“Hear me now, Claire. Nay a chance will be taken that you dinna ken my meaning. When I claimed you it was for more than a night,” Ian began.
She was trapped like a deer in headlights. While Ian’s face was neutral, his eyes glowed at the reference. For just a moment, their eyes locked and they were back at that inn. She could almost feel his skin against hers and hear him asking her to be his. The blush was hot on her cheeks as her body responded unbidden with heat coiling low in her belly. It was obvious he knew everything she was feeling and remembering. It was clear in his eyes.
At that moment at the inn, with his body covering hers, she hadn’t completely understood the full implication of what he had offered. Her mind and body had been lost in a blinding need for him. Even now, she doubted she would have said no to making love if she had known it could have left her married or heartbroken. That it had taken every ounce of strength she had to deny him as they had talked the previous night in the rain ran through her mind. How in the world am I supposed to be strong enough to say no again? Why would I ever want to say no to him?
She turned away to blink away the moisture that threatened to become tears.
Ian’s voice broke into her haze of thought, and his voice softly called her name. “Claire.” She heard it so clearly, how he was asking for far more than her attention.
Snap out of it. If I answer him now, my promise is broken. Stop thinking about him and start thinking about the implications. I understand a language I’ve never heard before. Why?
The annoying voice in her head was right. She had vowed to leave him alone for a very good reason. Mutual desire did not equate to his taxes being paid or keeping the people she had met from starvation. They were why she would keep her promise.
Getting out the only words she could form, Claire said quietly, “Maybe the door I came through did more than just change my place and time. Do you think it could have enabled me to understand the way people talk here?” Daring a glance up, Claire saw Ian regain his composure. The want was still in his eyes, but it was tempered now.
He inhaled deeply before he replied, “It makes the most sense. Your passage here appears to have given you a tool to survive.”
If only it had given me more strength, she thought. She was going to need it. “Since it seems like the most rational explanation, let’s assume it’s right.”
“Tell me you have always kenned my meaning,” Ian asked softly.
“Always, Ian. I swear it,” she answered. A chill crept down her spine as his hands fell to his side.
For several long minutes, the room was silent as each took time to come to terms with one more goodbye. Ian finally broke the quiet. “So, Finella took a liking to you. Count yourself fortunate, for you are one of the few.” Ian took a long drink before asking his next question. “Did Aliana introduce you to many in the clan today? ‘Tis my hope that all who greeted you were as kind.” The look he gave spoke of dread at what the answer might hold.
“Well, I met the women in the kitchens, the ones out back who were hanging the laundry to dry, the man who tends the horses, a few from the village who were in the courtyard, and the men who were out training. Everyone was very welcoming and nice.” Claire didn’t add how Aliana made of point of telling the men that she was single and from a fine clan or how long they had spent with the men. “Honestly, it will take me a while just to remember everyone’s names.”
Ian’s look said he knew what had been left out. “If you are finished with your meal, we can begin.”
Avoidance is a wonderful thing when applied correctly. Hopefully, it will continue. Turning to face the desk, she felt a sudden burst of confidence. Business Claire was back in charge. If I can handle past due accounts and bankers, Business Claire can deal with working side by side with Ian. She paused to take a look at the desk covered in books and loose papers. “Tell me that mess is not your accounts.” Claire moved to stand in front of the desk, taking in the disarray there and also on the shelves.
With a guilty look, Ian asked, “Is it that bad?”
Picking up notes, letters, and other papers, she stated, “Ian, it is that bad. When was the last time you could find the wood under this mess?”
Ian thought before he answered. “It has been some time. Mayhap not since Bryan left us, the man who kept the accounts last.”
Claire sat in the desk chair and started to sort the debris into piles. “How long has it been since he left?”
“Bryan left before last winter began, shortly after the harvest.”
“Are you telling me no one has taken care of any of this in almost a year?” Claire thought she might be in way over her skill level. “Look, I need your help. As it is, I need to learn how your money, or coin is valued, and what you consider something of worth for you books. There are letters here to be read and answered. I don’t know where to even begin.” She sat back in the chair, overwhelmed by the job that needed to be done.
Just take a deep breath . . .
“How about we start by sorting this mess out? One step at a time.”
“‘Tis a fine plan, lass,” Ian responded. He moved a chair next to hers and began sorting.
Chapter 9
“Are you still in here?” Hagan asked as he entered the study.
Ian wanted to kick Hagan out immediately. He thought Hagan should be pleased that he had spent the last week at work attending to the duties of being a laird. Much had been accomplished; the herds had been counted, the plans for planting were in place, and messengers had been sent out with long-awaited replies. Even the desk and shelves were organized.
“You can see we are, what is it that you need?” Ian’s tone carried his displeasure. This was the only time he spent with Claire alone. Most of it was spent working, yet there seemed to be a bit of time spent getting to know more of her. She was quick in thought and in wit. Even he was amazed at how much they had accomplished in so short a time. Mayhap the business of running the clan was not as tedious as believed, especially with Claire at his side.
