Warrior's Dawn (Fire and Tears)
Page 11
Dust covered everything. No footprints on the floors. No one had trampled through the place in a while. That was good.
If they were lucky, some of the belongings her family had to leave behind were still upstairs. She pulled absently at her bloody, torn tunic. The way she looked now, she’d never be able to pass as anything but…
As the idea occurred to her, some of the pain of being here eased, giving her something else to concentrate on—doing what she was so good at doing for the war, collecting information.
But first she had to get Althir settled.
“Help me check the second floor,” she murmured. “If it’s clear, we should be safe here for a while.”
He didn’t comment, just followed silently. When they were sure the building was secure and hadn’t been occupied in some time, Mina showed him to a spare room—not her parents’ or her brother’s. The idea of Althir in her brother’s room made her throat close.
“There might be some spare clothing in that wardrobe. Take what you need. The water in the pumps should be good too, but be careful.”
“You’re hurt.” He nodded to the various patches of blood covering her tunic. “You need bandaging. Your shoulder is still bleeding where Talliah struck you.”
She tried to see the wound but gave up when the effort proved futile. All she could see was more blood. “None of it is going to kill me. I’ll see if I can find some bandages.”
“I’ll take care of it. Sit. You need to rest after the blood loss.”
“I’m fine, Althir. Just… Just…” She swallowed.
Being in her old home was proving a lot more difficult than she expected. The odd mixture of feeling safe and feeling empty here in this quiet monument to her once loving family had the tears leaking down her cheeks without her permission.
Althir’s eyes widened. “Mina. Are you more seriously hurt than you’re telling me? Where? What’s wrong?”
She would have laughed at the panic in his voice if she had the strength. Wiping the tears off with dirty hands, she shook her head. “It’s not the injuries. Don’t worry. I’m fine. I’ll be right back.”
She hurried into the hallway so she didn’t have to talk while memories and regret clogged her throat. Somehow, even having an elf here seemed wrong. And yet…
She remembered the way Althir had acted in the List chamber, his casual dismissal of her. He’d looked like he meant every word he said. She couldn’t spot any sort of lying or deception in the way he spoke with the Sorcerer. The betrayal of it had cut deep.
But then he’d signaled her to use her sword. And he’d killed the other elves—something that should not have been possible. Proving once again that there was more to him than she knew, more maybe than she wanted to see. The elf casually discussing sex and blood magic in the List chamber was the Althir she expected, the man she thought he was before setting out on this mission with him.
She’d started to believe he was different. And she couldn’t deny she wanted him to be because her feelings toward him had changed dramatically.
But which Althir was the real one? The one who would betray her so casually? Or the one who nearly panicked when she started to cry in front of him?
She had so many questions. She had to get her erratic emotions under control. Then she could talk over what had happened and what they needed to do to get back to friendly territory.
Stepping across the threshold into her former bedroom felt so natural and so odd all at once, she paused for a long time, just staring at the large bed and small desk by the window. A window she’d stared out, entertaining her naïve, innocent dreams for a future that would never be.
With a hard swallow, she went to the wardrobe in the corner. A few things remained, nothing of value—which would have been looted long ago—but a few well-worn garments had been left piled at the bottom of the wooden cabinet. She rifled through the dregs until she came up with a pair of trousers and tunic that would suit once they started back through the city. After a bit more digging, she found a dress that would fit her plan to get the information they needed to get back.
When she came up from the depths to toss the dress onto her bed, Althir stood in the doorway. She jumped a little, then cursed under her breath. “Damned silent elves,” she muttered.
“I found bandages and got some water to clean those cuts,” he said. “And all the blood.”
Self-consciously she touched her cheek. She probably looked like an escaped sacrifice. “You don’t have to do that. I can take care of it.”
“You wouldn’t be the first soldier whose wounds I’ve dressed. Sit.” He nodded to the bed.
“Female soldiers?” She raised her brows.
She’d have to take off her tunic for the wounds to be properly treated. But she did need to get all the blood off and some of the deeper wounds bandaged. The many cuts suited her plan, but the Chemist wouldn’t believe she hadn’t been bandaged at all before being sent to him.
Still, stripping off any of her clothing in front of Althir seemed a bad idea. Especially now, when she wasn’t entirely sure she could trust her instincts about him.
He put a fist over his heart. “On my best behavior. I promise. Even if the elf-fire rises.”
She sucked in a breath at the reminder. “What you said in the List chamber…”
“Was necessary to distract Talliah. I was lying.”
“Not about everything.”
He stepped into the room and motioned her toward the bed again. “Did you think I’d betrayed you?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “You sounded very…sincere.”
“That’s the hallmark of a superb liar. We make it sound like the truth. Now sit.”
She finally gave in because she did need help with the slice on the back of her shoulder. Keeping her back to him, she pulled her tunic off and tossed it into a corner. It was useless now. She’d use it as fuel in the heater later. She still had the material wrapped around her breasts, an alternative to a corset. She couldn’t function in the restrictive stays of a corset, but she couldn’t do without some binding to keep her full breasts from becoming an interference.
