Fighting Temptation

by S. M. Donaldson

  “Why do you think I asked him to be at lunch with us? I knew he would take care of you.” I’m so angry that I just see red. I draw back and slap my father so hard across the face that he stumbles. “You knew he would take care of me? Well, thank God, because someone has needed to all of these fucking years. Every bad memory I have in my life has been connected to you. This sounds horrible, but I thought, since you were dead, I would be safe now. Hell, I even let myself get excited about having someone in my life and being pregnant.”

  My dad stops me. “You’re pregnant?” He looks stunned. “Yes. I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment the day you ‘died,’ but I missed it. So I went on for another week or so before I had the balls to find out. Yes, I’m pregnant. I have my first appointment next week.”

  He stumbles and sits down. “I’m going to be a grandfather. But I don’t get to be a grandfather.”

  “What are you saying?” “Daria, I told you I would let you and only you know I was safe. I arranged this meeting to say goodbye for real. I am going far away from here and I don’t know that I’ll be able to contact you any further. I sent you that text today. It was what you asked for, but I needed to talk to you. To let you know I’m safe”

  “Yes, I asked for it before I thought you were dead. I mean, shit, Dad, I thought you were moving, not staging your death.”

  “I know, sweetheart, and things changed before I could really help you expect anything. Look, we don’t have much time. I’ve put Cade off. He only gave me two hours.”

  “Wait, he knows?” “Not exactly. He reported you miss ing, so they had the same cop come for a statement that took your statements at the explosion. I knew he would come looking for you. So I sent him word that you were safe and would be back at your car by a certain time. Now, he doesn’t know it’s me. You are the only person.”

  “Why? Why even drag me in here and tell me this shit?” “I do love you, Daria, and I’ve tried to always make life better for you. That was actually one of the reasons I let them stage my death. I knew that you would be set for life with everything I had to leave you. I also wanted to make sure your mother was taken care of.”

  “So money is supposed to make it all better? Today, when I was waking up here, I honestly thought it was someone after their part of what you left me.”

  “I know you’re angry, but I made sure everything you and Donna received was free and clear off all of my business partners. Now I have to say goodbye.” He pulls me into a hug. “You take care of yourself and that grandbaby. First order is take some of that money and go get yourself something safer to drive.”

  I just nod. “I do love you, Dad, and I wish for just once you could have a normal life.” He kisses my forehead. “I do, too, sweetheart. I do, too. Now, go on, get in the car. They’ll take you back. Don’t worry. I’ll keep tabs on you through some of the agents, hell they have been pretty resourceful. I wish I’d have had them on my team a long time ago. They walk that fine line between good and evil pretty well. Now, go back to that man who is worried crazy about you.”

  The ride back to my car is weird. My head still hurts and I’m exhausted. As we pull into the parking lot of the center, I see Cade already parked next to my little Volkswagen. I nod to the man whom I’d kicked in the balls earlier when I was sprinting away from the bathroom. “Thanks. Um, please keep him safe.”

  He just gave me a curt nod. “Yes, ma’am, I intend to.” As I step out of the black SUV, Cade jumps out of his car and comes running over. The SUV takes off. Cade pulls me into his chest. I look up to see Linc and Russ standing there with him. They both wrap their arms around both of us.

  “Jeez, guys, I don’t need to be in the middle of the shit that happens in your locker room.” I say trying to lighten the mood. I’m sure by now the guy’s sense that my kidnapping was a rouse.

  They all chuckle and Cade pulls back, looking at me. He looks me up and down, making sure I’m okay. I place my hand on his chest.

  “I’m fine. Perfectly fine. I just have a headache and I’m ready for some sleep.”

  “Okay, we’ll talk once we get in the car. Linc and Russ are going to take care of my car.”

  “Sounds good to me. I’m just ready for a hot shower and my bed. Oh, and something to eat.” “I can handle that.” “Good. I knew I could count on you.” I wink at him. “Can we stop by Sonic? I really want a Reese’s Blast and a double bacon cheeseburger.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, p reggers, I guess we can stop there. Here are a couple Tylenol and some water for your head.”

