was with me. And I certainly don’t tell her that in some ways, I think Nikki saved me from myself.

  “She sounds nice,” Fish says thoughtfully. “I can see why you liked her. And I can see why you can’t get over her death.”

  She sees me frown.

  “I know things.” She shrugs. “But I still don’t see what any of this has to do with me.”

  I don’t want to tell her about the moment I let Nikki down. It was the worst moment of my life. It felt like someone had ripped part of my soul out and shredded what was left. But what I’m asking her to do is risky, and she deserves to know the truth—that to me, at least, this isn’t about material gain.

  I sigh.

  “It wasn’t just that Nikki died. It was the way it happened,” I start.

  I cast my mind back to that day. A day I want to forget, but can’t.

  “I had a really special night planned for us. I was meeting Nikki at the warehouse and I was taking her to her favorite Snap shop,” I begin.

  Snaps are candies that angels can eat that give them momentary powers. They come in different flavors and different portions of time. For example, you can eat a “Fire” snap that gives you the power to breath fire for three, five, or seven minutes, depending on the kind you purchased.

  “You were going to take her to a Snap shop, so what happened?” Fish asks.

  “This particular shop was making Snaps in the form of what humans would consider ice cream. She had been talking about this for some time and I wanted to make it a night to remember. She wanted to try the ‘arctic’ flavor Snap—it would give her the power to make snowflakes using just her breath.

  “I planned on getting whatever Snaps she wanted. Then I had a picnic planned where we could go whale watching and see the Northern lights on the side of a mountain in Iceland. I’d known for a while that I had fallen for her, and I was pretty sure she felt the same. That night was going to be our first anniversary. Instead, it was the night she died.

  “I had gone into town to buy something special for Nikki, and that’s when I saw Summit. I’d been quietly tailing her at that point. I don’t know why. She just kind of caught my attention. I felt something for her, but I tried to push it away because I knew what I had with Nikki was perfect.

  “She was in town. She was walking along, when someone grabbed her and pulled her into an alleyway. It all happened so fast, I wasn’t sure if it was a friend of hers playing a joke on her, or something more serious, but I knew I had to find out.

  “I followed them, ducking behind a dumpster. It was a man who had her. He looked a little older than her, and she seemed more annoyed than afraid. As I watched, though, it became obvious she didn’t know him.

  “He kept making comments about how pretty she was and how she should be with him. She laughed them off and went to walk away. I didn’t know whether to step in and risk everything or not. Everything I’d been told said I should let it play out. But every instinct in my body was screaming for me to go to her. I made a split-second decision to go to her. As I stood up, Milo rushed into the alley and dragged Summit away.

  “When I thought she was in danger, my world stopped turning, and I knew in that moment that as much as I loved Nikki, it wasn’t enough. I was literally willing to risk the fate of the entire world to make sure nothing happened to her.

  “The idea of Summit getting hurt stopped me in my tracks. It felt like I had no control. All my logic
and reason just flew out the window. I don’t know how I knew it, but I did. I knew that this was the girl I was meant to be with.”

  Fish frowns at me, and I rush on.

  “I didn’t do anything with Summit. I didn’t even talk to her. Not then. But I knew. I watched her from afar. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. By the time she walked off with Milo, arms locked together, disappearing into a small cafe, safe and well, I was already late to meet Nikki and I hadn’t picked anything out for her. I texted her saying I was on my way, and she didn’t answer.

  “She wasn’t the type to get mad about something like that. She wouldn’t have ignored my text because I was late. She was more likely to have laughed at my inability to keep time. I knew something was wrong. I raced to the warehouse, but I was too late. When I got there, the sidewalk was covered in blood. The only thing left of her was this.”

  I pull a silver locket out of my jeans pocket. Even now, I carry that locket everywhere with me. It was special to Nikki, and that makes it special to me.

  “I was too late. And now she’s dead because of me.”

  I don’t tell her that I would still choose Summit every damn time. I hate myself for knowing it, but it’s the truth. I would choose Summit over the entire world, angel or human.

  I rush on with the story in case I end up spewing out the truth.

  “She must have been overwhelmed by lower-level demons. Normally she could take them on, but I’m guessing they outnumbered her or took her by surprise. The point is there was nothing left. I failed her. And now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

  Fish doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense that I need a moment. I force the memories back down. I can’t live in the past any longer.

  I go on, relieved to be in safer territory now as I tell her about what I need her to do.

  “Omnis gave a gift to the royal family of the Quos. The Whitehalls. And as I’m sure you know, they have a party every year where high-ranking angel and Quo families are invited to their castle.

  “The gift Omnis gave them is somewhere in the vault. It’s in a gold box. And it’s said to be the cure for grief. If I can get my hands on that, the Drin will be gone.

  “And this isn’t just about me wanting Summit, Fish. It’s about the mission. Summit won’t allow me to be on the team if my life is in danger from the Drin. I don’t think she realizes how hard these missions are or how dangerous. She needs me there. They all do.

  “And that’s where you come in. I need you to sneak past security during the ball and get into the vault and find me that box.”

  Fish has listened in total silence. She still doesn’t speak, but I can see a catlike grin forming on her face.

  She’s going to do it.

  “Okay then, Hotshot, listen up,” she says. “I am going to do this on two conditions. We’ll get to those in a minute. First, I want you to know that I’m not doing this because you threatened me. I’m doing it because it sounds like a challenge and I love a challenge. If you ever threaten me with Grim again, I will see to it that your entrails are fed to a pack of hungry Nukes, are you with me?”

  I bite down the cutting response I feel creeping up. I don’t think she’s doing it because it’s a challenge or because I threatened her. I actually think I’ve managed to touch her a little.

  It won’t do to let her think I’ve worked that out.

