Monkeying Around [Drunk Monkeys 10] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tymber Dalton

  Tank sipped her coffee. Of course there is, dumbass. We just made Watergate look like a non-alcoholic Mormon frat party.

  Again, one of those things she couldn’t say. Hell, there was a good chunk of the kids here who wouldn’t even know what that was without Googling it.

  Even as her group celebrated around her, Tank forced herself to stay present, to not see the face of the man she’d shot in the street as she apologized to him.

  Corporal Ellis Winchester. Single, fortunately. But he had a mother in Illinois.

  Bubba assured her the four men were buried with full military honors, and that their families would be fully compensated. None of them had been married or had kids.

  Sergeant David Bowlins.

  Specialist Colby Gaile.

  Specialist Chase Parkins.

  Gaile had been the other one run down in the street. Bowlins had been behind the wheel, and Parkins had been riding shotgun, likely the one whose shots killed Gatsby and Connell.

  Five.

  Fucking.

  Minutes.

  Tank held her cup of black coffee in both hands, as if to warm them, and held it up to her lips so she could stare over the rim at Sylvan.

  The girl wore an air of sadness—Tank didn’t know if it made her a bitch to be happy to see that—but Sylvan was smiling. Moved on. Focused on her new anchor in the storm, a role Paxton seemed happy to play.

  Tank had eased up on how she handled dealing with Alpha, trying to make it look like a natural progression on her part now that Sylvan was with one of “their own.”

  Ironic.

  Tank wasn’t even one of them. Not really.

  She’d led this band of kids across the country and now to a different farking country, just to help depose the President of the United States in what amounted to a bloodless, Constitutional coup.

  Maybe I am evil and I just don’t know it.

  Tank slipped away unnoticed from the celebration and down to the secure communications lab. With her ID giving her full access, no one challenged her being in that section of the base.

  The young private on duty also didn’t give her any grief when she asked him to patch her into a specific secure sat-com radio frequency link that Tank prayed was still functioning. She’d been afraid to check it out before now, scared that she might find it no longer worked. The hope that it was still working, versus a cruel reality that it wasn’t, was more comforting and had kept her going.

  Curious, but polite, he did what she asked, acting a little surprised himself when it actually worked. He handed her the handset.

  “It’s a limited-time connection that will automatically time out after ten minutes.”

  “I only need five. Can you give me a little privacy? Even if you just have to stand over by the door?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ll…turn my back.”

  Tank smiled. “Just try not to listen, and don’t repeat what you hear. Classified. Got it?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  God bless the polite RCAF.

  She spoke into the handset. “Foxtrot tango whiskey deuce niner trey alpha calling base niner niner foxtrot sigma gamma. Over.”

  There was a hiss of static that stirred her guts like bad, reheated chili on a stove. She was just about to repeat the callout when a man’s voice answered. “Base niner niner foxtrot sigma gamma. This is a secure official channel, state your business. Over.”

  Time to make this rank count for something. “Get me Lt. Colonel Barnesworth. Callout code goosedown flannel one. Over.”

  “Hold this connection. It’ll take a minute. Over.”

  Tank sank into the chair and closed her eyes, her fingers tightening around the handset. Yes, her father had drilled a lot of stuff into her from a very young age, as had her mom. Things that had put her where she was today, things that had allowed her to survive.

  Things that had hardened her in the good ways, the necessary ways.

  But before she’d gone off to basic, she’d been given one secret code to always hold on to, and that she’d always kept in reserve, never before using.

  Until now.

  A woman’s voice came on the line and that’s when Tank lost it. She squeezed her eyes shut against the tears streaming down her face.

  “Colonel Barnesworth, here. Fiji, is that you? Over.”

  “Mommy, it’s me,” she whispered. “Please tell me you’re safe. Over.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m okay. What’s wrong? What happened? Are you all right? Over.”

  Tank could barely talk through her tears. “We did it. Mission accomplished. There’s a vaccine. My next step is to get to Manila. Over.”

  There was a pause. “I love you, sweetheart. I’m proud of you. You find your father, you tell him I told him to get his damn ass back stateside. He’s officially retiring. That it’s an order, and I don’t care if he outranks me. And tell him I love him. Over.”

  “Roger roger. I’m sorry…I just needed to hear your voice. Over.”

  “I’m so proud of you, baby. When we can finally get out of this damn hole, I’m baking the biggest feast you ever saw. Over.”

  Tank glanced at the connection timer, which showed ten seconds left. “I’m about to lose the link. I love you, Mom. Please stay safe. Over.”

  “Love you, too, baby. Hug your father for me. That’s an order. Over.”

  Tank managed a laugh through her tears. “Yes, ma’am. Over and out.”

  “Stay safe. Over and out.”

  Tank sat there for a moment, trying to breathe through the emotional storm, trying to stuff it all back inside her.

  She hadn’t cried in…well, a while. Against her training, against her mission, against her own personal code.

  After another deep breath, she wiped at her face and rose, turning.

  The guy still stood facing the wall.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate it.”

  He turned. “No problem, ma’am.” He walked over and picked up a box of tissues from the corner of the desk and offered it to her.