  I can tell he’s trying to lighten the mood too. I kiss him on the cheek and take the medicine.

  Chapter 28

  Cade

  I had already decided I wasn’t going to pepper her with questions on the way home. She looked so tired. So frail. When I find out who is responsible for this, I’m going to kill them.

  Once we arrive home, I open the door. “Do you want me to come shower with you or would you rather be by yourself right now?”

  She nods. “Showering with you would be great. I need you right now. I just want to be with you. I need to feel your touch. ”

  We un dress and step into the shower. “Are you going to tell me what happened today?” I start soaping her back.

  She looks at me. “Between you and me, my dad isn’t dead. He’s in witness protection. His death was staged.”

  She spends a little while longer explaining everything that happened that day. I can’t believe a father would do this shit to his daughter. Although from the sounds of things, she nailed his ass to the wall about some it. I’m glad she’s started to realize I will always be there for her. So far, that is the only thing that asshole and I can agree on. That I would do anything for her. Well, and yes, I’d like for her to get a new car, a safer car.

  Once we climb into bed, I start rubbing her feet and legs. She sighs.

  “Hmm, that feels so good.” She looks over at me. “A penny for your thoughts.” “Just relax. I was just so worried about you today. I think it shaved about five years off my life. I do have to say I don’t care if I ever see your father again. If I do, I don’t care if he’s ninety fucking years old, I’ll beat the ever living shit out of him. Today, he was careless with two people I love. I’ll never forget that.”

  I lie beside her, brushing her hair back from her face. It doesn’t take long before her breathing evens out and she’s asleep. I’d go text that same unknown number from earlier today, but I know it was a burn phone. I seriously hope the next time I see her damn dad is in a coffin.

  ~*~*~ The past few days have flown by. Daria made some decisions on where she wants to send part of her money. I think she picked some awesome crisis and counseling centers. She established two scholarships for students from her old high school. She’s doing so many great things. I love every part of her, but her heart has to be the biggest I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

  This afternoon, when I came in, I saw her looking at realestate ads. “Hey, baby, what are you doing?” She smiles. “I don’t want to live in an apartment with a baby. So I’m going to put this place up for sale and I’m looking at a few cute houses in Gabby’s neighborhood. I like the area and I know it’s always been your dream for yours and Gabby’s kids to grow up living next door to one another.”

  I smile. “You don’t have to do this. We can wait until I’m out of school and I’m bringing in money, too.” “Don’t worry about it, Cade. I know you’re going to be in school for a few more years for sports medicine. Plus, it isn’t like you don’t have your own fund. Look, my asshole father hasn’t really ever done anything but make my life miserable. I want a house; it would make my life easier. So guess what I’m getting on his dime?”

  I shake my head. “I can see what you’re saying, baby, but I just don’t feel great about you being my sugar momma.”

  She smiles. “But I make such a good one. Real ly, to be honest, I’m thinking I may need to live close to Gabby to keep me calm
through this pregnancy stuff. I’m not good with emotional stuff.”

  “I think you’ll be okay but, if it’ll make you happy, then I’ll be happy with you.” “Which leads me to my n ext question. Are you going to move all your stuff in with me soon? I mean you never stay with Anna and Russ anymore.”

  I laugh. “I’d planned on it, but seeing as how we’re probably going to be moving, I’ll just wait.” “Good. Also, I am looking at some SUVs. I figure my Jetta has put in a lot of good years, but with a baby coming, I need something bigger and safer.”

  “I agree. It’s your money. Do whatever you want to with it. But if you start shopping for me, I’d like a nice boat or maybe a nice rifle or compound bow.”

  “I want you to think of this money as ours. I mean, I know we aren’t married but, to me, we might as well be.”

  “Okay. It’ll take me awhile to get used to that, but I’ll try. I’m with you; that’s the most important part.”

  She smiles and kisses me. “Are you excited about our appointment tomorrow?”

  I pull her into my chest on the couch. “Yes. I’m probably going to be like a kid on Christmas Eve tonight.”

  She laughs and we settle in for the evening.

