“Oh, yes, you like it rough. Keep it tight for me, baby, fight it.”
Oh no, this is not what I wanted for tonight. What am I going to do? Michael stops the assault of his fingers on me as he removes his clothes. He is over me, nudging my legs apart as he bites at my neck.
“Get ready for me, Dina. I’m going to give it to you rough and dirty, like the little whore you are.”
I can only manage to nod my head up and down. Not that I’m in agreement, but what else can I do? The quicker this is over with, the quicker I can fix myself. My silence and inactivity sets Michael off more. He puts his hands around my throat, choking me.
“Bitch, you wanted this, now take it.”
I struggle, gasping for air. He slams into me at the same time he releases my neck. The need for oxygen over takes the pain I feel as he is harshly ravaging my body. I want to crawl in a corner and die. Hell couldn’t be nearly as bad as the eternal scars this man has left on my soul.
Michael finishes. He kisses me, I don’t respond.
“Dina, baby, I love you. This is what you wanted. You invited me here, dressed like a hooker. That’s how hookers get treated. Its role play. Certainly you understand this.”
I can say nothing. Is this what I asked for in dressing up? Was this all role play? Michael pulls me to him as he falls fast asleep. By morning I’ve convinced myself that he was right. I was inviting new stuff into our bedroom activities by initiating our evening. Michael came here to visit his girlfriend. He finds me dressed for sex and only sex; of course I was being self-centered and greedy. He had class and work, he was tired. I shouldn’t have set either of us up for this, if I wasn’t prepared for him to take me on the spot and the way he wants me. Michael is always in control. This was his way of controlling that situation.
I wake up unable to open my eyes. Michael is gone and my face is so swollen my eyes can’t open. I lock myself in my room to hide from Maggie. The last time he messed up my face she freaked out. She’s a loyal friend and helped me find the make-up to conceal the marks, but she wasn’t happy about it. Harrison is back state side from his deployment. If she sees me like this, she will call him. He’ll kill Michael out of principal. They don’t understand him like I do.
Chapter Eleven
(1 Month later)
No Way Out
Hell. Hell is the place you are supposed to fear. Live your life in the right way so you don’t burn in hell. What happens when your hell is lived daily on Earth?
I’m in hell. I’m worthless, I’m broken, and I don’t even know the woman staring back at me in the mirror. Things have only gotten worse with Michael. Other than going to class, I can’t go anywhere; he’s my priority. Therefore, I should be home waiting on him and doing what he needs me to do. How did I get here? How do I escape? Maggie and I had the worst fight last night about Michael.
“Wake the fuck up D! This isn’t love. This is control, manipulation, and power. Love is patient, love is kind….you know, all that! Where is that with Michael? What you have with Michael is fear, Dina.” Maggie states.
“He loves me in a way you can’t understand. No one can.” I reply, thinking, I don’t even understand it anymore.
“You’re right, Dina. I don’t understand, I can’t understand. You don’t hurt people you love.”
Her words are on continual repeat in my head. Battered. Broken. Discouraged. Lost. Alone. I will not be defeated. Somehow, I will come out of this. I will not crash and burn.
Chapter Twelve
To Be Free
Full of a new found resolve I didn’t know I had, I’m going to talk to Michael. Maggie is staying with Brayden tonight. It’s the perfect opportunity to fix my relationship.
I make dinner, chicken and dumplings like my mom used to make. Oh momma, what have I gotten myself into? If you were here, things would be so different. Shaking away the thoughts of my parents, I prepare for my evening.
Michael and I are eating. The look in his eyes tells me this isn’t the night to discuss anything. The fire is there, the evil glare that is my new warning of what’s to come. He’s void of emotion, hatred for me radiates off of him. Maggie is in my head saying ‘this isn’t love’.
“What the fuck is your problem? I see that look, Dina. Smug bitch aren’t you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Michael.”
“Always playing stupid. Yeah, you’re a dumbass, but I’m not stupid. You’re thinking about someone else. You want someone else here and not me. Too bad, I’m all you’ll ever get. Understand that, no one wants you. Not even your precious Maggie wants to be around. She’s always gone because she can’t stand you.”
The tears are freely falling. I’m unable to stop them. This infuriates him further. He grabs me and pulls me out of my chair. For the first time, he doesn’t back hand me. His fist, yes his fist, comes down on my face. I hear the crack of my nose breaking, blood spilling out. He’s pulling me out of my apartment now. That’s the last thing I remember before waking up on the ground floor of my apartment complex, as he’s kicking me in the stomach. I curl into a ball trying to protect myself. My arm is distorted, my body crying out in agony. I’m trembling, sobbing, bleeding, and completely lost. Suddenly, Michael stops, there are noises all around me but I can’t see. At some point, Michael either kicked my head or I busted it on the fall down the stairs; I begin bleeding from my head. Now covering my eyes, I can’t see past the red liquid.
Maggie is beside me, crying. Brayden picks me up, my body screaming in protest at the movement. He carries me to his car. The ride is a blur as I’m in and out of consciousness. At the hospital, my injuries are treated. I have a mild concussion, a broken nose and arm, two cracked ribs, a twisted ankle, and some abrasions, but for falling three flights of stairs and being beaten, I’m lucky.