With a laugh, Hagan continued, “Believe me when I say that last thing I wish is to stop you from working. Have I not been asking you to see to these matters for quite some time? However, the evening meal is being served. The men wait for you, as does my wife. We are all aware of how little she likes to wait for anything.”
Ian looked at Hagan. “Well spoken. A meal sounds like a fine thing.” He turned to see Claire still reading old ledgers. “Lass, ‘tis enough for today. It will be here on the morrow.” He called her name again before getting any response.
“Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say?” Claire asked as she looked up at the two men waiting for a response.
Ian turned to Hagan. “Go on to your meal. We will be there in a moment.” He waited for the man to leave. “Lass, when the laird speaks ‘tis wise to listen.”
Claire’s eyes sparkled with humor at his comment. She laughed. “But of course, laird, what was it you wished?”
There were many things he wished, but none of those were to be spoken aloud. He closed his eyes briefly as his mind wandered where it should not and then continued with what could be spoken. “I wish for you to be done so we can eat.” Claire’s graceful body glided to his side.
With a small mock curtsey, she said, “Then let’s go. I can see to the rest tomorrow.”
With a barely restrained chuckle, Ian led her into the hall, allowing his hand to touch the small of her back as they walked. He waited for the opportunities to place his hands on her. He knew he should resist the temptation, as his hands always craved more.
Entering the hall with Claire at his side made his chest swell with pride. She may not be his, but he treated her as such. As had become their routine, Claire sat at his right across from Hagan and Aliana. One never quite knew where the wee one would sit, and the preference of
laps changed constantly.
“Larry!” Cerwyn squealed as he ran to sit on Claire. Scooping the child into her arms, the battle for her name had long been over and “Larry” had won.
“So how goes your progress today, cousin?” Hagan asked.
“If you are looking for exact, I still need a bit more time,” Claire replied.
Ian knew what Hagan wanted, he had asked every day. Yet he sat and listened as Claire explained the matters that had been decided just today. The household stores and supplies would all be counted. The livestock would be left to multiply, especially the sheep. Wool had once brought in a fine price at the markets; hopefully it would again this fall. Meat for the table would come from hunting; groups of the men would be assigned to begin this task for the morrow. She began to speak of her research into the taxes, but Cerwyn interrupted, the usually happy toddler now very angry.
Aliana took the child into her arms as his hands held bright red cheeks. “‘Tis the other tooth. I fear this will be a long night.” With a stern look at her husband, she said, “You will be needed, keep your drinking small this night.” With a quick step to the stairs, Aliana asked, “Are you coming up with us, Claire?”
Each night Ian wished her a good sleep as she left in the company of his sister. Each night he stayed in the hall, drowning his thoughts in whiskey. Ian pretended not to notice when a few of the men asked Hagan for permission to spend time with Claire alone. Thankfully, Hagan always replied, “The lass is newly arrived, let her find her way here.” Even then there would be little in the way of permission, and Hagan let it be known that she could make up her own mind. He wasn’t sure how he would survive knowing Claire was alone in the gardens with one of his men.
Each night Hagan pointed out that his bride would arrive soon. Each night Ian grew to resent Hagan and his part in arranging the upcoming marriage. While deep in his cups, Ian resented the responsibility to which he had been born. As he sat in his chamber alone late at night with the embers burning low in the hearth, he imagined how different his life would be if Claire had said yes, if she had claimed him. Then he drank until he could think no more. Ian was aware this behavior needed to cease.
Chapter 10
Claire walked the corridor with Aliana, while both hoped Cerwyn would fall asleep. As Claire watched the woman next to her, it was anyone’s guess who was having the worse night. She could see the exhaustion and frustration on Aliana’s face. Claire finally said, “Hand him over to me. You need to go to bed. I can walk with him until Hagan comes up.”
“I should say nay but will instead bless your kindness. This new bairn I carry has made me so tired.” She settled Cerwyn into Claire’s arms. “Shhh, sweeting, Larry has you now.”
Cerwyn curled into Claire as he rested his head on her shoulder. His sleepy voice said, “Hair Larry, want hair.”
“Cerwyn wants your hair to hold. Do you mind?” Aliana waited for permission and then undid Claire’s hair. Cerwyn immediately grabbed a handful and settled in. “I ken he is spoiled, you need nay tell me.”
Claire walked as she answered, “I don’t mind about the hair, but I do mind about the Larry thing.”
Aliana laughed. “I will nay encourage it any longer then.” They continued walking the corridors, waiting for exhaustion to take over. “There is something I would ask you.”
Suddenly a bit uncomfortable, Claire asked, “What is it?”
Does she know, too?
“I ken we dinna speak of these matters, but how do the affairs of the clan stand? Does my brother truly need to wed? I am still holding out hope that he will cancel this arrangement and marry the Campbell’s daughter. Hagan tells me to leave it alone, but Ian is my only brother, and it would be fine to see him settled with a bit of happiness.” Aliana finished with a heavy sigh.
“Well, I’m not done with the books yet, but it does not look promising. I’ll know more when I figure out the taxes. When I have more information, I will tell you myself.” Her curiosity was too much, and Claire couldn’t help but ask, “Ian mentioned the Campbells and a potential marriage there. What was your thought on the woman?”