  “Thanks.” She took a couple and blew her nose. “I meant it, though. What I just did is classified. If you need to, talk to Papa or Alpha. They’ll confirm it.”

  “Ma’am, the only people who can swipe their IDs and get into this room are top security clearance personnel. The very fact that you could walk in here by yourself with your badge means you have clearance, and I didn’t hear a dang thing.”

  “You guys are the best.”

  “We have good personnel in this base, ma’am.”

  She smiled. “I meant you Canadians in general, but sure, let’s go with that.”

  “Can I ask a question, though? Just between us?”

  “Don’t know if I can answer it, but sure.”

  “What did that callout code mean? ‘Goosedown flannel 1.’ Is that a special mission code?”

  She smiled. “Family code. Sometimes, a girl just needs to talk to her mom and hear her voice.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  General Joseph Arliss looked up as Charlotte Kennedy walked into the VP’s office. It was 0500 on the second of February, a Sunday morning, and he and Zach Craymer had already been talking for well over an hour.

  Not even the first—or last—of many talks they’d be having.

  “Ah, there she is,” Arliss said. “Sit down, please. We need to chat.”

  She pulled up short. “What’s going on?”

  “Need you to sit down, Charlotte,” he repeated.

  It would be the only time he’d repeat it.

  He’d also passed word to Reverend Karsu to meet them there in Zach’s office at 0700. The reverend already knew what was going on and would be ready for the Kite vaccine update presser that would take place immediately after Charlotte stepping down.

  It’d be Craymer’s first presser as President. Arliss wanted the country’s first and most vivid image of Craymer to be announcing the distribution of Kite vaccines.

  Hard to discredit tha
t in the middle of a debate. No matter what someone tried to throw at him, Craymer could always default to, “I made sure our country got the Kite vaccine.”

  No-brainer. Especially since he was involved with the logistics of it, even before now.

  Arliss had made sure to set it up that way, and made sure Craymer had been giving regular press conferences about it.

  Arliss noticed Charlotte eyed him like one might warily watch a still and growling dog that had its eyes on them as she widely circled him and took the other seat in front of Zach’s desk.

  Arliss, who was dressed in civvie clothes this morning, sat back, crossed his legs, and smiled. “How long have we known each other, Charlotte?”

  She frowned. “I don’t know. Several years. Why?”

  “What is the one thing that you more than anyone should know by now about me?”

  She still looked confused. Finally, she shook her head.

  “I don’t bluff, Charlotte. That is what you should know about me. Things are going to change around here. Starting today.”

  “What? But I did everything you said!”

  “Yes, you did. Exactly as I planned for you to do. Unfortunately, you are a weak link in a very overstressed chain. You have been for a while. When you were elected, I didn’t expect Kite. I thought it would take at least one more term for me to set my plans in motion to rid this country of the metaphorical plague that’s put it exactly where we now sit. Kite, unfortunately, both expedited my plans as well as assisted them. Nothing better than a state of emergency for completing a bloodless exchange of power.”

  “What?” There was that clueless but breaking dawn of realization starting to simmer in her gaze. “You’re—”

  “I’m saying you’re going to sign the letter of resignation that I’m going to put in front of you shortly, Charlotte. There will be a press conference this morning at 0900. At that press conference, you’ll read the statement I provide you, short and sweet, addressing the issue of the facts that have been revealed in the press. You’ll give the country a heartfelt and tearful mea culpa that you were only trying to protect our nation from a disastrous threat, then you’ll announce your resignation, effective immediately. We’ll get Zach sworn in, and then he’ll proceed to make a joint announcement with the CDC. He’ll talk about how well the vaccine distributions are going. How the food distributions are being implemented. How he’s signing executive orders extending the electricity and natural gas and water utility exemptions until the end of May.”

  Her expression hardened. “I won’t do it!” She stood. “You can’t make me!”

  Arliss cocked his head and looked at her, motioning to the agent standing behind her in the shadows of the corner of the room.

  He walked forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “Madame President,” the man said, “you need to take your seat.”

  “Enjoy that title while you have it, Charlotte,” Arliss said. “Because you don’t have another option.”

  Arliss could tell she was trying to think about running. But his man’s hand was still on her shoulder, and he was no idiot. He would make sure she sat if she didn’t do it voluntarily.

  She slowly sank into her chair.

  “Now you’re seeing things my way,” Arliss said, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward. “See, here’s the thing. You haven’t seen all the shit that’s hit the fan overnight. I specifically left orders not to tell you. Between Hannibal Silo shilling votes for you, and Wall Street having their hands so deep in your pockets that they’re fingering your clit even when you’re sitting in the Oval Office, I declare you unfit for office. The President takes an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States. When they are unable to fulfill that oath, it’s up to them to step down.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says the audio, video, and paperwork about Barstow, for starters,” he said.

  “You were involved in that, too!” she shot back.

  “Oh, really? Actually, no, I wasn’t. Nowhere anywhere does my name appear in any of the paperwork. Nowhere am I in any of the pictures or video of the Situation Room. Because I wasn’t involved.”