I arrive home to feel sickened by my own apartment. Ryder is there. My heaven sent angel, in the middle of my hell. His hand is swollen, blood stains his clothes. Michael’s blood. Ryder beat the shit out of Michael. He’s waited here to make sure I’m okay. He’s a stranger, but every time I’m near him, he feels like my safe haven.
He gently pulls me into him. He whispers, “Never again will he come around or hurt you, this I promise you. He is not going to call or come by. There are no apologies or gifts this time. So be safe, be happy, let him go and start over. You are too beautiful, inside and out, for that bastard.” With that he leaves.
He’s right, I need to start over. This is not the life I deserve. This will not define me. I will pick myself up. I will be restored, I will not crash and burn at the hands of a man.
~The End~
This is the end of Dina’s chapter in life with Michael. Read on in the Love and Repair Series to find out if she can overcome the damage to her heart and the many scars left by Michael. Ryder has his own path to follow. Will it lead him to Dina? Can they come together and be better for each other? Restore My Heart holds the answers to these questions and gives you more of Brayden and Maggie, who have their own story to share.
Restore My Heart
Copyright © Chelsea Camaron 2013
First E-book publication February 2013
Published by: Whiskey Girls Publishing
Cover Design by: Jessie Lane
Editing by: Asli Fratarcangeli
Formatting by: IndieVention
All Rights Reserved: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction in whole or in part, without express written permission by Chelsea Camaron.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This work of fiction is intended for mature audiences only. All sexually active characters portrayed in this ebook are eighteen years of age or older. Please do not
buy if strong sexual situations, violence, domestic abuse, and explicit language offends you.
Dedication
To all the good men.
It takes real love, heart, strength, and patience to be the man to pull a broken woman out of the pits of her internal hell and show her real love unconditionally.
To my husband, you have restored my heart. I love you hubbub. Thank you for standing by me and loving me through it all. You saw past the broken and scarred pieces of me to find the beautiful inside. You loved me through it.
I love you, my Misterman.
Always and Beyond Forever.
Prologue
Ryder
What’s this girl’s name again? Ah hell, she wants to feel special and I can’t even manage to remember her name. Lani, Lori, Laura; something like that, I think. Brayden will find this entertaining once we arrive at the restaurant. I text him to see if we can stop by for introductions; he said sure thing. I know he’s laughing at this. But if it gets me balls deep in her tight heat tonight, so be it. Yes, I’m off to let some chick meet my roommate and best friend, not that she’ll be around long enough to get to know anything more than his name. The things I do to get a new piece of ass.
Girls are raised with a misconception of prince charming coming to take away all of their problems. Thing is, prince charming doesn’t exist in real life; that’s why he lives in fairy tales. Like Cinderella’s step sisters trying to make the shoe fit, women can’t form men into a certain fit the way they want. When it’s right, the slipper will slide right on. Always remember it’s made of glass and it must be handled with care. That is the reality of love right there, when its right you still have to be gentle and take care of it in all of its fragile states.
Add to that the delicate balance of daddy-daughter relationships and men don’t stand a chance. You’ll either find the Daddy’s girl who’s first love is her Dad. These girls are confident. They’re in no rush to accept anything less than real emotion, real love, because their Dad gave them that security.
The flip side to that are the ones with Daddy issues. The woman whose dead beat Dad walked away without teaching them real love; only abandonment. These girls are usually easy and are just looking for a connection in any way they can feel it. Even if it’s just a fleeting moment, a rush, they want to feel love. After a few heartbreaks, they become real man haters.
Either way, from childhood, most little girls dream of the day they find their forever in a man. This makes it easy for them to fall for the many lines a hormone driven dude, such as myself, will give them. They strive so much for that connection, that security, they will believe just about anything you say. What they know to be a lie, they convince themselves that they can change in you. Overcome the bad boy, change the player into a one woman man; surely they can love you enough to change you. Love conquers all, after all, that’s what they’re told from the time they are hosting pretend tea parties.
I’m young still, not ready to be tied down or deal with the delicate nature of love and a serious relationship. I do believe in love, commitment, and forever. I just know that now is not the time in my life for such seriousness. Until that day comes, I want to taste the variety of women that exist in my world.
I have spent a week texting this chick, making her feel special. It’s not enough, though, and she says she wants to meet my friends. Really feel like she knows me. I love a challenge, so fine, you can meet my friends.
We walk into the restaurant where Brayden is having dinner with Maggie, his girlfriend, and Dina, her roommate. As soon as we enter, I feel a charge in the room. I see her sitting with them and I’m immediately consumed. She is a magnet drawing me over to her. Never have I felt an instant pull to someone like this.
Dina is a downhome, gorgeous girl. Her makeup is subtle, with natural looking blonde hair. She carries herself in a casual comfortable look most of the time. To be honest, I would find her sexy in a paper bag. She has on a black shirt that dips down just enough to hint at her cleavage. She has curves, gorgeous curves, in all the right places. She is by no means a big girl, she is skinny, but with boobs and ass that are definitely enough for any man to enjoy. Her flat stomach is calling out for me to run my hand up it to cup her very full breasts or down to her hips to slide around and scoop her luscious ass. When she looks at me, I feel like she is looking directly into my soul. The world seems to stop around us as I am pulled into Dina and everything that is simply her.
