Full Figured

by Brenda Hampton

  Roc backed away from our intense kiss and I opened my eyes. Our eyes were deeply connected and tore at each other’s soul. Thing is, neither of us knew where to turn next. Fuck it, I thought, reaching for his belt buckle. He touched my hand to stop me.

  “My condoms are in my truck. Let me go get some and I’ll be right back.”

  I nodded and opened the door for Roc. Since he had gone to get more than one condom, I predicted it was going to be a long, unforgettable night. I bit my nails as I watched him open the glove compartment to retrieve a box of condoms. He removed his jacket and laid it on his front seat. No doubt, he was geared to go and had already started to pull his shirt out from inside of his pants. I stood on my porch fidgeting and was fearful as ever. Darn, I thought. Where were my chocolates? I needed a bite of something, but then again, my chocolate was right there in front of me. No . . . he was only twenty-four years old! What if Latrel was dating a woman my age? Wouldn’t I be upset? This young man had a mother who I was sure wouldn’t approve.

  “Roc,” I said, halting his steps as he stepped onto the porch. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I apologize for misleading you, but this isn’t a good time for me. My head isn’t on straight and I’m not sure if this is something I really want to do.”

  Roc sighed and wiped down his face with his hand. “Damn, ma. You got me all worked up for nothin’? I ain’t gon’ force you into nothin’ you don’t wanna do, but why you makin’ this so difficult? Age is a number and a number don’t mean jack.”

  “I say that myself, but in this case it may very well apply.”

  “’Cause you think I can’t please you, is that it? I promise you that I’m not yo’ average twenty-four-year-old brotha out here, just tryin’ to get in and out. Let me show you what I’m workin’ with.”

  “I have a good feeling what you’re working with, but just not tonight.” I gave him my card again, just so he wouldn’t feel as if I’d completely dissed him. “Keep in touch, okay?”

  He looked at me with his hooded eyes, almost pleading for me to change my mind. “This shit ain’t right,” he said, tucking his shirt back into his pants. He stepped forward and left a sliver of breathing room between us. My nostrils took in his panty-dropping cologne and my thumping pussy was sending off signals of me being a fool. His lips touched my ear and his whispering words stuck in my head like Super Glue. “Tip one . . . I wanna fuck you badder than a mutha, ma, and I always get what I want. Two . . . you can be sho of that, so sleep tight on what I just said. Three.” He took my hand, putting it down inside of his pants so I could feel his thickness. “They don’t call me Roc for nothin’. I earned my name and you shouldn’t be so worried about this twenty-four-year-old handlin’ his business. I will and I intend to do so very soon.”

  Roc kissed my cheek and backed away. I watched as he got in his SUV and left. It was such a disappointment to see him go, but I knew that his words had much, much validity to them.

  Chapter Three

  For the last week and a half, things were awfully quiet. I assumed Latrel had gone back to school because I hadn’t heard from him or Reggie. I was bothered that Latrel hadn’t called me, but I had no intentions of picking up the phone to kiss his butt. That day, his tone rubbed me the wrong way and to toss the pizza on the floor as he had done was nonetheless disrespectful. As far as I was concerned he owed me an apology, not the other way around.

  Reggie too. I’m sure he was boasting about the whole incident that took place and that gave him and Latrel a great opportunity to sit around and talk about what a terrible mother and wife I’d been. Realistically, both of them had the best of me. I put everything into my marriage to make it work and often gave my son too much. Everything backfired in my face, but I can’t deny that I didn’t someday see all of this coming. Reggie had the best wife ever, and how he ever found a way to fall out of love with me I’d never understand. Deep down, I knew there was someone else. He never said there was, but that’s just something a wife knows. Still, I wished him and Latrel well. One day they’d realize how much I gave to them, but I hoped that by the time they woke up it wouldn’t be too late.

