Fruit of the Golden Vine
Page 18
Irena giggled and squeezed Felise’s cheek. “I shout at your misbehavior yet you still repeat it. Won’t Mona be the same? A naughty little girl like you?”
Felise’s forehead furrowed. “You always do as you’re told, though. I think Mona will be good like you.”
“Irena even looks a bit like Mona,” said Adelina, eyes gleaming. “Those long, droopy ears, that silly lolling tongue…”
“Ada!” Irena flushed. “You take that back!”
“See, she even barks like Mona does!”
Felise giggled so hard she dropped her spoon, and Irena stopped pouting and started laughing too. As Silvana watched them, the pain in her chest found its way to her heart. Confess, flee, or continue—no matter which she chose, this happiness would soon be lost to her. A familiar darkness surrounded her, a black mood in which a noose hung over every thought and every possibility was stopped by a razor’s edge. It would be sweet to believe that in her last hour, the moon she loved would take pity on her, reaching down through withered branches to release her sorry soul. But in truth, she would simply die and be damned.
Rafael shook Silvana’s shoulder. “I know that look. Come back to the light, Silvie.”
Back to the light…
The last time she’d tried to take her own life, Rafael had found her barely in time. As the noose had tightened and her mind had moved to the edge of dissolution, she’d understood that she held no true desire to die, and when the rope had loosened, she’d wept while drawing each painful, unexpected breath. Yet even now the idea of death continued its relentless seduction. Silvana shuddered. She was dauntless in life, so why was it that she bore this tragic inclination?
Yet she knew very well why it was. Silvana returned to her meal, but each mouthful was tasteless and lay heavy in her stomach. She closed her eyes and tried not to listen to the sound of Adelina’s laughter.
To be loved.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sebastian lurked in the recesses of the coach, his face drawn into a predatory expression. Rafael sat with his head in his hands, the victim of too much cider, while Silvana watched Sebastian with a gnawing sense of trepidation. The moment he’d declared his intention to ride home with them, leaving his daughters to the second carriage, it had seemed certain that he intended some private discussion.
Yet though they had ridden for some time, the coach bouncing as it struck rocks and tilting as it turned too quickly, Sebastian remained in calculating silence. It was impressive and disconcerting how his manner could shift from jovial to crafty in the timing of a heartbeat, leaving Silvana none the wiser as to which was the act and which was the real man—or if both were true, or indeed neither.
Finally he smiled and spoke. “From the account of my daughters, your outing was a pleasant one.”
“Very pleasant,” said Silvana. “And the food from your kitchens was superb.”
Sebastian nodded. “Yes, Bruna bakes well.” His smile lapsed. “While listening to the anecdotes of the day, something struck me. Every time my daughter heard your name spoken, she blushed. Any time she spoke it herself, she averted her eyes.”
The trap was obvious. “Which daughter do you refer to?”
“You know very well.” Sebastian half-closed his eyes, as if weary, but the cunning remained behind his lashes. “Adelina.”
Silvana took a breath to calm her unease. “I suppose because she’s in love with me. You knew this already.”
“I asked you to discourage her. Do you need another night with Nerine, is that it?”
Silvana glanced at Rafael, who watched them with his mouth set in a grim line. “I thought your request was only that I do nothing to encourage her,” she said. “I didn’t realize you wanted me to actively drive her away.”
“Well, my lady, it so happens that I do. I suggest you come up with some way to disabuse Adelina of her feelings. Tell her that her infatuation is foolish, immoral and that it disgusts you.”
“You can’t be serious. You’re asking me to condemn myself as well. You know very well her proclivity is also my own.”
“Which is what concerns me. Tell me, Mistress Silvana, is my daughter still pure?”
“No living being is pure, Master Sebastian. You and I perhaps least of all.”
Rafael interrupted. “If I could—”
“Silence,” said Sebastian with a new edge to his voice. “If you both wish to continue under my roof—indeed, if you both wish to continue to walk freely within this town—you’ll do as I suggest without objection or amendment. Go to Adelina first thing tomorrow, rebuke her and never come near her again.”
