by GG Shalton
A maid entered. “So sorry, laird. A woman below is asking for Miss Tolland. She said she is her sister.”
Katherine wiped her face. “Please tell her to come up here.”
The maid nodded and walked away. Jakub leaned down. “I will come see you later.” Katherine nodded, and Marion left with her son.
Deanna entered the room with her mouth open, tears falling from her eyes. “Oh, my baby sister.” She ran over and embraced her. Katherine couldn’t even speak and just sobbed in her sister’s arms. “Dorian just told me what happened. I was on my way here to see you and just found out the news.”
“Please just don’t say anything. Just come lay beside me.”
Deanna lay down beside her rubbing her back. A few minutes later, the healer came into the room. She held a cup in her hand. “Excuse me, the laird sent me up with something to help her sleep.”
Deanna accepted it and helped Katherine hold it, so she could drink it down. Katherine fell into a deep sleep and only woke twice in three days. She was unable to attend the memorial service for Ian. No one asked questions, they all thought it would be too much for her.
On the fourth day, she accepted breakfast from the maid. Alone in her room, she rubbed her stomach knowing that she had to guard her secret. Her baby would be born a bastard as no one would believe they were married. The shame made her sick. They should have told everyone they were already married. Who would believe her now?
Deanna walked into the chamber without knocking. “Oh, thank God, you’re awake. Everyone is so worried about you.”
Tears welled up in Katherine’s eyes. “I just don’t know how to live, Deanna. All my plans and future were with him. I loved him with all my heart.”
Deanna reached out and took her hand. “I know it’s rough now. But with time, you will feel better. I spoke to Dorian, and we would like you to come live with us. We were married when he returned from England. I didn’t get a chance to tell you.”
Katherine tried to smile halfheartedly. “Congratulations, my sister. He is a good man.”
Deanna nodded. “Yes, he is. But so was Ian. Forgive me for doubting him in the beginning. Dorian was very fond of him as well. His family has been so gracious, but they are not our family. You need to stay with me and Dorian. He will protect you.”
Katherine reached up and embraced her. “You are right, my sister. Just give me a few days to ready myself and say goodbye.”
“Of course. I will let Dorian know.”
Katherine stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Later that evening, she asked Marion if she could visit the tower where Ian lived. Marion agreed and accompanied her there. Katherine asked for a few moments alone in his bedchamber.
Looking around the room, she felt the pain rise in her chest. She could see some of his personal items laid on top of the table near the wardrobe. Reaching out, she ran her fingers across his comb. A piece of hair stuck to it and she didn’t want to part with it. She would ask Marion if she could have it. Sitting on his bed, she laid back wondering how many nights he slept here dreaming of his life. A tear fell down her cheek slowly. She didn’t have the energy to wipe it way.
She whispered, “Ian, if you can hear me. Please know how much I loved you. You made me very happy in the brief time we were together. I have great news that I wanted to share with you when you returned. You are going to be a father. Can you believe it? Our child grows inside me. I can’t wait to tell the baby about you. Oh, Ian. Please know that in my heart, no matter what happens, my heart will always belong to you.”
She wiped the tears and sat up. One last look around his bedchamber and she left the room. Marion was waiting for her below.
“Are you well?” Marion worriedly looked at her.
Katherine nodded. “Can I keep his comb?”
“Of course. You can live here—in his tower—if you wish. We would love to have you.”
Katherine looked down. “Your kindness to me will always warm my heart. But I can’t stay. It isn’t right. My sister has offered me a room in her home. We will leave in a couple of days. I will never forget your friendship.”
Marion shook her head. “You can’t leave Katherine. You are all I have left of Ian.”
A male voice interrupted their conversation, “Mother, Katherine is not Ian.”
The women turned to see Jakub in the doorway. Marion wrung her hands. “Forgive me. I am just… to lose you too would be a nightmare. Please excuse me. I just need to lay down.”
Katherine was left alone with Jakub. He walked over to her and rubbed her arm. “How are you?”
She took a deep breath looking down at Ian’s comb in her hand. “I took his comb. Your mother said it was okay.”
“Please keep it.” He took a step away and walked toward the windowsill.
“I will be leaving in couple of days to go live with my sister.” She tried to smile. “All of you have been so kind to me. Thank you.”
He stared at her for a moment seemingly hesitant to speak. “Katherine, will you come sit beside me? I wish to speak to you.”
Katherine nodded, taking a seat across from him on an opposite chair. “I know all of this is fresh in your mind. The rawness of Ian’s death. I wanted to wait a few weeks before speaking to you, but I fear I am unable to wait now that you are leaving.”
“What is your concern?” Katherine was confused by his meaning.
His somber expression was evident. “Frankly, I am concerned when your father and his men learn of Ian’s death, they will come for you.”
Katherine fidgeted with her hands. “I must be diligent. I will let Dorian know. Deanna said he will protect me.”
