Avoiding Responsibility

by craziebabe45

  "You told me," she said defiantly.

  "I thought you deserved the truth. I could see where Ramsey's head was with you and couldn't hold it in. I didn't want your world to come crashing down around you…like mine did." Parker bit her lip anxiously before continuing. She knew Ramsey wouldn't be pleased with her statements, but at least it confirmed his story that they didn't talk about these things. "But honestly, I haven't told the whole story to anyone in a very long time and Ramsey I doubt has ever told anyone."

  "Well fine you don't normally tell people about it, but did you have to lie?" Lexi questioned him. "Couldn't you have just told me that she existed so I wouldn't be blindsided? Why did I have to hear her side first?"

  "Lexi I told you I don't have an excuse. This is what Parker and I always did. We didn't tell people what happened. Parker was the only one who ever told and she always seems to get there first with her distorted version of reality," Ramsey grumbled. Lexi could tell just by the reactions of both parties that they had argued about this before and rather often.

  "My reality isn't distorted," Parker sputtered looking up from where she was seated. "I was there. I actually know what happened. You weren't even there for everything…"

  "Because you left! We argued and you left. How could I talk to you about it?"

  "Ancient history," Parker said with a sad shoulder shrug.

  "And you told her you miscarried," he spat at her his anger bubbling up again.

  "Ramsey I did," she moaned a tear rolling down her cheek at the mention of her lost pregnancy. She sounded as if she had said this same thing many times. Lexi wondered how many times she had tried to convince Ramsey that she had miscarried. She wondered if Parker actually had. She just didn't know.

  He shook his head in disbelief. "And you believe her?" Ramsey asked turning on Lexi.

  Lexi didn't know if she truly believed Parker's side, but she was even more uncertain about Ramsey. "She's not the one who's been lying to me from the beginning. I don't see why I should believe you?" she told him. "Does an abortion that sent you over the edge sound any more plausible in your story?" Lexi asked crossing her arms over her chest.

  "Can't anyone else see the truth but me?" he demanded turning around in a quick circle his arms out before him as if pleading with an unseen audience.

  "What's the truth?" Lexi asked harshly. "It's hard to when you've lied about so much else."

  "Did she skim over the parts about Bekah's involvement?" he asked taking the argument back to day one. He had never been able to put the pieces together properly at first. He realized suddenly one day quite some time ago that it was because he had been missing a piece. Bekah's involvement was the trigger, and he knew that Parker hadn't told Lexi that.

  Lexi looked at Parker whose face had gone as white as a sheet. "She told me she would save me the details," Lexi said knowing for some reason that it was the answer Ramsey had been expecting.

  Ramsey gritted his teeth in an attempt to keep his anger in check. Of course, she had skimmed over the details. Parker still refused to see what she had actually done. She held herself together behind a wall that he had never been able to break through. "Did you ever wonder why she wanted to save you the details?"

  "No, I just thought it was personal. I didn't really know there was a connection."

  "I understand why you didn't see it to begin with," he growled a man possessed. She could see it all over him that he had been obsessed with this very issue at one point. The look of figuring out what had happened that week had taken him over, and he hadn't been content until he had figured everything out. "It took me a long time to finally realize what had happened in that week."

  "Ramsey," Parker pleaded her voice shaking with every syllable. "You put the pieces together wrong. They didn't happen that way." By now Parker's body was trembling just at the very thought that he was going to bring up his idea of what had happened between them. That had been the most traumatic experience of her life, and him treating it so cavalierly in front of her made her nauseous.

  "What are you trying to say?" Lexi asked.

  "Parker saved you the details of my sister going over there and convincing her to get rid of the baby," he stated stoically.

  Lexi couldn't help it, she gasped. "No," she murmured not wanting to see what was in front of her. "You think she did that? You think that about your own sister?" She had to ask. She hated Bekah, but to do that against your own brother who she loved. Lexi found it hard to believe.

  "After everything you know about Bekah, you somehow can't believe that she would do that?" Ramsey asked in disbelief.

  Lexi thought it over. She didn't have a good opinion of Bekah. In fact, she thought Bekah was one of the worst person she had ever met. She despised Bekah. But this even seemed low for her.

  Yet, Lexi knew how Bekah operated. No matter how much she loved her brother. No matter how close their bond was, she still only worked one way. She did whatever directly benefited her. Lexi knew that she was like this first hand. She had only invited Lexi down to meet her with the intention of destroying her relationship with Jack so Bekah could have him all to herself. So how could this benefit her? How could her convincing Parker to have an abortion benefit her?

  Lexi just couldn't draw a connection. This was Parker's best friend. They had known each other since childhood. It was her brother's baby. Granted, it was a baby that he didn't know about until it was too late, but still…this was going to be Bekah's niece. Why would she just get rid of it?