“You don’t understand.” As her fists clenched, Silvana’s fingernails cut into the flesh of her palm. “You would force upon Ada an endless horror of self-loathing. She can neither compel nor cease her longings, and so she would forever be tortured by her own nature.”
“I said without objection—”
“To hell with your dictates. To save your meaningless reputation, you would have your daughter imagine herself an abomination, and that path leads to an early grave. You say you love Adelina and prize her happiness. If so, be grateful I am defying you. In so doing, I am protecting her from you.”
“Is that your answer to me?” Sebastian’s tone descended to a low growl. “That you know better what is good for my daughter than I do? That you can dictate to her father how she should best be raised?”
“You can’t comprehend her thoughts and feelings, but I know them all too well. We are the same, she and I. Our sympathy runs far deeper than your assumed paternal wisdom.” Silvana extended her hand. “If you refuse to change your mind, then I suggest you put a dagger in this hand and tell me to cut her throat. It would be more merciful.”
Sebastian sighed and sank back. “I didn’t become wealthy by ignoring counsel. Very well. I do not need you to reproach Adelina. Instead, I will only ask that you leave my household. Baron, do you understand? You may continue to court Irena, but your sister cannot stay with us.”
Rafael flushed. “Such a demand disrespects both of us. She is my blood, and I’ll be damned if—”
“No, Rafael.” Silvana touched Rafael’s shoulder. “This is how it should be. I only ask for one thing, Master Sebastian, and that is to be allowed to leave in the morning, not tonight. Ada’s heart is precious to both of us. Let me break it gently.” Silvana steeled herself. “And tell me true. Are you intending to marry her to Orfeo?”
“I am.” Sebastian spoke the terrible words with what sounded like genuine regret. “You think I’m being cruel, but I’m doing her a mercy. If Delfina finds out…no, Ada must leave my household and assume the respectability of marriage. If she goes to Orfeo, she will at least remain my neighbor.” He stared out the coach window. “I had wanted her to marry at twenty-five, but that was foolish, an old man’s whim.”
“If you truly want to do her mercy, set her free.”
“It’s easy for you to say. Ada isn’t like you. She has no title, no wealth, no brother to travel at her side. You wield a sword better than any man I’ve seen. You know the world. You understand its dangers. She doesn’t.”
“She needs no brother. I would devote my life—”
“It can’t be done, damn you! The scandal of it. Ira and Lise are destined to be respected women. Delfina would never forgive me.” Sebastian ran his hands through his thinning hair. “Orfeo is an old friend, and he’ll treat her well enough, if he wants to stay in my good graces. Ada will remain close, able to join us for lunch or dinner. She’ll be able to watch her little sister grow into womanhood. It won’t be so bad as she fears.”
Silvana closed her eyes until the turmoil within her had subsided. “May I leave in the morning?”
“You may. No kisses farewell.”
“I understand.” Silvana moved the curtain of her own window and gazed into the twilight. It seemed appropriate that the moon be obscured by clouds.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Silvana awoke f
rom a dream of blood and trees.
A wedge of morning light crept through the curtains and touched the foot of her bed. She sat, tossed the blanket aside and washed her face from a bowl of clear water. A mirror was fixed above the bowl, and she stared for some time at her reflection. It seemed as if she had been staring into this exact same face her entire life. As if she had been born this age and had remained ageless. Even the intricate design on her cheek refused to fade.
There was a quiet tap at the door. Silvana’s insides twisted. She couldn’t yet confront Adelina, but she could hardly ignore the knock. She opened the door with a shaking hand.
At the sight of her brother’s serious face, she sighed. “Rafael. Thank the Goddess. I thought you were Ada.”
“No, but she’s up and awake. She’s in the garden with Felise, Ira and the puppy.”
“I can’t face her.” Silvana sat on the mattress, which sagged beneath her. “I don’t know what I can tell her that will give some consolation to both of us.”
“Maybe I can help.” Rafael’s deep brown eyes, so like her own, shone with resolution. “I thought all night about what you said. That you could survive with her forgiveness.”
