by Ava Miles
He ended the kiss slowly, his heated blue eyes gazing at her steadily, gauging her mood, her passion. Even in the harsh light of the kitchen, she could see the flush of desire on his face.
He smoothed a hand over her cheek. “Are you sure, Grace? I…need you to be sure.”
He’d asked her that before, and it touched her that he would ask again. After his earlier revelations about protecting himself, she knew he was asking for him too. “I’m sure.”
He kissed her again on the mouth. “You have three minutes. Five minutes tops. I’ll be right back.”
Then she watched him walk out of the kitchen. She’d thought he was kidding, but when he didn’t immediately return, she went to the front door. Sure enough, he was running for the gate between their houses.
What in the world was he doing?
She gave a huff and headed upstairs to check on Ella one last time. If he’d said he was coming back, he was coming back. After ensuring their daughter was sleeping peacefully, she headed to her bedroom and took off her shoes from her perch on the bed. Her bedside clock said they were nearing three o’clock, and while she wanted Jordan, she was tuckered out. If he didn’t come back soon, she was going to end up asleep. She heard footsteps in the hallway and turned. He stood in the doorway, breathing hard.
“I think that was the fastest I’ve ever run,” he rasped out. “Tell me you’re still sure.”
Sue her, but he was even more attractive to her when he was slightly sweaty. “Why in the world did you take off like that?” she asked in exasperation.
He held up a packet of condoms. “I assumed you weren’t on the Pill, and while I love Ella, I didn’t think you’d be up for Irish twins.”
Good Lord. “Birth control.”
“Yeah,” he said, still not moving from the doorway. “I need you to say the words one more time, Grace.”
“I want you, Jordan,” she said and held out her hand to him.
“Thank God,” he said and strode forward with purpose toward the bed.
He joined her there and followed her down to the mattress, kissing her with increasing intensity. Oh yeah, this was the focused, intense lover she’d missed.
She gripped his back as their tongues dueled, wanting an anchor in this emotional storm buffeting them both. They’d come together after being apart before—when she’d gone to Italy for training or when he’d been away at training camp—but this homecoming was different.
She ran her hands under his T-shirt finally, needing to feel his bare skin, and on cue, he rose over her and stripped it off. All the saliva dried up in her mouth. Jordan was breathtaking with all his hard, taut muscles and six-pack abs. Reaching for the T-shirt she wore under her chef jacket, he nudged her hands aside and helped her remove it. Then, before she could blink, he unsnapped her bra. He’d always had mad skills that way.
He stopped and looked down at her breasts. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed these. How much I’ve wanted to see how they’ve changed.”
Her cheeks immediately flushed. “I…ah…they aren’t like they used to be. Jordan, I’m pretty self-conscious about this, but my breasts…ah…crap…they leak sometimes. I have no idea what they’re going to do…if you keep touching them.”
His gaze was all business now. “I’ve read about breastfeeding and sex.”
That was a shock. “What?”
“Before you go thinking I had ideas, first, I’m a guy, and second, I was curious. I want you to be comfortable, Grace. But you don’t need to worry about them leaking or squirting or doing whatever they want to do.”
Now she really wanted to squirm. “Jordan.”
“You love having me touch your breasts,” he said, caressing the sides of them with his fingertips. “I want this to be good for you. So good.”
She arched her spine in response to his touch, which she did love. “Promise you won’t laugh, and if it gets too weird, I’ll cover them back up.”
“I won’t get weird,” he said, “but I promise to honor your wishes if you get uncomfortable.”
He leaned closer and kissed the curve of her breast, moving slowly but with determination. He caressed them, and when he tugged, she gasped.
“They’re pretty sensitive, and not in a comfortable way,” she said, and he fell back to kissing the sides again.
Watching her intently for cues, he grew adept in deciding where and how to stroke her. Pretty soon, he was kissing her mouth while caressing her breasts. Arousal pooled in her center, and she relaxed into it all.
“I’ve missed you, Gracie,” he whispered.
Grace looked at his face, so beloved to her. Those piercing blue eyes, the straight nose, the strong, stubbled jaw. There had never been really anyone for her but Jordan. The tie that held her to him both humbled and enraged her. But it was there.
It moved her, the slowness and care he was taking with her. Their last lovemaking had possessed none of this deliberateness.
“I’ve missed you too.”
He lowered his mouth slowly. Their tongues danced, and Grace caressed his jaw, her fingers tingling from his sexy stubble.
Not wanting to rush the moment, they kissed and kissed and kissed. Every now and then his hands would venture down to caress her breasts with careful intent while hers traced the defined muscles of his chest.
When he kissed his way down her neck to her belly, she let her eyes flutter shut. God, she was ready for him. But he paused, and she opened her eyes when he traced her Caesarean scar.
“I wish I could have endured this for you,” he said quietly.
Her heart seemed to expand like an over-filled balloon. “We got Ella out of the deal. That’s all that matters.”
“Thank you for her,” he said, meeting her eyes. “I can’t imagine my life with her—or you.”