Some of the women had been able to toss aside everything besides thin chemises as undergarments. Mina wasn’t so lucky, as she was too well endowed to go without. But even with the bindings, she still felt naked. She’d thought she’d lost all her modesty two years ago. Apparently not. At least not in front of Althir.
She heard his audible inhalation and glanced over her shoulder in time to see him scowling at her back.
The look helped ease some of her self-consciousness. “As bad as all that?” she asked, tempted to be amused by his dismay. “Must look pretty horrible for a seasoned warrior to flinch.”
He grunted something in his own language that she didn’t catch then took up a spot behind her on the bed with the bandages and bowl of water he’d brought.
“I’ve seen worse,” he muttered. “Or so I thought.”
She raised a brow. “None of these cuts are that bad. Unless that one on my shoulder goes deeper than I thought.”
“It’s just a slice, and no bone is showing.”
That was a relief. Still, his reaction puzzled her. “Why does it bother you, then?”
“It’s deep enough it could get infected,” he said.
Something in his tone sounded off, like he wasn’t saying everything there was to be said. But she let it go. She didn’t feel up to a word duel with him just yet.
The first tap of wet cloth against the cut made her hiss.
“Sorry. Can’t be helped.”
“I know,” she assured. “Just stings.”
She flinched a few more times as he worked, but otherwise remained still and silent. All the questions she had seemed to float just beyond her ability to grasp them. She was drained after the night, and she still had a lot to do before she could rest. The one good thing about the pain, it kept her mind off the gentle touch of Althir’s hands on her bare skin. Or at least
it mostly did. She was still very aware of how exposed her body was to him just then.
“That’s the shoulder and arm done,” he said, pulling her out of her daze. “The rest aren’t deep enough to bandage. But you have a serious cut on your thigh. I need to bind that one too.”
“I’ll take care of that one,” she said mildly.
“Don’t trust me?”
There was a wicked, sexy edge to his tone that surprised her. He’d been very careful to remain serious up to that point. She shook her head and flashed him a half smile, which was all the answer she was prepared to give.
“The vessel?” she asked instead, bringing the subject back to their current situation.
“I’ve got it stored in the wardrobe of the room you showed me to, hidden under some discarded clothes.”
She nodded. “Did you not find anything that would fit?” She gestured to the bloody clothes he still wore.
“I’ll clean up now. I wanted to make sure we got the bleeding stopped on your shoulder first.”
“Thank you.”
He held her gaze for a long moment and she stared back. Finally, he said, “I didn’t betray you.”
“I realize that now. You killed elves.”
“Is that the only reason you believe me?”
“It helps,” she said with a slight shrug.
“So all the guards before that didn’t give you a clue that I was on your side?”
She snorted. “They were trying to capture you and put you at the mercy of a Sorcerer. Of course you killed them. But the elves… I know you said it’s taboo, but everyone knows elves can’t kill other elves.”
“We don’t. Doesn’t mean we can’t. A point made very clear to me by Ulric not so long ago.”
She frowned. “What does that mean? You said he put a knife to your neck?”
“Nothing.” He tossed aside a cloth he’d been using to wipe blood from her wounds. The now pink rag landed with her discarded tunic. “Part of you still believes those lies I told.” He spoke quietly, his gaze on the wooden floor.
She shook her head, but he cut her off with a raised hand.
“It’s part of my charm, my magic. A double-edged sword. I can lie very convincingly. It’s why I can’t be lied to.”
She frowned. “You’ve said that before. Yet, the Sorcerers lied to you. Made promises you later found out they never intended to keep—”
“I knew!” he growled and slipped off the bed to pace across the room.
“What?”
“I knew. From the very beginning. From the moment Liroc approached me to see if I would be open to the Sorcerers’ offer. I knew everything was a lie.”
“You knew?” She wasn’t sure she believed that. “Then…why?”
He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “The rest of them bought the promises, the lies. The idiots never even suspected they were being used.” He continued to stalk around the room. “So I played along.”
“But why?”
“Because Ulric was right! Ulric is always right when it comes to strategy. The Sorcerers were going to invade Glengowyn as soon as they had enough power. So, yes, I went with the traitors, more’s the fool me. I had some damned idiotic notion I could get the proof necessary to make the king and queen change their minds about neutrality. I thought I could hand them a neat little box of information, things only I could uncover thanks to my oh-so-charming personality.”
“You were working as a spy?” That admission was too much to be believed.
He growled. “So deep undercover no one even suspected. Including my fucking brother, who just assumed I’d turned traitor. Bastard.”
Mina felt her world tilt ever so slightly to the left. “You’re trying to say you were never a traitor? You never lured any Sinnale across the border and into the hands of the Sorcerers?” Doubt laced her words, and she didn’t attempt to hide it.
“I never lured anyone,” he spat. “I managed a very cute game to avoid it while collecting all the information I could.”