“Yes. I can’t stand that we’ll part with lies still between us.”
Rafael sat beside her and put an arm over her shoulders. “Let’s tell them the truth, then. If Irena rejects me, so be it. What matters is that we’ll have bared our souls and shed our sins.”
“Do you mean that?” Silvana took a shuddering breath. “Rafael, if they tell their parents, then…”
“Then we’ll get what we deserve.” Rafael stroked Silvana’s hair. “I love you, Silvie, and I owe you my life in more ways than one. Let’s go redeem ourselves.”
Silvana stared at her brother, and her breath moved again. “Thank you.”
Rafael smiled and touched her cheek. “Old roots wend deep.” He stood and straightened his tunic. “Let’s catch them while they’re still in the gardens.”
Silvana dressed, and together they left the manor and emerged into warm, perfumed morning air. A breeze tousled the plains grass, and pillars of white smoke puffed above the distant walls of the town.
“A beautiful day,” said Rafael, surveying the plains.
“Beneath a strange sky. Your counterpart is in full force today, Brother Sun.”
“And hopefully it means us well, Sister Earth.” Rafael grinned. “I saw that Ada is wearing a ring with a star upon it. Perhaps we can call her Sister Heaven.”
Silvana twisted the tree-marked ring on her finger. “And like heaven and earth, we were meant to kiss.” She sighed. “Come along. Every moment we delay makes this harder.”
The sound of barking intensified the nearer they came to the gardens. Silvana paused at the gate and watched as Mona flew from the bushes, her tail a frantic blur. Felise ran in pursuit, squealing laughter. Finally able to find a smile, Silvana opened the gate, and she and Rafael followed the delicate music of the fountain.
Adelina and Irena sat beside the fountain’s circular base, holding hands and conversing. Adelina looked up at Silvana and Rafael’s approach. Her eyes lit brightly enough to crush what little was left of Silvana’s spirit. “Silvana!”
“Don’t I get a welcome too?” said Rafael.
Irena laughed and jumped to her feet. “Rafael.” She took his hands. “How did you sleep?”
“An uneven slumber.” Rafael led her to the base of the fountain, where they sat together. Silvana remained standing, her eyes fixed on the jets of water. There were four, each spouting from the pool before breaking into trembling tears that spilled back into the frothing basin.
“Silvana, will you sit with me?” Adelina patted the vacant stone beside her.
“I have something to tell you both,” Silvana said. No lyricism of delivery would make this easier—the direct approach was best. “Rafael and I have deceived you.”
Irena’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, while Adelina immediately seemed sullen and mistrustful. One heart opening in mercy, the other closing in doubt.
“Deceived us?” said Adelina. “What do you mean?”
“We have no wealth.” Silvana forced herself to match Adelina’s angry gaze. “Our estate is impoverished. The manor, last we saw it, is half-collapsed. The fields haven’t been tilled for a decade. The village is abandoned and left to ruin.”
“Is that true?” Irena turned to Rafael. “It’s not true, is it?”
Rafael averted his eyes. “It’s true.”
Adelina took a step forward, her face ashen. “But that means—”
“Yes,” said Silvana. “We conspired to mislead your parents. With Irena’s dowry, Rafael intended to rebuild the estate and make it profitable again.”
“So you used her.” Adelina’s knuckles whitened. “You used all of us.”
“You have to understand,” said Rafael, a strident plea in his voice. “It wasn’t for the money but for the family I long to have. It was never…” His voice caught. “Ira, please hear me out.”
Irena stared back at him, her eyes flooded with tears. “Rafael.”
“I’m impoverished. That’s the truth. But I do have a title, and I do own land. With your dowry, we could rebuild. Raise a family. It wouldn’t be easy, and if your parents knew the truth, they’d never allow us to be together. And perhaps they’d be right to refuse.” Rafael kissed Irena’s hand. “If I were a wiser man, a better man, I would have rebuilt my home before courting you. But I didn’t realize the cruelty in it, not to begin with.”
