Fighting Temptation

by S. M. Donaldson

  “Cade.” He lifts his head from the table. “Daria! Love of my life. That guy behind the bar said he won’t give me any more drinks.” He pulls me down and whispers in my ear, “Please go get me one more drink.”

  “They cut you off. Give me your keys.”

  “Why I gotta give you my keys?”

  “You’re drunk. Come on. I’ll take you to Russ and Anna’s.”

  He shakes his head. “No. They are probably fucking like rabbits. I can’t listen to that.”

  I sigh. “Well, where do you want me to take you?”

  He gives me that panty melting smile. “Your place.” “That’s not a good idea.”

  Carrie walks over behind him, rubbing his back. “I’ll take you to my place, Cade.” He looks back at her with his eyes half open. Then his eyes pop open fully. “Ah shit. It’s Satan’s Mistress” He holds his fingers up like a cross. “Back, she-devil, back.” He’s making a big show to piss her off. The other guys at the table are busting a gut laughing. I can’t help but laugh into my hands as she storms off.

  “See? I’m funny and charming. Why don’t you take me back to your place?”

  I shake my head. “No, Cade, come on. I’ll take you home.” “Nope, if you don’t want to be with me then you damn sure aren’t going to take me home like I’m a teenager.”

  I’ve about had all I can take for one day. “If you are going to act like a drunk teenager then maybe I should just call you a cab.”

  Our argument must be getting pretty loud because Jason speaks up. “Go with Daria. She’s gonna make sure you get home. You need to give her space.”

  He looks drunkenly at Jason. “Why do I need to give her space? We belong together. We’ve already had sex twice today and it was magical.”

  I am so fucking embarrassed. “Cade, shut up. Come on.” I pull him toward the door.

  We finally make it to my car and I get him settled in the passenger seat. He looks over at me as we are pulling out of the parking lot. “Did you hear that I caught my mom and Richard having sex?” He shivers.

  I burst out laughing. “Where did that come from? But to answer your question, yes, I heard.” “I was just thinking how everyone has somebody but us. Today, when Gabby was having the baby, all I could think about was what our kids would be like.”

  “We can’t talk about this. I’m not having kids. Ever.” Then it hits me again. “Fuck. I’m so stupid.”

  “What’s wrong?” “We’ve fucked twice and didn’t use a condom either time.” He makes a show of shushing me. “Shh. We never used condoms. I told you I haven’t been with anyone else. Cade Jr. wouldn’t get up for anyone else. Why? Have you been with someone else?”

  I snicker sober Cade would never have made the Cade Jr. remark. “No, I haven’t, but I’m also not on birth control anymore.”

  He smirks. “Great! We’re having a baby. You have to love me now.” Damn, he’s way too drunk. “I do love you, I just can’t be with you. You deserve better and hopefully, we are not having a baby.”

  I wait to hear an argument from him only to see that he’s passed out. Shit. I’m not going to wake up Russ and Anna. I know I’m part of the reason he’s this trashed. I guess he is going to my apartment. FUCK!

  I open my eyes. “Where the fuck am I?”

  Chapter 12

  Cade

  Man, my mouth tastes like ass. I wish whoever is beating that damn drum this early would stop. I think my eyelids are stuck to my eyes. I can’t open them.

  I open my eyes. “Where the fuck am I?”

  “Good question, ass face.”

  I sit up quickly. Too quickly. “Fuck, my head.”

  I look over to see Daria staring at me.

  “Here, take these aspirin and drink this water. I’m fixing some breakfast; you need to eat.” I shake my head, taking the medicine and swallowing almost the entire bottle of water. “Why am I here? How did I get here?”

  “Well, after you decided to drink most of the bar last night, I brought you here because you passed out in my car. I didn’t want to wake Russ and Anna.”

  “How did you get me out of the car?”

  “Very slowly, although you actually helped a little.”

  “I’m sorry you had to deal with me. What happened?”

  “What’s the last thing you remember?”

