The Dom Who Loved Me (Masters and Mercenaries)

by Lexi Blake

  “I love you, Grace.” He breathed the words like a mantra against her skin.

  “Elephant.”

  The word cut through his bliss, and his head came up instantly. She couldn’t have said it. “What?” The words sounded dumb to his ears.

  Her hazel eyes were wide and filled with tears. “I said elephant.”

  Her arms fell to her sides, and her legs unfurled. She withdrew as surely as though she had walked across the room.

  Sean felt a flare of panic. She didn’t believe him. It was the only explanation. “Grace, I love you. I love you so much.”

  Her face contorted. She was losing control. She pushed at him. “I said my safeword. I want you to go.”

  His heart pounding, Sean got up. Despite his every muscle protesting, he pulled his body from hers. He stared down at her, impotent against the weapon she had against him. “Baby, don’t do this. I love you. You have to believe me.”

  He wanted to stay with her. The alpha male in him wanted to force his way back inside her. He could make her accept him. The Dom took a step back.

  Grace curled into a ball and turned away from him. “I asked you to leave. I want to be alone, Sean. I used my safeword.”

  “I love you. I won’t not say it because you’re scared.” He gathered his clothes, his heart as heavy as a rock. “I love you.”

  Closing the door between them was the hardest thing he’d ever done.

  * * * *

  Grace sat up in bed. The clock on the nightstand read 3:00. She knew immediately that it was a.m. She ran a hand across her face. She’d been crying in her sleep. Would she ever stop crying? Her body felt heavy, every muscle tired. Her mouth, on the other hand, was parched beyond belief. Grace stared at the door that led to the hallway. Was she locked in?

  She pulled on the robe that had been left for her. She was going to find out. If she was a prisoner here, then they had better be prepared for her to make a few complaints. The only thing she had to drink in this room was the wine Sean had left behind. Though getting drunk was tempting, Grace decided it wasn’t a good idea. She needed water.

  She caught a glimpse of herself in the big mirror over the dresser. Wow. She looked tired. Her eyes were puffy and red. She wasn’t a woman who cried prettily. She stared at herself and wondered how Sean could have told her she was gorgeous. She patted down her hair, trying to make it seem less like a rat’s nest. There wasn’t anything she could do until morning. Then she would demand that someone take her home. She had to be at the office. She had to act like everything was normal.

  Tentatively, Grace put her hand on the doorknob and tried to turn it. To her surprise, it immediately opened. She nearly tripped over the body in the doorway.

  Sean sat up and stared at her. Even in the dark hallway, she could see that his face was set in mulish lines. The left side of his face was deeply creased as though he’d been lying on something. “Where are you going?”

  “To get a drink of water. What are you doing here?”

  He rolled his head around and groaned at the pain. He stretched, apparently trying to get the circulation back in his limbs. “I can’t leave you alone. You won’t let me in our bed. This is the closest you would let me get, so I’m sleeping here.”

  She wanted to laugh, but stopped herself. He looked so serious and boyish at the same time. His hair was falling in his face, softening the normally harsh lines. She wanted more than anything to believe him. When he’d said I love you, she’d panicked. It had hurt so much when she’d realized Sean had lied that she simply couldn’t do it again. She’d spent the last several hours thinking about what a relationship with Sean would be like. They were too far apart. He was just starting his life. Though there was only eight years between them, there was a wealth of experiences he hadn’t had. He’d never been married, never had children. She had two in college. Could she start over?

  Of course, it might be a moot point. They hadn’t been careful. He’d taken her a couple of times without a condom. The thought didn’t panic her the way it should, but his job was enough anxiety to send her running. Even if he was telling the truth, she didn’t think she could live with him knowing that every day could be his last. His job was dangerous. She had already lost one man she loved. She didn’t think she could go through that again.

  “So, are you going to let me by?” It came out more grumpily than she intended.

  He was on his feet in an instant. Where a sleepy boy had been before, now an intensely alert man stood in his place. He gestured down the hall. “The kitchen’s that way.”

  She heard low voices as she got closer to her destination.