Jakub rubbed his lips together studying her face. “Dorian is a great man. But he couldn’t protect you before, and I am concerned you may await the same fate. They will know that is where you will be.”
Katherine put her head in her hand. “What am I to do?”
His tone softened. “I know this is sudden and a lot to take in. But I think you should stay here and let me and my brothers protect you.”
Katherine’s eyes snapped up, a little surprised by his offer. “I appreciate your suggestion. But I can’t stay here as I am not your relative. I would have to earn my keep and would not feel right having you support me.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I know you loved Ian. Everyone could see it. My next proposition is only for your protection. But I think you should marry and soon. If you’re married, your father can’t touch you.”
“I couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else.”
He took a deep breath. “I knew you would feel that way. That is why I think you should marry someone who loved Ian as well.”
Katherine drew her brows together confused. “What do you mean? Who should I marry?”
“I would marry you to protect you. I think it is something Ian would have wanted.”
“But you can’t—you are the heir.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I have other brothers who can marry for alliances. I want to honor Ian and protect the woman he loved. Perhaps eventually, you would grow fond of me as well. We could remember Ian together.”
Katherine stood up brusquely. “I can’t answer you right now. I need a moment. Please excuse me.”
Jakub stood up. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I am only thinking of your best interest and how to protect you. I will escort you to the castle.”
Katherine practically ran to her chamber after Jakub took her to the great hall.
Chapter 19
“Look who I found!” Deanna chuckled when Katherine entered her room.
Claudia hugged Katherine. “I was banned from the room until you felt better. They didn’t want you to have too many visitors.”
She had a bottle of wine
in her hand. Katherine was relieved to see her old maid and confidante. “I never thought I would miss you so much. As much as you drive me mad.”
Claudia took out some glasses from the table and poured the wine. She handed it to each sister. “How are you today?”
She took a deep breath. “I went to Ian’s tower. While I was there, his brother showed up with the oddest request.”
Deanna laughed. “Which one?”
“The laird. He told me he wanted to honor Ian’s memory by protecting me from Father.” Katherine sniffed.
Claudia handed Katherine a cloth. “How is he going to do that? You are coming with us in couple of days.”
Katherine wiped her nose. “He said he wishes to marry me for Ian.”
Deanna spit out her wine. “What?” She looked at Claudia. “Did you just hear what she said? He wants to marry her after losing her fiancé just a few days ago.”
Katherine took a drink of wine. “He says the sooner the better, so he can offer me his protection in case Father finds out that Ian is dead.”
“Please… that is not his motivation. He is a powerful laird and wants a beautiful innocent girl in his bed.”
Katherine’s insides twisted. No one knew of her and Ian’s secret wedding. She was no longer innocent and now was with child. Jakub had no idea. She would not allow herself to marry him. With or without protection, she needed to leave as soon as possible. Perhaps Deanna could help her find a suitable husband in Dorian’s clan. Maybe a widower that needed help raising his children. That way he wouldn’t mind if she had a child of her own. She did need to marry soon, but not to Jakub.
“It matters not. I don’t plan to marry him. Perhaps we should leave on the morrow. Could you speak to Dorian?”
Deanna nodded. “I think you are right, Sister. Once you decline his offer, it would be awkward to stay.”
Claudia assisted Katherine with her trunk. She had acquired a few nice dresses since her stay with Ian’s clan. She carefully placed Ian’s comb in a leather pouch that she would keep for their child. Perhaps someday she would visit again when the child was older. But for now, the guilt was unbearable, and she chose to keep the pregnancy a secret in hopes that a nice man may take pity on her. Even a villager or farmer may offer his name or protection. An unmarried mother was scandalous, and she didn’t wish to bring shame to her family.
The next morning, she walked to Marion’s chambers and knocked on the door. Her maid answered and moved to the side allowing Katherine to go in. Marion was lying in a chair looking out the window. She kept her eyes focused on the activity below. “You are leaving early. I can see the men loading the horses.”
“It’s not too early. Only by a day. My melancholy is taking a toll on my sister and she thought it was best to stay with her and Dorian. I wanted you to know that I appreciate everything you did for me, but I am most grateful for your friendship. As you know, my mother died when I was very young, and I would like to think she was like you.”
Marion turned to her with tears in her eyes. “That is so nice for you to say. I will always think of you as my daughter.” She stood up from the chair and went to embrace Katherine. “Please take care of yourself, young lady. You will always have a place in my home.”
Katherine’s chest warmed with gratitude. “Thank you. I will miss you.” The women embraced one more time before Katherine left. After closing the door, she wiped the tears and knew she had to find Jakub.
He was in the solar speaking to a few of his knights. When she entered, all three stood and greeted her. “I didn’t mean to disturb you, my lord.”