  Then it hit her. It felt like a light bulb had been turned on in her mind. She knew exactly how Parker getting rid of her baby niece would benefit Bekah. It would safe her reputation and the reputation of her family. Bekah would never want to be involved in anything that was scandalous…anything that could somehow come back to be directly related to her. It didn't matter what damage emotionally this would do to her brother or Parker. It didn't matter how this would ultimately destroy their relationship. It didn't matter that she would lose her best friend…or at least the easy relationship they had once had. All that mattered was what irreparable damage this would do to her family's status. All she could possibly think about was how this would affect her in this situation.

  Lexi knew Ramsey must have come to this same conclusion. He knew Bekah better than anyone else. For some reason it seemed more logical than any of the other things that had been confessed all night. Bekah was a big enough bitch to convince her own best friend to get rid of her own brother's baby without telling him to save the Bridges name.

  "She did it for herself," Lexi murmured softly seeing it clearly.

  "How did you come to that same conclusion?" Parker asked standing a bit too quickly. She wobbled heavily on her two feet as she stared slack jawed at Lexi.

  "Because it's the only thing that makes sense," Ramsey responded.

  "It doesn't make sense. Why would I lie about this? I know what happened. I was there," Parker told him. "And you weren't."

  Ramsey shook his head despondently. "Let's not have this argument again Parker. Please. I know I wasn't there. I know I made mistakes, but not anymore or less than you did. Can we please drop it?"

  "How could you even look at her again once you figured it out?" Lexi asked in disbelief that he could still be a devout brother.

  He shrugged getting that knowing look in his eye. "She's my sister. She might have done some terrible things, but I love her. How could she have known what this would have done or that I would have ever figured it out?"

  Lexi thought it was incredibly short sighted to believe that Bekah didn't know what it would do. Bekah played a game. She wove her web and typically knew exactly where the pieces would fall. Then again, Lexi was a bit jaded about Bekah's involvement in any scenario.

  "Well," Lexi said spinning on Parker, "I guess since I know about as much truth about that situation as you both can agree on, can you at least tell me that he hasn't lied to me about anything else? Do you know if he's lied to me? You two have be
en awful chummy since you got back to town. I'm sure you would know something."

  Parker gave Ramsey a knowing look before quickly turning away. "I…I don't know."

  "You think I can't see what's going on here? I see the looks between you two. I'm not stupid," she yelled at the both of them. "I've done a lot of stupid things before and I've lied and I've made mistakes, but this is just different. I've come clean about my past, about everything. I've put it behind me. And to think that you don't even have the decency to do the same…to even tell me about it. To try and hide it behind silly looks that you two pass between each other. Well I've had enough!"

  Ramsey ran his hands through his hair unable to believe that this was really happening right now. After everything he had gone through to get to this point, everything was slipping so easily out of his fingers. "I lied about something else," he admitted.

  "What?" Lexi cried sinking into a chair in disbelief. "After I stood here and yelled at you for however long, you still held something back from me. What? Have you and Parker been seeing each other behind my back? Have you been cheating on me just like you cheated on her?" she asked throwing her hand out in Parker's direction.

  "I never cheated on Parker," he gasped out his head looking into Parker's hurt face. "Did you tell her I cheated on you?"

  "No, Ramsey, I didn't," she said hating this conversation more and more. She had kind of implied that he had cheated on her, but she hadn't come right out and said it. She knew it wasn't the truth that he hadn't done it, but that night still hurt her to think about. "I swear. I would never make that mistake again."

  "I never cheated on her," he bellowed. "Never!"

  "Oh you just got drunk and had naked women in your apartment who…what did you say?" she asked Parker. "Would suck your dick at a snap of your fingers?"

  "You said that Parker, really?" he asked shaking his head side to side slowly as if he couldn't believe his ears. "After everything you still can't get over that night. I told you nothing happened. It was for Brad and Jason. Why can you still not believe me?"

  Parker stared at him helpless, hopelessly. She couldn't get any words out.

  "Probably because you lie," Lexi whispered into the stillness.

  He sighed heavily before slumping in the seat behind his desk exhausted. "I never cheated on Parker. There were girls over at my apartment that night but I never nor would I ever do anything like to her…or to you," he added quickly. "If I had ever wanted to be with someone else, I would have just broken up with you. But I didn't then," he said glancing at Parker, "and I don't want to now." Lexi met his eyes as they landed on her face.

  "Yet you lied about something else. It's hard to believe what you're spouting when you just told me that you lied…again," she said feeling tears spring into her eyes. She hadn't even realized how emotional she had gotten. All she had felt through this ordeal was anger. She couldn't believe he would just lie over and over and over again to her. She had been purely angry with his reactions and his answers. The last thing she had even thought about was getting emotional. Yet, the thought that he was now admitting that he still hadn't told her the whole truth made her want to break down in tears. The lies seemed endless.

  Ramsey sighed heavily knowing she was going to hate him for this. "I…I got you that job at the law firm here."