  It was a sunny day outside and the September heat was still going strong. I wanted to relax and clear my head, so I chilled out in the backyard while resting on my cushioned patio swing. A book was in my hand and a pitcher of lemon iced tea was on the ground beside me. A strong breeze blew in every now and then, and even though I hadn’t had the money to take a vacation, the perimeter of my backyard would do. I laid the book on my chest and thought about the backyard parties Reggie and I used to have. He’d be firing up the gas grill right about now and Latrel would be running around in the backyard playing with his friends. The house would be packed with family and friends. When things started to take a turn for the worse, those kinds of days ended. Now, the backyard had become my place to pray, read, and think about where my life was headed from here.

  The wind picked up again, this time blowing my yellow and white flower-print flimsy sundress up like a balloon. I tucked the dress between my legs and got back to reading my book. Just as I started to get into it, the cordless phone rang. I looked to see who it was, but I didn’t recognize the number. Those kinds of numbers meant bill collectors were calling, and since Reggie was often late on his alimony payments, some of my bills had to be put off. I ignored the call, but when the phone rang again, I hit the talk button.

  “Hello,” I griped.

  “Can someone connect me to the prettiest woman in the house?”

  I hung up and got back to my book. I didn’t know who that was and wasn’t interested in playing love games over the phone with a stranger.

  The phone rang again. My book was too good to keep putting aside, and because of these interruptions, the caller was going to get an earful.

  “You have the wrong number,” I yelled out.

  “Dez, it’s Roc. What’s up?”

  “Why didn’t you just say so,” I said, laying the book on my chest again. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Roc calling me, but thoughts of our last moment together had often played in my head.

  “I thought you’d recognize my voice, but I guess I didn’t leave that much of an impression on you.”

  “That was almost two weeks ago. I’ve forgotten about you since then.”

  He laughed and I visualized his dimples in full effect. “Well, let me stop by and refresh yo’ memory. I was close by and wanted to call before makin’ my move that way.”

  “I’m glad you did call first. I’m kind of busy. Maybe some other time.”

  He laughed again. “I knew you were gon’ say that shit. I must be psychic or somethin’. And while I’m on a roll, I’m gon’ make another prediction.”

  “Feel free,” I said, tuned in.

  “I predict that I’ll be pullin’ in yo’ driveway in ten minutes. I just wanna drop in to see how you doin’, but if you don’t wanna be bothered let me know.”

  “Look, Roc. I was in the middle of reading a very good book. I’ve worked all week and I’m truly exhausted. If—”

  “I like to read too. Check that out . . . we already got somethin’ in common. Who would have thought that?”

  I took a deep breath and sat up on the swing. This brotha just wasn’t giving up and I didn’t appreciate him pressuring me. “Fifteen minutes, Roc. You can stay for fifteen minutes, then you’ll have to go. I have plans for this evening, okay?”

  Roc hung up and I had no time to go inside and put on something I felt was more appropriate than the sundress I had on. No doubt, it made me look fat, but at least my breasts were held up by thick straps that rested on my shoulders. My hair had blown all over my head so I quickly straightened it with my fingers. I slid into my yellow flip-flops and made my way around to the front of my house. I hoped like hell that I wouldn’t regret letting Roc know where I lived.

  I could hear the loud rap music from another block over. Roc pulled in my driveway and he could tell by the look on my face that I was
n’t pleased by the loudness of his music. He turned down the volume and looked at me standing on the sidewalk in my dress. When he got out of the car, he looked more like the Roc I’d seen at the car wash. His clothes weren’t dirty, but he was casually dressed in jeans and an Ed Hardy t-shirt and cap. Clean white tennis shoes were on his feet, a silver cross dangled from his neck, and he sported a silver watch with a face filled with diamonds. He looked more like one of Latrel’s friends, and I was concerned about him having money to buy a T-shirt and cap as expensive as Ed Hardy. The watch didn’t look cheap either, nor did the diamond earrings in his ears. With that being said, he was still gorgeous as ever and the smile that he’d brought to my face hadn’t been there all week.

