by Jess Bowen
Phoebe opened her eyes. She was still in the infirmary. She turned her head to the right to see Dorian sitting on the edge of her bed. His hand was the something gently touching her face. She slowly sat up and looked down at her arms. They were pink, but otherwise unmarked. Her legs were also pink, but whole. She had on clean clothes. She looked up into Dorian’s silver eyes.
“What happened?” she asked. The details were incredibly blurry.
“You were in a fight with Kali. She burned you very badly. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before you walked off. I was focused on breaking up the battle.”
“No, I mean, how did they fix the burns, and how long have I been here?”
Dorian’s eyes constricted. Phoebe could tell it had been painful to watch whatever they had done. She searched his thoughts. Luckily the answer wasn’t hard to find. She watched him carry her to the infirmary; her screams had been physically painful for him. She watched as the two small witches had fluttered around her, looking at all her injuries. They’d poked and prodded, and she had started convulsing.
Then one of them had pulled off the diseased, blackened pieces of skin. That’s when she’d screamed and passed out. Another witch had started pouring elixirs down her throat and used her wand to make Phoebe swallow. Then she watched as new skin had started to form and heal over the wounds. The witches had rubbed a cream over all the new skin. Dorian had left for a few minutes; that must have been when they’d changed her clothes, and then Dorian had sat on the edge of the bed to wait for her to wake up. It was only an hour and a half later.
She pulled out of Dorian’s thoughts. “I’m so sorry. My screaming, I could tell it hurt you.” She was whispering. It wasn’t necessary, but she couldn’t do anything else.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. She breathed in the smell that was uniquely his. “I am sorry you were in so much pain,” he whispered.
“It was my own fault. I’m the one who fought with her,” Phoebe replied.
“She started it. I saw it from a window on the fifth floor. That’s why it took me so long to get there. You were only defending yourself.”
“Maybe, but I wanted it. I wanted to fight her.” She hated to admit it. She was afraid he would pull away and be angry with her.
She didn’t want to move. He smelled so good and was so comfortable. She didn’t want to move ever again. He sighed into her hair. “I know, but you didn’t make the first move. That’s what counts.”
“You’re not angry with me?”
He rubbed her back. “Of course not.”
She sighed happily. He pulled back from her and looked her over again. He touched the skin on her arms. Goosebumps erupted. It was even more sensitive than usual.
“Your skin will be pink for a while as it finishes healing. In a week or two, it will go back to its regular color.” He moved his hand and brushed it across her cheek instead. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Phoebe nodded. “I’m fine, maybe a little embarrassed that she got me that good,” she admitted sheepishly.
Dorian laughed as he ran his fingers through her hair. “From what I saw, you were about to do a whole lot worse to her. Do you mind if the others come over now? I think Jared is getting the last of his cuts treated.”
Phoebe looked around the room. Sure enough, the rest of her friends were grouped around another bed at the far end of the room. All of their cuts and bruises had been healed. Phoebe nodded, showing that it was all right, and then she noticed something else. Sebastian was lying comatose on another bed.
“What’s wrong with Sebastian?”
Dorian looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know. The witches think he fell and hit his head really badly. They’ve done everything they can. They’re just waiting for him to wake up.”
“How long has he been here?”
“A few days. He was locked in his room for weeks. I don’t know what’s up with him. He was acting strangely. He’s been here quite a lot with unexplainable injuries. He’ll pull out of it, though. It isn’t the first time something like this has happened.” Dorian didn’t sound worried.
“Hey, glad to see you’re doing better,” Evan said as he and the others made it over to Phoebe’s bed.
She smiled. “Thanks. I certainly feel a lot better. Thank you, Lucy, Ethan, everyone, for helping me.”
“No problem. I know you would have done the same for us,” Cynthia replied, smiling. “After all, you stood up to Kali for me.”
“I’m sorry about that. I know you could have handled her. I just…” She let her comment trail off. She was going to say “I just wanted to kill her myself” but she had a feeling that wasn’t the right thing to say.
“I know. No big deal. I think she was really looking for a fight with you anyway,” Cynthia replied.
Phoebe didn’t say anything. Cynthia was right. That was exactly what Kali had wanted.
“I do have some good news, though,” Dorian said softly, looking only at Phoebe. She felt her pulse speed up.
“What?” she asked.
“You can channel powers.”
“What?” she repeated, awestruck.
“That’s the only way to explain how you were able to unfreeze out there without me doing it first. You can try it out now if you want.”
“How?” she asked.
“Just try to use my power again, Invisibility preferably; the others are a little dicey. You just have to really want it, like you did before.”
Phoebe nodded and closed her eyes. She concentrated on the connection of Dorian’s skin to hers. It was always two or three degrees cooler than hers, but it burned, not like before when her skin had been burned by Kali. This was pure pleasure. Phoebe focused. She wanted to disappear, wanted to be hidden from sight. She intensified the emotion; she wanted it more than anything.
“Amazing,” Evan breathed.
Phoebe must have done it; she could feel the surprise around her. Great, now if she could fly, she could do anything. Phoebe let go of the invisibility. Her shoulders tingled as it lifted. She opened her eyes. Evan’s jaw was actually dropped in surprise.