  "What?" she cried feeling the automatic need to punch something. "Are you fucking kidding me Ramsey? You interfered with my job? What did you not think I was smart enough to get that job? Did you not think I had enough money to get that job? What was it? I don't understand how you could go behind my back like that. No wonder it just fell into my lap. I made the mistake of acting like I was so smart…that I was so much more qualified than the rest of the applicants. You made me look like a fool. No wonder they were so easy with me. Did you tell them to do that too?"

  "I was just trying to help. I knew you'd never take a Bridges associate position, but I wanted you close. I wanted you in Atlanta. So I made some calls. It's not the end of the world," he finished lamely.

  "Not the end of the world? Not the end of the world?" she screamed nearing hysterics. "I had one thing that I was really good at. I worked my ass off all year long to get good grades so that I could get an amazing associate position hopefully paid. I put out applications everywhere. I applied everywhere. Then you go and tell me that you just got me this job. I didn't have to put in any of the work or the time. You just happened to know someone and drop the Bridges name and bam a job surfaces. God, it goes against everything that you stand for," she said looking him up and down like he was despicable. She knew on some level she should be happy that he had gotten her this job, but not this way. She couldn't be happy that he had gone behind her back like that. This was the one thing she still had to be proud of and he had taken that away too.

  "Lexi, please try and see it from my perspective. This job wasn't even really open. No one would have gotten it because they weren't hiring until I talked to them. You wanted to be close to me too. It's a good thing not a bad thing," he pleaded with her.

  "It could have been a good thing if you had been honest with me," she told him. "Instead you chose to lie to me. You chose to deceive me. I have nothing left that's mine. Your lies have permeated everything that is important to me. I don't know if I can talk to you anymore Ramsey until you find the truth," she said walking towards the door.

  He quickly ran after her. "The truth is I want to be with you. I went about it wrong, but it doesn't change how I feel," he said grabbing her elbow to stop her. She yanked her arm back pulling her shoulder too forcefully and sending a wrenching pain through it. "I know I made some mistakes, but they are minor Lexi. We can work through them. Please give me the chance to work through them."

  "How can I when I can't even look at you without seeing the lies all over you?" she asked taking another step backwards. "These lies were for you not for me. You lied to cover your past and your wealth and your importance. I just wanted you as you are. You wouldn't even give me that. Who are you?" she whispered.

  "I'm yours," he said following her down the barren hallway. "I'm all yours."

  "You can't be mine," she said shaking her head. "Someone who belongs to me is able to give themselves over to me. I gave myself to you and all you did was abuse my trust."

  "Please let me try to fix this," he begged seeing her slipping through his fingers.

  "You can't. I think this is it Ramsey. I can't date someone for a year and then find out I never knew who he was," she said weakly hating even saying the statement. She knew it was true but her heart was breaking at the thought of being without him.

  "I can. I can fix this Lexi. You know who I am. I swear you do."

  "Good bye Ramsey," she said standing on her tip toes and kissing him softly on the mouth. He pulled her tight against him trying to deepen the kiss, trying to remind her of what he could give her. She pressed her hand against his cheek and broke away from his lips. "Please don't call me," she added breaking away from him, rushing out the back door, and into her car.

  She revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. The weight of what had just happened settled over her and she found that she didn't even have tears to cry for what she had just done. She cared for Ramsey more than she had ever thought, but now all she could see was the tangle of lies surrounding him. She couldn't help but wonder how different he actually was from Bekah. Perhaps this deception ran in the family. That thought alone held her tears back.

  She was driven by one thought: she needed to get back to New York. She needed out of this god forsaken town and out of this oppressive heat. She needed to get away from the smog of the commuter city and back to her home with its own smells and intricacies. As swiftly as she could she piled the majority of her belongings into her two largest suitcases and departed for Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. She purchased the next plane ticket out of town not even bothering to cringe at the expensive fare.

  As she sat down in the terminal awaiting her flight,
she wondered who she should call to have her pick her up. Suddenly she realized she would be even more alone in New York with her roommate, Rachelle, working out of town and Chyna in Milan at her photo shoot. Lexi cursed out loud, much to the chagrin of an old married couple and a teenage mom toting around four obnoxious children, when she realized that they were about to board and she had no one to pick her up when she arrived in town.

  Nodding to herself she realized, in fact, she did have one person and quickly jotted out a text message briefly explaining the situation and asking if she could be picked up in a couple hours. Surprisingly she got an almost immediate reply.

  "Good to hear from you. Sorry about the circumstances. I'll be there when you land. –Adam."

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  K.A. Linde

  Epic Baggage

  Come on and we'll try, one last time

  I'm off the floor one more time to find you

  And here we go there's nothing left to choose

  And here we go there's nothing left to lose

  -Mat Kearney "Nothing Left To Lose"

  * * *

  Chapter 23: Present

  Lexi rolled over letting her arm stretch languidly over her head. She kept her eyes closed savoring the last few seconds of grogginess before she had to get out of bed. She smiled as she sank back further into the soft down pillow under her head and stretched her body out under the comforter. Her hands brushed up against the hard wood headboard, and she blushed thinking about how she had used the headboard last night.