  “Um, it’s all kinda fuzzy.” “Here, I washed your clothes, everything but your boxers. I’m sure I have a pair of those somewhere in my clothes.”

  She walks to the bedroom and opens the door. I can tell it’s the master bedroom but none of the boxes are unpacked. She opens a clothes drawer and pulls out a pair of boxers. “Go take a shower. Maybe that’ll help.” “Thanks.”

  I follow her to the bathroom. I turn on the water and start trying to piece together last night. Stepping into the spray, I think. I remember the team coming in. I remember eating my wings. I remember Lucas hitting on Daria and her shooting him down. Carrie trying to grope me in the hallway. Oh shit, Daria and I screwed in the storage room. I’m such an ass.

  Then, for some reason I can’t remember, I started pounding beer and shots. What did we say to each other? I turn the shower off. Looking at myself in the mirror as I dry off, I realize I look like complete shit. Getting dressed quickly, I walk out to the kitchen. Man, I’ve missed her cooking.

  “Mmm, pancakes and bacon. My favorite.” I sit down to the breakfast bar to eat. I might as well break the tension. “So, bits and pieces of last night are coming back to me. Pretty much the last thing I remember is the storage room and pounding drinks after that. I’m not even positive what we said to each other in there.”

  She shakes her head. “Same shit. Why can’t we be together? I love you. Me telling you that you deserve better. Then you got pissed and stormed out. That’s when you started drinking heavily and telling everyone that gave you the opportunity that you loved me but I didn’t love you. That we’d had sex twice that day and it was, and I quote, magical. The best part is you pissed fucking Carrie off. You called her Satan’s bitch and threw up your fingers like a cross saying, ‘back, devil woman, back.’ That part was pretty funny. The guys thought it was hilarious.”

  Damn, I’m an idiot . “I’m sorry, Dar. I didn’t mean to embarrass you at work. Especially in front of the other guys on the team. I am truly sorry.”

  “There’s something else we need to talk about. Do you remember any of our conversation on the way home last night?”

  “I remember saying something about my mom and Richard. I remember saying something about Gabby having the baby. Then I remember me saying some shit about us having a baby. Wow. I was really drunk.”

  She takes a deep breath. “We had sex twice yesterday without condoms. Now, even though last night you assured me that you don’t have any STDs because Cade Jr. couldn’t get up for anyone else and I haven’t been with anyone else, I’m also not on any birth control right now. I haven’t had any need for it.”

  “First, I can’t believe I told you about Cade Jr.’s problems. Second, do you think we need to worry?” She shrugs. “I don’t think so. I’m close to starting so it’s not time to ovulate yet, but if you want me to, I can go get the morning after pill. I just thought you should know.”

  I shake my head. “No. Don’t go get that pill. If it happens, we can deal with it. But I just can’t let you go get that pill. Not with you. Is that what you want? Do you wanna go get the pill?”

  “No, but I wasn’t going to blindside you with the whole thing.” I bite a piece of bacon. “Okay, so we’ll deal with it if we have to. Let’s just not get worked up about it until we know something okay?” Damn this is good, “Babe, you haven’t lost your touch for cooking. Why are you so skinny?”

  She shrugs. “I really didn’t cook or eat much in the cabin. Plus I ran a couple of miles, like every day.” “You went running? Have you told Gabby? She’s going to get a kick out of this.” “Yes, I went running, smart ass. It was my escape and, no, I haven’t told
Gabby yet. I didn’t think she would really care about my running while she was having a baby.”

  “Good point. But I do have to ask you a question. How long have you lived in this place?”

  She takes a sip of her coffee. “A month now, I guess.”

  “So why haven’t you unpacked your bedroom?”

  “Just too many memories right now. Going through those boxes, it kinda hurts too much.”

  “I’ll help you if you want me to.” “It’s not about that. It’s just, when I go through those boxes, I realize how much I’ve had and lost in the past couple of years.”