  ~*~*~ I find myself up and ready to go in the morning. I’m so excited. I can tell Daria’s getting annoyed with me but I don’t care.

  After we make it to the doctor’s office and she gets registered, it seems like forever until they call us back. The nurse looks at Daria and I can tell she’s holding something back.

  “When did you take your pregnancy test, dear?”

  Daria looks at me. “Um, a week or so ago. I was really only a week late.” “Okay, well, we are going to take some blood and send you over for an ultrasound to tell exactly how far along you are. Sometimes the levels in your urine can yoyo this early in a pregnancy.”

  We both nod our heads. I can tell we’ re both worried as hell now. They draw the blood and send us over to ultrasound. They pull out this wand that looks like a huge vibrator. The tech slips a condom on it and slides it inside. I can’t help it. I’m think pervy thoughts now. The tech taps some things on the screen and takes out the wand. She looks over at us.

  “The doctor will be in soon. He’ll go over the ultrasound with you.”

  A few minutes later, the doctor comes in. “Hi, Daria. I’m Dr. Dosier.”

  She smiles. “Yes, we met briefly when my friend Gabby gave birth a few weeks ago.” “Ah, Gabriella is a sweet girl.” He pulls a stool up and sits down. “Okay, were you two trying to get pregnant?”

  Daria looks at him. “No.” “After further testing, we realize that, in the last few days, you had a miscarriage. Now, keep in mind that sometimes this happens.”

  “But I haven’t bled or anything.” “No and sometimes this early on, you wouldn’t, not like you’re thinking anyway. Now I’m going to do a pelvic exam and some testing. But my best guess is that it just wasn’t meant to be right now. If all of our tests come back okay, then by all means, you’ll be free and clear to try again.”

  I can feel tears burning in my eyes, but I’m trying to stay strong for Daria. The doctor steps out of the room to get the nurse they have to do some little procedure.

  Daria looks at me. “I guess I was right all along. I wasn’t meant to have the happily ever after.” I’m about to argue with her when the doctor comes back in. Watching her in pain is killing me. All I can do is hold her hand and tell her it will be okay.

  Chapter 29

  Daria

  Sitting here while Dr. Dosier tells me that the miscarriage isn’t my fault and that sometimes this just happens, I keep tuning in and out.

  “Daria, sometimes it just isn’t in the plans of the big guy upstairs. I know many people believe that doctors think they’re God, but I know different. I know I couldn’t do anything without Him.” I just nod and stare off into space. “What I’m trying to say is that, chances are, if you hadn’t taken a test as early as you did, you would never have known that you were pregnant.”

  I look at the doctor. “Can we go now?” Cade looks like he’s r eady to cry and I want to crawl under a rock somewhere and die. I knew better. I. Knew. Better. Why did I let myself believe that this life was possible?

  “Daria, can you hear me?” I look at Dr. Dosier and nod. He’s speaking, but it’s muffled. “Has she ever shut down like this before?”

  Cade brushes my hair back. “Yes. Um, I can call her therapist if I need to.” “I’m going to have to admit her to do a D&C and some testing anyway, plus we can give her a sedative to get some rest. If you’ll give me the name of her therapist, I’ll contact them.”

  Cade looks at me. “Daria. Baby, look at me.”

  I look up at him. “Yes.” “Dr. Dosier is going to put you in the hospital. You have to have a little procedure done and Dr. Schmitt wants to come by to talk to you.”

  Kno wing how my mind is working right now, I’m sure I need to talk to her. My mind is moving so fast. Suddenly, it sinks in. My baby died. My. Baby. Died. Uncontrollable tears stream down my face.

  “Daria, baby, slow down your breathing. Look at me.” I’m shaking and I start to feel like I can’t breathe. I start gasping. I look up at Cade’s face and nod, trying to slow my breathing. “I’m trying.”

  He brushes my hair back. “I know.” After a few minutes of doing my breathing techniques, he kisses me. “Hey, let’s get you dressed and we’ll walk over to the hospital, okay?”

  I nod. “Okay. Can you call my mom?”