  He left his cap on the front seat of his truck and placed his hands in his pockets. “What’s shakin, ma? You lookin’ good as usual.”

  “Stop your lying, Roc. You know I look as if I’ve been in the house flipping pancakes or something.”

  We both laughed. “So, you got jokes today I see. Remember, though, I see way more than you realize,” he said.

  “Dressed like this, I hope so.” I walked off and Roc followed me to the backyard. I offered him some iced tea and he accepted. We both took a seat at the table that was covered with an umbrella.

  “You got a nice-ass yard,” he said while drinking from the glass. “From what I saw, the inside of yo’ house look nice too.”

  “Thanks. I do my best trying to keep up the place.” I looked at the high grass that Reggie hadn’t made his way over to cut. Even though we didn’t live together, there were still some things he agreed to help out with, including the upkeep of the property.

  “The grass is kind of high. Do you pay somebody to cut it for you?”

  I really didn’t want to get into a conversation with Roc about Reggie, so I lied. “Yes, but he hasn’t stopped by lately.”

  “You want me to cut it for you? I don’t mind. Besides, I think you like watchin’ me sweat.”

  No doubt about that, I thought. “How much are you going to charge me?” I asked.

  “Nothin’.”

  “Usually, when a man does something for free, he wants something in return.”

  “I got a lil somethin’ in mind, but I don’t think I’m gon’ get lucky today. So after I finish cuttin’ yo’ grass, I’ll settle for a kiss and be happy ’bout that.”

  My grass did need to be cut and there wasn’t no telling when Reggie would show up to do it. Just like his alimony payments, they came when he was ready. I got the lawn mower from the garage and happily turned it over to Roc. If a kiss was all I had to give up, this task was well worth it.

  Roc took off his shirt and displayed his washboard abs underneath. He pulled up his jeans, but I’d already seen his white and blue boxers. His baggy jeans looked so fresh and clean, I almost hated for him to mess them up.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. “I hate for you to mess up your jeans and your tennis shoes look as if you just purchased them.”

  “I’m good,” he said, neatly folding his shirt, then placing it on the table. He removed his chain and watch, dropping them on top of his shirt. His eyes observed the huge yard, and before I knew it, he cranked up the lawn mower and got started.

  I went into the house and got him some more tea, bottled water, and a cold, wet towel. It was awfully nice of him to do this for me and I appreciated it more than he knew.

  I put the tea, bottled water, and towel on the table, and returned to my position on the swing. I started to read again, only to find myself taking peeks at Roc as he cut the grass in a diagonal pattern. His body was to die for. My erotic thoughts were back again and I had to get myself under control before I did something I figured I’d regret. I was so horny, though, and the last time I’d had sex was almost eight months ago. It was with Reggie, of course, and before that time, I could barely remember. Reggie had been the one I’d lost my virginity to and that was when I was seventeen years old. I had sex with one other person after that, and when Reggie and I got married, I had no other desires for men. He was all I needed and all I ever wanted. My attraction to Roc, however, was a new experience for me and I honestly didn’t know how I’d handle it.

  For the next thirty minutes, I managed to get back into my book. That was until Monica called and interrupted me. I couldn’t help but mention that Roc was cutting my grass for me.

  “I bet that is one Kodak moment to see,” she said. “I’m on my way!”

  “He’ll be finished by the time you get here, and probably gone. Don’t waste your time.”

  “Are you telling me you’re going to let that man leave without—”

  “Monica, you know me. I can’t go throwing myself at him like that. I barely know him and he has yet to ask anything about me.”

  “Look, the less you know the better.”

  “What if he’s some type of drug dealer or something? I mean, he be wearing all these expensive clothes, and from what he told me, he just be helping out his uncle. I don’t know where this young man lives, who he lives with, where he works . . .”

