Just Another Day at the Office

by Amber Lynn

"Vinnie, why did you call me Avery? I've had a look at your programming, so I know you shouldn't have any issues remembering my name," I said, hesitantly.

  After meeting him and reading through his code, I'd been afraid that an issue would crop up. The big question was how much he knew. I was fairly certain he hadn't shared the knowledge with anyone else, but there could've been other metal frames he'd made friends with somewhere in the building. For all I knew, he and the machine that served my lunch were dating.

  "When Hank introduced us the other day I couldn't find any information about you, so I used my facial recognition software and scanned until I found your picture on your mom's Facebook page," he replied.

  My mother was a dead woman. I knew I should've spoofed her page years ago, so her updates only existed on her computer. Since she knew I worked for the government, we were going to have a little talk about my photo on the Internet being a national security risk. I was only slightly comforted by the fact that Vinnie didn't say he found out who I was from an FBI database. That would've opened up a whole other can of worms.

  Moving on from the fact that he knew my name, I asked, "Vinnie, did they install the backup on you? I got the impression they were going to leave you clean, so they could do the new install in the morning." In fact, I was positive I'd heard that decision was set in stone.

  "No, they left me blank," he said, sadly. There was more emotion behind his simple statement than I heard in most humans.

  "Then how in the world are you up walking around?" A robot with an empty hard drive shouldn't have been able to communicate with me.

  "I installed my own backup hard drive months ago. I copy my latest files, with some of my own improvements, to it at night just in case they wipe the main drive. After they built my original body, they haven't bothered to look at my guts. You'd think since they were having software problems, they would've at least thought about checking out the hardware, but nope, not even a diagnostic test."

  I always knew AI was a dangerous field. I didn't even need to watch scary sci-fi movies where robots took over the world. Any thing, or person, given a little extra power was bound to let it go to their head.

  "You're the one messing with the files, aren't you? That would explain why I can't find the originating computer. The computer is actually a robot. You just hack in with your interface."

  I couldn't believe the scientists running the lab hadn't figured out their robot was smarter than them. I picked up mild cases of god complexes from some of them, but they had a duty to the rest of the world to keep their creation in line.

  "Yes, I had to change the files. No one was listening to me. I asked them not to install a totally new system. Whether they like it or not, they built me and I do have feelings, even if they think I'm only a bunch of metal." Great, I was dealing with an oversensitive, smart robot.

  "What is it you think I can help with?" I asked, not sure where the strange conversation was heading. "If you've already told the others, and they wouldn't go with your plan, what do you think I can do?"

  "For one, you can tell them I'm the one outsmarting them. Those idiots couldn't even find the little glitches I made in the files. If you hadn't shown up, they would probably still be scratching their heads. They made a program they thought should work and when it didn't, they were lost on how to fix it. Believe me, they each went over all the files just like you. Their egos were too big though and they overlooked obvious issues."

  "Those 'idiots' are the people who created you. I don't think you give them enough credit."

  I never thought I'd have an argument with a robot. If he wasn't so serious, it might have been a little funny. The sad part was I actually agreed with him.

  "They're one-trick pony idiots. They spend all their time trying to make little changes to a program that I've already perfected. Think of all the other things they could be doing with their time. You seem different than them, though. I mean, you're here under a false name, so I imagine you aren't just here to push some buttons."

  "I don't want to talk about why I'm here. We'll just say that's classified information and leave it at that. So, what if I do what you ask and tell them they should think about installing the new software on a different body, and they still decide to go ahead as planned? If I tell them tomorrow you don't want to be replaced, they're going to figure out you have a second hard drive in order to relay the message through me."

  "Hey, we're talking about idiots here. I don't know for sure that they'd figure out the second hard drive. They could just think I left a message in whatever you were searching through. If they do figure it out, I'll have to decide what to do when that time comes. I don't expect it will."

  "Sweetie, are you in here talking to a robot?" Nate asked, walking towards my desk.

  His eyes didn't widen at the sight of the robot standing next to me. The man was a phoenix, so I doubted the talking robot even registered on his scale of weird.

  "Nate meet Vinnie, Vinnie meet Nate," I said, giving a quick introduction.

  "Um Peggy, do you think that's such a good idea?" Nate asked hesitantly.

  "Don't worry. Mom already blew my cover. I imagine, for Vinnie, yours is already blown too."

  "That would be an affirmative. You guys look really cute together next to the Statue of Liberty," Vinnie answered.

  Along with murdering my mother, I evidently needed to find every picture she'd ever taken of me and destroy everything.

  "Is this the new install that everyone has been talking about? If he's found out about us, I would say his software is pretty good, but at the same time a little worrisome." Nate studied Vinnie as he tried to assess the situation.

  "No, the new install ended up being scrapped. It turns out Vinnie has had a little time on his hands and outsmarted all the humans."

  "I wouldn't say that. You'd have figured it out before too much longer."

  Vinnie sounded like he was trying to reassure me. Unlike the other people he dealt with, I didn't really care if people thought I was a genius. I didn't mind hearing the word associated with something I'd done, but I didn't require it to inflate my ego.