  “Looks like you’re not the only insomniac.” Sean pushed at the swinging door that led into the gorgeous gourmet kitchen. Everything about the room was shiny and modern. Jake and Eve sat at the island in the middle of the room. It was covered in pretty, black granite. They each had a mug of something in front of them and a sandwich. They were talking in low tones. They both looked up and smiled when the door opened.

  “Hello, Grace.” Jake nodded her way. “I was just getting Eve’s opinion on how to keep my best friend alive.”

  “Keep him away from Grace,” Sean said under his breath.

  Eve looked between Grace and Sean, her eyes seeming to read the body language. “I was telling Jake that once Adam realizes Sean is dead serious about Grace, he’ll move on. Now that Sean has announced he’s going to marry Grace, I think Adam will accept it.”

  Sean sighed and crossed to the cabinet. He shuffled around behind her.

  “We’re not getting married,” Grace replied with a frustrated huff. How many people had Sean told? Had he sent out invitations?

  Jake grinned, the curling of his lips lightening his brooding good looks. “I think I might take that bet. The Sarge is used to getting his way.”

  “He could have been a bit more subtle, though. Sean, next time throw a nice party when you have a big announcement,” Eve said. “Just about anything would be better than the way you announced it.”

  “What did you do?” Grace asked the question with a sort of breathless anticipation.

  Jake laughed. “What he always does. He punched the shit out of his brother and told Ian he was marrying you, and he could like it or fuck off.”

  Grace turned, shocked at Jake’s words. She’d gotten the idea that Sean was close to Ian. “You got in a fight with your brother?”

  He shrugged and handed her a glass of water before kneeling to look for something in the bottom cabinet. He came back up with a small pan. “He pissed me off. Omelet or grilled cheese?”

  “Grilled cheese,” she said automatically. She shook her head, not willing to give up the conversation. “Why would you hit your brother?”

  Jake sat back on his barstool. “It’s a thing they do. Some families hug or have long discussions, Ian and Sean Taggart beat the shit out of each other. It’s their way. You’ll get used to it. Thanksgivings are fun. You should see what happens when Ian starts to give Sean menu advice.”

  “I don’t tell His Highness how to run his business, he should keep his nose out of my kitchen,” Sean growled.

  Eve was shaking her head. “That is such bullshit. Little Tag tells Big Tag how to run his business all the time.”

  “Little Tag?” Grace had to ask. They couldn’t be talking about six-foot-three-inch, two–hundred-twenty pounds of pure muscle Sean.

  Sean flushed slightly as he ducked into the huge double-door fridge.

  “Ian’s bigger and older,” Jake explained. “From what I understand, everyone’s called them that since they were in school.”

  She couldn’t imagine anyone calling Sean little, but Ian did have a couple of inches on him. Of course, Sean was way more handsome. “They should call them Sexy Tag and Sexier Tag.”

  Sean slid the most decadent smile her way. He winked. “Thanks, babe.”

  “And how do you know I’m not the sexier one?” Ian’s deep voice startled Grace. Grace noted t
hat Eve and Sean didn’t flinch, as though they had known he was there all along. The six-foot-five-inch man filled up the doorway. He was in a pair of pajama bottoms and nothing else. He still wasn’t as hot as Sean.

  “I know.” Sean gave his brother a superior look and went back to his frying pan. Already Grace could smell something heavenly. “I know my Grace. You’re not her type.”

  Grace nearly laughed. Though they were practically twins, Sean was right. There was something dark about Ian Taggart that simply didn’t exist in his younger brother. Sean could brood and emote with the best of them, but there was always a light in his eyes. Ian looked a bit like a man who never laughed.

  “I thought you were dealing with your subs,” Eve said, staring at the big man. There wasn’t a bit of desire in the lovely blonde’s eyes, merely the teasing look of a little sister. “What’s wrong, Ian? Did the pain sluts finally realize you’re never going to collar them?”

  Grace leaned close to Eve. “There was more than one?”

  Eve’s lips turned up in a conspiratorial grin. “Almost always. They call him all hours of the night and beg him to spank them.”

  “They have names, Eve.” Ian glared down at her.