“Rafael, I love you. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re poor.” Irena clasped Rafael’s hands to her chest. “Thank you for telling me the truth. I’ll confess, I’m frightened at the thought of poverty, but what use is wealth without love?”
“So you’ll just lie for him?” Adelina whirled on her startled sister. “You’re going to elope with him to some pigsty and grub in the muck while he wastes your dowry on drink and dice, is that it?”
“It won’t be that way,” said Rafael. “Adelina, I never intended to hurt—”
“Be silent, you sniveling, deceitful shit. I can’t stand the sight of you touching her. She doesn’t understand what you’ve done, what this means for her. She’s too simpleminded. Promise her a baby and she’d forgive you murder.”
“Ada.” Irena’s lips trembled. “That is cruel, so cruel.”
“I don’t give a damn what you do, sister, but you’d be stupid not to turn him down right now. He manipulated you! He looked at you and all he saw was money!” Adelina turned to face Silvana, whose stomach clenched into a painful knot. “And you…you…”
“Ada, I—”
“You wicked, treacherous bitch.” Adelina advanced, her whole body trembling. “You looked me in the eye and told me that you were speaking the truth. You took advantage of my heart. And seconds later, you took advantage of my body as well! How can I trust a single word you’ve told me? How can I feel anything other than defiled?”
“But I do love you.” Silvana’s voice broke, and her tears ran freely. “Ada, nothing else, nothing else was a lie.”
“You would have sold your ring too, I suppose. Gone back with your brother the kidnapper and pawned it.” Adelina’s chest heaved with her fervid breathing. “I trusted you. I trusted you, and you made me seem a fool.” She spun on her heel and stared at the fountain. “This well grants wishes if you give it silver, doesn’t it, Ira?”
Irena said nothing. Her face trembled, and she clutched at Rafael’s tunic.
“Well, let’s say it does.” Adelina took the ring from her finger and flung it into the fountain. “I wish that Silvana were dead.”
A cold fatigue crept through Silvana’s body, numbing everything it touched. She reached for the only words that she had left. “Your father intends to marry you to Orfeo.”
“Another lie!” Adelina gave a wild laugh and turned the full burning force of her eyes onto Silvana. “He would never do that to me. He loves m
e.”
“It’s true, Ada. He knows about us. He knows about you.”
Adelina took a sharp breath. “You told him.”
“No! He could tell from your—”
“It wasn’t enough to destroy my sister. You wanted to destroy me as well.” Adelina stifled a sob, grimaced and wiped her eyes. “No. I won’t cry. I won’t let you have the pleasure of seeing me cry.”
“I’m telling you, Ada, I love you.” Silvana held out an unsteady hand. “Please.”
Adelina slapped Silvana’s hand away, and Silvana touched the stinging skin to her mouth. “And I’m telling you that I hate you,” said Adelina. “Don’t you understand anything about me at all? I thought we would be bound together in mutual adoration, teaching one another, consoling one another, stirring such hopes and passions that life’s horizon seemed limitless to us. Instead you proved to be like anyone else, moving me like a piece on a board.”
“But it was all true. Each time my breath met your skin, it was a promise. Every time my fingers touched your cheek, it was a vow. Every time my lips met yours, it was an oath. I do love you. I want you. Come with me and we’ll never be parted. I’ll be your salvation and you’ll be mine, and even the stars will wonder at the sight of us.”
Adelina closed her eyes. “I can’t tell what’s true from false anymore. I love you and I hate you, and I can’t live with you and I can’t live without you…” She opened her eyes, and her face grew calm. “What we had is broken, and so is the union between us. Never come near me again.”
“Adelina!” Silvana took another step forward, and Adelina slapped her cheek. Silvana stumbled back, her face smarting, and struggled to breathe through the tight knot in her throat. “Ada…”
Adelina sneered at Rafael, who seemed equally frozen. “I won’t tell our parents for Ira’s sake, but I wash my hands of you too, Baron. I wash my hands of everything. From this day forth I shall cease to care or love. I have no ambition, only bitterness. No dream, only empty existence.” She strode away through the garden, her head held high.