  He sat back again. “There will, however, be a wave of resignations this morning once President Craymer here makes a few phone calls. If not resignations, there will be a sudden and tragic outbreak of guilt-ridden suicides among some of the high brass in the military and your cabinet.”

  Her mouth flapped open and shut a few times, finally ending on shut.

  “Don’t worry, dear. You aren’t the only one who’ll be out of a job by the end of the day. The resignations are already flowing in as we speak. You were actually my last stop on the list. I’ve been going since last night and, frankly, I could use a damn cup of coffee.”

  He offered her a smile. “You took a lot of PAC money, Charlotte. Too damn much. A million here or there, I could have overlooked that. But your party is now controlled by money, not by principles. If there ever were any principles left in the past decade or so.”

  “What about…” She stared up at the agent, who still had his hand on her shoulder, before looking back at Arliss. “I—we did everything you told us to.”

  “I know you did. A grateful nation thanks you for your willingness to cooperate and help pull them from the brink during their country’s darkest hour. But even as we speak, Charlotte, there are a lot of sudden vacancies in big business. People who left town to escape because they could afford to. People who could afford it because of all the little people who couldn’t. People who made them their money and then suffered because they had none of their own.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I told you—vacate the office. I’m being generous to you by allowing you to resign at all. But, lo and behold, the country is in great shape because of what we’ve accomplished with a Kite vaccine. Over twenty-five percent of our population will be vaccinated by the end of next week, with more getting protected every day. The world will slowly but surely catch up to that. You helped save the world. Now, it’s up to me and Zach here to save our country so we don’t immediately go back to business as usual with big business.”

  “I can’t just resign!”

  “You can, and you will. There is no other option for you at this point. You will put your signature on that form. And you will leave office quickly, quietly, and without making any further statements on the matter.”

  “Or what?” she shot back.

  He chuckled and leaned forward, meeting her gaze. “Really, Charlotte, do we have to go there? Well, I could simply have you kill yourself, but I don’t think you’d really benefit from the message there. So if you don’t resign, starting with your daughter, you will as of tonight find yourself starring in the middle of the messiest high-profile murder trial this country has ever seen.”

  “Wh–wha—”

  “What will I do? My dear, your daughter will suddenly lose her shit, as they say, go insane, and kill her beloved and publicly popular fiancé. Of course she’ll claim she didn’t do it, but by the time I’m finished with her, even she’ll doubt herself and think maybe, just maybe she did do it. There will be Secret Service witnesses to it, after all. And unfortunately there will be a need to redecorate the private residence because, tsk, blood spatter. Then I’ll go after Albert. Maybe jail, maybe a sudden death, I’m not sure yet. So many options.” He pointed a finger at her. “But that will all be on you.”

  “I did what you asked!”

  “Yes, you did. What you didn’t know is that I’ve been planning for years to take this country back from big business and the special interest money groups. I thought it’d take longer, of course, but Kite helped. I already have the people in place to take over, both in business and in your party. The right people will be allowed to run this country the way it should be. Not a military machine, and not simply a mercenary meat grinder, running through workers one right after the other for big business to line their pockets. We’re done with that. New days, new ways, my
dear.”

  Zach slid the folder across his desk toward Arliss. Arliss picked it up and opened it. “Your phone lines into and out of the residence have been disconnected. As have your cell phones. You’ll be escorted back there, and you all will stay there until you’re summoned in a couple of hours, when you’ll stand before the cameras and make the announcement. Zach here will make a statement, and we’ll get him sworn in immediately, as well as the Speaker, who is also aware of what’s going on.”

  “One of yours, I suppose?” She practically spat it.

  “If by ‘mine’ you mean someone sick of watching this country being dry-fucked up the ass straight into the ground, sure, okay. Mine.” He laid the papers, three copies, on the desk in front of her and handed her a pen. “Sign.”

  With a trembling hand, she reached out, took the pen and signed the papers.

  “Excellent,” he said, picking them up and examining them. “Smart choice.” He tucked the papers back into the folder and offered her a smile. “This gentleman, as well as three others, will escort you back to the residence. Be ready at 0830. You will not leave the residence until Zach, the Speaker, and I arrive. I suggest fixing your hair, minimal makeup, and wear black. Something somber in tone.”

  Without a word, she stood and left, followed by the agent.

  Arliss sat back and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, that was about as much posturing as I’d expected from her.”

  Zach nodded. “And now?”

  “Now I go get me some damn coffee, a shower, and put on my uniform.”

  “When are you going to tell her about the indictments?”

  “I’ll let Bill have that honor. He’s been chomping at the bit to file charges against her ever since I showed him all the evidence last night. But he’ll have to hold off for a few months yet.”

  “She has no clue what’s going to slam into her, does she? Her own attorney general indicting her?”

  Arliss shrugged. “Not my problem right now. My immediate concern is distributing as much Kite vaccine to the people in as quick a manner as we can. Then I’ll focus on getting the rest of these shit-stains out of our government, keeping their crony business cum dumps out of government from this point forward, and finally being able to retire knowing I made an honest difference in putting things right.”