  “Do you remember their names?” Jake asked.

  Ian’s brows slashed together in an intimidating V. “How about we keep the discussions of my private life to a minimum around the newcomer?”

  Eve rolled her eyes. “She’s not vanilla, Ian. She’s not going to have heart palpitations because she hears that you like to spank women. I think she’s figured out that it’s a family trait. Besides, it’s best to get it all out in the open now before she runs into your groupies and they start calling you Master.”

  Ian’s eyes narrowed. Grace felt the weight of his stare. “That’s not what she calls Sean.”

  Sean flipped the pan with the ease of long practice and caught the sandwich on the other side. He shot a look back at his brother. “Is that seriously your problem with her? Your problem with Grace is that we’re not in a twenty-four/seven relationship? When was the last time you were in a serious relationship, Ian?”

  Ian’s icy eyes slid across her. “She doesn’t even have a collar, Sean.”

  Eve sighed. “I’m afraid Ian takes his lifestyle very seriously, Grace. You find yourself in the middle of a family argument. Think of it as a belief system. This is Ian’s belief system, and he’s passed it on to his brother. Ian practically raised Sean, you know. Ian’s worried his brother can’t be happy in a vanilla relationship.”

  “He’s thinks I’m a brat or a SAM.” Grace looked pointedly at Ian, who seemed a bit shocked she knew the lingo. SAM stood for smart ass masochist. A brat was pretty much the same. Both were a type of submissive a true Dom would avoid. She wasn’t completely ignorant. Sure, she’d gotten a lot of her information from romance novels, but she’d been on the Internet, too.

  Sean slid the sandwich on a plate. “I told you she’s not a tourist. She’s already accepted me as her Dom. Just because Grace and I choose not to be twenty-four/seven doesn’t mean we’re not practicing in private. And it’s hard for her to wear her collar when she throws it in my face.”

  He patted a barstool and put the plate down. He looked at her, a challenge in his eyes. She thought briefly about telling him to go hell and then practicality set in. Her stomach growled, and she really wanted that sandwich. Also, she couldn’t embarrass him in front of his brother. Openly disobeying him when they were having a discussion about Sean’s ability to handle her seemed a bit mean. She didn’t like Ian poking into their business, either.

  “Thank you,” she said as sweetly as possible. She hopped onto the chair.

  Sean’s satisfaction was an almost palpable thing. He kissed her forehead and urged her to give the sandwich a try. “Besides, she doesn’t need a collar. She’ll have a ring on her finger as soon as we pick one.”

  Grace opened her mouth to protest because she wasn’t going to marry him to soothe his pride. Sean quickly shoved the sandwich in before she could get a word out. Grace would have spat it out, but it was heaven. The bread was crisp and buttery while the cheese was perfectly melted. She had been so wrong. She had thought sex was Sean’s weapon against her, but damn, the man could cook.

  He grinned down at her. “It’s not your normal grilled cheese, little one. I used a smoky Gouda on whole wheat and fried it in a little bit of truffle oil. I like to take comfort food and give it a gourmet flare. One day I’ll make you my version of mac and cheese.”

  Eve’s eyes glazed over. “Seriously, it’s amazing. It’s nothing like what comes out of a box. If he weren’t like my brother, I would have been all over him the first time he made that spaghetti thing.”

  “Lobster Alsace. I got the recipe from a restaurant in Venice.” Sean turned and started to clean up.

  “You know, Sean, as long as you’re cooking…” Ian looked down at Grace’s plate. She pulled it closer, not willing to share.

  “Kitchen’s closed. I used all the cheese on Grace’s sandwich.” Sean turned his back on his brother. Grace could sense the tension between them. What had Ian said to get Sean to hit him? She was sure it was about her.

  Ian placed both hands on the island countertop and stared at Grace.

  “Are you going to be able to get through tomorrow?” His tone suggested he believed she wouldn’t.

  “Of course.” Grace had the story down. She’d gone over her cover endlessly with Mr. Black. She had left work early with some friends and then Sean Johansson had called. He was back in town, and he’d wanted to see her. She’d spent the night with him and didn’t know about what happened to Kayla until that morning. Once someone told her, she could give way to her real emotions, but she owed Kayla this.