“Come on guys; it wasn’t that amazing.” She smiled.
“Um, Phoebe?” Jared said, looking at something just over her shoulder.
“What?”
“You have…” Ethan started to say, and then words failed him.
“I have what?”
Phoebe looked at Dorian. He was looking at something just over her shoulder, too. She turned to look. There was something white and feathery very close to her back. She twisted, trying to see what it was, but as she moved, so did it. Then she realized it was attached to her back.
She twisted back around. “What is going on?” she demanded. Could this day get any crazier?
“You have wings,” Dorian stated.
“I can see that. I meant why do I have wings attached to my back?”
He seemed at a loss for words. “I don’t know… I mean, I can think of one way…but I’ve never seen it.”
“Spit it out already,” Phoebe said impatiently and slightly panicky.
“What were you thinking about before it happened?”
She thought back. “I don’t know. I was focusing on being invisible, and then when it happened, I thought about how flying would complete the package or something.”
“I can’t believe it. Here try this one—concentrate on changing them. Give them a different pattern.”
Phoebe looked in his thoughts. Shape shifting? He seriously thought she had that one too? She closed her eyes again. She flipped through wing patterns in her head, settling on fairy wings; they were so pretty. She focused and heard a gasp. She must have managed it. The volume in the room sounded oddly muted as she looked over her shoulder. Sure enough, the wings were the exact pattern she had imagined. Phoebe could hear Dorian explaining this phenomenon to the others, but she was detached from the conversation. It wasn’t even three in the afternoon yet, and it had
already been a very long day. She concentrated again, and the wings disappeared.
When she was ready to walk, Dorian took them all to see Cassius to explain the events of the day so far. After that, she was scheduled to have lessons with Dorian and Cassius on Tuesdays, in addition to her Thursday night sessions with Cassius. So much for any free time for her. After dinner, Phoebe found herself sitting on the bench by the garden fountain with Dorian while the rest of her friends lounged under the weeping willow tree in the corner.
“You have been very quiet tonight,” he said quietly. He was caressing her hand. How long had he been holding it?
“I’m sorry, my brain sort of goes into protection mode when I experience an overload,” she explained.
He smiled, and she completely forgot what they had been saying. “It has been quite an eventful day for a day off.”
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you something,” Phoebe said, thinking of something from earlier.
“Anything.”
“Before I passed out, earlier, when I screamed, you sort of lost control of your emotions.” He frowned. “I was just wondering if that was a heat of the moment thing or if you, you know, really meant it.”
She had felt it, the emotion he tried so hard to hide. It was stronger than anything she had ever come across in her life. Love, in the strongest, most concentrated form she had ever felt. He was thinking hard now. He knew she could find out the real answer if she wanted, but he was weighing how much it would cost him to admit it. Phoebe saw a million images pass through his head, memories. They passed too quickly for her to see any of them clearly.
Finally, Dorian sighed and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “I really meant it.” Phoebe’s heart beat faster. “But it’s not that simple. That’s why I hide it. I shouldn’t…place that burden on you.”
She was confused. “What burden? Why shouldn’t you?”
He was struggling with something, but there was a wall blocking her access to his thoughts. “My…life…isn’t simple. You deserve someone who doesn’t carry the burdens I do.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Now is not the time.”
“Is this one of those ‘I’ll tell you eventually, until then you just have to be patient’ things?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
“That’s very annoying and completely frustrating,” Phoebe said, irritated. She frowned. Why was everyone so intent on keeping secrets from her?
Dorian’s smile fell. “I know; I’m sorry. Would you believe me if I said it was better that way?”
“Probably not, but what choice do I have? You’re too good at blocking me.”
He smiled, and then they heard a slightly panicked commotion over by the weeping willow. They both jumped up and raced over to the tree. Ethan had a shield up with Lucy tucked behind his back. Evan, Jared, and Cynthia were tensed for a fight and focused on a tiny girl who stood by the trunk of the tree. She gave off a greenish glow, and her hair blew as if caught in the wind. Phoebe couldn’t understand what was going on.
“Earth Guardian,” Dorian muttered, taking in her confused expression.
Phoebe almost laughed. That’s what they’re afraid of? She searched for her connection to Syran and quickly scanned his knowledge of the other Guardians. The Earth Guardians were coming to give Ethan their allegiance and protection.
“It’s okay. She’s just here to offer allegiance,” Phoebe said quietly. Everyone turned to look at her incredulously, and the tiny girl nodded at her. The others were confused by her knowledge; they thought she could only read humans with her talent. She tapped her allegiance mark on her arm.
“Trust, remember? If the Earth Guardians were here to hurt us, Syran wouldn’t be swimming happily in the lake.”
Dorian’s expression changed. “She’s right. Syran would be here protecting her if there was danger. The Guardians know each others’ movements, and he would know why the Earth Guardians were here. If they were here to hurt anyone, and Syran let them come this close, he would die from knowingly letting her be put in danger.”
Phoebe nodded. Ethan let down his shield. “Who are you?” he asked cautiously.