  “The threat of the Grim was the only way to get you to hear me out,” I point out.

  She nods thoughtfully. “True. But that doesn’t mean I approve.”

  “Okay. No more threats,” I agree. “And what are your other conditions?”

  She grins. “I get to keep the box.”

  That’s an easy one. She will get enough for that to make it worth her while, and the box is of no use to me.

  “Done.”

  “The second one might be a bit harder,” she says, “but I’m sure someone resourceful like you can pull it off. You need to be at that ball and create a diversion so I can get in.”

  “Done,” I say again.

  I don’t want to drag the rest of the team into this, but she is leaving me no choice. I just hope they’ll do it.

  “Then we have a deal,” she says, sticking her hand out.

  I shake it, surprised to feel the warmth in her skin. Somehow, I expected it to be cold.

  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

  She winks at me and heads away.

  “I can’t believe you said you’d feed my entrails to the Nukes,” I call after her.

  She turns around with a laugh. “What? I love a good visual, don’t you?”

  With that, she’s back in the square, and within seconds, I’ve lost sight of her.

  Now I just have to convince the team to help me. And to keep it a secret from Summit.

  And I thought this was going to be the hard part!

  ***

  The first thing I notice when I slip into the empty classroom is that Parker is missing. I sent texts to the whole team except Summit, and all of them agreed to meet me here.

  Parker even went so far as to send me a lecture over text about running off when I should have been in the clinic. And now she wasn’t here.

  “Where have you been?”

  “Why did you leave the clinic?”

  “Are you okay?”

  Ryder, RJ, and Nix fire their questions at me at the exact same time.

  I hold up my hands in mock surrender.

  “I swear I’ll explain everything, but I need Parker here too. Where is she?”

  Ryder and RJ exchange a grin. “She’s too embarrassed to come.” RJ laughs.

  “What?” I demand.

  “She was on some sedatives at the hospital. They made her talk in her sleep, and these two won’t stop winding her up about it,” Nix explains.

  “Oh, Nix. I love you, Nix.” RJ laughs.

  “Let it go already,” Nix says, blushing.

  I don’t have time for this. The ball is tonight and I need to know the team will have my back.

  I pull my cell phone out and text Parker. I tell her the meeting is important and ask her to come.

  A couple of minutes later, she enters.

  “Not a word,” she says.

  She glares at Ryder and RJ and makes a point of not looking at Nix.

  “What’s so important? Where’s Summit?” Parker asks.

  RJ makes kissy noises, and Parker throws a pencil at him.

  “Grow up,” Nix snaps.

  “Awww, he’s defending her honor. How sweet,” RJ laughs, still rubbing his arm where the pencil hit him.

  “Seriously, guys, drop it okay?” Nix says. “Parker, I know you were delirious or whatever and that it didn’t mean anything. Can we just go back to being normal again?”

  Parker nods, but she still doesn’t look at him.

  “Guys, I need your help with something at the ball tonight,” I tell them. “There’s something there that I need. Something that can cure my Drin. And I’ve arranged for a way to get it tonight. That’s where I’ve been. But I need to create a diversion. I have a plan, but it’s going to need us all to work on it.”

  That’s not entirely true, but I will have a plan by the time tonight comes.

  “I’m in,” Parker says instantly.

  “Me too,” RJ and Nix say together.

  “What does Summit have to say about this?” Ryder asks.

  “I haven’t told her. And you can’t either,” I say. “She’ll say it’s too dangerous.”

  Ryder grimaces. “She doesn’t like secrets, man. This could come back to bite you in the ass.”

  I shrug.

  “Do you have a better idea?” I ask. “You know you need me on the team, and Summit isn’t going to budge on this while I’m still suffering from the Drin.”

  “So, you would agree that sometimes you have to keep things from people in order to protect their feelings?” Ryder presses.

  Parker throws him a
glare.

  I nod. “Yeah, I guess so,” I agree.

  “Then count me in,” Ryder says, smiling smugly back at Parker.

  I have no idea what’s going on here, but there’s something more than just Parker talking in her sleep. I have to work on the plan for tonight, though, and the rest, well I’ll figure that out once I’m back on the team.

  “See you there tonight then,” I say and leave the classroom.

  I want to get away before anyone spots me. The last thing I need is one of The Face’s lectures about skipping school.

  As I walk down the corridor, my thoughts on what we can do to cause a diversion that isn’t too obvious, I spot her.

  Summit is headed to class but she spots me; we both pause, frozen for a moment as our eyes meet. I swallow so loudly I’m sure she can hear it. In that moment, I want to tell her everything. I want her to know just how I far I will go to make this right, but something stops me. It’s her eyes. They are looking at me differently than were before. There’s a formality in them that wasn’t there before.

  Lucas, you’re overthinking it.

  I say hello as she walks by. She nods briefly as she makes her way past me. A dull ache spreads across my chest. It’s not all in my head. Summit has decided to turn off her feelings for me—for my own good. And while I will do anything to get the box, the fact of the matter is, I may be too late. I can fight off the Drin in me, but that means nothing if she no longer wants us to be together.

  Damn. Is it too late for us? Am I in love, alone?

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN: TAKE A CHANCE

  Okay, I will not allow my mind to go there—I can’t. I have to stay focused on getting rid of the Drin. That’s what’s important right now. I haven’t been lurking around some of the most repulsive characters in the Angel world to give up now. No! If I can just make her see how much she means to me, and how far I’m willing to go to be with her, then she’ll come around. Won’t she?

  The truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know if running out on her when she kicked me off the team was the last straw. I don’t know if the fact I haven’t bothered to call or text her since that moment has turned her against me for good. But mostly, I don’t know how strong her feelings for me are. I know she likes me. Hell, I’m not stupid, but I don’t know if that’s enough.