“I have only met her briefly, but Dedre is a bonnie thing and from a fine, respected clan. She would have fit in here well and has been raised to be able to manage a keep of this size. In all ways I can think of, she would have made a fine Lady Draig. My brother would have been pleased to have her by his side. They would nay have had what Hagan and I share, but I believe they would have been happy. Mayhap you will find something in the books that was missed, and talks with the Campbells could resume?”
Trying not to choke on her reply, Claire said, “I will try my best and keep you well informed, I promise.” Cerwyn was still awake and irritable on her shoulder. “Go to bed. You’re barely awake. I have him tonight.”
With a look of hope, Aliana quickly replied, “Only if you are sure it is not asking too much. Hagan should be up shortly to take him from you.” Aliana gave Cerwyn a quick kiss to his head, and then Claire was alone.
Talking softly to the child, she said, “Why do I ask questions I don’t want answers to, Cerwyn?”
The child’s only reply was, “Walk, Larry, walk.”
Claire kissed his small head as she turned to walk back down the corridor. “Shhh, I’m walking, you sleep.”
She walked back and forth for what must have been an hour before the child fell asleep. The sound of men coming up the main stairs caught her attention. If they had been any louder, they would have waked Cerwyn. She walked to the top of the stairs. As Ian and Hagan landed on the second floor, her look said it all. Both men walked toward her softly.
“I am grateful, cousin, you managed to get this one to sleep. ‘Tis no small task.” Hagan bent and gently removed the sleeping child from Claire’s arms.
“Don’t move yet. Cerwyn still has a handful of my hair.” Ian untangled the fist of the sleeping child. She held her breath when he smoothed her hair down her back.
Ian and Claire were abruptly left standing in the corridor as Hagan left with the sleeping child. Looking at Ian quickly, she said, “Thanks for your help with my hair.” She started to turn toward her chamber.
“Do you play chess, Claire?” Ian’s voice stopped her steps.
“Sure, there’s an app for that.” She laughed at the joke and then at Ian’s confusion. “I mean, I do, not very well, but I know how to play.”
“Mayhap you would join me in a game?” Ian’s voice echoed more than a simple question.
Claire smiled. “That sounds fun. Let me know when.”
Ian’s quick reply ended the vague possibilities. “How about now? ‘Tis nay so verra late, and it would be pleasant to pass the time this way.”
There was no mistaking the urgency in his voice as the invitation was issued. Claire knew she should have hesitated, but she didn’t. “Chess it is then.” Ian’s whole face brightened at her response, forcing a smile in return.
Eyeing Neala in the corridor, Ian asked, “Would you fetch us some wine?” Not waiting for a reply, Ian led Claire to his chamber, lightly touching her back as they walked. “The board is here, ‘tis more comfortable than sitting in the hall. Have a seat by the fire.”
All movement paused as Claire entered the chamber. The room was much larger than her own and even bigger than the one Hagan and Aliana shared. Most of the other furnishings in the keep were simple, almost utilitarian, but this place held the exception. The fireplace came up to her waist, and the chairs in front of it were large, covered in furs, and held pillows to rest against the wooden arms. The table between held the chessboard with space for more. The far wall held the biggest bed Claire had ever seen, which was also covered in furs. The frame was carved with a dragon head at each end that covered the entire headboard. Even the four posts were carved in the same pattern. By each side of the bed were
small tables. Ian moved throughout the room lighting candles, another luxury. The chest for his clothing was at the footboard. Unlike her chamber, the washbasin sat on its own table. This was a room made for a laird.
“Wow,” the word escaped from Claire’s mouth before she could stop it, and she felt her cheeks redden with embarrassment. “I mean, this is a lovely chamber. Well, maybe lovely is not quite the right word but it’s very nice.” Now she felt foolish. You don’t call a man’s room lovely. The uncomfortable realization hit her hard.
I shouldn’t be here. He talked about his chamber before, that night at the inn, and the bed really is covered in fur.
Ian saw her flush as her words stumbled and her eyes took in the chamber and stared at the bed. In his mind, he could see Claire lying on the furs, her hair spread around her sweet face as she reached for him. This image was nothing new to him. It was the same one that haunted his dreams every night. He felt his body tighten in longing even as he sought to shake away the tormenting image. “I am glad the chamber pleases you, please sit.”
Taking the other chair, Claire made herself comfortable. She tucked her legs at her side and rested her arms on the pillows against the arms of the chair. Her hair spilled to one side as she leaned to study the board. He clenched his hands into fists to prevent himself from reaching out to touch its unbound lengths.
“I’ve never seen a board like this one before, handmade. Do you know who created this?” Claire held the wooden pawn in her hand, marveling at the smooth texture. The game pieces were not white and black; some were dyed extremely dark, and the others were bleached pale. The board was done in stone, again dark against light. Ian knew it was a work of art and found pleasure that she saw it the same way. Claire finally looked up at him.
[2015] The Draig's Woman Page 11