  I put my fork down. “Daria, I may have been d runk and I’ve been denying it to myself and everyone else for the past six months. But I love you and I want us back. If you aren’t ready or whatever, I’ll be your friend. Talking to you the other day and today has been great. Well, minus today’s hangover.”

  “Cade, it’s not about my love for you. Don’t doubt that. It’s just- I love you enough to let you go. Being in my life is dangerous.”

  “Well, since we are on this subject... I was the one who got shot and you left before I could ask you. I feel like you owe me some honest answers. Starting with why do you use your stepfather’s last name? I have my ideas, but I want to hear it from you.”

  I sit back in my chair trying to figure out how to explain this. If I ever want anything between Cade and me I have to let him into my world. “My father is a part of an organization called the Dixie Mafia. There was an incident when I was younger. My parents felt like I would be safer if I used Jim, my stepdad’s, last name.”

  “What kind of incident?” “Cade, I really don’t want to talk about this. It’s in the past and that is where I prefer to leave it. Changing my name was supposed to be a way for me to get past all of it, but I don’t guess I ever will. As much as I wanted to have a normal relationship and for things to work out between us, I just know it can’t happen.”

  I throw my hands up trying not to get frustrated. “What was the incident? What happened that was so bad? I think I deserve some straight answers!”

  I can see that she’s getting mad. She jumps up f rom the table. “Fine! You wanna know? You really wanna know the ugly truth? Well, here it is! I was abducted after school one day when I was fifteen! I was beaten, raped, and left for dead in a ditch!”

  With that, she goes into the master bedroom and slams the door.

  Chapter 13

  Daria

  Sitting on the bed in what’s supposed to be my bedroom, I can’t believe I just blurted all of that out that quick. I’ve never done that. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. Damn it, I’m crying.

  My door opens and I can tell Cade is crying as well. He sits down next to me and rubs my arm. “Daria, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. But I’m glad you told me. Is that where the scars came from?”

  I wipe my nose. “Yes, those scars are from where they decided to torture me. You can’t see most of them. Plastic surgery took care of the rest.”

  “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry. Was that… Was that the first time that you had?” I nod to cut him off. “Yes, it was the first time. You don’t need to be sorry. I actually do kinda feel better now that I’ve told you. Now maybe you understand why I can’t be with you.”

  “What? No, I still want to be with you.” “Cade, you can’t. Those guys who broke in last year? They were after me to prove a point. They were some of the only people who knew where I was and knew my last name. As you well know, it didn’t matter who they hurt to get to me.”

  “Why is all of this happening to you?” “Most of it has to do with my real dad. The first attack was because some of his business associates weren’t happy with the way things were running in his area. They were mad after he refused to give in on some issues. They were making a point to him. They see me as his weakness.” “Why did they attack you again?”

  “Well, he found out some of his ‘associates’ were stealing product. When he sent them on their merry way, they wanted revenge.”

  “So no one actually sent them to you? They were just angry that they were basically fired? If you can be fired from a criminal organization,” he says, confused.

  “Yeah, I guess, but it can happen with someone else just as easy.”

  “What were they stealing?”

  I shake my head. “You don’t want to know. Let’s just put it this way. It wasn’t Bibles.”

  “Is that why you really quit dancing in school?” “Yes. Well, that a nd I had to change schools. Everyone that I went to school with knew who I was and knew what happened to me. So my parents decided I would go by Jones and they moved me to St. Mary’s. It wasn’t the fresh start any of us thought it would be. I got really messed up.”

  “Messed up how?” “Some of the rich kids that I went to school with introduced me to cocaine. It helped me forget and not feel. I was ashamed people still knew what happened to me, but it wasn’t like St. Mary’s was that far away from where I went to public school. Some of them acted like it was my fault.”

  “How long did you use?” “For almost two years. About six months before I came here, I was on a run. I had been gone from home a few days, hadn’t slept the entire time. I was in a house that was about to get busted when my real dad came to get me. After he brought me home, all three of my parents decided that, if I was going off to college in the fall, I had to go to rehab first.”