Oh, the way he was weaving words tonight. She could barely soak it all in, so she only gave him a brilliant smile. He slid his hands to her hips and kissed her right below the line of the scar.
She flushed with passion. “I can’t wait,” she breathed out, lifting her hips so he could slide her pants off.
“You don’t have to.”
Like a pro, he tugged both her pants and panties off in one motion, pausing only to take off her socks and kiss the soles of her feet before nudging her legs apart.
He pressed a kiss to the core of her, and her loud groan filled the room.
He touched her slowly. “Tell me if this is all right. I know they say to wait six weeks, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Jordan, it’s been fourteen weeks,” she said, arching into his touch, “but you’re sweet to be concerned.”
“I would never want to give you another moment of pain after everything you went through with Ella.”
There it was again, the sensitivity and vulnerability she hadn’t seen in Jordan since he was a young boy, the emotions being a father was bringing to the surface.
“I’ll be fine,” she told him to assure him, “but I’ll let you know if there’s anything to be concerned about.”
Mostly she was still worried about her breasts. They were downright unpredictable.
He nudged her legs open wider with his shoulders, and Grace nearly moaned in anticipation. He looked up and smiled—he knew what this did to her. He kissed her inner thighs, turning playful.
“Jordan.”
“All right,” he said in a teasing voice, “let’s give you what you really want.”
Grace jolted when he slid his tongue into her. Short strokes later, her hips were jerking against his mouth, and she shattered. Jordan continued to caress her, taking her even higher.
With her eyes closed, she could only focus on the pressure of his mouth and the glorious pleasure coursing through her body. She finally tugged on his hair to get his attention.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered, aching for him. “Now.”
His eyes were slits when he raised his head. His pulse beat visibly in his neck.
Awash in sensation, she slid her bare leg along his spine, which she knew drove him wild.
He uncoiled like a spring so he could finish undressing. When he stretched out naked against her, she kissed him deeply and ran her hand down his chest. He caught her before she could touch him.
“Not yet, Gracie,” he said hoarsely. “I won’t be able to stop.”
“Who says you have to?” she asked, in the thrall of her own empowerment and desire. It was a heady mix for a woman who rarely thought beyond the baby’s next feeding and her role at the restaurant.
She stroked him, watching his face. She knew exactly where to touch him to make his head fall forward. They’d gotten good at knowing how to pleasure each other.
“That’s enough,” he ground out.
He grabbed a condom and handed it to her. She delighted in slowly putting it on him.
“You’re killing me, Gracie.”
His teeth clenched, and Grace smiled. Oh, yes, she’d missed driving him wild like this.
Jordan must have caught her look because he slid his hand between her legs and caressed her.
“Oh, God,” she said, her head pressing into the pillows. “Just like that.”
Her eyes closed again, and she felt Jordan ease between her legs and slowly enter her.
He took his time, and for a moment she wondered if he was still worried about hurting her. But when he was finally buried deep inside her, all she could do was arch her back to bring him in a little deeper.
At his groan, she opened her eyes. He was watching her, his lips slightly parted.
They were filled with desire, yes, but there was so much love there.
* * *
Seeing Grace under him, feeling her skin, being inside her again, filled Jordan with a sense of awe. She was back with him. They were together again. And he was going to savor every moment.
He started a slow rhythm, and she responded by moaning and locking her legs around him. He caught her hands in his, wanting the connection.
Desire raged and swept them into a more frantic pace. Thrusting into her with longer, harder strokes, he watched her head thrash back and forth. She was moaning brokenly now, and Jordan felt his own body flush with sweat. He put a strong forearm under Grace’s hips, changing the angle, and she flew over the edge, her body pulling him over with her.
He lowered himself to Grace, resting on his elbows so as not to crush her. She’d always liked his weight on her, especially after they made love. He worried he weighed too much, but she would wrap herself around him as if she didn’t want to let him go—just like she was doing tonight.
He pressed his forehead to her shoulder and concentrated on taking deep breaths, filling his lungs with her scent, muskier now from their joining. Even though he was in tip-top shape, his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. Jordan couldn’t remember a time when their lovemaking had been this powerful. Their first time had been fraught with nerves, but good, really good. This, though? They’d reached a whole new level. He kissed the top of her head. The shorter curls still looked different than her old hair, and part of him missed weaving his hands into her hair when he kissed her.
He felt something wet on his chest and then heard her utter a sharp gasp. That made him smile, and he pushed off her and handed over his T-shirt for her to clean up. When she left his shirt over her breasts, Jordan decided not to tug it away. She was a little flustered now, beyond the flush of orgasm.
“No big deal,” he said, stooping to kiss her neck. He put his hand over the T-shirt covering her breasts and caressed them in the hopes of helping her past her embarrassment.
To his relief, she snuggled close instead of pulling away. He pulled her onto his chest after dispensing with the condom. After a moment, he raised himself up to look down at her. Her lips were swollen, her face flushed. The green eyes gazing at him were calm and filled with a joy he hadn’t seen for a long while. His heart squeezed painfully in response.
“Grace,” he said simply.