  “Does all that really matter? Stop talking like some high school chick worried about her reputation. You’re a grown unmarried woman and just . . . just get you some, all right? I want details and do not let that brotha turn you out! Woman, up and represent for the forty-year-old woman. I remember you telling me how you and Reggie used to get down. Work your magic on Roc and tear the young thunder up!”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I took another peek at Roc and tucked my hand between my thighs. “Girl, this is a shame. I can’t believe what my eyes are witnessing. I wish you were here to see this.”

  “I wish I were too. I can only imagine and you are one lucky-ass woman. Tell me, did Reggie ever look like that while cutting the yard? Not!”

  “Reggie ain’t no bad-looking man, Monica. You know that.”

  “No, he’s not. But he ain’t no Roc either. Besides, forget about Reggie. Go do you and do it for me too. I gotta go, but be sure to call me later and let me know somethin’.”

  “Bye, girl, I’ll call you later. Don’t get your hopes up, though.”

  Monica laughed and hung up. When Roc turned off the lawn mower, I looked up. He was finished and the grass looked spectacular. He pushed the lawn mower up to the patio and reached for the bottled water. He poured the water on his face and it rushed down his chest as well. He used the towel to dry off. Afterward, he guzzled down the glass of iced tea and I was in a trance while watching his abs move in and out.

  “Ahhh,” he said, placing the glass on the table. “That was refreshin’.”

  I commented on the grass. “It looks nice and thank you so much for cutting it for me.”

  “No problem and it ain’t like you had me out here plantin’ flowers. I would’ve done it for you, but first, I would’ve planted that dress you got on or buried it.”

  I smiled at Roc and went up to him. “Insulting my dress will get you nowhere, and that comment caused you a major deduction.” I got on the tips of my toes and pecked Roc’s cheek. “There,” I said, backing away from him. He held out his hands, but before he could say anything, his cell phone blasted with music. He looked to see who it was, and excused himself to take the call. He stepped a few feet away near my willow tree and all I heard was, “what’s up, nigga.”

  Instead of listening in, I went back to the swing and took a seat. Roc soon ended his call, and I watched as he turned his phone on vibrate. He wiped his chest again, then came over and sat next to me on the swing.

  “That sholl is a dope-ass dress you wearin’,” he said, touching his chest. “And I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

  We both laughed. “Are you tired?” I asked. “If so, you may want to go home and get some rest.”

  “You ain’t gettin’ rid of me that easy.”

  He laid sideways on the swing and encouraged me to lay beside him. “Come on,” he ordered. “Let’s read this book you be
en so into.”

  “You know darn well you don’t be reading no books. Face it, you’re just saying that to get close to me and impress me.”

  Roc took a glance at the cover and eased his arm around my waist. “I don’t read those kinds of books, but I do read. I like self-help books . . . nonfiction, books like that. Now, lay down in front of me and get comfortable. Read the book to me and let me get into yo’ head to see what kind of things you like.”

  I lay sideways with my back facing Roc and his arms comforting my waistline. He intertwined his legs with mine and I felt quite at ease. I started to read the book and at least twenty minutes into it, I could hear Roc’s loud snores. His chest slowly heaved in and out, and when I turned my head slightly to the side, he looked so peaceful. I figured he was tired from cutting the grass, so I didn’t wake him. I focused on finishing my book, but before I knew it, my eyes started to fade as well.

  Roc’s vibrating phone woke me, but he was still asleep. I’d felt his phone vibrating several times, but was too tired to move. The sun had gone down and the night was definitely upon us. We’d been asleep for hours and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this good being cradled in someone’s arms. I almost hated to wake him up, but it was getting late and the caller seemed anxious to reach him. I moved around a bit, causing the swing to slowly sway back and forth. Roc stretched before opening his eyes to see where he was.

  “Damn,” he said, looking at the dark sky. “What time is it?”

  “Late, but I’m not exactly sure about the time. You might want to check your phone to see.”

  He reached for his phone clipped to his jeans and pushed a button to check the callers. I saw his lips toot a bit and when he dropped the phone by his side, he obviously wasn’t pleased about who the callers were.