“But you didn’t stop it.” Anger bit hard into her again. “And many of my people were taken because of the traitors.”
“If I’d stopped it, I would have given myself away. What information could I have collected then?”
“Information to help your people. Leaving mine to fend for themselves.” Her voice dropped to a lower register in her fury. How dare he try to justify his actions, to make them sound noble!
He stalked close and stood right in front of her, staring into her eyes. “If I’d gotten what I needed to, I would have brought the whole of Glengowyn might into the war. On your side of it. Those people lost to the traitors would have been lost anyway. But I wouldn’t have just gotten the weapons trade going again. I would have been able to bring our warriors into the fight. Do you understand? The information I was collecting would have turned this war around.”
“Then why didn’t you go to your king and queen? Everyone knows you turned yourself over to Ulric to save your own life. If you’d done such a great job, why do you have to hide from your own people now? Why do they still think you’re a traitor?”
She stood as she spoke, spitting and hissing with her growing anger, anger she couldn’t seem to control while in this place. “And those people who were lost weren’t just random casualties. They had families, people who loved them. People who still mourn!”
She stood toe to toe with him, but he didn’t back down under her anger, and he didn’t flinch.
“That’s what war is,” he said with quiet intensity. “Death and loss and devastation. And the reason I didn’t turn to my king and queen…” He sucked in a breath and finally looked away. “I never did get the proof that would have convinced them the Sorcerers intended to invade Glengowyn. My word, my suspicions, even backed by Ulric’s assertions, were never going to be enough. I needed something solid. And in all the information I managed to accumulate, none of it was proof enough for my sovereigns.”
“Then why turn yourself in? Why not keep going until you got the proof?” She didn’t back down from her anger because too much hurt mixed with it to let her go easily.
He cursed and stomped away from her so suddenly she blinked. When he whirled to face her, she couldn’t read the expression on his face.
“They found out… At least she did. The Sorcerer you killed tonight. She realized what I was doing. Smart bitch, that one. I still don’t know how she figured it out. The only reason I’m still alive is because I got word of her discovery before she could send anyone for me. I had time to make alternative plans.” He ground out the last two words like they tasted bad.
“Which were?”
“Take what I did have to the Sinnale council and hope it was enough for your people to end the damned war on their own.”
She fell silent as she considered his answer. “You thought my people would be gullible enough to trust you?”
“Your people don’t have to trust me to take the information I have and use it. And it’s been damned valuable too, hasn’t it?” he growled. “I have nearly brought this war to an end with what I did. With what we just did tonight, the war will end. If we can get that bloody List back to the council. Because of me.” He thumped his chest. “And who does every-bloody-one still turn to? My fucking brother—who almost killed me!”
She straightened her shoulders. “Why would he do that? How could he do that?”
“Because as I said before, elves can kill other elves. We just don’t. And the why is because he never trusted me, never listened to me, and always underestimated me. The why is because he’s an arrogant ass who got every fucking thing he ever wanted.”
“Jealousy? Sibling jealousy is behind all this?”
Althir spit out another curse and turned his back to her. “Of course you don’t understand. You probably think the sun rises and sets out Ulric’s arse. What the hell do you know?”
“I know what it’s like to lose a brother,” she said before she realized she would.
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The minute the words left her mouth, though, she regretted them. She pressed her lips together and glared at the floor. When Althir didn’t immediately say anything, she turned back to the bed.
“You need to leave now. I have to finish cleaning up, bandage the cut on my leg and then get dressed.”
“Why get dressed?”
“I can’t go out practically naked,” she drawled. “That would get entirely the wrong kind of attention.”
He was behind her, swinging her to face him without making a sound. “What the hell do you mean ‘go out’? Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“To do what I do best. Collect information. We’ll need to know what’s happening to get back to Sinnale territory.”
His hands clenched on her shoulders. “And how do you propose to do that when you look like you’ve been in a fight and there’s a dead Sorcerer not far from here? Do you have a death wish?”
At one point, not long after her brother…she’d wondered the same thing about herself. But right now, her mission was too important to risk throwing her life away before she was finished. “The cuts will work for me where I’m going. You’ve heard of the pain-pleasure servants, I presume.”
He sucked in a breath and dropped his grip. “No. Absolutely not. It’s too dangerous.”
“I’m not going into one of the centers. I’m going to the Chemist. He provides…potions, things to help the injuries heal so a pain-pleasure servant can get back to work quicker.”
Althir looked her over, his gaze lingering on her breasts for the first time since she’d stripped off her tunic. She’d nearly forgotten her state of undress. Having his attention shift down to her body brought back her self-consciousness, and she only kept herself from covering her breasts by an act of stubborn will.
Without lifting his gaze from her body, he said, “How will you get information from the Chemist?”
“A lot of information floats around his shop. They’ll be discussing the battle—is it still going on, who has the advantage… And they’ll know which Sorcerer died. I’ll be able to find out what the people are saying about that death.”