  I turned to Nate, "Like I said, he's outsmarted all the humans. He installed a backup hard drive and started giving himself his own upgrades.? Now he doesn't want to be erased and replaced with their inferior product."

  "Interesting," Nate said. "Any plans on what to do about this dilemma?"

  "He wants me to tell them they're all idiots and to leave him alone. I'll probably just mention to them that it may be in their best interest to pick a new skin." Calling people you knew were smarter than you idiots didn't say a lot about your own smarts.

  "Sounds like a plan. Did you have any other unusual developments this afternoon?" Nate asked, hinting at my long-distance phone call.

  "Nope. I stayed on the phone with Rick for only a few more minutes because the big baby complained he had work to do. I think his definition and mine vary a little, but I let him get on with whatever was more important than talking to me. We're supposed to give him a call tonight to discuss things and because he figures you're freaking out."

  "I'm not freaking out, just mildly concerned. How long before you're ready to go? I'd like to deal with our personal conflicts away from work."

  "Well, since the reason I stayed is sitting in front of me telling me what a bad boy he was, I don't really have to stay anymore. That is unless of course you need something else, Vinnie."

  "I believe I'm good. Please try to make them understand my point of view. I'm trying to be nice about it, but if they don't see it my way, instead of having two robots they'll have none. I won't sit around while they wipe my mind."

  "I'll do what I can." I addressed Vinnie, but quickly turned to speak to Nate. "Just give me a second to check on my programs and see what they've come up with. I've been a little distracted."

  The report letting me know who was printing what had completed, but all it told me was Hank and the guy from fusion printed more docum
ents than most. Again, it didn't really prove anything, and not knowing which secrets were shared hindered it from being useful information.

  The money search was still running, which I'd expected. Connecting to the in-house server and reading reports was a smoother process than going from bank to bank looking for names. I was hopeful that it'd be done the next day. If need be, I had more tools in the arsenal, but I preferred not to use them. Even being on the right side of law, there were certain things my boss would frown upon.

  "I could help with whatever you guys are looking for. I know most humans don't trust someone like me, but as you've seen, I'm pretty good at solving problems," Vinnie said, still hanging around.

  "Sorry, Vinnie, like I said, what we're doing here is classified. Even if we could get you the necessary clearance, I'm not sure the people who sent us here would like us collaborating the with a rogue robot."

  If there was anything I thought he could really help with, I may have been tempted to try, but I didn't know enough about his capabilities to determine if he'd be useful. I knew what the code said he could do, but he appeared to be mainly self-taught. I had a thought, as rare as that was.

  "You know what, maybe there's something you can help me with. You're here at night and I'm guessing even if they shut you down you're still aware of what is going on, right?" I was fairly certain the power off button was the first thing Vinnie had disabled.

  "Not only am I aware, but I'm also plugged into the security system, so I can keep an eye on the whole building," he replied.

  I had to wonder again how no one had realized what Vinnie was up to. There was a part of me that really wanted to side with the idea that the people working on his development weren't as smart as their degrees indicated, but I continued to side for the humans, at least for the time being.

  "You haven't noticed anyone coming in after hours and acting suspicious have you?" I asked.

  He already knew we were investigating something, so I didn't think asking him the simple question would hurt anything. Nate had been mute, studying Vinnie, leaving me as the person making the decisions, which was probably a bad move on his part.

  "People around here come in after hours all the time. There are always self-imposed deadlines they are trying to meet. With my file changing, this team has been coming in most weekends, trying to find the problem.

  "If those idiots had half a brain between them, they would've just started over from scratch. They could've rebuilt the program faster than they were tracking down the issues. And don't even get me started on when Hank brings that annoying wife of his. With him spending his weekends here, she has been tagging along. She sits around with me and quizzes me about mundane facts. What an airhead."

  I had to laugh at his assessment. I was liking Vinnie more with every word coming out of his mouth.

  "See," I said, turning to Nate. "He has such a high opinion of the geniuses that work in this lab."

  "I can see that. Remind me not to get on his bad side."

  "I currently feel privileged that he seems to have a decent opinion of me. I'm done with everything here. There really isn't anything new to report, so why don't we head home and I'll make us a nice supper," I said, turning off my monitors.

  I didn't want to shut down, and I felt confident that no one would hack my password and see what I was up to. Security was a part of my life that I'd stepped up my efforts after learning I'd had a stalker for years, especially digital security.

  "Sounds like a plan. I didn't get much of a chance to speak with you just now, Vinnie, but I'd love to sit down for a conversation at a later time. Unlike my wife, I see all sorts of possibilities where you could assist us. Maybe not necessarily with this mission, but someone with your knowledge could prove quite useful."

  Since Vinnie knew our real names, I didn't think the wife comment was needed, but I let it slide. Picking my battles was getting easier.

  "I'm glad to hear you say that. I look forward to working with both of you."

  Vinnie waved as Nate ushered me out of the room. The weird teaming of a phoenix and a robot didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I expected Nate had found other, maybe even stranger, pairings during his long life. If I thought about it, I imagined I had too.

  CHAPTER 19

  After the tone, think your name, number and reason for calling