  “Because if either of the Wright brothers gets a hint that you’re lying, I have no doubt that we’ll lose them.” Ian looked like a man who didn’t appreciate having a rookie in on his operation. He had mentioned that to the CIA guy a couple of times. “If Evan Parnell goes to ground, we’ll lose our chance. We have to work on the assumption that Parnell has the information he wants to sell. He won’t just e-mail it to them. The United States scans for that sort of thing after 9/11. He’ll make a drop after he’s sure his money is secure. We have to catch him in the act. That’s the only way to take Parnell and the foreign agent down.”

  “I understand.” Grace knew the risks. That was why she had to keep it together.

  Sean was suddenly at her side. “Or we could just take Grace out of the equation all together. I’ll sweep in and take her away for a romantic getaway. She’ll need it. Everyone will understand. Her friend died. She needs some time.”

  “I’m not leaving, Sean,” Grace said wearily. Now that she had some food in her stomach, she was getting sleepy. So much had happened, she wanted to rest and maybe she’d wake up and it would all be a dream. Sean would be a boring IT director, and they could have a normal life. Until that happened, she had a part to play. “It’s going to happen at that party, I just know it. Matt’s been so insistent on us celebrating a contract that loses money. Why else would he push me so hard?”

  The party on Friday was the key. Parnell had to drop the information off in order to get paid. The party was perfect. There would be plenty of people and loud music. It was in a hotel, so no one would be surprised that there were strangers milling around. Of course, it all depended on her. She was the one who would make that party happen. Just as he seemed to use her for everything else, Evan Parnell was pulling her strings to cover his actions.

  “I agree with Grace. He’s making contact at that party. If he’s working with the Chinese, then he’ll have one shot. They don’t give you a second chance. He’ll need to make his drop at the appointed time, or risk losing his contact.” Ian crossed his arms over his massive chest.

  “Yes, he could get desperate. Another reason I don’t want Grace involved.” Sean’s voice was tight, and Eve’s fingers drummed across the table.

&nb
sp; “Boys, you had this argument earlier,” Eve pointed out. “It ended in violence, like everything between the two of you does. Grace has made her decision. Shelve it.”

  Ian didn’t seem interested in listening to the psychologist. “If you don’t want her to do it, then tell her no. Put a collar around her neck, or a ring on her finger, and tell her what to do.”

  Jake groaned and let his head fall to his hands. “You’re all stubborn bastards, you know that, right?”

  Grace’s stubborn bastard ignored Jake. Sean took a step toward his brother. “Maybe that would work with your subs, but Grace has a mind of her own.”

  “I think that’s probably the reason Ian has a problem with her,” Jake interjected.

  Ian turned on him. “I can fire you, you know.”

  “Promises, promises,” Jake said with a sigh. “I’m going to bed before this turns into another fist fight.”

  Ian ignored Jake, too. “My subs might not be permanent or even exclusive, but they are much more obedient. They follow the rules of our contract or they aren’t my subs for long. It’s why your relationship with Grace will most probably fail. You have no contract and no rules.”

  “Hey,” Grace started to defend herself. Eve held out a hand.

  The blonde got in between Sean and Ian, turning her face up to Ian’s. “You haven’t been tested the way Sean and Grace are being tested. You have no idea what you would do in their situation. You know I love you like a brother, Ian, but you’re wrong right now. You should back off. He’s not going to be swayed away from her.”

  “I wouldn’t be in a situation where I had a sub who refused to obey me.” Ian’s voice held the surety of a man who knew his own limits.

  Eve shook her head. “Grace isn’t doing this to be stubborn. She isn’t doing this because she wants revenge. She’s doing this because she knows she won’t be safe until this man is taken out, and Sean will do anything to make sure she’s safe. Sean’s in danger, too. You are misreading her, Ian. You’re doing it because you can’t see past what that woman did to you. Grace loves your brother. Oh, she might not admit it because he acted like an ignorant ass, but she does. I can see it in her eyes.”