She leaned in to kiss him, and he let her. Slowly. Deeply. That kiss forged a new bond between them, one even stronger than their lovemaking. When she pressed away, she fitted herself against his side again, stroking his chest.
His body grew heavy, poised for sleep, but he could feel the tension return to her muscles. He could hear the wheels starting to turn in her head and wished he had a fork to grind them to a halt.
“It’ll be okay, Grace. We’ll figure it out. Together.”
She fell asleep in his arms a short time later while he caressed her, and only then did he allow his eyes to close.
He awakened to Ella fussing on the monitor, and it took him a moment to remember where he was. Then he smiled at the sensation of Grace’s slim, warm body pressed next to his. He looked over at her. She was snoring softly, something she never did, and had plastered herself all over him in her sleep.
Carefully withdrawing her arms, he rolled out of bed, hoping she wouldn’t wake. Good Lord, it was seven o’clock. Ella had given them both a treat by sleeping a little later than normal. Perhaps it was the extra feeding Grace had given her after coming home. He shut off the monitor in the bedroom and walked naked down the hall because he could. Because last night had changed things.
Ella lay on her back, squirming like a helpless little bug, whimpering.
“Hey, sweet pea,” he said, and she thrust her hands up in the air and gave a demanding cry. “Did you miss me? I missed you.”
Jordan picked her up, and she immediately started rooting around against his chest.
“You just had to be hungry,” he said with a sigh. “Do we go for a bottle or your mama?”
He didn’t want to wake Grace—God knew she needed the rest—but he carried Ella back to bed because he didn’t want to keep their family apart for another moment.
The low lamplight made her look even more at peace. Grace was lying on her side, so he pulled his shirt away from her and arranged Ella close to her body. He guided her little mouth to Grace’s breast, and Ella rooted around until she clamped on the nipple. Grace lifted a hand to cuddle Ella closer, but her eyes remained shut as the baby drank noisily.
Grace seemed to fall back asleep, and Jordan stayed where he was, one hand on Ella’s back to support her while she nursed. There was beauty here, and he savored every minute as he watched the two most important women in his life.
When Ella started to fuss after letting go of Grace’s nipple, Grace shook herself and half-sat up. “You’re fine, baby. Let’s switch sides.”
And then her eyes opened all the way, and she blinked at Jordan.
“Oh,” she said in a sleep-roughened voice. “Hello.”
He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Forget I was here?”
“I was…out. God, what time is it?”
When she turned to look at the clock, Jordan could tell she was fighting some morning discomfort.
“A little after seven.” He ran his hand over Ella’s head. “I love watching you nurse her.”
She curled back into the covers and guided their daughter to the other side. “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to pump every day and wear pads in your bra.”
He saw her point, but it didn’t change how he felt. “I know it’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful, Grace. It’s like being a dad. There are the dirty diapers and the spitting up. And then she falls asleep on my chest, and it nearly stops my heart.”
“You’ve surprised me these last few months,” she told him.
“I’ve surprised myself,” he answered honestly.
She leaned forward and lightly kissed him on the lips.
He felt there was a message in that kiss, but couldn’t decipher it. “What was that for?”
“I never thanked you for giving her to me,” she said, and then she smiled.
They lay there as a family, enjoying each other. When she finished nursing, Jordan encouraged Ella to roll over. Grace reminded him that she’d only spit up. He smiled as Ella looke
d back and forth between him and Grace. It was like she was wondering what had changed.
When Ella fell back asleep, he took her back to her crib. His heart grew in his chest as he stood in the doorway to Grace’s bedroom. She hadn’t made a move to the shower. She lay there curled up on her side, waiting for him.
When she held out a hand, he let her pull him onto the bed.
Chapter 19
When Grace awoke again, she couldn’t ignore the warm male body curled up behind her. If his light snoring was any indication, Jordan was still sleeping. She could hardly blame him. Between the lack of sleep, emotions, and love play, she was exhausted, but she had to face the full consequences of her actions.
She’d slept with Jordan. Twice.
Her resistance had been waning ever since she’d told him about Ella, if she were being honest. But was she really ready to try again with him or was last night…just last night? She could not admit to herself that she’d gone to bed with him without fully thinking things through. That made her feel like crap. She knew better—for him and for herself. Plus there was Ella to consider.
She opened her eyes finally, hearing Ella grunt and coo on the monitor. When she eased out from under Jordan’s arm, he mumbled and then grabbed a pillow to his chest. Turning off the monitor, she closed the bedroom door and went to get Ella. Her daughter was lying on her back, doing her best impression of singing for a three-month-old. When she saw Grace, she kicked her feet excitedly and gave a toothless grin.
“Hey, baby girl,” she sing-songed. “You look happy. Thanks for going back to bed earlier and sleeping better last night.”
She picked her up and hugged her tight. Oh, the love. Every morning, she was in awe of this precious little being. The knowledge that Jordan felt the same way had enhanced her feelings for him.
She’d fallen in love with the hard-working man who had big dreams. Now, she’d fallen in love with the family man and wasn’t so sure she could stay away. Being in this house together made her feel like they really could be a family. Jordan showed every sign of wanting that. Could she trust it?