“Nonsense. They were just leaving. Please have a seat.” Katherine sat on a chair and waved goodbye to the knights. Jakub walked around his desk and sat in the chair next to her.
Katherine wrung her hands. “My lord, your offer was unexpected and generous. I am not sure how Ian would have felt about it, but I hope he would be happy that his brother wished to protect me. Although I am flattered by your attentions, I am afraid I must decline.”
The smile faded from his face. He studied her eyes, searching for more of an explanation. “I don’t understand. Why would you decline? I know you still love my brother and I am willing to accept that.”
She reached for his hand and held it. “My lord, you are a handsome and powerful lord. You deserve a woman that you love and who will love you back. You don’t want to be chained to a woman who loved your brother and you felt an obligation to help due to your affections for your brother. Trust me… you will thank me for declining one day.”
He rubbed the back of her hand. “Katherine, if I am being perfectly honest, it’s not only for Ian that I asked you to marry me.”
She creased her forehead confused by his words.
He brought her hands to his mouth brushing a warm kiss on top of them. “The first time I saw you on that horse next to Ian, my breath caught in my throat. You were the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. I buried those thoughts not wanting to disrespect my brother. But when you arrived at our castle, I would watch you from afar and marvel at the change in my brother. It was then that I knew your beauty was not just on the outside, but you lit up a room with your laughter. I wondered what it would be like to kiss you and hold you in my arms.”
Katherine drew her hands back. “Please, my lord. Don’t say such things to me. Ian has only been gone a few days. I am not ready to love anyone again. I just need some time alone.”
Jakub considered her eyes. “I am afraid if I let you go, you will never come back.”
Katherine felt a little nervous about his statement. “It’s been decided, my lord. I leave within the hour.” She stood up walked toward the door.
Jakub stood and blocked her path. “Please wait. If you would only give me a chance to show you how great it could be with me.” He reached for her shoulders moving her closer to him.
Katherine shook her head and pushed him away. “Nay! Please let me go.”
He loosened his grip. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to scare you. Please just say you will consider my offer when you’re at your sister’s. I will visit soon.”
Katherine straightened her dress wanting him to leave her alone. “I won’t change my mind. But if you want to visit, I will accept you as Ian’s brother.” She reached the door and left without looking back.
Katherine’s resilience broke on her way to her chamber and she let out a sob. She didn’t understand men. If Deanna died, she would not go after her husband a few days later. She had to think clearly and not allow herself to be vulnerable. Men were like wolves, and until she could be safely married, she would need to be on guard.
Chapter 20
A few weeks later, Ian’s clan fell into their normal routine. Signs of the past events were fading, and Ian’s tower was locked up and banned from visitors. His mother wanted no one to occupy the space and none of his personal things were removed. His other castle and lands were given to the family to distribute as needed to siblings. He had no children.
A maid interrupted Marion’s morning weaving. “Pardon me, my lady. There is a riding party that says the Earl of Barragan should be here within the hour.” Marion was surprised by the announcement and rushed to the kitchens to prepare for visitors.
A brief time later, she joined her son Jakub for the visit. The earl approached with twenty men. Not as armed as his other visit, but not helpless either. Marion curtsied as he entered the bailey. “Welcome to our home, my lord.”
He took off his hat. “Thank you for receiving me.”
Jakub bowed. “An honor to see you so soon, my lord.”
The earl patted his shoulder. “I wish to offer my condolences to you and your family. I was informed last week of your brother’s unfortunate death battling the rebels. The king has asked me to send his personal regards. Is Mrs. Travis among you
?”
Jakub looked down. “Unfortunately, we were called away a few days before the wedding. They remained unwed. Miss Tolland left with her sister.”
Masking his eagerness to know more about her, he inquired, “Back to England?”
Marian shook her head answering for her son. “No, my lord. Miss Tolland went to her sisters at Castle Moore. Her sister recently married one of the knights there and he offered to care for her. We tried to convince her to stay with us, but she wanted to leave. My suspicions are that it brought back too many memories of Ian. They were hopelessly in love.”
He nodded his head in agreement. “That was very kind of you, my lady. Their affections for each other was evident on my last visit. I only hope that her father does not take advantage of this news. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out. I gathered from my conversations with her that he was a harsh man.”
Jakub took a deep breath. “Can we speak privately, my lord?”
Marion looked at the men with him. “Please come to the great hall when you are finished. I will find some refreshments. I will leave you two to talk.”
The earl followed Jakub to the solar and closed the door. He accepted some wine and sat in one of the chairs. Jakub sat down behind the desk. “I had the same reservations that you did. Being that Ian was my brother, I feel it’s my duty to protect her. I suggested a marriage between the two of us, but she refused. It may have been bad timing, but I feared that I would not be able to protect her if she went to Castle Moore.”
The earl shifted in his seat sipping his wine. “That was very chivalrous of you. I can imagine such a marriage would cause some division within the household.”