  “I already have. All right, are you ready to try and walk?”

  “Sure.”

  ~*~*~ After a couple of days in the hospital, I’m feeling better. I’ve talked with Dr. Schmitt several times. I’m glad that I have her to talk to. Cade’s been wonderful; he’s been like a mother hen.

  I’ve had so many visitors: Gabby, Linc, Anna, Russ, Lanie, and several of the guys and girls affiliated with the team. However, today, Coach came by to visit. It’s one of the few times I’ve ever had him speak to me directly.

  Cade runs downstairs to pick up some lunch, and Coach sits in the chair, waiting for Cade to come back. He tells me about how he and his wife were young like Cade and me when they fell in love. That they had to marry because they found out she was pregnant and things were so much different then. She also had a miscarriage, but it wasn’t as early as mine. She was close to three months. I’m devastated enough at only five or six weeks; that far along, I’m not sure I would’ve come back from it. They worked through all of that, though, and went on to have three beautiful daughters. He lost her to breast cancer a couple of years ago. I cry while he tells me his story.

  He smiles at me. “Daria, honey, I’m not telling you these things to make you cry. I want you to understand that, good and bad, life goes on. You and Cade can go on to have a beautiful life, and hopefully love each other until your dying days.”

  Cade walks back in. “Hey, Coach. You better not be up here putting the moves on my girl.” Coach chuckles. “You jackass, you wish you had moves like me. No, I just came by to check on you guys. Share a couple of stories with Daria, try to show her that you guys aren’t alone.”

  I smile. “Thanks, Coach. It was really sweet of you to stop by. I love the flowers.”

  Cade laughs. “Jeez, Coach. And you brought her flowers. Are you trying to make me up my game?” “Son, as beautiful and smart as this girl is, you better always be trying to up your game.” He stands up and heads for the door; he and Cade give each other one of their back-slapping hugs.

  Cade shakes his hand. “Thanks for coming by, Coach.”

  After Coach leaves, Cade comes over and sits on the bed, snuggling up to me. He kisses me.

  “I brought you a surprise.” I smile. “You did? What is it?”

  He pulls out the brown bag he brought in with him. “Some Ben and Jerry’s.”

  “Oh. Give me!” My mom comes in while we’re eating. “Hey, guys. Everything okay today?” She�
�s been here every day since I was admitted.

  I smile. “Yes, ma’am. My wonderful guy here just brought me some Ben and Jerry’s.”

  “Yummy!”

  “So Dr. Dosier and Dr. Schmitt said I should be able to go home today.” Mom smiles. “That’s great. Cade, honey, why don’t you run home and grab Daria some clean clothes? That way you can get some fresh clothes and take a shower, too.”

  I laugh. “Dude, my mom is saying you smell.”

  My mom smacks my arm. “No, I just know how it feels to want to shower in your own shower.”

  I look at Cade. “I would appreciate it if you could go get me some things from home.”

  He smiles and kisses me. “Sure thing. I’ll see you in a little bit.” As soon as he’s out the door, my mom looks at me. “You’re hiding something from me, Daria Christine. Tell me what it is.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Are you okay? Is it something they found in the test?”

  I shake my head. “No. It’s nothing like that. Mom, sit down.”

  “Sweetie, you’re scaring me.”

  “Dad’s alive.”

  Shockingly, my mom just sits there and starts laughing like a madwoman.

  “Mom, are you okay? Do I need to call Dr. Schmitt?” “No honey. To be quite honest, nothing that man does would shock me. I was devastated to begin with. Then I got to thinking about how he left everything. How you saw everything happen. What better witness than a grieving daughter? How nothing he left you or me was tied to any of his associates. I know your father and, if I know one thing, he had several things tied to other people. But he cleared all of that up ahead of time.”

  “Seriously. You had the feeling and you didn’t share it with me?” “You’ve been through so much. I didn’t want to talk to you about my suspicions. Your father did feel guilty about all he put you through. That part was the honest to God truth. I know he actually did this for you. He loved you and he loved me. He just didn’t know how to do it like normal people. Why do you think he bought you that house on the beach?”