We don’t get beyond the casual hellos and introductions before some prick is manhandling my Dina out of her seat. Whoa! My Dina? Where did that come from? I don’t know why, but my adrenaline and instinct are now in overdrive. I am burning with fire coursing through my veins.
Before any of us can react, they’re gone. Maggie is crying as Brayden is trying to quickly settle their check. The blonde with me is grabbing at my arm. I shake her off, leaving her there as I climb in Brayden’s car behind Maggie.
When we arrive at the apartment, Brayden escorts Maggie inside. I stay out front, searching for the prick so I can shove him around a bit. Adrenaline, anger, disgust, rage, and an emotion I can’t manage to describe, all well up inside me.
Brayden comes out almost immediately. The look on his face is horror and pure hatred. My boy is a firecracker with a lit fuse about to blow. The look on his face, his demeanor, it all sends me into overdrive.
Through gritted teeth, Brayden says, “His name is Michael and he’s roughed her up in the face. Maggie swears this is the first time. I don’t give a shit. He needs to be taught a lesson.”
We spend hours searching for that fucker but can’t find Michael that night. Brayden and I decide to skip classes the next two days looking for him. Eventually we back off after Maggie asks us to, per Dina’s wishes. Dina felt like Michael was sorry and wouldn’t do anything like this again.
I feel the weight of the world on my chest. From what Brayden has shared with me, Dina lost her parents in an accident and Michael is the only person she is comfortable with, outside of Maggie. My Dina is broken, alone, and so fragile. There I go again, my Dina, like she would ever have anything to do with me.
For months, I keep my distance, watching Dina from afar. She thinks she hides the swelling, the bruises, the marks, the tears, but I see beyond the fake smiles and makeup. I see how she carries herself utterly lost and damaged. My chest aches, I feel so helpless. One thing I know is you can’t help someone until they’re ready to help themselves. I can’t make her leave him as much as I want to. I will, however, make damn sure she has all the support she needs to pick up the pieces once she’s ready.
I don’t know why she has such a pull on me, but I feel like she’s meant to be mine. I have never given any thought to a future with one woman, until Dina. I need to fix me, get my life straight, so when Dina is ready I can be the man she needs and wants.
I’ve cut back on my man whoring. I’m currently only hooking up with Val. A man has needs after-all. Valerie and I have history and we have a great understanding. Tonight she wants to hookup, and I’m not about to complain.
Maggie and Brayden are with Val and me for drinks. Since Maggie is planning to stay over, she realizes she needs her computer, which is back at her apartment. We stop by so she can grab it. That’s when we see her, My Dina, cowering on the ground, while that bastard is kicking her. I lose it. Seeing her bleeding and looking so helpless snaps something inside me.
At this moment I don’t care if I go to jail, Michael’s ass is mine. Maggie and Brayden rush over to Dina. Scooping her up to get her to the hospital while I rearrange Michael’s face. Once I start, I can’t stop punching him, even as he is begging me to let him go. When his face is unrecognizable through the swelling, I finally back off enough so we can come to an understanding that he is to forget Dina. I sure hope he stays away, otherwise I will kill him.
I wait impatiently inside Dina’s apartment for their return from the hospital. The moment she enters, I gently pull her close as I whisper in
her ear. She seems numb. I’m not sure she’s taking it all in.
“Never again will he come around or hurt you, this I promise you. He’s not going to call or come by. There are no apologies or gifts this time. So be safe, be happy, let him go and start over. You are too beautiful, inside and out, for that bastard.” With that, I leave before I do something crazy like kiss her.
Waking up the next day, I have a message from Maggie. Dina finally did it. She’s finally ready. I don’t know if she realizes just how strong she is to face this and to walk away from the hold he has on her. Brayden and I help the girls move that afternoon. Dina picks up a new phone and new car so Michael couldn’t accidently bump into her somewhere. Maggie says Dina is numb but serious about putting Michael and their relationship behind her.
I know she’s nowhere near ready for a new relationship yet and I have my own loose ends to tie up with Valerie. I will wait as long as it takes for Dina to find herself again. Once she’s ready, I will make sure I am the man of her fairytales, dreams, and fantasies.
Michael not only physically broke Dina, he mentally crushed her. That’s what men like him do. It’s not about overpowering a woman, not about the physical violence. It is about control, power; and the best way to hold control is to make their women feel inferior, weak; make them unable to be of value to anyone, including themselves. Women are stronger, physically, then most acknowledge. They will take all the physical pain you can dish out once they become broken mentally they don’t have the fight left to push back. A woman is a treasured rose, hardy, sturdy, full of layers and absolutely beautiful in any color or age from a bud to a blossom. Like roses, women have thorns to protect the outside, but their hearts are delicate petals that are easily bruised and scarred.
Love and Repair Series Box Set Page 4