  “Wow. I can understand why you wanted a fresh start. I still wish you would’ve shared it with me. You’ve been through hell, Daria. I don’t want you to ever go through it again. Why didn’t your parents step in sooner to help you?”

  “For a while, they didn’t know. Then I think they were all in denial. Plus I was mean. I blamed my dad, my mom, my step-dad for everything that happened to me. I was violent at times towards my mom. But once I went to rehab, I started counseling. I could see that, yes, my father’s business was the reason it happened, but that I was in charge of my life and the decisions I make.”

  “So why do you still feel like you have to be alone? I don’t like you facing all of this alone. It kills me to know that you were alone for six months basically in that cabin.”

  “With you last year, I felt safe. I felt the most secure and the happiest I’d been in years. Once we broke up and then we were attacked, I knew I couldn’t ever promise someone it wouldn’t happen again. So I just don’t want to put someone through that.”

  “Don’t you feel like that should be my dec ision? I broke up with you last year because I thought you were lying to me. If you had told me, I never would’ve left your side.”

  “I still have nightmares.” I look up at him, almost pleading. “I have nightmares about that night. I see it all happening but most of the time the cops never come or I can’t get to you.”

  “Is that why you don’t stay in here?” I shake my head. “No, I haven’t unpacked in here yet. Every time I start to go through a box, I see something that reminds me of when I was happier. I found the picture I used to keep on my nightstand of you and me. It made me smile until I remembered that I was wearing that same shirt when we got attacked. Then I see Gabby or Anna’s handwriting on a box and I think about if they would’ve gotten home when we did. I wonder why they still like me. I mean, they came home to a wrecked house, a psychotic roommate, and a brother with a gunshot wound.”

  “First of all, they don’t like you. They love you. You are a part of our family.” He pulls me to his chest, stroking my hair. “I still love you. I love you more than I ever could anyone else on this planet, I think.”

  “But why, Cade? After all the hell I’ve put you through.” “Yeah, getting shot wasn’t at the top of my to -do list, but I’m fine. My hell started when I woke up in that hospital and couldn’t find you. I went home for the summer and I did. I tried to forget. I tried to see other people, but I just couldn’t. I may have been shit faced last night, but I was serious. I couldn’t have sex with anyon
e else.”

  “ How do we do this? I mean, there are still going to be things I can’t tell you. Some of the stuff with my dad I can’t breathe a word of to anyone.”

  “We’ll deal with it.” He looks down at me with a smirk. “But I do have one question I hope you can answer.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “What did you say or do to Skylar last year?” I laugh. “I made few points to him. I punched him in the throat so he would shut up and listen. Then I had some of my father’s associates follow him around campus to take the flyers down. Since I’m assuming his father is big in business here, he took my warning seriously when I told him who I was affiliated with.”

  “Wow, no wonder he looked like he was about to piss himself when he left the football team.” “Look, that’s not something I do very o ften. I try to distance myself from my father’s friends. That day, though, I’d had enough. I was tired of how that asshole just kept assuming he could treat people the way he did and that no one would do anything about it. So I just had to show him that I had bigger balls than him.” I chuckle again, thinking about that day. “Oh and I made him apologize to Anna. Like face to face.” It feels good for the mood to lighten a little bit. I’ve always felt like I could joke around and be silly with Cade. I’ve missed having that.

  He pats on the top of one of the boxes. “How about you and I unpack these boxes together? It’ll be like a trip down memory lane.”

  I think about it for a minute. “I’m not sure it’s the greatest idea, but I’ll try.”

  “Good, that’s all I’m asking.”

  In just a few hours, we’ve unpacked all of the boxes.

  Chapter 14

  Cade

  In just a few hours, we’ve unpacked all of the boxes.

  “So you think you might try to sleep in here tonight?”

  She nods. “Maybe. Come on, let’s go in the living room.” Walking over to her sofa, we sit down. I smile. “Today has been the best day I’ve had in a very long time. With the exception of the massive hangover this morning.”