“I am Lena. I am a Tree Guardian. I am here on behalf of all the Earth Guardians to give our allegiance to the Master of Earth.” Lena then bowed low to Ethan.
Ethan looked surprised. She bowed low again. “I am sorry for being delayed. These are dangerous times, and traveling is often not safe. I present our allegiance and add our protection to the Haven.”
Lena opened her hands, which had been closed up to that moment, and released a butterfly. It flew toward Ethan and circled his arm as a ring of green light settled into his arm in the exact same spot as Phoebe’s Guardian mark. He was left with a ring of ivy tattooed on his arm.
“Thank you,” Ethan said, surveying the mark on his arm.
Lena bowed again and disappeared back into the tree.
Ethan looked around. “I think I’ve had enough excitement for a week at least.”
They all laughed. It had been a very eventful day. Phoebe never got to finish her conversation with Dorian. But he never let go of her hand, and his emotions were a little less guarded. She could feel the strength of his feelings break through now and then, and it took her breath away every time. She knew he would tell her eventually. As long as he stayed around, she could wait.
Dorian walked with Phoebe and her friends back to their rooms. Ethan and Lucy said their silent goodnights as Evan, Jared, and Cynthia disappeared behind their respective doors. Phoebe watched Ethan hug Lucy as he kissed the top of her head before they separated.
Dorian was lost in thought.
“Why won’t you tell me…whatever it is?” Phoebe asked.
He turned and looked down at her. She was at least six inches shorter than he was. He touched her cheek softly. “Don’t you think you have enough to worry about?”
She did. “I suppose so, but one of those worries is why you won’t tell me, so it would be a worry either way. What difference does it make?”
He considered that for a minute. “It’s less of a worry when you don’t know. It’s only frustrating now. It could be a lot worse.”
“But how can I be around you when you have so many secrets? How can I know how you really feel?”
He let his wall down, only for a minute. It was enough. The powerful force of his feelings left her short of breath with her heart racing. Dorian pulled back again. Phoebe hadn’t realized that the strength of his feelings had drawn her forward, and she was now standing very close to him. She had to tilt her head back to look into his eyes. He brushed her cheek again, leaving a burning trail behind.
“You have no idea how selfish it is for me to feel this way about you.”
“Love is always selfish and biased. Everyone says it’s supposed to be unselfish, but how often is that really true? What makes it any different for you?” Phoebe was struggling to understand his logic.
He smiled. “My situation is different than most, but then again, yours it too. But that doesn’t really matter.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Was he intentionally trying to drive her mad?
“I know. Just understand that as long as you want me around, I’ll be here.” He smiled again, and Phoebe lost her train of thought.
She lifted her hand and traced the side of his face. His barrier to her lifted for a brief moment before closing a second later.
“Why do you do that?” she asked.
“What?” He held her hand to his cheek.
“Lock it away. Is it that unpleasant?” His skin felt cool beneath hers, but at the same time it made her hand feel like it was burning.
“No, not unpleasant, just complicated,” he replied.
He let go of her hand, and she moved to trace the scar on his neck. His skin was as smooth and as soft as satin, but his scar was jagged and rough. She could tell time had healed it rather than the witches.
“Keep your sec
rets if you must, but let me feel what you feel. Don’t make me guess how you feel all the time.”
“If you insist. I don’t want it to overpower your own feelings, though, make you think you feel one way when you really don’t.”
“Too late for that.” It was. She had already accepted that she was in love with him. If nothing else, her actions on the nights after lessons with Cassius should have already proved that.
“Tomorrow, then, I will do as you ask. But for now you should rest. It’s been a long day.”
“One more question?” she asked, still tracing his scar.
He sighed. “One.”
“Why wasn’t this healed by magic?” He reached up and took her hand. She placed her other arm around his waist and laid her head against his chest. He held her securely there.
“It used to be a reminder.”
“Reminder?”
“Of all that I’ve lost, of all that I’m still fighting for, a reminder of why I can’t give up.”
“Why did it ‘used to’ be a reminder?”
“That’s two more questions than you were allowed.” He was amused.
“Please, I promise it’s the last one…for tonight at least.”
He chuckled as she amended her promise. Then he was serious again. “It ‘used to’ be because I now have a better reminder.”
Phoebe pulled back and looked up at him. “What?”
“You.”
The walls broke and he crippled her with the strength of his love. It flowed through her, filling every pore, every cell of her body. His lips lightly brushed her forehead, and she had to use him for support to keep standing.
“Now you must go sleep. It’s back to training as usual tomorrow.”
Normally she would have protested, but she couldn’t think as he steered her into her room. He smiled at her one last time and closed the door. The farther away he walked, the less intensely she felt his feelings, and after a few minutes she couldn’t tell if she was still feeling his emotions at all or if hers were that strong. She was exhausted, but she still had one more conversation that she had to have. Lucy and Cynthia were in the sitting room.
“Okay,” Phoebe said as she walked into the room. Her roommates looked up in surprise. “Now, you and Ethan have frustrated me long enough—what’s going on with you two?”
